Disinterested Teen

You can't "make" a teen do anything. Work with them, in a way that benefits both of you. If it is chores around the house, either have the teen do chores for allowance, or give consequences for not getting the chores done. (take away cell phone/grounding, etc.) The best way to deal with a difficult teenager is to not talk down to them. They are asserting independance, and it can backfire unless you have some good ground rules. And always communicate well! Good luck to you!

short answer: you can't.

You need to get them to buy in to whatever it is that you want done. Respect them and have a dialogue about what needs to get done and what benefits there are.

S., rewards charts are for preschoolers. This is a teenager. I have a teen. This age is way too old for a reward chart. Take away the ipod, the computer, cellphone, tv, the video games or whatever else your kid has, and don't allow them these things or plans with friends until their responsibilities are done. A teen should not earn rewards for doing chores, they should be part of expected behavior and if you don't do what is expected, punishment is next. Treat your teen like a teen. Lay down the law, tell him/her the expectations and follow up with the consequences.
Good luck

You probably don't....lol. Sorry but if this is something new that has been added to your home, getting your teenager to go along with it is probably just not going to happen. How old is this teen?? 13 or 18?? I think that rewards for doing chores for a teenager is going to be awfully hard to come up with. By this time I would hope that a teenager is willing to do things around the house just because it is the RIGHT thing to do.

You need to find the teen's currency - be it money, or video games, or whatever. If you want the kid to do the chores, be prepared to pay up somehow...
Teens want to be rewarded and not with a sticker chart.
We tell the kids that we want them to mow the lawn - it's 4 acres of lawn and it's not pleasant - and we pay them when they finish.
For household chores, we just make them do them or there is no tv, no video games, no phone, no nothing...
It's all about currency.
YMMV
LBC

Teens are way to old for a chart. What works with teens is what ever they cherish at that time take it away until what ever you want done is done. Teens love a little freedom, take it away until the teen IS interested in being a responsible part of your family.

Allowance, priviledges like tv, computer, free time? Maybe you list everyone's "duties" in the house...they will see how much you do compared to them. Everyone has to do their part in the family.

Updated

Allowance, priviledges like tv, computer, free time? Maybe you list everyone's "duties" in the house...they will see how much you do compared to them. Everyone has to do their part in the family.

i haven't found it to be effective, ever, to 'make' a teen do anything. it's pretty easy to motivate 'em though. the easy way is through negative motivation (no vid games or trips to the mall if you don't help out) but that will never garner you the willing cooperation you really want. i do not understand why parents turn over cell phones with unlimited texting to teenagers and then complain bitterly that their kids spend all their time texting their friends and ignoring their family. make that stuff a reward for helpfulness. but teenagers are adults-in-training. treat them thus. would you be motivated by a chore chart? nor is your teenager. talk to him. the world chugs along because people work together. a family is a microcosm for society at large. let him know how important and necessary his participation is, and be honest with him when you're frustrated and also be up front about your appreciation when he pitches in. very few teenagers are 100% on the lookout for opportunities to be of use to the family, it's a self-involved phase of life, so reminders and lax periods are part of the process. but if you are nothing but a goad, he has no incentive to ever do anything voluntarily. pretend he's a co-worker. how would handle that?
khairete
S.

I have two teen boys. One pretty helpful and responsible and the other oh not so much, unless he wants something. So I use that as my currency and when he wants to do something he has to have his responsibilities done. I've also stopped doing things for them, until they get their jobs done or are willing to help me. It usually works when I am non emotional and just calmly tell him, well, I would love to do x for you, but I"m still waiting for that front lawn to be mowed as I asked yesterday.... it gets done mighty quickly when they want something. I also make sure to tell them how much I appreciate what they do, when they do things w/o my asking or when they jump right in to help. Thank them, thank them and thank them...

NO teen will ever be interested in doing anything unless there is something to gain by doing so.

I grew up WAY fast and my "wants & needs" became my responsibility to a partial extent. Both of my parents lost their jobs when I was 16 and working at Burger King. Not that my parents had a lot of money to work with in the first place. My child support (from my dad) was paying for the groceries for the entire family ($130/wk for my mom, stepdad, 2 older teen stepbros, and me) and I was paying the gas and electric with my BK paycheck. I also bought my own "toys" and clothes. Why? Because my family simply didn't have the means to do anything about it. I wanted to be able to have food and take a hot shower.

