For Those Teachers - How to I KEEP My Kids Scoring in the 90Th Percentiles?

The best thing you can do is recognize that learning entails many things. Standardized tests are not the only measure of intelligence or mastery of certain subjects. The mark of an intelligent person is one who is curious and can engage in critical & creative thinking, not just one who knows facts. Allow your children some down time to explore - whether it's outdoors or with toys or books or puzzles. Be sure to engage all their senses and multiple skill sets. Take them to museums, take them bowling (exercise and math), take nature hikes (look, listen, smell, touch), do crafts based on the seasons. Take time to smell the roses, you know. DO NOT overschedule - those kids cannot do anything on their own without a structured system and a set of directions, and they aren't really comfortable with themselves. When I see people walking their dogs, pushing a stroller or hiking while talking on a cell phone, I go crazy! Stop, enjoy, slow down, experience the world around you!

Give your kids interactive toys that encourage creativity - things like legos or brio trains or marble-building sets. Let them mix & match toys - my son built Lego and K'nex buildings over his wooden train tracks, added hot wheels, and so on. He's now studying structural/civil engineering. He had ONE activity plus religious school per week - sometimes it was basketball, sometimes soccer, sometimes an after-school club. The rest of the time, he PLAYED with friends - he learned to set up neighborhood games, he built stuff in the woods, he learned to socialize, etc. We went to museums and to nature areas. He had down time when we didn't organize him and he was responsible for himself. His first intense activity was in high school when he joined the track team, and the first year the coach really encouraged the kids to try different events until they found the one that suited them. It was the greatest experience.

We also played board & card games - Monopoly, Sorry, Scrabble, Uno, Boggle, Clue, etc. They encourage reading, math, problem-solving, spelling/vocabulary and social interaction -- without the kids knowing it.

I would still have your kids have quiet time/reading time before bed - it helps later on as their stress level increases.

By contrast, we have a neighbor who spent all his time on the computer and taking advanced placement courses. He was miserable, he never had time for friends because he was pressured to score well on tests and in classes, he has no social skills, etc. He scores as "smart" but he has no life. He had no activities and he didn't wind up getting into that great a college because he wasn't the well-rounded kid the schools wanted. This was not the fault of the public schools, by the way! So if I were you, I would lighten up a little, expand your definition of "learning" to include passive learning, and be sure your kids are independent, not resenting you for pressuring them into specific activities.

You are doing the right things. One thing I stress is not to put so much pressure on the children. I see some who are so extremely stressed is the grade is not 100%, etc. They have to have a life!

That said, keeping them engaged and interested in school is important. Hubby and I are very pro education and very proactive and involved with our daughter's school each year. College is not an option in our daughter's mind...her line of thinking is which college is the best for me.

It is a balancing act, especially as they get older and have more extracurricular activities. Our daughter is in Honors classes, plays the violin, and is co captain of the cheer squad. She LOVES cheer and since it is UIL....no pass no play is enforced. Although she does not have an issue with no pass no play because she is an a-b student, it is in the back of her mind.

I see a lot of elementary children stressed out. I teach regularly at the same elementary school and it breaks my heart when I see a child break down because they didn't get a 100.

Continue your good habits at home and those habits will continue with your children. Be there to support your children and COMMUNICATE a lot.

Only part of what they learn that makes them good parents, good husbands and wives, good citizens come from what they learn in schools. And schools to day don't teach kids how to be good spouses, they only teach selfishness (Its all about me.) and the very basics of the three R's.

When I was raising my kids I wanted them to be well rounded and academically above the average. We read to them and had them read to us. We asked about their home work and checked it with them. I helped my kids with their homework, but was careful not to do it for them. I wanted my kids to be moral and good citizens and good parents and spouses. I wanted them to get married once in their lives, and not look at their marriage and think of who was going to be their next spouse.

