Fear of Flying - Lincoln,NE

Updated on November 30, 2012
S.R. asks from Kansas City, MO
12 answers

I am so upset with myself! I am scared to death to fly and when I have to absolutely fly (business reasons) I have to take an anti anxiety med and sometimes that doesnt even help! I realize that flying statistically is the safest way of travel and I am not sure what it is that has me so worked up? I dont know if it is not being in control or flying in such a huge peice of "transportation".... I get anxiety from the time i get on the plane to the time the plane lands. The only time i feel "relief" is when i hear the captain say we are going to start our descend. I have a fear of falling out of the plane while we are in the air, i have a fear of the plane going down and crashing.... I look around and see other ppl sitting quietly and calm and some even sleeping! My husband wants to go to Australia next year and I am so stinking scared! It makes me so mad at myself because honestly, who would pass up a trip to go to Australia??????? THIS GIRL RIGHT HERE! What can i do??? please help!

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So What Happened?

see now this has got me all worked up again. i dont know why i do this to myself. sitting here thinking of maybe asking for some actual sleep aid like ambien or lunesta which i know will knock me out... what if the plane does go down and i wont be able to save myself because i will be drugged up from the sleep meds... LOL I am doomed either way!

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I have a fear, too, and it's mostly the lack of control and the TSA, frankly. When I flew the last time, I was most anxious when we were over the ocean and I almost had a panic attack while dealing with the very rude TSA. I tried to be calm and do breathing exercises and I had done my research but missed that they would treat diaper cream like a bomb. They made my child cry and split up my family, which was even more fun. For some reason, though the ocean part of the voyage really bothers me, much more than if I was on a cruise.

But re: the Australia thing...can you try talking to someone who has made the trip? How you get there will also depend on where you are starting from. In my case, I'd be flying across the country, and then over the ocean. I could do a layover to chill for a bit before the next leg.

I would also bring something that would help me sleep. Sleep is a good way to pass the time and help with jet lag. I also held DH's hand for much of the flight, when I wasn't dealing with DD.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

I use to get anxiety if I had to be on a plane for more than 2 hours. In my current job, I get to travel internationally. I traveled to Australia in 2010, which is literally the end of the earth. Maybe 15-17 hours or something like that. I slept most of the way and watched movies, but I had to get to this point in my life.

My first travel overseas was in 2005 to Hong Kong. It was a 13 hour flight. I was nervous and even asked the doctor to give me something to help calm my nerves. I had worked myself up so much that I literally fell off to sleep before the plane took off. When I woke up, we were flying over water and all I could see was moonlight and waves. Hours over water. I realized then that if the plane went down, there would be nothing I could do. I am by far a realist. While this is a helpless feeling, some things are simply out of your control. So, once I accepted that, I relaxed and watched a movie. I've traveled overseas quite a bit since then. The only issue I have with flying now is turbulence. That causes me anxiety. Getting something to make you sleep is probably your best option. Don't miss out on Australia. I was there for 10 days and it is absolutely beautiful.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Look into hypnosis. It's helped two of my friends who had serious fear of flying too. Nothing logical that any of us tells you will help with your fears so you need to tackle it from a counseling or other standpoint (like hypnosis). Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I soooooo feel your anguish.

I don't like flying at all. But I do it because I refuse to let my fears keep me from living life. I also want to teach my children to face fears...and how to take steps to overcome them. I have flown alone to then meet up with my husband in Hawaii. I have flown with friends..to then meet up with my husband in Hawaii. (He goes there around 4 times a year on business so I try to meet him there once or twice a year)

We recently flew together to the Bahamas..and there were 2 medical emergencies on board. No one wants to hear a huge thump and then the words, "Help..help. I need help. I have a woman down...is there a doctor on board!!" Then there was another person with a nut allergy and the staff said over the intercom there was an emergency and needed medical attention. Our plane quickly made a sharp nose dive and headed down and got immediate clearance to land. Scary moments..but we arrived ok..everyone lived...and I had a fabulous trip. But..then I knew we had to get home..breathe one,two, three...talked it over in my head that all would be well. Baby steps onto the airplane..had to get home to my kids.

