First Grader Having Dicipline Problems

Updated on October 16, 2007
J.F. asks from Oregon, OH
4 answers

My daughter has always been an excellent child. Good grades, polite, and she is in the gifted enrichment program at her school.Over the last 1 1/2 years, she has had some depression issues that we are working with a counselor on a regular basis, so I don't think that plays a major role in this issue. She never had any problems as far as bahavior is concerned in Kindergarten. She has been in first grade for about a month now, and has had THREE yellow lights already, two of them were this week!! We have threatened in the past that if it happens again that she will go to bed without her tv on (bad mom.. tv @ bedtime I know). When she came home with her third yellow light today, not only did I tell her that she has lost her tv for tonight, but I also sat down and explained to her how talking and being disruptive in class is rude and disrespectful to her teacher and fellow classmates. After our talk, I wrote on a piece of paper "I will not be disrespectful." and told her to number her paper 1-25 and write the sentence 25 times. I also explained that if this happens again, she will have to write it 50 times along with whatever other punishment her father and I come up with.

I guess I'm looking to see if anyone else has this problem with their otherwise well behaved and well manered child. And what do you do about it?

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K.N.

answers from Cleveland on

my first grade son was the same way last year, and it was so hard cause for me it was almost cute, he'd raise his hand and interupt the lesson to ask the teacher if he could throw something away or to tell her trash was on the floor or something else just as inappropriate but at the same time helpful. he got more yellow days tahn green but all in all did really well. i guess you need to really look at what she is doing and why, and how bad is yellow? here it's green, yellow, orange, red, so yellow makes me wonder but i don't complain to much since green is a perfect day and how many of us really have those. so put it into perspective a little and talk to her and see why she is being disruptive, is she falling behind because she's in gifted classes, is she still bored, ect. chances are she'll settle back down. and your punishements are wonderful, i like sentances. lol.

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W.S.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi J.! I had the same problem apparently when I was in first grade--my Mom said I was talking all the time and getting in trouble. Turned out I was BORED, and once the teacher started giving me extra work the problem resolved (this is during the regular class, not going out to an enrichment program).
I honestly wouldn't think that writing 25 sentences would do anything; in first grade they are thinking more "in the moment" and can't think ahead like that (and remember "oh if I talk now I will have to write sentences tonight). Not saying she shouldn't be disciplined but it has to be at the moment, and it should be a "natural consequence" as much as possible (like making her sit off by herself). But the bottom line is, she's not purposefully doing it, really--as you said, she is a good kid really. It's just a self control thing, and she is still pretty young in my book. Maybe you could come up with an alternative action for her to do when she's bored and wants to talk, and maybe put a big smiley face on her desk which is saying "shhhh" to remind her? Things like that...
I am not a big fan of mass education because of this very thing! It is geared toward the "average" child.
Blessings,
Lynn

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S.R.

answers from Toledo on

HI J.. Your received some great responses so far. I also wonder if your daughter has a personal problem with the teacher? If she doesn't like the teacher or feels like maybe the teacher did something wrong; that could be the sourse for her mis-behaivor. Just a thought, I know my son didn't like his kindergarten teacher and refused to write his name on his papers. Children can have a very creative way of telling us some things. Best of luck!

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B.G.

answers from Cleveland on

Is there a new set of friends in her 1st grade class? My daughter had the opposite problem. In Kindergarten, the girls she sat near were the problem. They'd talk to her and she'd talk back and they'd both get in trouble. Most of the time, when she went on yellow, the other girl was involved. Maybe ask the teacher if she can move her seat and see if that helps. Maybe she's nervous about the coursework as well and the additional pressure. My daughter almost had a nervous breakdown the week before 1st grade because she was told how hard 1st grade was and there was no fun time. There is definitely more work and more responsibility on them in 1st grade. Maybe try spending some one-on-one time with her - take her to a movie or a park or some other fun activity. Good luck!

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