i dont think its appropriate to put a 3yr old in timeout for singing a song that he doesn't evenunderstand the words. How about a quick - "we dont sing that song in school" and keep it movin! hey daycare - over react much?
My husband and I love country music. So naturally our 3 yr old does too. But I do find some of the songs are a little too "mature" for him. So I went to pick him up from daycare the other day and his teacher said he was singing "rain is a good thing" which talks about whiskey and other things. He went to time out for it. The daycare said it was inappropriate. Which I agree to a point, some songs shouldn't be sung at school. So how do I explain to him some songs shouldn't be sung and should I let him continue to let him listen to country music or find something else to listen to. I feel like all types of music can be inappropriate at one time or another (except for christian of course). I hope I'm explaining this right. btw He doesn't understand what whiskey is (we don't drink). Thanks.
i dont think its appropriate to put a 3yr old in timeout for singing a song that he doesn't evenunderstand the words. How about a quick - "we dont sing that song in school" and keep it movin! hey daycare - over react much?
I'd find another daycare, L.. I would never put a three year old in time out for singing... never. I don't care if it was a filthy rap song. (I would have a conversation with the parents about the content of the music and the fact that the kids were repeating it....)
Kids sing because they are HAPPY. He isn't singing with any understanding of what the song is really about.
My kids are now (almost) 6 and 7... when they were about 4 and 5 or 3 and 4, they loved the song "I Love Rock N Roll", only they didn't know all of the words... so instead of "put another dime in the jukebox baby" they would sing "put it in the juicebox and then it makes a baby. " I guess that could have been taken in all kinds of "inappropriate" ways, and if my daycare had put them in time out for it, I would have been ticked.
I agree that it's not the daycare's place to decide. He's 3-what does he know about what he's singing. I love country music & my kids listen to it. My husband loves rock & alternative. My daughter loves U2 & she's 4. Everytime the radio comes on, she's wants them on. I wouldn't explain anything to him. Instead I would tell the daycare that they simply need to redirect him if they don't want him singing a song. IMO-this is not a time-out worthy offense.
That is just stupid to put a kid in timeout for singing a song......wow.....it's not like he was singing cuss words or something - when did whiskey become a four letter word??
Please find another care provider. Time out for singing a song which features whiskey? Oh, that teacher would have heard much worse from me! tee hee.
NOW if your son had snuck in a flask of whiskey... whole other story.:)
I am careful about what our son listens to, within reason. There are things I'd rather him not repeat, and children don't usually have good discretion about it on their own. My own parents used to change words. Like "Tiny Bubbles, in the wine"... for years I thought it was "Tiny Bubbles, in Hawaii" (pronounced like many mainlanders do: "Huh-why").
I think your post should be titled: "How to do I tell my son's preschool teacher not to punish my child for a non-offense?"
I'm a preschool teacher, by the way, and that is just not on my list of offenses. All we have to say is "Oh, we don't sing that song at school. Let's sing Itsy Bitsy Spider". Trust me, problem would have been solved, no shaming.
This reminds me of our wedding. Our flower girl, 4 at the time, was running through the church belting out 'SHE THINKS MY TRACTORS SEXY! IT REALLY TURNS HER ON!'
We all laughed about it, it was hysterical. Even the pastor laughed. Its one of my favorite memories from our wedding, and now that she's a teenager its even funnier, she remembers it too!
I think the daycare went overboard. She could have just asked him to stop. He's a little boy adn doesn't know that the lyrics have real meaning or subliminal messages.
I think the daycare was way overboard in their reaction to this. I guess it's a good thing you don't listen to rap music, or he would've been expelled for singing about bitches and hoes!!!
He is probably completely confused!! He doesn't understand what is "bad" in a song, and what isn't. He won't understand what he can sing and what he can't. In order for him to do that, you'd have to sit him down and tell him what every bad thing in songs are, and why he can't repeat it...which would go way over his head. He didn't deserve a timeout for this, sorry.
If you don't want him to repeat bad things, the only let him listen to children's music. There are country singers who specifically write children's songs. Do a google search.