I don't know about using sleep aids or relaxers for this fear. Lots of people tell me to check into it or just have a couple glasses of wine. But..I don't drink alcohol so that is out of the question. I really just focus on the fact that every minute planes are taking off and landing all over the world..and we rarely hear of planes crashing.

What I do is I try to think of all the fun I am going to have...the relaxing days on the beach. I get a couple really good books to read on the trip. I pack my iPod with songs or a book. I plan to watch a movie on one of the rented screens. I really get my mind wrapped around the entertainment portion of the trip..instead of the fact we are thousands of feet about ground in a metal tube going hundreds of miles an hour burning gallons of fuel right near my seat and there is a possibility of a terrorist or mental wacko on board.

It is ok to have fears..but don't let those fears keep you from living life to its fullest. Don't let your fears override your husband desiring to spend a beautiful time with you in a foreign land..experiencing lots of new and exciting moments together.

If you can't help yourself with a relaxer, a drink, or talking yourself out of the fear and onto the plane..then I suggest talking to a therapist.

Good day mate...hope you make it to the land down under with your hubby.

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

I share in some of your discomfort, I do become Claustrophobic at times.. Although, it's only been in the last few years that I have come to experience it... Since then, I have worked very hard to free myself of this feeling.
I have tried EFT (go to EFTUNIVERSE.COM) it's a free website and can more readily and easily explain the process. Additionally, I learned EFT in person with a practitioner, but didn't keep it up in person due to high cost. However, it IS something you can do effectively on your own once you learn the techniques. Does it work? Yeah, I think to some degree.. I am now able to ride public transportation without having to get off when it gets crowded (which was a becoming a big problem for me)

Also, I have done meditation.. sure, that is calming and works to some degree... but I don't always resort to it..

BUT the main thing that is working for me.. I have been enduring the anxiety.. Take driving.. I get really tense and anxious when driving.. so much so that I was not doing it.. However, deciding that I no longer wanted to be a prisoner to my fear..... I have been getting out and driving regardless of how much I fear it or start shaking... I call it, "driving thru my fear" as it were :) it's tough.. but I believe that every time we give into a fear, we feed that fear and it becomes stronger... I know that feeling of wanting flee and how desperately you want to feel calm and less anxious.. However, it's been my experience that as long as I run from fear, it will still be there. Like you who doesn't like flying although you rationally know it's safer than some forms of transportation, I too realize that operating a vehicle isn't so hard and that in fact, I do have some control... YET, it's when I start to think too much about it that I become immobile.. My suggestion.. try the EFT.... see how you like it..
There are MANY stories on the site of people being fearful of flying... read how they got through it.. in some cases, I have read where a person is deathly afraid and now.... they have no problem flying whatsoever..
IF you decide EFT is for you.. I would advise you to sign up for only ONE session.. then go home, let it sink in.... decide IF in fact the practitioner is right for you..... I say this because although I liked one person I went to.. I did not like a second.... so make sure if you do the EFT it's with someone you vibe with.......... you don't want to make an already uncomfortable situation worse..

good luck

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E.B.

answers from Seattle on

When I was 16 I was supposed to go stay with my Cousin in France for the summer. Plane ticket purchased and everything.

Then my fear got the best of me,

I DONT FLY, either.

For me it is heights. The fact that you are so high up in a metal shell......if it goes down, there is not much you can do to stop it.

The November after 9-11 my boy friend at the time was in the Army. He was going to Korea so we flew down to see his family for two weeks in Az.

Or flight was delayed leaving from Seattle. So the anxiety medication I had taken before we left...Was not working when we actually got on the plane. So, I had to take my return dose.

Coming home I tried some sleeping medication....Which does nothing for someone who is terrified. My Bf tried to sleep and I ended up hitting him every ten minutes thinking the plane was falling.

The next time I flew I ended up breaking up in a huge scabby rash on my face. The stress and fear got the best of my face.

If I can not drive there....I wont go there.

If you truly want to go ''Down Under''.....do it. Talk to your Doctor and explain it will be an extra long flight...They will probably be willing to give you something stronger to keep you knocked out longer on the flight.

