Designating a Writing Hand for My Son?

Updated on January 19, 2013
S.L. asks from Moab, UT
36 answers

I'm right handed and my husband is left handed. My 3 1/2 year old son is in preschool and apparently he writes/ colors/ etc with both hands. He has an incredible hand-eye coordination and is also very good with physical tasks (sports, games, etc). The other day when my husband picked up my son from preschool, one of the teachers mentioned that he uses both hands when they are trying to get him to write/ trace and they were wondering if we had a preference and suggested that we pick one. We are thinking that we don't want to right now... what do you ladies think?
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

He will pick one on his own. Tell them to let him use whichever hand he prefers, and to not push him to use either hand as he will settle into the dominant hand on his own. According to this article, some children don't establish the dominant hand till between 4-6 years old.

http://www.everydayfamily.com/hand-dominance-when-will-i-...

6 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

You do not have to designate a hand.
He is the way he is.
Nothing wrong with it.
The Teachers should let him be.

He is so young.
"You" cannot pick one for him.
He, will do that.

I am right handed, but I also do certain things with my left hand.
My son is the same way, as well as with footwork... when skateboarding he can do both right or left footed. And when playing tennis.

6 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Pick one? His own brain will pick one or he'll be ambidextrous. My DH uses one hand for writing and the other for many other tasks. I'd tell the teachers you will continue to allow him to choose and he can practice with both.

5 moms found this helpful

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I would be very concerned about the quality of the day care if this is their typical thinking. Whoever told you, you need to pick a hand for your son is about 100 years behind the times. If attitudes like this continue I would be choosing a new day care.

9 moms found this helpful

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

We've always put the crayon etc in the middle and let them pick which hand to use. We did notice after a while that they were much better with one than the other. We never pushed which one though. Eventually they would use the one that frustrated them the least, ie the most dominate hand.
Some people can use both hands equally. It can happen.
I would not pressure either way at this point and tell the preschool not to either.

7 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Every member of my family is ambidextrous. Writing hands sort themselves out. Three of my four kids right with their right hands, one left. Even the left handed child does every other task with her right.

I am right handed for fine motor skills, gross I naturally do left.

The brain is an interesting thing is it not? :)

7 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

At our son's preschool screening the woman doing the screening told me that I should talk to our pediatrician about which hand our son should be using. I thought it was crazy! I'm not going to force him to choose a hand. He can throw just as hard and as accurate with both hands. I'm counting on him being a major league switch pitcher and taking care of me financially in my old age! ;)

6 moms found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Are you kidding...pick one. What is wrong with letting him pick one? I would watch over things because she is probably going to encourage him to pick a hand because that is what she believes. I would talk to the director and see what their thoughts are on this and if they believe for one minute that we should decide for a child what hand they write with, I would leave.

What does she want you to do? Flip a coin?

6 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

Don't designate ANYTHING. He will do it himself when he is ready. He actually may be one of the unusual people who can write with both hands.

He is very young now. Leave it be.

The teachers are preschool teachers. That is their profession. They are not doctors or psychologists. You need to tell them NOT to push your child to pick a hand. It's not their place to do this. Only with a SPECIALIST'S direction should they do this.

Dawn

6 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

No way!! He will choose. AND, using both hands is very useful.

5 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Both of my daughters were exactly like that at age 3.5. They had an amazing preschool teacher who advised us not to select for them, or subtly influence them to pick one hand or the other. That meant putting crayons in the middle, handing them things to both hands (one at a time, of course). Both of my kids turned out to be lefties. It took until they were almost five that we were sure.

5 moms found this helpful
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A.T.

answers from New York on

Absolutely correct of you to think!!! Let him choose the hand he wants to use. My husband was originally a lefty and his grandmother made him write with his right. My husband, 'til this day feels as if though he is "crooked". He also can't help but wonder what he would have accomplished had he been left alone to write with his left hand. It was a superstition on his grandmother's behalf that made her force him to use his right. Bizarre right, yet he feels things may have been different. Encourage the ambedextrous use and your son will eventually pick one.

5 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

i agree. you don't choose this. neither does his teacher. if he is doing as well as you say, leave him alone. and politely tell the teacher you intend to let him figure it out :)

4 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Why in the world would you need to "pick one"?? He will, eventually. I would tell them to let him use whichever hand he wants for any task.

4 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I say that you let HIM decide what hand he wants to color and draw with. I have never heard of someone "picking" their child's writing/coloring hand.
L.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

He doesn't need to write, he isn't even 4! Let time tell.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.E.

answers from New York on

hes only in preschool so he cant be writing very much.. i think once he starts having to write more frequently he will figure out for himself which one he wants to use

3 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Dont!!! My oldest son was that way, and he ended up being a lefty. My husband always said when he was little, he tried to write with his left hand, but all of his teachers would take his pencil out of his left hand and put it in his right hand. And his writing is horrible. Your son is pretty young still and I'd just let him figure it out on his own. You never know, he could end up being ambidextrous, and that would be cool!!