Are you freaking kidding me? Maybe I am a non-country-listening-fool but I had no clue that meant anything other than the meteorological event. I am sure every toddler in there is ready to saddle up to a bar now, way to go mom. ;)
At least it wasn't Amy Winehouse's "Rehab!" LOL
At 3 1/2 mine was listening to John Denver's Please Daddy don't get Drunk this Christmas. We pulled into my daughters school adn he gets out of the car walks into the lobby near the office of her very Christian school and lets out "Pleaeeeease Daddy Don't get drunk this Christmas I dont wanna See my mamaaaaa Cryyyyyyyyyy"
Talk about mortifying. So I just told him that some songs don't get sung at church and schools. That it wasnt' a good school song. THen sang something else
Have you spoken to the director of the daycare? TO for singing anything at 3 is a little extreme. 3 year olds are mimics.
Ha ha ha! This so reminds of the time, while in college working at the child center, a 3 year old started singing "Its getting hot in here, time to take off all your clothes"! He was going to town, I had to chuckle inside it was sooo cute, yet so inappropriate for a 3 year old.
It was all fun and games until the other kids started taking their clothes off, so yes it can get out of hand real quick. Totally agree tho' 'a time out' is not really necessary unless there was some out right defiance. As others have stated a quick' we don't sing that song at school', redirect and go on our marry way would have been a more appropriate response!
With that said, I wouldn't necessarily keep him from listening to the songs, just maybe explain that certain songs aren't appropriate for school, and "rain is a good thing" is definitely one of the 'certain' songs :)
I don't listen to country music, so I don't know the song you mentioned, but from your description, I think the daycare teacher overreacted. And I sincerely hope he got at least ONE warning before getting a time out for the heinous act of singing!
To answer your question, no. I don't listen to country music because I don't like it and since *I* control what is on my ipod in the van, my girls listen to whatever I listen to.
I would have been upset if a teacher had put my daughter into timeout for singing lyrics she CLEARLY doesn't comprehend yet. A more appropriate thing to do would be to ask the child to stop, suggest another song to sing, and report to the parent. Now he probably feels like he was a bad singer :o(
I would tell your son that we can sing songs where we hear them. So, if you listen to those songs at home or in the car, that's where he can sing them. At daycare, he can sing the songs he hears there.
Personally I think it's fine for him to keep listening to your music. It's fun to all sing along together to *real* music. Also, kid's music is incredibly annoying!
that's a little extreme to me. hopefully the time out was more for not listening to the teacher when she asked him to stop, rather than just the fact he was singing it. first off, whiskey is a natural part of our world, there is no " evil" in it, just in how some people choose to misuse it. my son is being raised not to find alcohol "evil" in and of itself, we drink responsibly in our home, NOT to get drunk, it's just a normal thing. - second, "my baby" being "frisky" can mean a million things. to me it can also mean like a young colt folicking through a field kicking up it's heels - and four year olds can DEFINITELY be frisky, so there can't be any bad connotations to that....i have a four year old and have thought this through, you see lol. when i was a kid i had NO Idea what "cat scratch fever" was, didn't figure it out till i was a teenager. now i can't believe my parents let me listen to that - my dad had it in his vinyl collection. anyway, i would ignore the content of the song, and focus on, "when the teacher asks you to stop singing you need to listen and do as she tells you." i don't think we should place "badness" on something that is inanimate. music is just music. certainly a song like that (it's not like it is encouraging hate or violence or anything) is only what you make of it.
A time out for a three year old singing about something he doesn't even understand???
Tracy K hit the nail on the head, she should have just said "we don't sing that song at school" and redirected him to something else.
Your daycare provider sounds like she's never taken any child development classes, this is like basic early childhood education!
I'm sorry for your son, I guess just try to keep the explanation simple, and say the daycare only wants him singing daycare songs, not family songs.
Honestly I might start looking for a new daycare :(
County is all that plays on the car radio and I hear my daughter singing along at times. But I feel that this is the best type of music to listen to in terms of being family friendly and not too mature. Even some children's music is mature these days. I think your daycare provider went too far. I am guessing your 3 yo didn't understand what he was singing. Her making a big deal of it would upset me more than the music.
What?! They put him in time out for singing that song? That's completely ridiculous. Even if it was a horrid song, they should have just talked to you instead of punishing a little boy who is innocent and has no understanding of it. He had no idea! How dumb. I would be more irritated at that part than anything else...
