Concerned About Sending 8 Month Old to Daycare - Need Advice

Hi L.,
Believe me, I understand your fears and concerns... I had no choice to put my son in daycare (in someone else's home) when he was 13 weeks old. It about broke my heart! But, after those first few days, I realized I had made the best decision possible. My son will now be 1 in a few weeks and he has stayed in the same daycare. He is happy when I drop him off and happy when I pick him up. Even though babies can't "tell" you if they are being well taken care of, you can usually tell. Just remember to go with your Mommy instinct (there is nothing better). My son has been thriving, and in the process, I actually became good friends with the daycare provider. She treats all of the kids as she would her own (who are one of the most polite 16 yr old boys and sweet 6 & 4 year old girls, now with one more on the way!)

I know this can be very scary, but I did have a psychiatrist tell me recently that the research is now showing that daycare is good for babies. They learn how to become attached and trust other people (besides their parents) My son gladly goes to Ms. Mona (which I will admit, hurt some at first) but then I realized that I had made a good decision and that he trusted her so I should too.

I hope this helped some! Good luck and just know you know what is right for your baby!

Hello! My name is J.. I am a mother of 3. I have an in-home daycare in the Spotsylvania/surrounding areas. I do not know where you all are located, but if your close, then maybe this will work for you and me. I have openings for fulltime/parttime, summerttime, drop-ins, last min notices, and emergencies. i do not charge the parents for the days that your baby is not here with me. I have GREAT REFERENCES AND GREAT RATES!! I will tell you, that I will beat your nanny, that you have right now, I am cheaper than a "regular daycare" would be. I have a small group, and I know that your baby will get the attention that he deserves. Please email me at ____@____.com or message me back at ____@____.com and let me know if your interested, I have a few openings left.

Thanks J.

Hi L.,
Where do you live? I live in the Woodbridge,VA area. My son attended Children of America - Prince William campus. Its off of Minnieville Rd. I was very happy with this daycare overall. It is an Educational Learning center. They taught him his letters, numbers, etc. My son has food allergies. The center is a nut-free zone which was great. They have a playroom inside the building so that the kids still get exercise even if they can't go outside.

The best part for me was that they have cameras in every part of the building. They also have a program, that costs extra, wherein you can use the Internet and see your child at the daycare. There is a large system in the director's office. If you ever have a question about an incident they can review the videotape.

There are several Children of America centers in the Northern Va area. Their website is www.childrenofamerica.com

M.

I've done childcare most my life there are pluses and mines to childcare centers and in home childcare or In your home childcare.
You should compare a few things. First instead of looking for a nanny you should have looked for At your Home childcare when you say "Nanny" the price goes up....lol I'm not sure why but even if you are using them like a babysitter you are paying for a nanny. A Nanny is someone who lives in your house and takes care of the children. Gets up with them in the morning and puts them down at night. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner All day. 5 days a week. $200 or $300 a week.
A In your home Babysitter or childcare comes when you want them and leaves when you don't. Normally set hours and you pay for ONLY these hours. Norm about $5 an hour.
Childcare at a providers home is a set amount of hours set pay. You bring them at a certain time and pick them up at a certain time. But it can be flexible but you pay for the flexibility. Normally about $80-$125 a week.
Childcare Centers are just about the same but you pay more for the flexibility. Normally by the hour about $10 an hour for the extra hours. But if you bring them at the normal time and pick up it's normally about the same as In their home childcare.

The only difference between the childcare center and in the providers home is the setting. I prefer to have my children in a home setting. I like them to set at at table to each breakfast lunch and dinner. I like them to have a bed and maybe even a room to themselves and nap time. I don't mind one or two kids in the same room but not a large room with light and many children. In childcare centers they tend to not hold so much.
The Center does have it's benefits. If you have a child who is very active it might be better in a center or you are having nap problems. Sometimes a center is better they have rules they go by so your child is more likely to get the nap where as a provider might not give it if there is too much of a fight. Most Centers don't provide meals you bring the meal. where as most in home providers do provide meals. (Nanny's don't provide anything)Childcare centers have pretty set prices since they are compeating with other centers as providers in their home have different prices depending on how much they provide
In my opinion I might be easies to get a At your house babysitter and have set hours during the day and see what they charge. Most are about $100 a week for 40hrs- 45hrs.

