Scared of Flying... What Do I Do

Updated on April 23, 2012
S.M. asks from Porter Ranch, CA
19 answers

Hi, i have always been worry freak for everything. I had severe panick attacks years ago and have been taking Paxil which helped me bring my life back.

This flight is long haul... 21 hours .. My friend, her daughter, my hubby and my 6 year old. I don't want to show a scary mom to my daughter. I cant cancel as it is no refundable. I freak out with every bump.. And think That is it for me...

I need to fly but I am scared and have negative thoughts.. I hardly think positive. When I really get wacko, I take Xanax .

Please help. This happens every time I need to fly.. Damn I can't truly enjoy my life I don't even need to fly until June but started freaking out right now. Should I see a specialist....

Help me please.

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Featured Answers

L.A.

answers from Austin on

A fear that would control or hinder my life? I would try to solve this. I do not want to miss out on anything.

I would hate for you to suffer so much. Please consider trying to find help.
Therapist, Hypnotism, Meds..

Is this trip worth it? Is there any other way for you to travel?

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

I always count to 30 very slowly since I read somewhere that most accidents happen in the first 30 seconds after take off. I would read as much as possible about the statistics of flying. Here is a start:

http://airlinesafety.com/faq/FearFlying.htm

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Take the train. Well that depends on where you have to go and if you have
the time. I absolutely hate flying. When I have to I take a valium, plug in
my music and fly away. Do I enjoy the flight, not really. My husband and I
are train lovers. However, we are retired and have the time to use this mode of travel. This past December we flew to Florida. We usually take the train. However, we got a $116 round trip fare each, so we opted to fly.
Train was much more. I survived and thank goodness it did not snow. There is not enough Valium in the world for me to fly in the dead of winter!!
So you are not alone. Just try to make the best of it. How long of a flight is
it.

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hi SM!

You know that you are much more likely to die on the 5 freeway than on a plane. Please don't let his fear hinder your life! Traveling is amazing and I have had some close calls (very rare) but that won't stop me. Like TF. says, pilots want to get to their destination as well.

Please talk with you physician about your anxiety.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I am not fond of flying but I refuse to not travel because I hate flying and I fly a lot.

I hate takeoff. I focus on watching the attendants Nd when I hear the ding it is now safe to use approved devices, I am more comfortable the entire trip.

I know the pilots will not intentionally endanger their own lives and they want to get to the destination safely as well.

You are more apt to die in a car crash vs a plane crash. This " pep" talk comes from someone who has been on 3+ ER flights , 1 of which was extreme.

You'll be ok... Focus on the staff, other seasoned travelers as well. Sometimes if my flight is in the later afternoon, I enjoy a couple of cocktails which relaxes me as well. I wouldn't do that if I were on RX though.

You can do it!!!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I have had anxiety and panic attacks and feel that air travel is one thing I'll not need to worry about since I won't ever do it. I drive where we need to go or we don't go.

If you have to travel overseas then of course you can't drive so you'd have to make other arrangements like a cruise.

I feel your pain, I would be having night mares already. Call your doc that prescribes the Paxil and talk to them about getting some Valium. It is fast acting and you can take enough to take the edge off or add another pill and feel happy happy happy then relaxed enough to go to sleep if you want.

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M.T.

answers from Nashville on

Find out what scares you the most about flying and read up the facts about that and how often that particular thing occurs (bad weather, pilot sleeping, whatever) and tell yourself the likelihood of it happening to you is rare. You will be fine.

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

I know they say you're supposed to CONFRONT your fears in order to move past them.

But I have to ask, WHAT is the reason you HAVE to fly?

Is it really worth it?

:)

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M.M.

answers from Seattle on

I totally agree with Julie B. You should look for professional help which you seem to already get, but medication doesn't seem enough. I am a worrier, and can't handle stress very well. Recently, I was going through some period of stress which I wasn't handling very well. I went to my doctor, and she told me either you have medication and/or therapy or start exercising.

Okay, you could say that my depression/anxiety was mild and/or I got it before it was out of hand (like in the past) but this time, I decided to get back to my yoga exercises at home which I had stopped doing for a few years, and within a week my morning anxiety was gone, and I was in a better mood. So, I am saying find alternative solutions to your problem, medication just covers it up. For me...Yoga is my Soloft ;-), I think yoga balances the chemistry of my brain.

Good luck, keep searching, don't give up, ...exercise, exercise, exercise...

