Family - Smyrna,TN

Updated on August 03, 2010
B.T. asks from Nashville, TN
6 answers

2 questions moms!!!!!! How too get a 8 year old too stop throwing. My husband works 2nd shift and when my back is turned my 8 year old throws ,jumps when hes not suppost too. 2nd ?? Me and my sister in law dont get along except when my husband is around. She keeps bringing my husbands ex girlfriend into the picture, the sister in law invites her too functions the ex says things too me. I have comfronted the family but they say I have an issue with her. The ex says things too me and my kids. My in laws dont hardly talk too me unless my husband is in the room. The ex was married but recently divorced. My sister in law keeps talking too my husband bout things about his ex. I have told him it makes me feel uncomfortable but I hear I cant control what my family says. I have asked out of respect for us please dont invite the ex too functions and please dont talk about her but I stil hear I have an issue. Do I have an issue? Back in the beginning the ex did things and said things. Dont know what too do. Need advice! I even asked him about what his ex has been saying and he said sorry I wasnt around thats it. Please advice moms. Thanks for your time.

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More Answers

A.G.

answers from Houston on

boy do i share your pain for sister in law problems!

your husband needs to handle this, not you., If it were your brother bringing your exes around what would you do?

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A.G.

answers from Sarasota on

I have been in the same boat as you however, when times got hard we had to move in with my mother in law at her house. It was pure hell living with that woman. She caused a lot of drama and hard times between me and my husband. She even showed me pics of his ex girl friends that she said he should have married unstead of me!!! I have learned that most people don't like change no matter how big or small. If your husband has divorced this woman it's because it didn't work out between the two of them. Now as far as your children it maybe because of this big change too. I know that its way easier said then done but keep your head up and don't worry about what others think or say about you and do what's right for you and yours. if you ever need to vent or just talk don't be a stranger :)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

What is his normal consequence for misbehaving? apply that every time he throws or jumps.
As far as the issue with the ex...your hubby really needs to man up and set his sister straight. He should tell his sis that if his ex is an invited guest, he and his family don't need an invite b/c you all won't be coming. aren't in-laws GRAND? Grrrrrrr.....

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds like no one has any respect for you including your husband. You have 2 choices just deal with it & continue going or take a stand and don't go to anymore functions. Sounds like there is a lot to your story so it's hard to give good advice because we don't know why this is happening & why you are not "liked" by your husbands family but most importantly why your husband is allowing this. If he really had your back he would put an end to it by not going anymore or telling his ex & his family this has to stop.

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

You should have your husband talk to his family. He needs to have enough respect for you to tell them to respect you. If that doesn't work you need to ignore it. The more you react this way the more they get a kick out of it. Act like the adult and don't let their immaturity bother you.
As far as your son, when your husband is home, you BOTH sit him down and tell him that from now on his disrespect and obnoxious, crazy behavior will not be tolerated. come up with a plan that is fair and fits the crime. Tell him that in the future if he contintues to behave this way when his father is home or is not home, he will lose ______ or he will not be able to _____ whatever he loves. You MUST stick to it though. No screaming, no spanking, just seriously sticking to what you say. It truly works best when the parent keeps their cool and follows through. You can even set up a chart that he can see. He gets points or stickers for each day he does not jump or go crazy, everyday he does, he loses points. At the end of the week if he has earned enough points, which means NO jumping at all, he can earn something. you must sit him down, look him in the eye, mean business. YOU are the boss and he is to respect you.

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S.P.

answers from Nashville on

1st issue - take the jumps (assuming this is the name of a toy) or whatever toy he is throwing away. Put it up indefinitely and add to it any toy he throws. No more toys until he learns to not throw them.
2nd - I agree with others - no one is giving you any respect on this issue including your husband. I want to advise not to go anymore, but if the ex is always there I'm not sure it's a great idea to send your husband to family functions alone when an ex is there. You need to speak with your husband about his lack of respect on this matter, but will have to grin and bear it with the in laws. Don't let "words" or things people say get to you and just take the high road. Can't control them, but I'm really more disappointed in your husband's lack of concern on the matter.

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