Dropping My Son off at Daycare

I have had this experience too. I watched from a two way window when my daughter did this. I was shocked by her behavior after I left, she was like a different child. So here is what I did. I walked in with her ,got her involved with something more interesting than me and left. After a time she outgrew this.

He's def. going thru some attachment anxiety. Don't let it get you down. My daughter does the same thing. She's almost 2. I just know that 5 min. after I leave she's fine.

Being a daycare teacher for 8 years, I can tell you that what the teachers are telling you about him being fine 5 minutes later is probably true. I've seen it SOOOO many times. If you're still uneasy with their answer, try dropping him off a few minutes earlier, then hiding around the corner where you're SURE he won't see you ;) and listen to see how long it takes him to quiet down. Or, you could call the daycare 5 minutes later and see if you can hear him in the background. As a teacher, I never minded a parent calling a few minutes after they left to make sure their child was okay. If they do mind, then maybe it's not the best place for your child. They sound very professional and knowledgeable, and you sound like you are doing everything right. It generally takes about 3-4 weeks for a child to become used to dropping off. Some children take even longer. My daughter took about 6 months, then was FINE when I dropped her off, but at first would cry so hard she'd vomit. Every day it was that bad, and it WAS all day long. Good thing I worked there, cuz I knew it wasn't the teachers - they were the best. I'm sure your son is getting great care and it sounds like you're doing everything right. Just try to find a little ritual/routine that you do with him every morning (waving from the window/him shutting the door for you/you leaving a "lovey" of something of yours for him to "hold for you" until you come back, etc.) Children feel safe and secure within routines, so try to make each morning exactly the same so he knows what to expect. Keep up the great work!

I agree w/the girls here,you are doing everything right. It really is just a phase and he'll grow out of it sooner or later. My daughter did the same thing at his age. I did what the teachers said, I'd drop her off, give her kisses and leave. She'd cry for about 5 minutes like yours and then had a great time the rest of the day. Honestly there's really nothing you can do about it. He'll grow out of it eventually.

S.

Hi ! I have experienced it with both my children. When my daughter was little (about a yr old til she was about 2 1/2), she would go through it, but it wasnt often. For her, I would hold her, and hug her and wait til she was ok before I left her. But she has never been a crying type of child so for the few times she needed extra re-assurance I would give it to her. My son on the other hand, (now 3), has gone through this periodically, just because he never wanted me to leave him. So for him I would have to kiss him and leave while he stood there screaming. But as some of the other woman have said, I have went and " hid" around a corner to see if he would stop, and he did. Within seconds ! Your child loves you, and you leaving is upsetting, for them, just like its upsetting for you. I have always had to work, so I have always felt guilty for putting my children in daycare. And I think sometimes they can sense it. Good Luck to you.

S.-
Don't worry, it IS just a stage. Seems like most kids go through it, I know mine did! I also watch kids and see the other end. Kids always act totally different when the parents are around. As soon as they leave, the kids are fine. He just wants your attention, it's normal, he is fine. It's really bothering you more than it is him, believe me. Just know that he is fine, he just loves you soooo much. Good luck!

Hey S. My name is C. and I have 2 girls we had the same problem with my 4 year old and her first year at preschool they said she was just fine after 5 minutes and so on but after so much i just chose to keep her home that year and retry this year and she did cry again for the first week and that was fine with me... she now does great and has turned around completely so my advice to you is to be patient.. if he is only crying for 5 mins and then fine all day and doesnt want to leave its just cuz he misses you and doesnt want to leave you and thats normal eventually he will be fine

Hi. I understand how you feel, but want to reassure you that your son is fine. It is just because he loves you more than anything so of course he does not want to part with you. The little boy I babysite also cries when his mom drops him off at my home, but then he is fine, happy as can be and loves it at my house. So this is normal...

