Bedtime at 8:00Pm????? HELP!

I agree with you. My husband is the same way, wanting the kids to go to bed earlier than I do. I say that since I stay with them more often than he does then I should decide how I want them to sleep and wake! It's nice to have an interested husband, but it can be frustrating when he doesn't empathize with us! Good luck, hang in there.

I say do what ever works for you , since you are the one who has to get up. I believe that kids should go to bed by 8 too but maybe wait till the baby sleeps through the night all the way first. Read sleeping throught he night, great paper back book and easy read. Good luck, getting sleep is my number one thing after having a baby. Sleep is so underrated for moms right?

That's silly in my mind- what about babies who get days and nights mixed up? They don't need sleep at 8. If your child can go to bed at 10 and be rested at 4 then by all means do that. Wouldn't your husband mind that you will need to go to bed at 8 if your baby does? My daughter went to bed at 11 for along time because I couldn't face the clock before 5. As she got older (12 months she FINALLY slept 10-12 hours straight and THAT was when we started putting her to bed between 8:30 and 9:30 at night (depending on when she woke up from the last nap). If we put her to bed at 8 then my husband doesn't get to see her enough after he gets home from work and quality time is far more important than an early bed time.

Maybe you should take turns getting up with the baby. Maybe he will change his tune....

YES go with the 10pm schedule. I agree - you are the one dealing with him during the day so you need your restful night sleep. 10pm bedtime is COMPLETELY normal for a 2-month old. I have 4 kids and that is what they all did at that age too. In a few months it will be moved up an hour, then a few more months, up another hour. Tell your husband that the baby has plenty of time to get regulated. The important thing is sleep quantity. The only "timeclock" that needs to be worried about is yours. A happy mommy = a happy baby. Good Luck! Oh, one last thing, try not to change his diaper in the middle of the night unless really necessary - it will wake him up more.

K., I am going to assume that your husband works. And if he does, then I will have to agree with you. I am a 42 year old mom of a soon to be 4 year old. My husband worked out of state the first year of our daughter's life so I was the one that took care of her. At 8pm every night starting when she was two months old, I would give her a bath, read her a book, nurse her, and put her to bed anywhere between 9:30pm and 10pm. I have never heard of a child having an "internal clock" before, but if I were you, since I was the one being the main caregiver of my child, *I* was the one that needed to be well rested. Since my child didn't sleep through the night until she was close to 18 months, I stuck with my routine. Every night when 8pm hit, I bathed, read, nursed/bottled her, and put her down around 9:30 to 10pm. I can vouch for the early times, though it seemed no matter how late I would put my child down, she went through a phase of awaking at 4am. So I know what it is like.

Good luck and I would try to explain to your husband, if mamma ain't happy, no one is happy! :-)

C.

When my daughter was that age, a very short 8 months ago, she was going to bed around 9:30 or 10:00 every night. Now, at 10 months old, she goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 every night and sleeps for 11 to 12 hours with no problem. I see no problem with putting your son down at that time so you can get a little more rest. You're lucky he's sleeping that long at that age. I couldn't get that much rest until my DD was about 5 months old. Take it when you can get it and tell your husband that unless he's willing to get up with your son at 3:00am, then you are putting him to bed later. Good luck!!

at that age, our son would go to bed b/t 10p-11p. We worked it out where I would go to bed around 9am, hubby would stay up and put our son down around 10pm. That way, I would get a head start on sleep and be better rested when our son woke up around 4am. To compensate, I got up first in the morning to get ready for work. I would feed our son, change him, etc, and then lay him down with dad. It all worked out. Once they sleep longer stretches, your son will get a normal bedtime. our son's bedtime was 7pm until he reached 2 years old and now it's 8pm.

BTW, you need to disconnect the doorbell, turn off the phone, and find some soothing music to block out noisy neighbors... You gotta get your sleep!

At around the same age, I started using a technique called a "dream feed" with my daughter to help all of us avoid being awake in the wee hours of the morning. I would get her up around 10 or 11 and very quietly feed her. I've heard moms say they can't imagine why you would wake a sleeping baby, but I've also known and read about lots of moms who use this technique. We gradually moved that feeding earlier and earlier until we were just putting her to bed at 8 or 9 for the night, then finally at 7. I understand your husband's desire to get her in a good sleep pattern, but not being awake at 2 in the morning is a pretty good pattern to develop, too! Plus if it helps you be more well rested and relaxed, you're only going to be a better mom. Good luck!

