Disorderly Parent at Daycare

Updated on August 02, 2008
C.L. asks from Elcho, WI
11 answers

I am writing for a friend of mine. She does in-home daycare. One of the kids is a 3 yr old boy. His parents have severe behavior issues. The boy has broken furniture, pictures, toys and even kicked a small hole in the wall. When she told the dad about what was happening, the dad told his son "good job at daycare", and then just laughed it off. She has tried to talk to mom, but she just says "my son would never do anything like that". That was about 3 wks ago, now last week, week, the dad came to pick up his son, and the kid was throwing toys and hitting my friend, the dad "rewarded" him by saying he will take him to the DQ after they leave there. After he got him in his carseat, he pulled out of the driveway so fast, that he ran over my friends toe.
I keep asking her why she lets the kid stay, he can be replaced by another kid, she said she can't afford the down time in-between the kids. In the mean time, the kids continues to be destructive and the parent negligent. Any advice.

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A.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Where is her daycare? I have a 4 year old and 8 year old I am trying to place now. We are in the Plymouth are. Let me know if she is close ;-)

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S.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I agree with what everyone has said. I provide daycare out of my home, as well, and would never put up with that. She should start by placing an ad and trying to fill the spot. In the mean time, talk to both parents, letting them know exactly what she expects of them and what needs to change, or she will need to terminate care - with out any future notice. Then, as soon as she fills the spot, she can terminate care on the spot. Good luck to her. If she does nothing, things will get worse and she will lose other families she cares for.
S.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Omaha on

I run a daycare care also , tell her to put an ad on craiglist and she can replace him that fast. from craigslist i had got about 3 calls a day , so she can be choosey with them make them put down a deposit to keep their spot she'll get it.
nobody should have to put up with that!

1 mom found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

She needs to get rid of the child and charge them for the damage to the home. For all future clients a clause for payment for large damages needs to be added. My provider has one...if my son damages something expensive, I have one in the daycare contract I signed.

There are so many people looking for good daycare right now, that she should be able to fill the spot quickly or do what my provider is doing and take on people who need someone just for a few months--until she finds a full time kid.

It's costing her more to keep him there than to kick him out.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Omaha on

Plain and simple: Get rid of all of them. None of them will get any better if you continue to allow their behavior in your home. You have to think about the example they are giving the other kids. You have a right to be treated with respect in your own home. I do daycare too, and you have to lay down the rules for your home and daycare and stick to your guns or some parents will walk all over you. Perhaps when they have to find another sitter on short notice, they might wake up. Ask the other parents to help you find a replacement by offering a discount for one week.

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J.G.

answers from Wausau on

Your friend needs to get rid of that family! There is no reason to be treated that way in her home. She should start looking for a new family now, if she is worried about the $ and downtime before she found anyone else. Once she finds the new family for daycare she can give the 3 yr olds family their notice! I have done daycare for 12 years in my home and never have I had a family like that. To say nothing of how disrespectful the family is think of how his behavior is affecting her kids and the other kids in the daycare! It is her business and she needs respect in her business and home. Tell her to find a new family and then get rid of them!!!
Good Luck to her!

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T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

i say she needs to let the parents know that either thier childs behavior at daycare needs to change or they have a weeks notice to find another daycare. she says she cant afford the down time, well what is she gona do when the other parents pull thier kids out beacuse of the one boys behavior. if my son was there and she didnt do something about that child i would take my son out because i wouldnt want him arount that. would she rather replace 1 kid or more than one. it is not right that she has to deal with that and the parents need to step up and be parents and dicipline him. mabye she needs to report the parents for running over her toe and encouging bad behavior. i hope everything works out for her.

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J.M.

answers from Wausau on

If she thinks she can't afford the down time...can she afford the law suit when the kid gets hurt due to his behavior...or the downtime she will have when he causes hurt to another child. Get him and his parents out of her house ASAP. Maybe after being turned away enough they will start to listen.

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

She needs to lay down the law with the parents, which means a meeting with them that will discuss his behavior and a signed contract that states they control his behavior instead of rewarding it, or he has one week left in her daycare and he's done. She needs to type it up and have them sign it.

Also, when he is in her care, SHE is in control. She has every right to discipline that child while he is in her care, that is her job. If he's being destructive, she needs to take care of the situation right away. Its not going to do much good to tell the parents about it and expect them to take care of it hours after it happened..... but its her daycare, he is in her care, and its her job to discipline while he's in her care.

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T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I just want to say Ditto for all the other Moms. I agree completely to get that kid (AND his parents) out of your friend's home ASAP! If I was the mom of one of the other kids there, I'd be saying it's THAT kid or mine that's gonna go.

One more idea...especially if the other moms know what's going on...ask each of them to pitch in an extra 5 or 10 each week so as to have a bit of a buffer 'til the place can be filled. I can tell you, I have two boys in daycare, and if I could ante up 5 per kid so as to not have them around that horrid behavior, I would find a way to do it! If they don't know, have a meeting with the parents to let them know what's going on...and then ask for ideas before asking them to chip in...

Then, once the place is filled, have a holiday party with gifts for the kids, and/or give each parent a discount or free week later in the year.

Just a few thoughts...just get that family out of there NOW! :)

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V.

answers from Minneapolis on

It does not seem that the parents will listen. In fact they are only encouraging the behavior. The way I see it she has 2 choices; She accepts this behavior from both the parents or child or the kid needs to leave. I vote for the second.

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