Go Back to Work or Wait...?

Updated on June 21, 2012
J.A. asks from Whiteland, IN
11 answers

I've been a stay at home mother for 2 years now. I quit working while I was pregnant with my first daughter. My job didn't pay much, and my husband's work hours were so crazy. It was just easier to stay home and rest. Then we were suprised by a second baby a year after the first was born. Their birthdays are literally 6 days apart, lol. Now the second is almost 7 months old. She is still breastfeeding. I plan to continue until 10-11 months. Here's the dilemma: I hate being at home all the time. I had always planned on waiting until the youngest was a year old before going back to work. But I'm getting extremely restless. And I would go get a job right now if that was the only issue, but it's not. I do not want to pump breastmilk. I hate the pump, and I've only used it twice with my second child. My youngest won't even take a bottle, although I'm sure she'd accept it if need be. Also, I do not want to give her formula. Her sister was breastfed until 6 months. She had to be switched to formula because I was pregnant and simply wasn't producing the milk anymore. She was actually losing weight. So I'm excited that my youngest has gotten passed that 6 months mark, and my milk supply is still doing fine. I can get a job at a daycare because I am currently in school for Early Childhood Education. And the daycare I'd be pursuing provides a discount on childcare, so my daughters could both go with me. It's also right down the street from my husband's work, so we could easily share the car. I'd like to add, though, that I'm bored out of my mind being at home everyday. My husband always has the truck, so I can't go anymore except on the weekends (unless I want to drive him back and forth). It's HOT outside, so I keep the little ones inside. And I'm easily stressed because I never get a break from the girls.

Here's my question, if this was your choice to make, would you go back to work now and deal with the nursing and bottles issue? Or would you wait a few more months?

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So What Happened?

My younger daughter has finally decided to calm down and be a bit happier. So I've decided to stay home for now. Enjoying time with my babies. :)

More Answers



answers from New York on

Wow... if you are that unhappy then you NEED to go back to work... you need to choose which you hate more, being stuck at home or pumping.

It is also possible they will let you nurse your LO since she will be there along with you, it couldn't hurt ot ask.

Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

Every Mom and every situation is different. I personally would never give up one day I spent at home with my children and not working. Maybe you can find some other Moms in your area for play groups and outings where you can carpool so you and the kids can get out of the house and release some of your stress. Are you a member of a church or synagogue that has mother's groups or activities? If you aren't but are a person of faith, you might visit some of the larger churches or synagogues because they tend to have those sorts of groups. I didn't work again until my youngest started 5th grade and now that they are bigger they have told me that they were glad I was home and didn't like it when I went back to work. Maybe you just need to find a way to take a little break once a week or so until the baby is weaned.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I like the daycare idea as you'd be there and the kids would but you're still out and about......regarding nursing..maybe it would be possible for you to go into the baby room when it is time to nurse the baby........

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

I can honestly tell you from first hand experience that working in child care with 2 little ones is like having those little ones all day long but multiplied.

When I went back to work after my daughter was born I was in the Kindergarten classroom and she was in the baby room. I would go home and feel like I had been there all day. It was not like I had done anything different.

If I can suggest a different avenue....take a day off and go to the local Head Start and maybe the school admin offices. Fill out applications for there. It will not be child care, it will be a totally different feel and it will be wonderful.

I think the timing would be good too. You can start back to work in August instead of now. There will be some training days to start with but once the classes are back in session you'll have a different experience. The hours will be the main thing that will be different. Schools have classes from 8-3, Kindergarten is usually out a bit before and pre-K is out even 30 minutes earlier. So it will be a shorter day, more days off for teachers meetings and professional days. Plus Fall Break, Winter Break, Spring Break, ...and it will be a lot more pay.

It is a more professional job that your degree is for. It would also help you to be a Master Teacher in the classroom as soon as you have that degree

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

If it were my choice, I would stay home. But, I enjoy being a SAHM. There are times I need a break or I feel stressed out, but that will happen with any job (paid or unpaid). Parenthood is about sacrifice. You may have to put your wants on hold for your children's needs. Again, this is my opinion.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

My question is if you worked at a daycare would they let you take breaks so nurse your daughter. Have you thought about that? That's something I would check into. You say should could get used to a bottle but you don't know. some babies never will take a bottle if they are not introduced soon enough.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Cleveland on

If you want to work, I would look into if you can nurse her there. I'm a teacher and went back to work when mine was 5 months. I started her on the bottle at 2 months, but she didn't care for it then and didn't care for it when I went back to work. We were lucky if we could get 3-6 oz in her. She reverse cycled, meaning she nursed when she was with me including many times throughout the night. It's still a bit of a blur. So, that said, if that doesn't work I would wait until her nursing has slowed down a bit around a year old or at least Fall.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Cleveland on

With the option on the table I'd go back to work. It doesn't get much better than that.

Also would you have to pump if the girls were right there? Why not just go nurse her? Just a thought.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Columbus on

I would wait until I’m done breastfeeding, which will give the little one a little more time to mature her immune system before going into daycare, I had to place my son on daycare at 6 moths and he got RSV and was always getting sick; my second didn’t go until he was 18 mo. and he almost never got sick aside for a sniffle here and there.
Working for the daycare just seems like the right idea because although you’ll still deal with kids, you’ll also have interaction with other adults and you’ll be able to get out of the house. You also won’t have to worry about transportation because you can commute with your husband.
Good luck to you, I’m sure whatever you decide will be the right decision for your family!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Provo on

I would wait. Children change from one stage to another quickly. In six months (or less) you may be having an easier time with your girls. One or both of them may be at a stage that you absolutely love, which brings you a lot of joy and helps you feel better about being stuck at home. In the mean time, I would find ways to get out of the house. Every morning take a walk in a new direction. Talk to the people you meet. Find some friends with larger vehicles who would be willing to take you with them to story hour at the library, parks, splash pads, etc. Is there a bus in your area? Join a club that meets once or twice a month and convince your husband to make that his day off or hire a babysitter. I live for my monthly book club meeting. Form a preschool group with your neighbors or friends from church. Maybe one of them can provide transportation in exchange for you teaching an extra lesson. Good luck and God bless!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Cincinnati on

If I was starting to go stir crazy and stark raving mad I would go back to work. I think by you going stir crazy is a way to tell you that you are ready.

It also seems like you have found the perfect job, one where you can take your kids with you. The majority of day cares support mothers who breastfeed so I don't think that would be a problem if you had to step out for 10-15 min here or there to feed your child.

I took 8 weeks off when my son was born (He's 6 months now) and even I was going a bit stir crazy. Granted my husband was home as well (he was laid off) and I love my husband but sometimes it's nice to have a break away from him.

I've also looked at working at a day care. I have my Master's in Education and I love my job but it doesn't pay as well as I would like it to (underpaid there) so I've looked at director positions at day cares because my son could go with me and the cost would be cheaper than what I pay now in child care.

Sounds like there are a lot of pros and cons to going to work or to stay home. I would say if you are ready then why not give it a try.

1 mom found this helpful
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