First Time Mom Needs Help W Setting Schedule for 4 Month Old

These sample scheduled helped me a lot!!

http://www.babycenter.com/0_sample-baby-schedules-for-3-a...

We have ALWAYS had a bedtime of 8 or 8:30, but it depends on when you need him to get up in the morning. We bathed about every other or 3rd day. I never wake a sleeping baby unless absolutely necessary. He knows how much sleep he needs.

Hope that helps!

Don't use Babywise. The guy who wrote it is a self-proclaimed "expert" yet has no background in pediatrics or child development. There are stories all over the place about babies being diagnosed as Failure to Thrive because of his scheduled feedings.
At 4 months, a baby's naps don't affect night time sleep. Sleeping more during the day won't keep him up at night, so let him sleep AS MUCH as he wants. Don't limit naps until he's showing signs of needing just one nap. If you have a routine set up around his cues, that's all you need. It sounds like it's working for you.
My older son has extremely sensitive skin and eczema, so we only do a bath once or twice a week unless he's gotten sweaty or dirty one day. The pediatrician told us that was enough.

Really, if things are working as is, then stick with it. Things change all the time and as soon as you think you know what to expect, it will change again. Don't believe everything you read. If you have trouble, pick up a book, but as long as he is doing well, just stick with it. If he seems to need to go to bed early one night, go for it. They sleep more during growth spurts, so you may go through a week or two where he sleeps extra and needs to go to bed early. But once he's past it, he'll fall back into a later schedule. Or he won't and you'll get lots of alone time with hubby for a couple months :)

I tried too to get my son on a schedule, and honestly all it did was make me CRAZY and miserable! If you have a good nighttime routine down, I'd say you're on step ahead of the game. Despite what all the "experts" say, some babies just don't fall into schedules. My son is almost 2, and while things are much much better then they were, he's not on an exact schedule. His bedtimes ranges in an hour span, as well as naps, and when he gets up. You're doing the right thing. Follow his cues, and go from there and enjoy your baby. Don't make yourself (or him) nuts trying to stick to a time chart of when he should be doing what. He knows what he needs, and you're giving it to him, so good job and keep it up! Things will work themselves out as his needs change!

I believe you should listen to your baby's needs. i read also many things and what i know is you should put him to sleep when his sleepy (not exhausted with his eyes closing). he should set his own schedule (you of course can move everything a while later, earlier - but don't do it so drastically, only step by step, a half an hour later for few days, and then the next half an hour). 8:30 is not that late i think. my baby daughter goes to sleep even around 10 pm. but keep it under control, cause if he sleeps really long for a nap then bedtime will be changed! normally babys this age need 3 naps a day but each baby is different. the most important thing is that if he's happy - smiling , playing - it means that you do it just fine!

good luck

Sounds like you are doing just fine. If 8:00 - 8:30 is what you can do given your schedule then don't worry about it. I used to do 8:00 but if he is ready at 7:30 and you can make it work why not. The only problem is if going down early causes him to wake up way too early. I would just be consistent and stick with the routine, this will help as he gets older. He will know that 8:00 is bedtime,meaning I get in my bed and stay there.

Keep doing what you are doing.

If what you're doing now works for you, I wouldn't change a thing. My three kids tended to fall into a schedule on their own right around 6 months. They developed some routines sooner than that, but they changed more often. The "schedule" they set at 6 months seemed to stick around a little longer before changing again around 9 months and again around a year.

My husband doesn't get home from work until 6 or 6:30, so we usually wait for him to eat dinner and don't start baths (if it's a bath night) until 7 or 7:30. My three are now 2, 5, and 6, so we read stories from 8-8:30, and it's lights out at 9pm. When they were babies, they often wouldn't fall asleep until 9 or 10pm. Granted, we had the luxury of sleeping in until 7 or 8am since I'm a stay-at-home mom, but it worked for us.

I also never wake a sleeping baby. At this age, it's best to go with the flow as much as possible. You can go ahead and set a loose bedtime, but that may be bumped earlier or later on the days that he didn't nap well or napped extra-long.

I'm a schedule/routine person, too, but it's so much easier to wait for baby to settle into his own schedule than to force one on him. A pattern will emerge soon enough.

I never had a set schedule for my daughter. Ever, really. We just went with the flow. She is now 2 and goes down for a nap and bedtime 95% of the time without a fuss. In my opinion I would not stress over a schedule and just let the schedule find you I guess. You sound like me, I'm not a schedule person and everything has worked out fine for us.

We give our daughter a bath every other night, and like I said she is 2. I think it just depends on how dirty your son is getting at daycare. I think at 4 mths old he's not going to be taken outside to play in the dirt and such and that every other night is just fine.

