Getting Worse

Updated on November 21, 2008
C.R. asks from Virginia Beach, VA
18 answers

My nearly 4-month-old daughter has always been a poor sleeper. She had been doing much better at night - waking only 1-2 times to feed - until the past few weeks. Lately, she has been getting up more often - up to 5 or 6 times a night and cannot calm herself back to sleep. The last few nights, she has been waking up at 2 or 3 in the morning and we have been unable to get her back to her crib to stay asleep the rest of the night. We've let her stay in her crib for up to a half hour; I've nursed her to sleep; we've rocked her to sleep. She goes to bed pretty easily - at times she will fall asleep nursing, but at times she will go to her crib slightly awake and fall asleep on her own without crying. Anyone have any suggestions I may not have tried? We use a fan for noise and have since she was a couple of weeks old. This morning, I finally put her in her swing at 5 am and she went back to sleep that way. I feel funny having her sleep in the swing when I'm asleep for safety reasons. Has anyone used the swing at night? Thanks for any advice!

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the responses! It's amazing how many people have differing opinions on sleep, and it was nice to have a variety of ideas.... Shortly after my desperate plea for help, she went to the pediatricians for her 4-month check up. He convinced us to restart her relux medicine - we had stopped it because it hadn't seemed to make a difference. She slept a little better the first night and has gotten better every night since!... She still has some rougher moments, but this is more what I would expect from a baby her age than what we were getting before! It's amazing because she never really seemed in pain; she was just restless. Thank you especially to those of you who said there are other answers than just letting her "cry it out"!

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S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Does she have reflux? It may be uncomfortable for her after a while to sleep lying down. Try a sleeping wedge to prop her up a little and see if that works. Good luck.

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C.S.

answers from Richmond on

I never had to do this, but I know a family who had the baby sleep in the swing at night for months.

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C.D.

answers from Charlottesville on

Hi C.,
My son started teething at about 3.5 months - it is early but many babies do this! He had been sleeping well... about 5 hours at a time for a nursed baby is very good. So when he started waking frequently I would always attend to him. I would pick him up, sooth him, nurse him, and put him back down. After a few weeks he would sleep through the night again - but not for long! His teeth would wake him up often during the night until he was about a year old. It made for not very good sleep for us for a long time, but resist the urge to keep her in your bed because you can start a bad habit that will take much longer to break! I also suggest that you don't just leave her crying if this is the case. She needs to know you will come if she is in pain and needs you! But try to get her to fall back to sleep while in her own crib. You can keep your hands on her, rocking her or petting her, but it will help her to learn to self-soothe if she stays laying in her crib while you comfort her.

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E.O.

answers from Washington DC on

My son was the same age when he went through the same thing. He was three months when I had finally got him to sleep through the night and on a great routine. Then all of the sudden he wouldnt sleep. I was soooo tired, tried everything, then one night I tried the swing. I was up half the night anyway that first night checking to make sure he was fine. In the end he used the swing for about 3 months. we would set it on and it would go at like medium speed. Sometimes we would wake up to check on him and we would turn it off and he would be fine, other times the batteries would die out and he would still be fine. He eventually broke the habit on his own. Not even wanting to be in it during the day. So remember, you can read everything you want but whatever makes you feel comfortable is what you should do! Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Dover on

Ahhh man, my daughter is turning 4 months. Is this what I have to look forward to? If so, I feel your pain!! Aside from napping during the day, she has been a great sleeper....UGH!!!!

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S.G.

answers from Norfolk on

Hello!!

I have a 4 almost 5 month old, and I had sort of the same problem. My son would sleep all night until around 6-8am then he started waking up in the middle of the night and wouldnt go back to sleep. I got a lot of advice and he is sleeping again through the night. Im sure its just a growth spurt they go through and should only last a few weeks. Have you tried giving her cereal? I feed my little on cereal about 7:30 or 8pm after ill put orajel on his gums and about an hour later ill give him a 5 ounce bottle and he is asleep by 9 or 10. I am starting to give him a bath every night and that really helps soothe him, do you bathe her every night also? maybe this would help soothe her also. My son is teething so the orajel and tylenol helps a lot!! if she takes a paci try giving it to her and patting her butt it should help.... but dont worry your nights will get better and she will start sleeping through the night before you know it!

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I.W.

answers from Norfolk on

Mine also went through that at 4 mos. Up until that point, she had been sleeping for about 5 hrs at a time at night and then all of a sudden, she was up every 3 hrs. I assumed it was a growth spurt and nursed her when she woke. It got better after a while, but she didn't sleep through the night until about 7 mos. I also put her in the swing at night when I was desperate for sleep - and she survived!

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T.C.

answers from Washington DC on

4 month old breastfed babies rarely sleep through the night. congratulate yourself if you only have to feed her once. if you feed her twice, oh well. don't believe the hype about babies sleeping through at 4 months. in the meantime, you can put her in a comfy bouncy seat that she likes instead of a crib. maybe she needs to feel more swaddled all around her, and some types of bouncy seats can offer that, versus a crib. good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Ive known plenty of people that have used the swing for sleeping and even the carseat. Altho I do not reccommend starting these habits. I personally couldnt let my child sleep there all night either, but I know some cases were extreme and there was NO other way. Exceptions can always be made.
Maybe the baby is trying to adjust her schedule and just cant figure it out. If you know she has been fed and isnt poopy/wet then I wouldnt talk to her or move her just pat her back to sleep. Just remeber whatever action you take you could be starting a habit that you might find impossible to break later.

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C.T.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi C.,

I tend to think that she's going through a growth spurt, and will eventually settle back into a regular sleep pattern again. (I used to think "growth spurt" was a bad word, because it meant so much nighttime hassle!) Also, sleep patterns in infants are constantly changing as they adapt to and become aware of the world around them.