I used to listen to country a long time ago, so I'm not familiar with that song or if I would let my kids listen to it. With the type of music I do listen to, sometimes a song might come on that seems a bit questionable, so I do turn off so the kids don't hear. But most country songs have seemed harmless...back like 15 years ago. hehe.
I can't believe they put a three year old in time out for singing about whiskey, like he would know what it was. That's ridiculous. Most country music is pretty tame, from what I've heard. I think you should let him listen to it. And maybe change your daycare.
I think his teacher should have talked to you about her concern, and not given him a time-out.
As far as explaining to him that some songs he hears are inappropriate for school, he's 3 and may not remember. I'd monitor the songs he hears, if you hear something come on that is too mature simply change the station.
And here's some sites with country music for kids, let him play his own!
Yes that is all we listen to & childrens CD's.Heck my son was singing Big Green Tractor @ this age
We listen to everything except country! Drake to aerosmith to beastie boys, you get the pic! There my kids and its not hurting them. I would of had a few choice words for daycare myself!
I would be unhappy with someone putting my THREE YEAR OLD in time out for something that is MY fault. What music you listen to (to a degree) is whatever....but if a little boy that age doesn't even know what he's singing and it's something that they think is inappropriate, they need to mention it to you, not him.
An example: I was ill last week and didn't do laundry like I normally do. I just was behind between painting the new house, packing the present house up, the normal hectic schedule with the boys, and having the worst sinus infection I've ever had. Yuck! Because of that, my 4 year old's gi was not washed. In his kung fu class I know he can either wear a gi or black athletic pants with his school tshirt. Since he's only worn his gi to class, I didn't realize he still has to have his belt on so I drove him to school without it. The sifu asked him wear his belt was and I answered that I had not brought it. He said "It's 10 pushups for not coming to class in uniform", so I walked over and did the 10 pushups instead because it was my choice, not his, to not do laundry or to not bring his belt. I'm sure I could have argued and made excuses and not done the pushups, but I was wanting to show my son that we don't argue and make excuses for things we're responsible for, we take our "consequences" and deal with it, but I was happy to do them because I didn't want my son feeling bad about something that was my fault. (It helped that the sifu wasn't acting stupid about it or standing over me-he mentioned it, I hit the floor, he walked away to prepare the class). Now we both know the rules, and my son knows that he's in charge of getting dressed for class but even if we aren't wearing the gi, he must bring his belt. That's fine!
In your case, I'd want a meeting with the teacher and director, not a big "to do" about it, but I'd want to discuss coming to me for something I let my son do, not punishing him for something he isn't old enough to understand yet. Just trying to work together to provide the best care possible. My son knows that we drink things he doesn't (like coke) but that doesn't mean he knows why. That punishment was silly. I would say "Oh love, we don't sing that song here. How about ___ instead?" I did have a problem with an elementary student at my house singing a horrible song from Pussycat Dolls once, but I just said "I really don't like that song because I think it's not nice, even though the beat is good. Have you heard ___?" and played something else that I thought more appropriate for the age group. I didn't make judgements on him or his parents, or get into a discussion that I thought was best done by his mom, but I did just say I really didn't think it was nice and switched to something else that was a similar style but less adult lyrics. Like another poster said, it's all about content, not genre.
We listen to country and other stuff too along with our children. When mine are that young, I usually don't let them listen to those types of lyrics.
I force my four year old to listen to Darius Rucker.
The tenth song is "I Don't Care" and it's sooooo wrong but it's the BEST driving song on the cd.(The fact that Brad Paisley is on it doesn't hurt either.)
When he asks me "if I want the blonde, brunette or the one with the long, red hair" I'll be concerned,
I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC.
I let my kids listen to it ALL of the time.
I would rather my kids listen to country music than some other type of music thats out there these day.
Sometimes we crank it up loud.
Right now, our # 1 favorite song is Honey Bee.
We love ALL country singers.
I agree that the provider seriously overreacted. Inappropriate words require an explaination and a request not to use them, not a time out.
