Ever Withdraw from a Sport and Just Eat the Money?

I would talk to the coach and the league. Maybe there is a kid that missed the enrollment that they would let switch with you? Worth a shot.

Otherwise, I would talk to the coach and see how they feel. Each team is only allowed a certain # of players. If she quits now, that will effect the team.

I would ask her to finish out the season, and then when its done, she can be done. That's the same in dance class and TKD. They ask that the kids give at least 2 months of trying before quitting.

We did that with an art class that DS just wasn't do well at (separation anxiet issue, he's 3...)

The class was $130 and we were 4 classes in when the "teacher" called me, concerned. We wound up just pulling him out.
Sometimes, you just have to suck it up.

She's 6, and she didn't make the commitment to the team, she followed your lead and wanted to please you. Let her drop it.

Awe What a brave little girl (and good relationship you have) for her to be able to come clean.
If it were me, I would reinforce her deicsion, but also use it to teach the lesson of being honest and true to herself.
"Jane I am so sorry you felt pressure from me to do this. I am glad you told me the truth. You can always tell me the truth about how you feel and your opinions on activities. Is there anything else that's bothering you about softball? . . . ." regardless of what she say you could respond with a simple "Right now, though, you have a team counting on you to support them. Do you think you could go through with the rest of the season and support your team? I think you can. It'll be rough, but you need to promise me that next time something comes up - activity, dance, friend , whatever - you are honest with me from the begining so I can help you out."
something like that. Good luck :).

absolutely.
kids should be allowed to dip a toe into an activity without being force-fed that activity if they turn out to dislike it. how will they learn to try things freely and excitedly if every time they do, they know they might get their noses rubbed in it for months afterward?
kudos to you for having a child who trusts you with the truth, and to you for acknowledging it.
next time try to find a way that will let her test-drive an activity before committing money to it. it always hurts to lose an investment, but it's a learning experience, and your child's happiness is more important.
khairete
S.

I'm sorry she doesn't like it. However, she made the committment to the team and she needs to learn about honoring our committments. Use this as a teachage moment. Let her know that its okay to want people to be happy but that we need to make ourselves happy first. To me, the money is a non-issue. This is a time to teach her the value of her word.

My daughter is 10, just about 11 years old. She desperately wanted me to sign her up for a tumbling class for 5-11 year olds given at the elementary school every Saturday morning for 6 weeks. Granted, it was only $40, but really, forty bucks is forty bucks, right? I took her to the first class & she was the oldest kid there by about 3 years. She was miserable the entire 45 minutes we were there & cried when we got home because she felt embarassed at being so much older than everyone else. I really contemplated making her go to at least 1 more class & see if she liked it any more, but decided against it. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut & while I understand wanting your kid to finish what they start as well as not wanting to throw your money away....well, sometimes I think all it would be teaching them is that if they make a mistake about something they think they might like & end up hating it, we're going to force it on them anyway for a pre-determined amount of time.

I get where you are coming from. However, it's a TEAM sport. I would tell her that she needs to finish the season and that will be it. The team is expecting and needing her - so she needs to stop feeling sorry for herself (that's hard, I know) and be part of the team.

I can't see eating $200 dollars and I'm sure that doesn't include the equipment and other items needed that you purchased.

In the future - she needs to participate in sports that SHE wants to and not because you are happy she's doing it.

No question, I would eat the money. You pushed for this, and it's so stressful for her it brings her to tears. She's 6.

When my youngest was 6 we signed her up for a science museum camp. It wasn't cheap, probably about 175 for the week. It was for 6-8 year olds, so she was one of the youngest. After the first day she was hesitant to go back. It was mostly older boys, and the teacher went into great detail about the chemical "eye wash" station. Apparently some of the boys were fascinated, and she must have told a story in great detail about how she had to was some kid's eyes out with the chemical wash before. Well, my DD developed an INTENSE fear of having that happen to her. She sat in the minivan sobbing the next day, and what could I do? Talking to the teacher did not help. So I let her quit. Why? It was supposed to be for FUN. Yes, I lost money, but I think that can be just a part of caring about your kid more than the money.

