Help a Friend Unable to See Her Son

She can legally fight for anything she wants, and the court will determine the resolution. Something sounds very odd that she has been to court three times and has not regained any form of custody or visitation. The court system is set up to be VERY much in favor of biological parents. Has she had psychological evaluation yet? Has she had a home study? Something sounds odd in this story. You are seeing and hearing only one side, and it sounds like a number of pieces of the story are unknown.

Sounds like "temporary custody" lasted for years not months I don't blame her mom. Kids aren't convenient.. The mom is trying to protect her investment in this child...emotionally, physically, and financially. If she is getting angry, help her know that this won't help her case. She obviously needs to show how much she has changed and that her situation is appropriate for custody. I know YOU can't make the change for her but you can continue to encourage her to better herself and help her become the mom that her mom is looking for.

I am a bit confused.....

What do you mean "medical papers" stating she is not allowed to see him? Who would get papers and who would then not be able to see the boy?

In my opinion if she has tried THREE times to get a temp custody order overturned, and has not been successful, that is more than a paperwork screw up.

I think her only recourse is going to be to hire a lawyer. But I would try legal aide. She also needs to decide what she wants, and then determine if it's in the best interest of her son..... Does she want custody back? Visitation? Is she in a position (mentally, physically, emotionally) to re-engage with her son?

Depending on her situation.... she might want to focus her energy on getting her life together, first. Does she have a job? a stable place to live? How long has it been? How old is the child now?

Those are things that a judge would look at.

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ETA - if she is providing medical care, then she should be able to get the name of the counselor, it would be on an Explanation of Benefits (provided the counselor was paid for using insurance).

This is why she needs a lawyer. Grandma can't keep paperwork. The Grandma may be able to keep the paperwork from being seen by a girl, but the counselor should have to testify officially (or provide an official affidavit) if they feel it's in the best interest of the child to sever ties with mom.

Most lawyers will allow you to set up a payment plan. They will take a $500 retainer (for the first amount) and then you pay as you go. Or find someone who will take her case pro bono. University of Iowa has a law school (if that's where she is.... your profile said Iowa, so I guessed). Call and see if they know anyone who can take cases probono or if their family law professors take on cases. Sometimes they have to take on a certain # of cases to "keep active" and this would be a good way to get reduced rates.

It is nice you are trying to help your friend, but there is a lot of information that is lacking. Was it her mother and father (her mother's husband?) that split up or did your friend and the baby's father split up when the baby was 2?? Can she go to the "father" who has custody on the weekend and get more information? How old is this child and when was the last time your friend saw her child?? Where did she go to try to get the temporary custody dropped? What court did this take place in? Contact someone in the court (that works for that judge) and ask them what steps she needs to take. If there are court documents regarding this case, make sure that they have her current contact information on it. What steps has your friend taken to show that she would be able to support a child? Does she have a job and a place to live? Has she taken any parenting classes? Those are things she can be doing to show that she would be able to raise a child. In some areas, there is an organization called Child Advocates- in custody battles, they represent the child and the child's best interests. You could check on this too.

Even if the father bailed on the family, she could have moved in w/ her mother and son, not just left her son. I'm sorry but there has to be more to the story than you telling. If she sent her son there w/ temp custody but continued to see him regularly and doesn't have a drug or alcohol problem I don't see why a judge wouldn't let her redevelop a relationship with her son. If she has been absent for a time even before the grandma cut off ties then she is a stranger. At 3 the child doesn't have that long of a memory. And if the counselor is recommending cutting ties, it's probably in the best interest of the child.

I notice you didn't specify what the "screwy" thing in the paperwork is.....

She should file custody papers. If she is getting an attorney, he/she will know what to do. Until she has legal advice, she should not do anything. Some attorneys will not accept her case if she has already started it and maybe not gone in the direction the attorney would have wanted.

And I don't understand "can she legally fight for medical papers stating she is not allowed to see him?" What do "medical papers" have to do with anything? Does she need, for some reason, to see his medical records?

She should wait for advice until she sees her attorney. There are specifics here that we don't have and good advice cannot be given without ALL the details/specifics. No two cases are alike because no two people are exactly alike so someone telling you what they did or how it worked for them, is not necessarily going to help her/you.

No experience with this whatsoever but the first thing I think of is calling legal aid. They do so much pro-bono stuff a year. Not sure how backed up they are in your area but if nothing else she can get on a wait list. In the mean time if legal aid is backed up I'd get a consultation minimum from a lawyer.

I've also read that she NEEDS to keep attempting in all ways to see her son and document it. Have proof that she's tried so her mom can't say when they get in front of the judge that she hasn't seen her son in X amount of months and it's her fault. She can then prove she's made every effort to be in her sons life. From what I've read judges find that to be VERY important. So save all emails, texts, document calls time date what was said. Document everything. Judges like that from what I've read.