Finding the Right Daycare

Hi J.,
It is very difficult to leave your child/children in someone else’s care. Sometimes, I think it’s tougher for moms than for the kids. I’m currently on maternity leave. However, I will have to put both of my kids in daycare in two months. Even though, I’m familiar with my daycare (it’s a home daycare) and I absolutely love the daycare provider, I’m still anxious about leaving my kids with someone who is not me, mainly b/c I don’t want someone else raising my children (but that’s my issue to resolve ). You mentioned that you felt “uneasy” when you dropped your daughter off. What makes you feel uneasy? Are you concerned about her safety, emotional wellbeing, etc.? If you can’t put a finger on it, I would suggest a couple of “unannounced” visits from you. Drop by the daycare when they are not expecting you. You’ll be able to get an authentic feel of the place for what goes on when you’re not around. I did that a couple of times with my daycare and it helped me to see that my son was well loved and well taken care of. Even though, I still dreaded being apart from him, it helped ease my mind to know that he was in capable hands of someone who truly cared for him. If after your “visits” you are still uneasy, find another daycare—by then you should go with your instincts. As far as the pros and cons of home daycare versus regular daycare—it’s more of a preferential choice. I prefer home daycare, b/c of the low child/teacher ratio and the homey atmosphere. When I was working, it was my son’s home away from home. He always asked to go visit Miss K., even now when I’ve been home for a year we still visit. As far as making the transition easier on you? Time, I guess. It will never be easy to drop your daughter off, but it will get easier. (I keep telling myself that as well ) Good luck.

When my first was born, we thought we were going to go the nanny route, and then I realized that I didn't want to leave a baby alone with someone other than me. When I was first looking around at daycares, I called my husband crying from a parking lot because it just was so awful. However, then I found the center that now both of my children are in, and I never looked back. I didn't look at home daycares just for the reason I didn't ultimately feel comfortable with a nanny - not enough back up. However, the most important thing is that you feel that your kid is going to be safe, emotionally, physically, etc. If you really believe that, drop off will get easier.

And, she'll have a great time. (My daughter went through a phase when she was about 2.5 where she cried on Saturday and Sunday mornings because she so wanted to go to school). Now that I've done it, I'm so happy she went to a center because she's had so many great interactions with other kids and adults.

As for not getting sick - good luck. She'll probably be sick all the time. Still, it's either now or later. My daughter was sick all the time that first year, but is almost never sick now.

This is no doubt much harder on you than it is on her. Just trust your gut and know that you're a great mom and your daughter will have a great role model of a working mother!

Where do you live/work or where are you looking for a daycare in what towns?

I find putting my child in daycare to be very difficult and it just tore my heart up to do it the first time I had to. But, it was because I wanted to be with him. He has thrived in daycare and loves his time there and there is absolutely nothing to worry about when sending your child to daycare. It is the parenting that is the biggest influence in your child's life.
I have been in a home daycare and a center. I think that home daycares are very good for babies because they get more attention as there can only be 2 under 2 at a home daycare and at a center there is 4 babies for every adult. I think home daycares are calmer as there are less children, etc. THat said, it is very hard to find a home daycare that you can trust completely. I have only gone to a home daycare where the owner was someone that I knew already. My son went to a center that was awesome from 8 months to 16 months. But it was very expensive and he did get sick all of the time. As he became a toddler I absolutely loved him in a center. It is great for them to be in a room with other kids their age, and their day is geared to their age group. There is also a lot of structure at a daycare center, and less so at a home daycare. Also, there is television at home daycares...
Ultimately, I would say go with your gut. And if it feels wrong, you can always change to another situation.