I let my own children listen to country music and just swich the song if I find it too mature. As for the daycare kids, we sing all the time and I have a specific playlist of kid friendly songs from ALL genes (well not much rap because it is hard to find family rap music)
I personally do not see anything wrong with letting your child listen to country music...AND I do not agree with your daycare putting your little one in time out for singing something he hears on the radio (especially when he doesn't understand that it was "inappropriate")! Like you said, all types of music can be inappropriate at times (except christian) and putting your child in time out for just singing a song he hears is INAPPROPRIATE to me...if they didn't like the words in it, they should have just explained that to him and then to you as his parent....so that you could talk to him and explain things further if need be.
At the age of 5, my daughter was singing "Me and Bobby McGee."
I think that daycare went WAY OVERBOARD, he is an innocent child. I've heard some christian music that I thought was bad and I listen to Billboard Top 40, and yes my kids will sing along with it (my girls will be 6 next month and they love love love music and singing it)
He doesn't even get that stuff yet! Six years ago I heard kids singing "When The Sun Goes Down" and "It's Five O'clock Somewhere" every day and none of them got in trouble. Those were practically the school's theme songs! Then again, it was a small town with people driving up to the bank on tractors and parking on the side of the road just to see the prairie dogs.
Three year olds mimic without meaning anything by it. At that age I was listening to country and hanging out in my teenage sister's room to listen to rock with her. If it hadn't been rained out we would've all gone to a country music concert with the kids a couple weeks ago to see Josh Turner.
Definitely not worthy of a time-out.
they should stick to the caring for children and stop projecting their own fears and desires onto an innocent 3 year old. are you kidding? whiskey? boy, that's an evil word all by itself.
I think the daycare people are morons! Your 3 year old has noclue what the songs mean, and if my kid got put in time out for singing a completely innocuous verse, I would give them a piece of my mind and find a new daycare. My kids listen to kid music, rock, jam bands and real honky tonk country.
We allow our children to listen to music based on the content, not the genre.
I don't think your son should have been put in a timeout for singing unless he was refusing to stop during quiet time. Actually, I really feel that 3 years old is a bit young to get into trouble for something like that. I just don't understand why caregivers and teachers are so quick to punish children for certain behaviors before talking to the parents and working toward a solution together.
Sounds like cute Youtube material to me...put a pint size guitar in his hands, boots and a hat and let him rip....
He sounds quite musical to be repeating the songs verbatim later on.
I think the daycare reaction was way overboard. There are much worse things he could be doing than singing a darn song that he doesn't understand. He has a right to free speech too! :)
My kids listen pretty much what I listen too...Which is anything from Blue Grass..to hip hop and even a little rap...
My favorite band is called Rise Against. They are apolitical hide speed punk rock band. My four year old knows like three songs by heart and will belt them out at the top of his lungs whenever the moment hits him...They dont swear..but the words can seem heavy coming from a little guy. I have had the talk with him that he cant sing them without mommy being around. He has done pretty good listening to that request.
So, it may have been naughty to sing the song at daycare. But to go as far as a time out for it seems harsh. Its not like any of the other kiddos could translate what he was saying and put it into direct context.
Every kid is gonna have their own ear for music. Not everyone is gonna like what they listen too. I think that if he likes it and he can go with not singing it where it can offend people, you shouldnt have to make him stop listening. You are right in saying that all music can be inappropriate. So it is up to you to decide what is ok for his ears...opinions will vary on this. Alot of people would say my middle guy is to young to listen to political rock...he doesnt know what they are singing about and if he has a question down the road about it...we will discuss the meaning behind the songs...
maybe just be more diligent in screening the songs he does get to hear?
download the favorite "acceptable" songs onto disk, thumb drive, or iPod, and just play those.
I think it's silly he got a timeout for repeating that song, though. A simple talking to from the daycare person should have sufficed.
I don't think time out was an appropriate reaction from the daycare. He didn't understand, and if anything that reaction will reinforce the behavior and he will sing that song JUST to test boundries at some time.
They should have confronted you to explain to him not to sing that song in school and maybe better screen his music...
