He Doesn't Grasp the Reward for Successful Potty Training.

Updated on March 20, 2009
S.S. asks from Troy, MI
7 answers

My 3 year old is on his second round of potty training attempt. The first time he would go every time I told him to but that was it. We did that for a month. I wanted him to take ownership and tell me when he had to go so to put him back in diapers. It has been a month in diapers.
He has really wanted a guitar. He loves music and making music. So I told him that when his no longer wears diapers and his underwear are clean and dry his reward will be a guitar. So he is back in underwear.
After each time he goes to the toilet he says, "guitar please." As if he will get one each time he goes. How do I help him understand that it will take some time? I have tried to explain it to him but he just can't grasp the time thing. If i did a chart with stickers and a picture of a guitar at the bottom that is still not what the plan is cause I want him to be telling me before he gets the guitar not until all the stickers are filled in.

What do you suggest?

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L.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hi,
That's a long stretch for him to wait. You need to reward NOW everytime he does what you want, tells you use the potty, what ever you want.To shape behavior intially you must reward immediately. It's like telling him I'll pay you in 2 weeks for 2 weeks work, when you're a adult/teenager you get it, 3, not happening.
L.

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

Boys are hard to potty train. You have to give him time and be patient. You can encourage him...but he really has to decide he is ready. Children really have NO understanding of time either. I would think of a smaller immediate reward (m&ms or something) for each time he goes.

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A.G.

answers from Detroit on

Check out 3 Day Potty Training online, by Lora Jenson. It's amazing!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.D.

answers from Detroit on

Hi. I just completed the 3 day potty training technique that I bought on the internet for $24. It has been so awesome. All of our previous attempts have failed and he's in his fifth day of big boy pants. This is a whole different technique where you don't talk about rewards prior to them going. It's been really successful. I've tried many things before and I'm so happy with this one. Just an idea for you. I know how frustrating it is. Good luck!!!

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

we used m&ms as an immediate reward. it worked like a charm.

of course we had a girl.

If he is staying dry in underwear- I would say he is trained. even if you have to tell him to go. Soem kids take a year to go to the potty without being told.. Just keep track of the clock and take him on whatever schedule works.. He many not "know" when he has to go..

I think I took my daughter to the potty every hour for a week.. then eveyr 2 hours..

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A.T.

answers from Detroit on

The reward is actually not having to wear diapers, wearing big boy underwear and be independant... not getting a coveted toy or game !
Honestly tying potty training to a long term material reward is bound to fail since they don't have the grasp of time at that age.
My advice would be to scale back again, put him on diapers again if he's not going by himself at all until he is ready. Even if you want him potty trained for school (is it mandatory ?) he still has months before that, so no pressure and just tell him he knows where to go if he needs to go potty...

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E.M.

answers from Detroit on

I always gave small gifts and told him after dinner he will get one if we go on the potty all day long. Let me tell you he ate dinner well those nights.

Perhaps you can give him something small but at the end of potty training he can get the guitar.

I found that I had to not mention the reward as that is all he focused on so I would only mention it once in the morning. I did not give him anything else. I also gave him all the power - tell mommy when you have to go potty. If he started to go we ran to the potty. If I ever asked him if he had to go - he always said no. He now does not like when his pants are wet and runs into the bathroom.

I just started this a few weeks ago. We still have accidents. I only gave prizes on the first 5 days - little match box cars.

I am not sure if this helps or not. Good Luck

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