As much as I hate this phrase sometimes..."it's a stage"...My son goes through it sometimes still...not nearly as often anymore. He would cry...the day care he is at is on campus at my school. I would drop him off, park my car and walk past the center and he would be playing and fine. I know from proof of my own knowledge that they do get over it. I have found that my son does it more when he is more tired, growing or I have been extra busy and not giving him as much attention at night or that morning. I can now pin point the problem that is causing it and adjust our schedule a little or at least as much as it allows. Good Luck!

I had a similar problem with my son. One day he just started crying when I dropped him off. It was hard, but I just gave him a quick hug and kiss and left. They told me he was fine a couple minutes later. One day he was back to being fine when I dropped him off.

I'm not sure what caused it, or why he stopped. But just trust that when you stick to a routine, it will get easier. Good Luck!

Hi Stacy!

My son did the same thing to me when he first started day care. He would throw such fits when I left him at the sitters'. I would feel so bad and wondered all day at work whether he was okay. But when I went to pick him up, the sitter would tell me the same thing every day; he cries for less than a minute after I walk out the door and then he's fine the rest of the day. When I go to pick him up, the last thing he wants to do is leave. I don't think it has anything to do with the day care itself, just that he loves spending time with. I guess clingy stages can happen at any time in a childs life. And just like every stage kids go through, he'll be over with this one before you know it.

Hi S.. I am a daycare provider so I've seen this a time or two. I can assure you that when they tell you he's fine 5 minutes after you leave, he's fine. The best thing you can do for him is just drop and go. The more you drag out the drop-off the harder it's going to get. If he is happy and content when you pick-up then you know he's happy at his daycare. If he was crying for extended periods, miserable when you picked up.. then I would worry. But the tears at drop-off is normal and in all honesty, if you would just drop him off and quickly go.. it will get easier. I know it's hard, I coulnd't imagine how hard it would be to walk away from your precious one when they are crying. But it really does make it easier for your child. I promise.

Good luck to you.

D.

S., I feel so sorry for both of you that you have to be apart so much! Let me give you a couple quick thoughts. First of all, Are you spending less time with him in the evening than you used to? I know that as toddlers become more and more independant, the tendancie is to let them play and entertain themselves more while we working moms get some much needed time to get stuff done! The fact that he's OK after you leave may mean he's just trying to be near you as long as he can. Try giving him some extra attention in the evenings. I know boys don't always show that they still need a lot of affection. Also, How is your morning routine? Has it changed. Does he get enough sleep? Maybe he needs more right now, and needs to get to bed earlier so he has time to really get awake and alert before he has to adapt to the crowd at school. I remember when I would pull my three year old out of bed in the morning and literally dress her while she tried to sleep to get her to preschool! Try giving him an extra hour of "wake" time before school and not being in a hurry. Hope this helps!

S.,
Hi! I am a teacher at a preschool and a mother of an almost 4 year old. I have worked there for almost 9 yrs and this is normal. My son will still throw a fit from time to time because he wants to stay home. I am there with him and know everything is ok and still feel guilty. I know how you feel. It is normal to question your child's happiness. You are a maternal mother. 99% of the time, they do settle down after 5 minutes. We often encourage the parents to go into the office and view their child on the camera until they feel better about the situation. This helps them have confidence in us. I am sorry your center doesn't have this option, bu tI assure you when he doesn't want to leave in the pm, this is a great sign! Hooray to you for being so motherly!

S., sorry for the delayed response but I did still want to post. There are so many tips in regards to daycare drop off and most of them were expressed by other moms. My biggest tips that I give moms when they drop off their kids is to keep their goodbyes for when they actually leave. In other words don't say "ok I'm leaving bye" and then stick around for another minute and then say it again. This confuses kids and makes them wonder when the goodbye is actually going to happen. Also please rest assured that most kids stop crying within 1-2 minutes (but if you tend to come back or stick around when they cry then this usually lasts longer after you leave because they think you will come back). I have an entire print out that I give to the parents in my daycare that I would be happy to share with you or any other parent. Feel free to contact me if you are interested. Otherwise hang in there, it does get better with time and once your child passes that "phase" sort-a-speak. :-)