When I was a kindergartner, I was singing the unedited version of Aerosmith's "Love in an Elevator"... which had a few lyrics that were less that appropriate. I didn't understand the song, I just really liked to sing it. My mom was called by daycare/kindergarten and they asked her to talk to me about it. I was listening to the music on my way to school with my dad in the mornings. My mom just told me that "daddy's music is for grown ups... and if I wanted to listen to "his" songs I couldn't sing them at school. But she told me I could sing disney songs or "church" songs all I wanted.
For me, the problem was solved... But I was about 5 then. at 3 I think you'll have better luck just pre-screening your music better. Download tunes you like that have no drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, or cussing (or even rude language) and put them on CD's or an MP3 player and just listen to those if you have the toddler in the car. You don't have to switch to little kids music... just edited or carefully picked out music. If you use the radio... flip the station if an "iffy" song comes up. When he is older you can start to teach him about what is appropriate at home VS at school.
I didn't read the rest of the responses so sorry if I'm repeating. We have pretty much learned that raido is now out of the question with our 2 1/2 year old. A few months ago we were walking through the store and she started singing "dj turn it up up up up up" and we realized that Ke$ha and Lady Gaga, etc aren't exactly the example that we want to be setting for her. Regardless if a child understands what they are singing about, some things are not appropriate (which it sounds like you agree with). My husband now will only plug in his iPod to the "family friendly" playlist. It is current songs that we think are okay for her to listen to, country included. When I'm in the car with her alone I like her listen to one of her kids cds, usually a Disney one, if I have to hear the theme song to Dora again, I might throw the CD out the window!
Another song my daughter just loves is "toes in the water, a$$ in the sand" she doesn't know what an a$$ is, but she learned it when I was still listening to the radio and trying to just change the station if it was a song I didn't want her to hear. It's hard when it's the first line of the song that is wrong. We are just hoping she forgets the song soon. We don't want to make a big deal when she sings it, other than "oh I don't like that song...let's sing ABCs instead" because we don't want her to think it's funny.
That's a bit harsh.
And like the others have said I'd be looking for another day care.
His teacher should have taken him aside and said to not sing it at school.
You can try "_____________ isn't a song we should sing at school" or " lets save that song for only at home ok. "
I forgot to add my daughter was singing Honky Tonk Badonkadonk at 5.
I'm a little shocked he was in time out for that too. I thik you have to decide when it is enough. I let my daughter (3.5) listen to the pop station that I like and so far I'm okay with it, but it's becoming sort of borderline. She is starting to sing some unsavory lyrics and although she doesn't comprehend them, I often wonder if it's still a problem. I think at some point I'm going to have to change the radio station. I don't want to, but I also don't want her to start asking about the meaning of some of those lyrics either!
Honestly, the daycare provider shouldn't have put him in TO for this. She should have gave him a warning and told him WHY it wasn't appropriate to sing that and explain it to him. Poor guy! He didn't know! As for music, I let my kids listen to lots of different kinds of music. If a part is inappropriate, we skip it or if they ask--I explain and say we don't use this word because..... GL
I choose which songs are age appropriate for my children to hear. Most genres have music that is family friendly... listen to those songs around him.
It makes me sick when I hear and see kids singing drinking songs, songs about sex and violence, doing booty dances. Seriously people, what happened to protecting our children's innocence?
Yes, the provider overreacted. But why overreact in return? I wouldn't necessarily "fire" your day care and have to find a new one (what a hassle) over this. I'd just tell her that next time she should tell you -- not put him in time out. Tell her you think it's inappropriate discipline for this. That's your right.
But if it happens repeatedly and she has an issue with it, she could be the one to tell you that its' time for you to find someone else. Just something to be aware of. Especially if it's home based day care and not a big chain of corporate providers, her opinion will matter, if she believes other kids should not be hearing this. If my child were in day care and came home singing stuff she'd heard other kids sing, and I found it inappropriate, I'd be talking to the provider and/or the parents pretty quickly.
He doesn't know what whisky is now. But unfortunately, by the time he's in first grade, maybe even younger, he very likely will - other kids and older kids will be sure of that. So when he's singing stuff like this at those ages, it won't be just because it's a catchy tune. It'll be because he knows it gets the adults' attention, big time.