So it all depends on your pref.
Good luck

You are not being unreasonable! I am the mother of six grown children and 11 grandchildren, I know exactly how you feel. I am also an experienced daycare provider with excellent references, I have an open door policy. My moms are welcome to drop in at anytime. I am a Christian woman and I feel I have someone to answer to besides the parent of a child. I love children and would care for them for free if that were possible. I am currently caring for two girls full time, ages three months and 20 months (sisters). I also have a few drop in children once a week. I am looking for one more full time child. Please contact me, you will not be sorry! ____@____.com

I just wanted to say I understand your frustration and fears. I am also going through a similar situation right now. I have been a stay-at-home Mom with my son for his first 7 months of life now and I'm uneasy about putting him in someone else's care. These responses have helped me a little too.
But I also wanted to say that it has been more difficult than we thought to find any place who has an infant opening. I've found most of them have waiting lists that are quite long. I'm thinking of trying the at home babysitter option next. We are still looking though, and I wish you luck!

ok lydia. i first read the other responses before posting mine. the lady mentioning children of america. . . i don't know anything about that specific center but the internet log in to see your child during the day sounds great. i have searched high and low for a place like that in MD (no luck). so that is an option for you.

the part about child being or not being able to tell you if something happened. no, kids younger than 4 (or at least 3) will not be able to tell you anything. reason being, even if they cry during drop off most of the time parents rule that out as don't want to be away from parents. in most cases that is true, not always. also young children have a very short memory. even with communication skills at 2 or early 3s they still might forget what happened during the day. mine are almost 4 and just now have they started telling me about their day.
in home daycare...sending your child to someone else's house. a few things about this. for one reason or another i have been opposed to this always. would never even consider sending my kids to someone else's house. i will just mention a few of my reasons as to why not: children of different ages being together. . .how does that work? if you have a 3 year old and a child less than one year old, how will the provider organize the day for them? how about if there is a 4 year old, a 3 year old and a 2 year old? interests are completely different. she might rotate activities between different age groups, which would only mean at one point or another, one child or two or three is getting bored or frustrated. not a fun way to spend the day.

ok, i gave you all the negatives about putting your young child anywhere at this point.
so let me tell you what i did. i work from home, hubby in the office. i have twins. i quit my the then job after their birth and spend the next 15 months taking care of them. at 15 months, i got the job to work from home, i got a friend to come over for a few hrs a day, and i reorganized my working hours. i worked some during the day and a lot after kids went to bed. i did this from 15 months until they turned two. after they turned two i found a very reputable 'daycare' and put my kids in there. got references about the place, toured it about a bazillion times and chose it in the end. they stayed there for a few months. then we moved to MD. after moving here i found a place i thought was great. clean, served hot lunches, etc etc. my kids' attitude changed. they started crying and pitching a fit when i would drop them off. the main teacher would say this is normal although i should have known better. they didn't act that way before. they were very anxious and when i would pick them up they would latch on to my leg like hanging on for their dear life. they were over two and a half years old at this point and still NOT able to say what was wrong.

one day, i gave them a small box of raisins each and said don't open it now we will open it when we get to school. and then the screams started, cry and cry and go on the floor. i finally calmed them down enough to say what was wrong. and one of them said:
"Mrs so and so (the main teacher) said: stop bringing stuff and she yelled at me and she yelled and yelled and yelled). that is what was wrong. it was not normal, it was the teacher was mean. needless to say they were outta there. now they go to another place and they love it. absolutely love it. but they;'re almost 4 and if something is wrong they for sure can tell me.

that said. get a babysitter to come to your house. it will be difficult but in no time he will be 2. then consider taking him somewhere else. most people don't have the options of working from home. you do. i do. make the best of it for you and your child.
good luck

We all have the same worries. We're parents! I have had some bad daycare experiences, and also some really good ones. I have an 18yr old, a 12 yr old, twin 7yr olds and one on the way in July. Believe me I have been there! Your child will be able to let you know if he had a bad or a good day. You will have to let him get used to the routine because it is a big change. The first few days will be tough for you both but you will be able to tell. Go with your gut. Sometimes you have to switch to someone else. Just like anyone else, your son may not like the provider...just as well, he may LOVE her/them. Honestly, it's a trial & error judgement. I wish it were easier, but you always worry.
Good luck!