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I'm afraid of flying as well although I have flown quite a lot from the time I was a child.
As a kid, I loved it and thought nothing of it. No fear at all.
Now...I definitely get nervous.
Once I get in the air, I'm fine. I just keep my eyes on the flight attendants. Every little bump and jiggle that startles me.....they move on about their business likes it's nothing. Because it is.
Now, if THEY ever freak out, that might give me cause to really worry. Otherwise, I just try to take my mind off of it all by reading or filling out postcards to mail from the airports. My family and friends really enjoy receiving them.
Gives me something to do.

Many, many people fly safely every day, week in and week out.
Maybe see a counselor so you don't have yourself worked into a tizzy between now and departure time.

Best wishes.

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S.D.

answers from San Diego on

I hate flying as well, but understand the cost and time sometimes make it a necessary evil. People always try and reassure you that you're more likely to die in a car crash, but that never made me feel better. Just annoyed me. You just feel safer driving because you're not 30,000 ft in the air. I flew in February with my 4, 2, and 1 yr old by myself. Thank goodness it was only a 2.5 hr flight as it was the bumpiest I have ever been on and it was a beautiful clear day. (I've always been very lucky to have pretty smooth flights.) so bumpy the flight attendants had to remain in their seats for practically the entire flight. Luckily my 2 y o slept, and my 4 yr old played his InnoTab and with toys the entire time, as I had my 1 y o in lap. I closed my eyes and counted and just kept counting. And reminding myself that most turbulence is just like bumps in a road. The counting helped me zone out kind of like meditating. I hope all goes well for you and that you manage to relax and enjoy your time.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Only fly in large airplanes, not DC 10's and DC 8's.
Sit in the middle row or on the aisle.
Do not look out the window, especially over water.
Take an iPod with soothing music
Benadryl helped my toddlers sleep a bit on long flights. If it knocks you out you can take some then you won't be aware of what is going on.
Have plenty to do, magazines, Sudoku books, etc
Read to the kiddos.

I have a real fear of flying, I had a near panic attack over Lake Huron in a DC 8. But if we are over land I am much better for some reason. Littler airplanes tend to feel more bumpy too.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I can relate. For many years each and every time I knew I would have to fly somewhere I would become a wreck for not only the day of the flight, but the two days preceding and the entire trip! I would vomit for two days before, and while on the trip I would not be able to eat. We went to Italy and I lost 10 pounds! My husband loves to travel so this was really h*** o* him and he was getting very resentful.....

I am a logical person and I couldn't understand why I had such travel anxiety. I met with a therapist and worked back to the first time I had this feeling. AH-HA! When I was 13 I went on a trip to England with my mom and my brother. We were gone 6 weeks. When we returned, my dad had moved out, and our parents announced their intention to divorce. In my mind the meaning was clear - DON'T EVER GO ANYWHERE BECAUSE WHEN YOU GET BACK YOUR LIFE WILL BE IRREVOCABLY CHANGED FOR THE WORSE.

Once I faced the source of the anxiety, I had control over it. On our last trip to Italy we had a fabulous time - 16 days of wine, pasta, cheese and heaven!

I hope this helps. Love L.

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C.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hypnotherapy worked for me. I thought it was bunch of mumbo jumbo before I did it but it worked. Believe me, I was very skeptical. I think it could help you. Also the guy I went to is a LOT cheaper than cancelling a trip that involves a 21 hour flight.

B.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hell I'm just scared of planes period.. I work across from the airport and every morning when the planes are coming in to land I just know for sure one is either coming.down or going to hit a building... I've never.flown before soo I can just imagine I would feel like you.. But mine is just heights, I don't like elevators either.. So I would suggest talking to somebody about it.

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D.G.

answers from Las Vegas on

A friend of mine tried hypno-therapy with fabulous results. She was terrifed of flying but had to travel for work. She tried hypnosis and can now fly with no problems.

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C.P.

answers from San Diego on

take some xanax on the flight. i hate to fly too but its just part of the "fun" part of life to go somewhere. you can do it!

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E.S.

answers from Boston on

Hi! Virgin is supposed to have a great fear of flying program, maybe there is an online component you can use. Good luck!

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

The only things that really scare me are the take off and landing. So I ignore that I am in a plane until that point, then I close my eyes and who ever is with me laughs so much that by the time I want to hit them I am up.

I guess I am saying try a focal point.

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