My daughter loves my favorite pop band but I do edit which of their songs she can hear. They don't even do any outright dirty or even suggestive lyrics, but there's a lot of opaque references to things that are too mature. So I do edit which songs I play in the car with her there. As for how to tell your son "don't sing this around other people" -- at his age, I think that would only draw his attention to it and make him more interested in the songs. Finding other songs that he'd be OK singing and exposing him to those more seems like the simpler answer.
I also think the school was a bit picky on this.
Would I let my daughter listen to it... sure if it was her thing. However, we (no offense) despise country music and we would not even to be able to name a country singer.
My husband and I will be wrestling with this in a year or so. Our son is 11 months and we listen to a lot of music with totally inappropriate lyrics (not country, but most genres have songs with mature themes and lyrics these days). Right now he doesn't know the difference, but pretty soon he'll start noticing what those words are. Although our language at home needs to improve too.
There should be plenty of country songs that are ok for him to hear, so you can create a playlist of those to play when he's around. Honestly I wouldn't stress too much over it; my sister and I learned a bunch of swears early on (my dad had a mouth like a sailor, which I've inherited) and it was never a big deal. My mom simply explained that those words can offend some people so it's best not to say them unless we're around people we really know well. In fact my little sister's first word was "oh sh*t", and my mom just laughed and went "wow do I really say that so much?" My dad wrote a few country songs and one of the ones I remember best from my childhood is one about prostitutes - although at the time I didn't know it.
On the other hand, some people get really hung up over certain words and certain topics. I think your daycare went overboard in punishing such a young child for singing about whiskey (and really? do parents never keep alcohol in the house that the child would end up talking about?). Seems like an immature reaction to something that could have been a really good teaching moment.
Bottom line - it's your decision as a parent what's appropriate. Swearing and "mature" topics were never really a big issue when I was a kid, and they're still not in my house, and my son will invariably be exposed to that stuff because I'm unable to make myself completely G-rated. I don't think it's a big deal, but that's a personal decision for you to make. Just be aware that people like your daycare teacher do exist and he may catch some flak for it, but if you teach him that some people are upset by certain things, hopefully he can handle it. And tell your daycare to stop being such prudes.
They gave him a T.O. for that? I would have been annoyed. A simple "that's not a song to sing in school" would have been more than enough- and then a quick note home to you. Geez.
Yes, we listen to country music and it's often on in the car when my son is driving with us. Most of the time, though, we have some kind of "nursery rhymes" CD in b/c that's what he likes.
Let him listen to whatever music YOU think is appropriate (he's your kiddo), but remind him when he starts to sing at home or in the car that it's not a "school song". You may want to mix in some "kid music" too- Laurie Berkner (sp?) is a huge celeb in our house!
I am so sorry but I had to laugh at how crazy that sounded - the daycare put a 3 year old in time out for singing about whiskey and how that was inappropriate! Wow! Anyway, first of all I'm surprised he can remember the words - my 5 year old isn't that into music so he never sings any of the songs we listen to on the radio. We do listen to contemporary Christian so I guess it would be "appropriate" if he sang in daycare!! Well, my brother and sis in law LOVE country music but I guess mostly listen to children's music in the truck or whatever when their 2 year old is with them (which is always right?) I did just buy her an Elmo DVD at Walmart in which he sings country music - maybe your son would like that too. And gosh I don't know what to tell you - I think country music is tame compared to a lot that is out there. And how are you going to stop a 3 yr old from singing? I wish you guys all the best!
Are you kidding?! My daughter watched Sweeney Todd with us when she was a year old. (We're theatre people so we operate under the dubious notion that if it's a musical it's fine.)
We sing her songs from Cabaret and Spring Awakening, and the occasional "Big Spender" rendition has been known to happen.
That's crazy. If anything, country music is some of the remaining "safe" music on standard radio stations, in my opinion!
Better than letting him listen to uncensored rap music and have him trying to "sling dope with pimps and hoes" at preschool! :)
Seriously yes they completely overreacted! My kids don't pay attention to the lyrics much, just like the beat of most songs. But I try to avoid certain songs if they are with me, but if I only listened to the wiggles or Disney CDs all day I'd have to drink whiskey! Lol..
I think it's important for all kids to learn about all different types/genres of music. They all have their place in history. I would tell him the only songs we should sing at school are the ones we sing with our teachers or at circle time, and the others are for the car or at home.