This is an easy one!!!! If your husband feels so strongly that baby needs to be in bed by 8pm then he can get up with baby at 2am so you can get some more sleep! And then he can feed and change baby and get baby back to sleep and then you can take the next shift when baby wakes up again!! Tada!!! Problem solved!!! ha, ha!!! Believe me, I can totally relate...when my husband does this to me and insists on something for our kids, then I make sure that he is totally involved in it, and not just making suggestions and putting in his two cents about whats best for our babies!!! Who knows, if you have your husband get up with baby at 2am, theres a good chance he will have a change of heart and want to try your idea of 10pm bedtime. Good luck!!!!

if it helps, my pediatrician told me to do our baby to bed when we want to go to bed. That way it ensures a well rested mama (since I stay at home). I see your husband's point, but your little one is not ready to sleep long enough so putting the baby to bed at 8 doesn't matter at this point. You have to wait and see when the baby will be able to sleep for longer stretches (i.e. be able to eat more in one feeding). Good luck, and I hope this helps! I had to learn this the hard way. (by making the same mistake myself)

I always put my kids to sleep at 8, woke them up at 10/10:30 for a feeding then went to bed. That way as they got older they were always ready for bed at 8 and in the meantime, I got a couple of hours with my husband alone.

It sounds like your husband may have heard parts of or read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It's very good at explaining the science behind sleep and when/how much sleep a baby needs. After I read it I started to watch my baby for the things the book described and realized that she needed to go to bed earlier than I was putting her to bed. Since she was 6 weeks old I've put her to bed at 7:00. Now, (6 months old) she goes to bed between 6 and 7 p.m. and gets up for the day around 7 a.m. She wakes to nurse once during the night. I do believe in the internal clock argument that your husband has presented, and recommend reading the book mentioned above for the information. I didn't agree with everything it said, and as another person said you can't go by what each book tells you to do, but it really was great for helping me understand the need for sleep and why the times (early bedtimes) are so appropriate for babies!

J.

It took me reading 20 books to realize that every baby is different and to do what works for you. With that said - I would recommend trying to put the baby down earlier for a few nights to see what happens. He might wake up at 2 and he might not! We started putting our 2 month old to bed at 7 pm and I thought it was going to be a train wreck but he has been sleeping from 7 to 6 ever since (he is 5 months now) with waking up only once or twice (and now never!!!! Yahhhhhh!). It doesn't hurt to try for a few nights. And putting the baby to bed earlier gives you more quality time with that wonderful hubby that you said you have. :) Best of luck!

My advice is to do what works for ALL of you right now. If that means he goes to bed a little later, but you get more rest -- then do it. If he sleeps longer going to bed early, then that's the way to go. He'll adapt easier than you will most likely.

I dont' think there's a hard and fast rule on this other than do what you have to to get some sleep. I beleive that babies have their own internal clock, but not necessarily one you can program. I found we did a lot better following our son's cues re sleep. Yeah, we did some things others wouldn't have. But you know what? We got more sleep that way. The fact that you're little guy is getting 6 hours this early is great -- take advanatage of it while you can. You might also check out the book -- No cry sleep solution. It has a lot of information regarding infants and sleep. Good luck and congratulations on your little one!

They do have an internal clock, and you help them set it for Day/Night time, not a particular time. They sleep so much, it's really your sanity you need to go with. If he's falling asleep later (as mine also did), that's his routine. It will change, believe me.

Daddy may wish him to be scheduled, and you can work towards that, but 'welcome to the real world' - it isn't always so (LOL!). Besides, like you said, 10pm gets him sleeping for almost a normal night routine, so that's better than waking up all the way at 3 (for everyone!). And he's only 2 months old, so a general routine is as good as it gets.

Check out "what to expect, the first year" for helpful info.

Good luck!

All babies are different, but what worked for us with both kids is indeed what your DH said (as well as our pediatrician). At their 2 month b-days we put them into their own rooms and to sleep at 8pm. We keep a strict routine and schedule which we feel is very important. Bath at 7, then feed and down to sleep. My husband was very supportive and we alternated that 3 am feed. I breastfeed, but I pumped every two days so he could share the work. Within two weeks, my kids were both sleeping till 7 or 8 the next morning. My daughter also has GERD so I know how difficult that can be. Good luck.

How many babies has your husband raised? He is not the one losing the sleep, you are. To get to skipping a 2am feeding the baby should go down around 10 or 11. Then graduate to going down at 8 and sleeping till about 6. Tell your hubby to get up at 2:30 am and let you sleep then !!

You are absolutely right!!! We put our 1 1/2 month old daughter down for the nite at 10p just so she only wakes up once during the night to feed.

Explain to your husband that a "bedtime" only is necessary when a child is sleeping the whole nite through. That's why an early bedtime is important for children and much older babies. It's so they can get the 12 hours or so of sleep they need in one setting. But babies as young as ours don't sleep for that length of time and they make it up in all the deep sleeps and cat naps they take in a 24 hour period.

Stand your ground....your sleep is important to your happiness and sanity. :-) Plus, a well rested Mommy is good for the whole family!

I sincerely believe the mommy's health and well-being has a bigger impact on the baby/family than a two hour time difference on bedtimes. Every child I know has a different bedtime. I say put the baby down at 10 pm.Good luck!

I have twins and they had similar issues. I ended up letting them stay up later so that I would be able to sleep. They now always stay up until 9;30 or ten, including the 4 yr old twins and the almost 2 yr old twins. I don't know if it is because they all had an internal clock that naturally is set at ten, or if your husband is right. Frankly, if I did get then to sleep at 8, they would wake at ten or so and stay awake until midnight or later. I tended to go with what seemed natural for my children. Maybe I am wrong, since now all my children go to bed later. But then, that's the way I was and many of my nieces are the same way; so maybe it's a genetic thing.

