Do You Panic at the Thought of Dying and Leaving Your Child?

Yes! I worry about this too. I am glad you asked this b/c I do feel wierd about it also. I worry mostly about losing my kids, and then I worry second most about my kids losing me. I am tearing up just thinking about it right now. I hope to see other answers to this question so we can find out if we are both normal :)

Starting around age six, I started to worry about my mom and dad dying. This was brought on when my piano teacher died that year. I was so sad at the thought of losing my mom. I used to lay awake at night thinking about how sad it would be to lose my mom.

When I was eleven years old, my mother died of breast cancer. Oddly enough, it was not the end of the world that I thought it would be. Life was very hard without her, but it certainly did force me to be strong and independent. I was still able to find joy and beauty in life. Still do. The saddest thought for me is the fact that my little brother, who was only two years old when my mom died, does not remember anything about her.

My children are six, four, and 19 months. If I died today, I can at least rest easy knowing that my older two will remember me. My husband is a very capable man, and I have no doubt that he would find good care givers for our children while he is working. I also think he would use good judgment if he ever decided to remarry. We have life insurance, a will, and trust. Everything beyond that is out of my hands.

I think if you have a plan in place in the event that you do die, you might feel a little less anxious. And you should communicate to your husband what you expect from him as far as what to do with the life insurance money, how you want child care handled, and introducing a new woman to your children.

And above all, love your children! Tomorrow is promised to no one. Your children will never forget you or the love and teachings you instilled in them :-)

Yes. I struggle with that from time to time. But I have also had 6 near death experiences in the last several months that have had me think about if I really do die from my condition. The only thing you can do is love your kids, live for the moment and try to best prepare your kids if something were to happen. It makes me super teary eyed when I am forced to think about it. But for the most part, I choose to live every day, every moment for the best---like it was my last.

I have a will and life insurance...and I know my husband is a smart, capable father. They would survive without me.

I do feel a bit better now that they might actually remember me if something happened...but ultimately we all die...so I figure be as prepared as you can. Then you don't really have to worry about it as God is in control.

I actually worry more about out living my child than I do about dying and leaving them.

I have thought about it and I have planned for it. I purchased a nice sized life insurance policy, so that if something happened, my husband could hire help and our daughter could pay for college.

Now that I have survived that part of her childhood, that policy will allow my husband to pay off any of my cremation needs, and any debts we may have.. or he can go on a fabulous trip!

We are all going to die at some point. Of course if our children are young it is heartbreaking, but they will be cared for.

Once I had the plan written out and the life insurance policy purchased. I really quit worrying about it.

As our daughter got older, we spoke with her about choices she would have. I asked her who she would like to live with, where she would want to live. What would she worry the most about.. So including her,also made me feel like she was going to be prepared.

My husband HATES this kind of talk. he does not want to , nor can he discuss these things. It is just too upsetting for him. I was brought up to not fear death, but to just be prepared. Thank goodness our daughter is more like me on this subject.

Having a will and a custody agreement goes a long way towards being able to let go of anxiety in regards to hypothetical death. At least I know that I've done my best for them, just in case.

Plan for the worst, hope for the best. One of my favorite mottos.

I used to be afraid of dying. Once I had kids, that fear went away. I gave them the gift of life and they are free to live and enjoy it, with or without me. Of course it would be terrible for me to die young and leave them, but as long as I know my kids are OK and taken care of, that's what counts. Parents do die and children are meant to live on. It's upsetting and sad when that gets reversed and the kids die first.
I think I probably have too much anxiety about something happening to the kids.

I don't panic but I definitely think about it. I say it seems conceited like "I'm so important nothing can happen to me" but moms are that impt to their kids and while I know kids can turn out just fine and have great lives even if their mothers die, it's heartbreaking. Just heartbreaking and so sad. So yes, I do think about it and won't fly with my husband and not my kids in case the plane goes down. Silly I know given driving in a car is statistically more dangerous but I try to take as few risks as possible.

Yes. Every time I fly without my babies, I have a tiny little panic-attack.

Someone once told me that having a child is a leap of faith. Yes, bad things can happen. Terrible things can happen. If I think about all the different things, I might lose my mind. I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes it gets the best of me, of course...I think that happens to us all.

But I cannot enjoy my life now if I am constantly worried about the future beyond my control. What if nothing happens, and I realized I had spent my children's childhoods worrying about it instead of enjoying it? What if something does happen and I realize I spent my children's childhoods worrying about it instead of enjoying it? What would my worrying change? I can't envision a scenario where worrying about it is a good use of my time, so I do my best not to.

No, I have more anxiety about something happening to my child. I agree with the other poster that planning goes a long way and can be very helpful. My husband and I have a will and have given a lot of thought to who will be our childrens' guardians in case something happens to us. We've even changed the guardians once when circumstances changed. If you haven't already done so, see a lawyer and designate suitable guardians for your son. It might help ease your mind.

ETA: My kids are older now and I am very comfortable with their designated guardians. However, when they were younger and we had a less comfortable guardian situation my husband and I did often fly separately. It seemed extreme and people would hassle us about it, but it was part of the planning that helped ease my mind at the time. Good luck.

no i don't have those thoughts.
i worry more about their health and well-being than anything else. THAT causes me stress and anxiety but something happening to me and my kids being left without me does not.
:(
my husband and my family could do a great job raising them if they had to without me.

I deal with this and I feel your stress and understand it. My father died when I was two and I do not remember anything about him. My childhood was really horrid, bad and stressful. I should have been in foster care but wasn't. I am now the age that my father was when he died and there is a hereditary factor with the disease that killed him. It is very hard, but I generally have brief episodes when I really think about it. Then I could my blessings and enjoy my life. I am actually a very positive person. When you lose a parent as a young child I think sometimes it makes you more appreciative, more dedicated and more open to life....if that makes sense.

It helps to live one day at a time and to find moments of true joy and to fully enjoy them.

Have a will and/or god parents.

No. I don't worry myself sick over things I have no control over. Life is too short to worry about all the what if's.

We as a family all get on the same plane, same car and go about our lives and have faith.

I believe when it is my time then it is my time and I know my daughter will miss me but I am ever so thankful I have had the past 17 yrs with her and she has become a beautiful young woman.

No, I did not have these excess worries when she was very young either.

I prefer to use my time on something more productive that excessive worry.

I hope you do find comfort and ease with your anxiety so that you can enjoy your precious children.

I might worry, but I remind myself that it's unlikely. And if it does happen (like my uncle dying) it is likely that DD will have DH. And they will have my life insurance. If DH and I both go, then she has my sister and BIL to raise her and love her. I have made these choices and taken these actions now so that if I get eaten by bears, nobody has to scramble.