That experience showed me how to appreciate the little things we all take for granted. And that's why no one will hear me complain about getting up and going to work every day.

There are ways to help your teen learn to appreciate the little things in life. Don't GIVE them anything. Make em earn it. I'm not saying force a job. But if your child doesn't want to mow the lawn or take out the garbage, turn down the hot water tank to minimum when they shower. Or when they ask for $5 to go to McD's... Tell them no. I know it's only $5... But it's still something they don't need.

Good luck.

A teenager is too old of a rewards/chore chart. If my parents tried to get me to follow a rewards chart as a teen I probably would have been highly offended. A teenager, whether they deserve/act like it or not wants to be treated like an adult, not a child. I would try a different strategy, something much more mature. Make a list of certain chores that may be daily, and then on a calendar mark weekly chores i.e. Taking the garbage out - MONDAYS. Mowing the lawn - Saturday or Sunday. Give them some things they have to do now, and some chore that they can time manage themselves give or take a day but they all have to be done that week. Teenagers are tough, mine isn't that age yet, but I certainly remember being one! I myself can honestly say that I hated being told what to do, but if it was said in more of a suggestion or if was able time manage it myself I was much less reluctant to do so. Just a thought!

I have to agree with previous posters: you can't really "make" a teen do anything. I'm going to disagree, however, with the notion that punishing them to death by taking away everything they like is the answer. (If you don't agree with me, put yourself in your own teenage shoes and think about it. Would punishment persuade you to incorporate helping out into your own ethics, or would it just piss your teen self off and start a S.-long battle?)

When we ask our children to do things beyond the scope of their self-interest, it's good to have a talk about why it's important to you. I'm not sure the "tit for tat" exchange is the best method, but tweaking it to point out that "gee, you know, we have a lot of housework to do and I will be more available to help you if we can have some cooperative assistance from you (and siblings, if any)." Then, it's important to have a conversation about which jobs your child would like to take on. Teenage girls? Maybe laundry would be idea, so they could make sure their favorite clothes are washed when they want them. Does your kid like to cook? How about letting them suggest a menu of a few meals to plan.

I think it's important to let them chime in on this. One book that can give you some tools for approaching these kinds of conversations (or any challenging situation where you and your child are in disagreement) is "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen...and How to Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Faber and Mazlish. Teens want to be respected and heard, and they are may need continuous help staying on track with chores. If you want to know what might motivate your teen (if you are wanting to use a reward), ask them to think about it. Are they saving up for something special--could you match it with a dollar for every day that chores get done without trouble? Do they want some help in the way of transportation to a special S. attraction that's out of town. The most important thing of all is to teach our children that their contributions have a positive affect on the family. There needs to be some give and take, but hopefully the lesson is being a participant in the betterment of the family community.

To that end, I'd also suggest making checking in with your teen regarding some family plans a priority too. (Once again, the book has wonderful advice for that). You don't have to follow every suggestion--just listening helps--, but if you are expecting more adult behavior from your teen, it needs to be shown some reciprocity.

Have you tried the I Tunes reward card for work well done?

Simply start from ground zero. Take away everything that matters to them and have them earn it back as their reward. This is your currency. Do nothing for them, laundry, do not drive them anywhere, turn off the hot water heater when they shower, when the hot water runs out they will get out, At your circuit breaker turn off the electricity to their room. Get an alarm clock with batteries. If they ask for money say no. Be strong you will only help them gain a work ethic in the end if you are consistent & creative.

no charts. They could care less. They want money, video games, money, computer time, friend time. Get more stuff with more chores done. Mine only puts away the dishes, we are on day two of telling to do it.

By starting the chores/rewards chart when they at 5. When they reach their teen years, rewards are known as consequences, chores are choices. You shouldn't have to be 'paid' to do the work that needs to be done as a matter of routine.

So instead of giving something for work done as a routine chore, take privleges away for things not being done in an appropriate amount of time.
Disinterest is a facet of teenage years. Take a look at what the chore is and discuss why it needs to happen, what happens when it doesn't from the chore prespective, not the pulling of a privlege... but what the chore accomplishes or provides for in your daily lives. See if you can't make doing it relevant to your teenager and then maybe there will be some interest in getting it done. It's not about the reward.