How did I do this? I took my kids to church. I didn't send them. I got my kids involved in the Boy Scouts of America as cub scouts, then boy scouts. (I read the boy scout manual and was amazed at how much they would need to know was contained in the scout manual. Each of my sons earned the Eagle Scout rank. I did things with my kids so they could learn. We played chess, checkers, scrabble, and other intellectual games that made my kids think and strategize. Together, we built a table top and benches. We built a chicken coop and then got some chickens so we could have free range chicken eggs. And most important, my wife and I realized we should teach them by example. Not "Do as I say, not as I do.", but "Follow me."

My kids saw me open the door for my wife to help her in and out of our car. They saw me offer my wife my hand in assistance. They heard me tell my wife, "I love you." even when she wasn't around. My kids saw me give my wife flowers, and love-you cards and they heard my wife read my love poems. One of my proudest moments was when one of my daughters came home from a date and when I asked her if she had fun, she said it was fun, but she wasn't going to date him again because he didn't treat her like a lady.

My wife and I assigned each of our kids chores to do and made sure they did them. That teaches them responsibility and what it means to be part of a family. We have 8 kids. We divided the chores/jobs into 7 groups. We arranged the jobs from easiest to most difficult or least desireable. We had the kids do the jobs one week at a time from easiest to most difficult and do the jobs fo a week. After one week, we rotated the jobs and everyone moved up one job group. After they had the hardest job week, their next week was "vacation". The requirement was that they complete the jobs assigned before they could move up. The hardest job or least desireable job was washing dishes. On Sunday night if all the dishes weren't washed the dishwasher had to keep the dishwasher job until all the dishes were done. I had one child that tried to put me to the test and he refused to wash his dishes. I went out and bought more plates, cups, etc so we would have clean dishes to eat off of. He finally got his show on the road and ended up doing 2 & 1/2 weeks worth of dishes and completely missed his "vacation" week.

This is a story that read in a book of historical fiction. The father and his oldest son were building a bench around a large oak tree in their back yard. They wanted a bench to enjoy the shade and the yard. When they were done working on it one day, the father was extremely frustrated with the slow progress because of the "help" he was receiving from his inexperienced son. He explained his frustration to his wife. She wisely said, "Do you think you're building a bench? You're not. You are really building a man." So true.

"There is no success that can compensate for a failure in the home." The time you spend with your kids will be well worth it in the long run. No daycare worker, even if they weren't paid minimum wage, will ever care as much about your kids as you do. Quality time is important, but so is the quantity of time. 1 ounce of filet mignon is nice, but not as nice a a whole whopper, even though they may cost the same. Your children are much better off with you teaching them and loving them, especially in their first 4 years, than they are with any daycare.

Sorry to have written so much, but I feel strongly that America needs more strong families and good citizens. And fewer divorces. I heard some one say, "The chief cause of divorce is selfishness." Too true. Too true.

Good luck to you and yours.

You are doing EVERYTHING right-just keep doing it! Kids love to spend time with us-even if that means time spent learning.
One piece of advice I will offer as your kids get older-DO NOT over schedule them! As much as I said that I would not-we are now the typical overscheduled family and I hate it. The thing is-it wasn't bad with 1 child in activities-but now I have 2 in them and we are running literally every night between soccer, scouts, and CCD. Its not even that much really but with two kids it is because their practices are on different nights. What I am losing with this is the time that I can sit down and take their school lessons to the next step-I have found this is a great way to teach b/c the schools really do seem to focus on the middle. My children are capable of delving deeper into their subjects so that is what I *try* to do with them.

One thing my family did growing up was always make a point to incorporate the things we were doing in school with our lives. For example, I grew up in Texas and if we were studying the Alamo and the missions in school, my family would plan a trip down to San Antonio so we could see it in person, etc. If there was an exhibit at the science museum that went along with our school, we always went. Mom also always read the books we read in school so we could talk with her about them. My little ones are 2 and 3 so I don't have any advice for you on what I do, but those two things really stuck out to me from my childhood.