As far as napping longer than normal, if my daughter naps longer than normal I still put her to bed at the same time every night. I guess where that is concerned I've set a schedule. Even if he lies in his crib awake for a little while before he falls asleep he's still learning that it's bedtime and I need to go to sleep. I don't think 8-8:30 even 9 is too late for him. At that age he is probably still getting up during the night to eat possibly?

As far as finding your schedule, try a different one for a few days if it works, great if not, try something else.

Hope all my rambling helps! Good luck!

It sounds like you are doing fine. Forgive me if repeat something, I have not read all the responses. I think it is best to get the cues from the baby. (I too was never much of a schedule person, but I wasn't working fulltime then.) You know him best.

Bathing--when he gets dirty. You take care of his bottom at diaper time, his face can get washed every day (more often when he starts solids--lol--WAY more often!), when his hair looks greasy, it is bath/shampoo time. I think we bathed ours twice a week when they were that age. Of course some babies just love it and you may want to bathe oftener if he likes it, or if you think he needs to get used to it.

If 8 pm works as a bedtime, great!! If he seems to need an earlier one, then try an earlier one.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" Enjoy your little one, he will be grown before you know it!

K. Z.

The book On Becoming Babywise is such an excellent book for schedules. I used it with both of my kids and it works wonders. It is a schedule for sleeping, feeding, and waketime. I wish you the best!

Despite what you've read, at four months, I think that you are using your common sense and doing what fits your schedule and your baby's needs.
And that is what it is all about. He does not need a bath every single night by any means....so keep up the good work and enjoy him from the time you get home until his bedtime!
And don't forget that whatever you are doing today is subject to change at any moment as he grows and changes.

If it's working for your family to just go with the flow, keep doing it! We NEVER had a schedule for our kids.

We followed their cues. I also don't agree with waking a baby just because it's "time" to play or eat...... They'll let you know if they need something else.

As for bedtime. Our kids always went down later. We farm and my husband doesn't get in the house till 7:30 or 8 (sometimes later) and he likes to play with the kids and spend some time with them when he gets in. Of course, when they were babies, there were times that they would be tired and go to bed earlier but we never pushed a "bedtime".

Please don't limit or restrict his sleep. He is only four months old and 1) needs his sleep and 2) is going to be all over the place with his age.
Both of mine at that age would frequently fall asleep on the way home or shortly after getting home from daycare and take an extra nap,and then actually go to bed between 8 and 9. When they were a little older they dropped that evening nap and then went to bed earlier. Forcing him to stay up will only make him overtired, cranky, and have more difficulty sleeping later.

I know it absolutely SUCKS that they go to bed so early when you work full time. In my case, I leave for work before the kids get up in the morning, so after they go to bed I don't see them till the next evening, and I hate that. (They are now 4 and 1.) But I hope to reassure you that I had the same feelings about putting my first baby to bed so early and working FT, because I was afraid he wouldn't be as bonded to me. But he LOVES his mama. Your baby will grow up to know you and love you and be bonded to you. But right now, he needs his sleep to grow and be healthy.

Hugs to you. The FT gig stinks when you have little babies.

L.

I would check out Babywise. You don't have to do everything in there, but they have great schedule advise. Eat, Play, Sleep, about every three - four hours or so. I think that they recommend naps between 1.5 - 2.5 hours (helps them not confuse night time.

You can fit the bedtime into your schedule as you need too. As a working mom, I HATE the early bedtimes, but my son does now need it. Is your son sleeping through the night? If not, then having the bedtime later isn't such a bad thing. As he sleeps through, you can move it earlier and earlier until he gets his 12 hours.

As far as a bath, I think at that age, I was bathing only once a week. Even now at 22 months, I only do about twice a week.

For the earlier bedtime, do what you think is right. Is he sleeping through the till the normal morning time when you put him down early? If so, then he may need it.

It takes a lot of work to get a schedule going. Feel free to contact me if you need a suggested schedule, as my son has been on one since he was born....I LOVE it, and he thrives on it.

Sorrry you had to go back to full time work out of home, that is so hard. I only had to do part time when my babies were little.
Schedules are nice, particularly when you work, but so many things change the schedule that are out of your control.
Don't let the books or well meaning "experienced " moms override your own feelings and common sense. You know your child better than anyone.
I always bathed my kids every day when they were in diapers and and then when they got a little older went to every other day unless they were playing outside or it was hot and they were sweaty. That bathtime is a good time to bond and it usually helps them settle down for sleep too. But if you go somewhere and come home late, they will not die from skipping a bath.

If he is in day care with other kids, his schedule will vary there depending on the other kids, so you will have to be flexible and take your cues from him.

One other thing...don't worry if when you go to pick him up from daycare he seems to not care to see you. I remember feeling so badly because my kids would not want to come home with me after being with the sitter all day. It is just a transition thing and it is normal.

Don't let anyone tell you you are spoiling your child! Love him and spend as much time as you have with him! They grow up so fast! Mine are teenagers now and talking about driving!

Blessings,
L.