Foster Care! - Santa Clara,CA

I have taken many babies and children to emergency foster care homes. You are doing something wonderful for these babies and children. I applaud your willingness to do this.

Are you saying that you are certified for an infant up to the age of 2 only? Or are you asking about arranging your son's room so that he will share with another child? How many babies/children are you certified for?

If your son is going to share, how does he feel about doing so? That will be the most important part of your preparation. I suggest that he needs to have a way of protecting his belongings and feeling that he doesn't have to share everything.

How long does CA leave babies/children in an emergency care home? That too would make a difference in how you arrange your space.

I don't understand why there would have to be MAJOR reorganizing. The baby/child needs a place to sleep, a place at the table to eat, and a place to play and toys to play with. You will need a place to keep clothes and other items needed in the care of a baby or child.

If your son is sharing his room and you don't already have an extra bed then I suggest getting a bunk bed. I'm sure that CSD has already told you how many beds you need based on the number and ages of the children which you are certified to care for.

I suggest that you put a variety of toys for a variety of ages in a couple of laundry baskets that you can keep in a closet. If you have a bookcase add some children's books to it. Perhaps you have some toys and books from when your son was young. I suggest clearing out a dresser drawer or two for the children's things. My experience has been that babies and children arrive in emergency care without anything except the clothes on their backs and perhaps a favorite toy or two.

When I had planned to do emergency care I started shopping in thrift stores and planned to have outfits in several different sizes that I would keep in a drawer. I'd choose ones that could be for either a boy or a girl when possible. Don't buy new clothes because most of these children will be overwhelmed by them.

Have diapers in a small size, medium, and large sizes along with sleepers and a few baby toys that you can keep in your room.

In Oregon the emergency home parents are given a stipend to purchase necessities for the babies/children but don't expect to be able to do that right away. These kids are traumatized and need your attention much more than they need physical things.

I'm sure that they've told you that the babies or children that you get are all anxious and will be acting in different ways, depending on their experiences and personalities. Some will be abusive to you, your husband and your son if you're certified for children. Babies and toddlers may be difficult to handle. My best recommendation is that you not make any major changes until you've done this a couple of times and know what you need.

I'm sure your home already looks nice. You had a home study and passed so don't worry about what your home looks like. The babies and or children will for the most part not experienced as nice a home as yours and would be even more anxious if your home is spotless and has really nice or expensive things. What you're living with now is just fine. Do be sure to put away anything that you don't want broken or damaged. And remove as much clutter as you're comfortable with. Some of these children will be great explorers and will get into everything. lol

How you treat the children will be much more important than what your home looks like. I was talked into taking an emergency placement which did not go well with my foster daughter. I found that I had to spend all of my time that week end with the two of them. Be prepared to fix simple meals and let housework go.

You are taking on a very difficult but rewarding job. I'm pulling for it to go well for you.

I have no advice, as I've never done it, but my parents fostered my brother from 2-8 years old when he died. He was my brother. I commend you for doing what you're doing! You must be such a loving, caring couple to give so much of yourselves! Good for you!

no advice...just applause. i know you're not trying to be a hero, but you're going to be someone's hero soon for sure. bless you...

don't worry about the space. give your kids and each other love and that will truly get them by.

one idea is if you have one entire wall you could turn into vertical storage, ie. shelving that covers an entire wall, that could be very helpful. stuff from linens, toys, paperwork, clothes, books, magazines, can be put into bins, labeled and stored all on one wall of your home.

just one idea...again, don't worry about (inside) space and stuff...kids these days generally have too much of it anyway, in my opinion.

good luck!

Hi,

Ten years ago we did exactly what you are doing and after 13 emergency shelter care kids we ended up with our son, now 8 yo.

The best way to prepare is to assume you know nothing about parenting :) Making the house safe is the least of your worries. It sounds like you will only be able to take one infant at a time given that you have a 2 bdroom and a 10 yo son...unless your son is prepared to share his room with another boy. Boys and girls cannot be co-mingled past the age of 5.

In order to pass our annual inspection, we had to have every possible toxin, e.g,. hand soap, dish soap, medicine, etc under lock and key. They prefer you to have a hall closet with lock and key for medicines - no longer can they be in any medicine chest in any bathroom. All of your soaps, chemicals, etc. normally stored in the garage will need to be under lock and key. If you have dangerous plants (we had a cactus collection) it had to be covered by protective netting such that no one could reach their hand in. All cupboards/drawers in the kitchen require a safety lock/latch so that only an adult can safely open. Those are the highlights...in our case we got a check list from our agency so we knew what to expect...you might ask what form they will use to do the home inspection and base your changes on that.

Good luck...we loved it.
P.

God Bless you as you have been called for this journey!!

We have 4 birth children and have helped to raise many foster children esp 6 coming straight from the hospital to us-- no name even so we got to name the sweethearts. Please remember that since you are doing emergancy care-- these children are in truma and shock. You have no idea how and what they have lived as part of and some 7 year olds may not be able to contorl their bowels/bladder. They are waiting to be hit for a glass breaking and not thier fault. Tired in the day from staying awake all night for fear of what willl happen inthe dark hours-- and it really does happen. This will be the greatest service you can ever do for someone and the hardest on your own family. I have a son who went into law enforcement becasue of what he saw these childen go through. Don't expect gradtitude, they think everything has strings attached but make sure that if they learn one thing its that you value them and they ae important to you. I have had many teens. I have ad many children come back to me years later with their own children and remained close. So I have what I am blessed to call my extra Grandchildren all 9 of them! I am as much apart of thier lives as my own children's and when my husband died theses kids came from everywhere to be o help and still do. Take things that are special to you life crystal vases and frames and put them where they can't be harmed ( a box) andset out the things that are specail not not more important than these children that other people have tossed away. You will find they come with nothing so have a variety of sizes of clothes so that no matter the age you have something they can wear. I have considered renewing my licence as I let it lasp for many years just becasue of a little 12 yo I met that is facing foster care and all her siblings are already in it and she has very little contact withthem. Be sure to be ready to face some foolish questions while shopping with children of many races. I felt I didn't owe anyone a explination so I just said yes these are mine and let them get smart enough to figure it out.
If you rent your condo make sure you have not got a clause in the lease about doing this very thing. I once had one that did and had the Landlord sign a statement that it was alright( after I'd had 4 children- he knew about). Be prepared gothe extra mile and if you need me please contact me. Thanks for doing this