I know that feeling you are talking about. I know it is the most irrational fear I have. It is the one I feel I can control the best, by not getting on a plane.

This is not an easy decision....Good luck.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I completely understand how you feel. I do not take meds but I also hate flying. I refuse to let my fear keep me from travel even though i have been in some scary situations. Flying is still safer than a car! If a drive is 2+ hours from us, we fly instead.

I never had an issue with flying even after being on 2 ER landings (unknown to us until we were approaching the runway) until I was on a critical ER flight. Just after we were airborne the engine blew and we were not far off the ground... Everyone knew it was serious..we immediately did a circle and landed safely with firetrucks, etc chasing us. Of course it was horribly scary.

The hardest thing I ever did was to get back on another plane to fly home. I knew if I didn't, I would probably give in to this fear. There were people who rented cars in Vegas to drive back to Dallas. In reality... that plane probably would have been fine flying back to Dallas. We did not know it but our luggage was never removed from that original flight. When we did finally land in Dallas, our luggage was already here.... the plane with the bad engine flew to Dallas with only AAir staff on it.

So after 5 yrs of this fear, I still HATE takeoff and I feel comfortable as soon as the "ding" comes on and we are told it is not safe to use approved devices. At that point, i realize we are fine. I also keep in mind that the pilots want to be safe too and they are not going to risk their own lives without first checking out the plane (watch them at the airport.. they always inspect the outside of the plane).

I also observe the attendants and seasoned travelers on the plane and that helps me when I see that they are just fine and not all worked up.

Try to figure out your trigger point of fear and go from there with relaxation techniques, etc. Best wishes and do not pass up that trip to Austrailia... you'd be sick if you did!!! Try to upgrade if possible to First Class... it is worth it!!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

You are me. To go to Australia I would have him knock me out and wake me upon arrival lol. I fly if I have to but relax, um, no. I cannot figure out how people sleep on planes. There are programs that help overcome this feeling. Whooping Goldberg did it. She would never fly but then had to when Sister Act opened in London. Don't miss Australia.

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W.-.

answers from Topeka on

This can eat you alive. Hubby is military and I am scared to death we may get sent overseas. Just the thought of the airplane high in the air makes me want to have an anxiety attack. I always told him if we ever did fly, I would have to be drugged heavily.

This could be something you can go to talk therapy for or even hypnosis.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

There are classes you can take to deal with this. I don't remember if they are offered by the airlines or by mental health professionals, but I've heard they are very successful. I would start by calling an airline and asking them if they know of any available programs or classes. Good luck! I don't like to fly, but I love to see new places so I view it as a necessary evil.

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H.L.

answers from Milwaukee on

I was the same way. I'm from Europe and fly internationally yearly, plus other trips. I tried anti-anxiety meds after a doctor friend recommended it (she flew with me and saw how scared I was). For me, that was kind of a turning point - I hated the pills as I just felt lethargic, but still scared. I think my problem was definitely a control issue and I would drive myself crazy thinking about what might happen, thinking I could somehow prepare myself or that analyzing the problem would help. I just stopped dping that, and that made all the difference. Now I just try to ignore that I'm flying. There's nothing you can do anyway, so just pretend you are on a big bus and try to keep yourself occupied. A good book, watching a movie, etc. Flying with young children is great too since you have no time to think about being scared :-). I still get a little nervous but I'm SO much better - it's been over 10 years since my "change" and it's gotten easier and easier. So yeah, you can do it! Talking to a psychologist sounds like a good idea too, or hypnosis - it's definitely a mind thing.

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

boy I sure can relate-had one bad experience when I was 18-im 52 now and never have gotten back on a plane.ive turned down free round trips to jamacia,florida and calif. all expenses paid-the fear is to overwhelming-and I really don't believe its the safest way to travel.my grown kids fly all the time-I hate when they do-but out of my control-cant let my fears n phobias destroy their great sense of adventure.ask your dr.for something stronger than anti anxiety medication.whatever you decide-good luck to you.just wanted to let you know your not alone in this fear...

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