Co-sleeping worked for us, on those nights I couldn't stay awake in the rocker; we don't have a swing, so that was our solution.

And don't worry: these sleepless nights WILL pass! My son, now 20 months, didn't consistently sleep through the night until after he was a year old, and already those long late nights seem like a long time ago.

Good luck,
C.

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J.C.

answers from Lynchburg on

We used the swing a few times. I didn't like the idea of using it every night b/c I didn't want my daughter to get accustomed to it and "need" it to fall asleep. We just needed to get some sleep as well and found that some nights this was the best way. Our swing has a five-point harness and a tray that snaps in place, and she hasn't yet tried to get out of the swing at all (she's 9 mo now), so we don't worry about it when we put her in there. I don't know if your daughter has tried to get out of it and if it doesn't have at least a 5 point harness if it would be really safe. Sometimes she still woke up, but it usually gave us at least 3-4 hrs of uninterrupted sleep, and after she would nurse again she'd go down in her crib without a problem. Hope this helps!

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B.G.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter is now 16 months and was a horrible sleeper! I totally understand why sleep deprivation is a form of torture. She would have good moments but basically she would wake every 1,2,or 3 hours for the first 6 months. We knew sometimes she was teething or she'd seem more hungry so there were some growth spurts, but she just never seemed to sleep well - And no, I didn't expect her to sleep "through the night" yet, but sometimes she was waking every hour and not because she was hungry. I read about babies sleep patterns and it seemed she was waking in between her sleep cycles and couldn't fall back asleep. We tried everything including the swing, which worked for a little while but then she started waking in the swing as well. I even put a blanket on the floor with some overhead toys and the tv on and laid on the floor with her so I could get some rest.

One of the other things I tried was propping her on her side, when one night she rolled on her tummy- She then slept 5 hours! She was around 5 months old and has been on her tummy ever since. We talked to her pediatrician who cautioned us, but also told us if she could roll over, she should be fine. We made sure she had no other risk factors for SIDS - smoking in the home, no bumper in the crib, no family history of SIDS, etc. She continued to wake once maybe twice each night for most of her first year for feedings and would go back to sleep fine. We also weaned her middle of the night feedings toward the end of her first year, during which time we let her cry it out. This process only took two days and from then on she has slept through the night - on her tummy. I am a tummy sleeper too, so I think that runs in the family! Good Luck!

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K.B.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter never slept either. I would put her in her bouncy seat (in her crib) to get her to sleep. Whatever it takes. Just be as carefull as you can. Pillows and blankets under the swing (just in case). All children go though patterens of different sleep. It's their body's way of dealing with all the changes to them. Good luck!

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M.P.

answers from Norfolk on

I am a single mother or 2 boys and I will say that with my oldest I did use a swing at night. It was one of the things that put him back to sleep. Does she seem to be in pain when she wakes up? My oldest started teething at 4 months old. I tried everything from orajel to tylenol and none of it seemed to help. With my youngest I found a safe and easy remedy that most people have in the house at all times. Vanilla extract works the best in my case. All you have to do is rub some on her gums once she wakes up and see if it helps any, that may be why she is not going back to sleep at night. I also used the "Mommy Bear" it helped a lot. Hope this helps some.

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S.E.

answers from Washington DC on

I wouldnt recommend putting the baby in the swing over night ! For an hour or so is one thing but NOT for overnight. IS this your first child ? Unfortunetly your baby had learned that you will come to the rescue when she gets up at night. They learn very early how to play us. I believe you are going to have to break her by letting her cry. If she is fed, and you know she is dry she is fine. Check on her but dont pick her up. I am sure she will be very upset with you at first, and It may even take 2 weeks of letting her cry but its the only thing that works that I know of. Good luck.

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S.A.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi C.! My 1st son (now almost 8yrs), was a snuggler & slept right next to me in bed until I met my husband (his step-father) & he was 5 years old!
My 2nd son, who is now 18 mos. slept in his swing going full throttle at the foot of the bed until he was about 6 months. It was the only way he seemed happy! I was kind of really nervous about SIDS, but the research I did told me that my baby sleeping in a swing (upright) was completely safe & in my opinion, maybe the safest way an infant can sleep!
I say whatever works! Every child is different, so if yuours likes swinging all through the night, then let them be! Just know that you'll go through a TON of C or D batteries!!!
Good Luck!
BTW-now at 18 months, my son has been content in his stationary crib since we made the break from the swing when he was maybe 7 mos old?
S.:)

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

She is doing this because you allow it. My daughter and all the kids i have watched were not allowed to get up anymore at 3mo. It is proven they don't need food after that age anymore. They are waking up because they are allowed. They are waking up in the first place because they are shown there is reason to when they wake up they are given the breast or cuddled and they like it and start waking up at that time to receive that even though they don't need it, they like it and you allow it. Just like adults getting up early for work are teaching their body to wake up because they have to be to work. Even after not working at the hour the normally still wake up for a long time.
If you want to stop it you need to make it not enjoyable. Feed her but that's all. Don't turn on the light, don't talk to her or sing make the only reason you are getting up for the feeding. Make it very dull. Don't offer her alternatives like the swing. After a while she will get tired of it, she doesn't need the food she's waking for the company. She goes to sleep in the swing because she really is tired.

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E.T.

answers from Washington DC on

Four months is a developmental milestone for baby's sleep. They start sleeping more lightly and spending more time in REM sleep.

It is normal.

I have not used a swing at night, but I had one desperate friend resort to it.

Personally 4 months was when I caved and started co-sleeping with my daughter because of how often she was waking. I had to get up for work and it worked.

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