I too have an 8 month old and she has been going to an "at home" daycare provider since she was 10 weeks old. The woman runs her daycare out of her house and watches 5 children (ages 4 months to 3 years). We LOVE her. We did a lot of research prior to selecting a provider (looked into the nanny option, large daycare, etc.) and found that this situation worked best for us because it combined the one-on-one attention and love while allowing our daughter to socialize with other children. In fact, we have found that being around some of the older children has helped her to advance in many areas because she is constantly watching them and trying to emulate them.

That being said, you have to find the right provider for your family. Sometimes this is a frustrating task and may require trips to multiple facilities, but once you find the right one it is very rewarding. A good way to find someone is by recommendation from folks that you know - that's how it worked for us. It is definitely possible to find a provider who loves the kids as if they were their own and who makes you feel like you are taking your baby to a "home away from home". We did. There are no web cams, but every morning when my daughter enters the door a huge smile comes across her face. And that's enough for me :-)

BTW - I saw a reply to this post with the dollar amount for various childcare options. I'm not sure where you live, but in my area the prices that were quoted in that post are lower than what you will find. Like I said, we looked at various facilities and $250 a week was pretty standard.

Good luck!

It's hard to put your trust into someone else. The only one thing I can say really look into what you are doing and your gut feeling will let you know if you did the right thing! Also you are allowed to show up unannounced once your child starts.

Lydia,
I agree, putting a little one in daycare can be a little scary but once you find the right place your mind will be at ease. I had to pull my baby out of two daycare centers because I was not comfortable with what I saw when I dropped in for surprise visits. I ended up with a wonderful in home daycare center which has fewer children, a homey atmosphere, and the providers have more hands on contact with the children. Get recommendations from friends, drop in for surprise visits and if you feel something just isn't right don't ignore your instincts.

I too work from home, but daughter goes to daycare.

For the most part, people who work at daycare centers do so because they like working with children. They can get the same or more pay elsewhere.

My daughter has been at two daycare centers. I was a little uneasy at the first and moved her to the second. I love her current daycare.

The key is to tour the facility, get familiar with it and then go with your gut. If you trust the place, then go with it. If you don't, then go leave your child in their care.

As a benefit, with my child in care, I get a lot more done in a shorter period of time and I can pick her up sooner.

I just wanted to let you all know about a super awesome nanny I know who is looking for a job. She needs full time but doesn't mind splitting up days with more than 1 family. Her name is Najat Benanssa. She was so great with my 2 kids. She's very motherly, they loved her. She took them outside to play every day, twice a day. She played with them, she sings songs, she is a fun, responsible and nurturing lady. Her references are impeccable too. If you need someone I hope you will give her a call, She is a rare find and anyone who gets her will be very lucky!

Here is her number: Najat Benansa ###-###-####

Thanks, R. Gagnon

Hi L. ~

My thought is this: Do you BOTH absolutely have to have such demanding jobs? Could you sacrifice a little in order for one of you to be able to care for your child? You obviously WANT to keep your child at home with you and that, to me, should be your goal. Perhaps you both could cut back a little and take turns caring for your baby.

My belief is that you take a chance in putting your baby in someone else's care, no matter how well you investigate the situation. No one will love your child as well you can. I stayed home with mine. Did I go without alot of frills? Absolutely yes! My husband and I had a 13" black and white TV for the first 5 years of our marriage (with no cable-only rabbit ears). But it was worth it! Sometimes people do not have a choice. But if you do, and can manage it, make the choice to keep your baby with you. That's the ONLY way to be certain your child is cared for in the manner that only your precious one deserves. I wish you the best. ~ K.