This is a learning experience for both you and your daughter. I would have her stick it out a little longer at least. My children know that if they start something, especially a team sport, they have to finish the season but they don't have to do it again if they really didn't enjoy it. I completely understand how you feel because you feel you forced her into it, however, she did make the choice too. It seems like you have a good relationship and she is not afraid to tell you that she is unhappy. I would make her stick it out.... she may learn to like it!! If you do take her out, make sure that she understands that it is not something you will allow her to constantly do if she chooses to sign up for something in the future.

You are in a strange place. On one hand she hasn't given it a chance, she has no way of knowing if she will like it or not. On the other hand if you force her she may never give it a chance again.

I know this isn't exactly answering your question but for me the money was never an issue one way or another, it was always my kids happiness.

She may end up happy with the sport if she gives it a chance instead of doing it to make you happy, ya know? I am just wondering if you ever practice with her? It is a win win, she gets better at the sport which will make her like it more and she will also love the time with you.

If it was my daughter I would make her finish the season just to give it a fair try.

Don't beat a dead horse. She gave it a try, it's not for her. Why make everyone miserable?

You win some, you lose some.

When you are young, it can be really scary trying new things. I remember starting dance classes numerous times around that age, and I loved it until it came time to do the performances. It was always at that time that I would freak out and go cry to my Mom that I hated dance and beg to drop out. And she always let me. I probably did this 5 or more times. I think that as a parent, sometimes you have to push kids to face their fears or even just stick through something even though it is unpleasant. My personal opinion is that letting her quit now may reinforce the idea that she does not have to finish what she starts or that if something is hard or scary, it is ok to give up. I know that I personally was just manipulating my mom and I wish she would have made me stick with it. I loved dancing and what I needed was a "push", not an "easy out" if you know what I mean.
I think you can talk with her an come up with ways to make it more enjoyable. For instance, my kids just started swim lessons and the 4 year old has been crying every time and not participating much because the pool is very cold. I talked to the rec center and they were able to switch her to another time slot that is held in the warmer pool. For your daughter, it could be something as simple as practicing with her so she feels more confident. Anyway, good luck!

I posted a similar question myself recently. I believe that it is very important to start teaching responsibility. It sounds like she really has not given this a fair try. I would make her stick it out for the rest of the season. If she still doesn't like it, then don't have her sign up again.

I'm sure you are getting varying opinions here. My kids have done sports since they were young. I let them choose what they want to do and because it is a team sport, I tell them it's not fair to their team to quit! BUT, if they had ever been truly unhappy, I probably would have let them. Can you ask her to try for a little longer and maybe play a game or two to see if it gets better?

My son played trumpet and we paid for lessons, paid to get the trumpet tuned and did all we needed to, and he did not like it! He has braces and found it was a LOT harder than he expected. I made him continue to try, but finally gave in and let him quit before his first concert. He was unhappy and wasn't giving his full effort anymore.

Watch your daughter and see how she does at practice and games. If she seems truly unhappy all the time, it might be time to just eat the cost and let it go, but have a heart to heart to her next time she wants to do a sport. She doesn't get to quit! Good luck w/ this...keep us updated! I hope she starts to like it!

I have NEVER signed my kids up for something and not had them stick it out. My son is now 20 years old and my daughter is just 5 (so she hasn't been signed up for much). My son always knew that he could sign up for just about anything he wanted but once he was signed up, he had to see it through for whatever the time was...six weeks, a season, the school year whatver the activity was. The ONLY time I ever offered to let him drop something early was when he signed up for chorus but thought it was band. After the first practice, he realized his mistake. I told him he could drop if he did so by the next practice but after the next practice was done, if he continued it was for the session. He said "no, I signed up so I'll stick with it". He enjoyed himself but didn't sign up the next year.

Now, with that said, since she is just 6 and she apparently wanted to sign up because you were so excited, you could use this as a great teaching moment. Explain that going forward, she should only sign up for something she wants to do regardless of who is or is not excited about it. Tell her that since it was her first activity and she felt pressured, you will allow her to drop it this time if she chooses or ask her to see it through (either is acceptable).