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

he'll settle into one or t'other at some point on his own. i disagree with the teacher's suggestion to force anything on him.
and how cool would it be if he ends up truly ambidextrous? it's unlikely, but wow!
khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

No need to pick one. The teachers can work with whatever he chooses at any particular time. He may choose one someday, or use both. Either one is perfectly ok.

2 moms found this helpful
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F.C.

answers from Tampa on

Tell the teacher...."The choice is NOT yours or ours. The choice is HIS. You are to do Nothing to influence it in anyway shape or form. "

This is a sore subject as I have 3 daughters - 2 are lefties and 1 a righty - and we had one teacher try to change one daughter from a lefty to a righty. Uhm I don't think so, I finally had to put into writing to the teacher, principal and a copy for my daughter to keep with her for substitutes - that ONLY my daughter was to choose which hand she used for any activity and if there was an issue to call me directly.

2 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from New York on

Tell them that you do not want him forced to use one hand vs the other. Let him choose and if he is lucky he will maintain the ability to use both hands

2 moms found this helpful
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K.W.

answers from Youngstown on

My son did everything with his left hand for the first 3 years of his life. Then slowly once he began writing he switched to his right. I thought for sure he would be a lefty but he is now 5 and uses his right hand for coloring and writing. Let you son choose on his own it will happen in due time.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

He doesn't need a preference. Do nothing. He will probably lean one way or the other when he is a little older, but it would be cool if he stayed ambidextrous.

2 moms found this helpful
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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

Nope. My husband is ambidextrous. At some point, the child will choose what's more comfortable -- my husband writes and eats left handed, but bats and plays tennis right handed, but when he was a kid, he did everything both handed. Our son was doing everything with both hands at age 3 as well, but I'd just ask him which hand he wanted to use each time if he reached with both. If he reached with one, it was his choice. He's now right handed.

By the way -- fun fact -- only 10% of people are truly left handed, while 20% are actually ambidextrous.

2 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Tell the teachers to pound sand. Simple as that. THAT is NOT their call to make.

I am ambidextrous. My oldest son is ambidextrous and youngest is a righty - but knows how to use his left.

Your son will make the choice when he's ready. If they force the issue? I would pull him from that school. And I would tell them that as well. They are NOT to force him to choose a hand. It's THAT simple.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

my son did the same thing. On the form for kindergarten, when it said hand preference, the preschool teacher actually wrote a ?. Eventually in kindergarten he did pick right hand (or someone did it for him). I really sometimes question if he should have picked the other based on his grip and writing, but he is so used to the right hand now he said the left feels weird. Leave him alone. Around age 5-5 1/2 he will figure it out on his own.

1 mom found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

In time he will use which ever one is more comfortable for him or he may end up always using both. Either way I dont think anyone should choose it for him.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Do not make an ambidextrous child choose a preferred hand. Let him use whichever he he prefers at any given moment.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Green Bay on

I would not force him to pick one. He is still very young. I had some kids in kindergarten that would still periodically go back and forth! He will eventually decide one is easier. Who knows - he could be ambidextrous (able to perform skills efficiently with either hand)!

ETA - I think my brother was "supposed to be" a lefty, but like some others said, teachers "encouraged" (aka FORCED) him to use his right hand. So, he writes with his right hand, but does everything else with his left!! :-) His writing is also VERY difficult to read...

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

Nope. As her ages, he will likely begin showing a clear hand preference on his own. If he doesn't this would be a sign of neurological immaturity (dyspraxia) which could be a concern developmentally. His current age is too young for that concern. Let him do what feels right for him.

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Don't choose for him, he will choose when he is ready. We have a similar situation I am a righty and hubby is a lefty. Our daughter is a lefty and our son is a righty. If the daycare feels a choice is necessary to teach him writing etc. tell them to ask your son to pick up his crayon. Once he picks it up go ahead with the lesson, he has chosen a hand for that moment. Regardless of which hand he is using and if he uses a different hand each time, there is no harm in that. He is 3 and how fortunate he would be to be ambidextrous. Please don't let the daycare force you or him into that choice at this age.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I agree that you and hubby shouldn't "pick one" but rather pay attention to which one he uses more or better.

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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

I agree to let him decide which hand he tends to use most naturally. I am left handed but there are multiple things I do with my right hand. For example, I could never use left handed scissors, so I taught myself to use the right handed ones. I can write pretty neatly with my right hand, although much more slowly.
He still has plenty of time to get in the habit of learning to write letters. I would not force him to pick one hand or the other either.
HTH,
A.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Do not pick for him. He will choose himself. He is 3 1/2,

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

i think you're right-let it go for now.

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