But this advice I would give you: turn off the doorbell, leave a note on the door "do not disturb," and politely explain to friends and neighbors that you need your sleep right now - you must take hold of your family environment. Believe me all the friends and neighbors will disappear by 4 months when it is not new any more. Get yourself a pair of ear plugs if neighbor noises are keeping you up, or train yourself to sleep with noise - you need your sleep and you need to sleep when the baby sleeps. good luck!

Hello:

If you are the one getting up with the baby all hours of the night then you should determine the bedtime. No baby at that young age has an internal clock. What does your pedi say? They could give you the best advice. Husbands,amazing or not should not determine or force any sleep issues at this age!!!
Stay strong and put the baby to sleep when YOU feel is an appropriate time!!!!

K.,

I have to say your husband is right. You should put him down at 8:00 and then wake him back up at 10:00 to eat. He will barely wake up just to eat. Then lay him back down. You need to get the Babywise book. It is awesome and it gives you instructions on a schedule for eating and sleeping. This will help "program" him. He will be sleeping through the night before you know it. I used it for both my boys and they are awesome sleepers, nappers and eaters.

It's real simple. If your husband insists that your baby needs to goes to bed at 8, let him get up with him the at night. If you are breastfeeding, pump and make a bottle. When my daughter was an infant until she went to kinder I let her stay up with us until 9, when I went off to bed. I let Dad put her to bed, and then I got up with her when she woke up in the middle of the night. As she got older, she slept longer and longer until her usual habit was to sleep from around 9:30 until 9 in the morning. I would just change her and take her off to day care. Many times she would sleep through the change and drive to day care. Her schedule adjusted to ours and she wound up beginning by sleeping in the morning and taking long naps at day care and would be up with us when we were home. It worked well for us. My daughter is now 18, smart, healthy and happy and off to A&M in the fall. She has a regular sleep schedule now, just like the adult she is.

A note: you're incredibly lucky! Most babies don't sleep for such a stretch until much later :) Once your baby begins solids (at the earliest 6 months), he/she will probably sleep much better through the night and OVER TIME you can wean your babe from that midnight feeding.

I side with your husband on this one. It's really important to get time alone for you two so you can keep your relationship healthy.

I love this site: http://www.askdrsears.com They have a WEALTH of resources on new baby development and strategies. It worked beautifully for us.

Hope that helps!

My opinion is to put the baby to bed at 10 pm. As your baby sleeps longer then put him to bed earlier. The later in the morning he wakes up the more efficient it is to teach him that night time is for sleeping. Hope this helps.

When my baby was 2 months, I did the same thing. 10pm=bedtime. Then, when she began sleeping for longer spurts, I laid her down earlier and earlier. Now she is almost 7 months old and goes down at 8:30pm and sleeps until 8 or 9am!! I say, do what is easiest for YOU! If your husband isn't the one getting up with the baby, then it's all on you to decide what's best for your sanity! :)
Good luck. And you are blessed to have a good, concerned husband. Just dont let him get TOO concerned. lol!

Any time your husband says "all babies," he is wrong. Each child is unique. Use your instincts. I have always put my babies down at 9 pm. They tend to naturally wake at 6 a.m., which worked out great. My pediatrician was aware of this and felt my kids got plenty of sleep.
As your kid gets older you can always train him to get to bed a bit earlier, if it fits your schedule.

K.,

Oh my. Your baby is ONLY 2 months old. Please tell your husband that your baby has PLENTY of time to program his "internal clock." Right now, your sanity comes first. I have a 2 and a half week old baby right now, and sleep deprivation is brutal, as we both know. Unfortunately, your husband doesn't know this. Tell him that HE can feed and diaper your son son at 2:00 in the morning, and watch how quickly he changes his argument. Or, he will say, "I can't do that. I need my sleep to go to work the next day." And then your rebuttal will be, "You don't say! So do I! My job is to care for our precious son, and I can't do that on no sleep, just like you can't go to work on no sleep!" Watch how quickly he shuts up! Or, you can also say, "Okay, I'll put the baby down at 8:00 p.m., and I will also be looking to hire a night nurse for the 2 a.m. feeding and diaper change." Again, watch how quickly your husband dances to a new tune, since a night nurse would be very expensive. Go ahead and put your baby down at 10:00 p.m. for as long as you need to do that! After all, YOU are the primary caregiver, so your husband doesn't have a leg to stand on (in my opinion). Tell your husband that your baby's internal clock will be just fine.

Hi K..
I'd be putting the baby down at 10, so I could get a good night's rest. He's very young and as he gets older and sleeps longer, you'll be able to put him down earlier and earlier. Eventually, he'll be going to bed at 8. And you are trying to regulate the baby's schedule now and adjust it to fit your sleep cycle. Good self care is the best thing you can do for yourself, your child, and your husband.
B