Daughter Potty Trained at 2 1/2 Yrs. Now 3 and Having Little Accidents

Updated on November 23, 2011
D.B. asks from Oak Lawn, IL
13 answers

My daughter has been potty trained for 5 months and now all of the sudden I noticed that when she goes to the bathroom, there is a couple of drips on her underwear. It seems like she will tell me she has to go to the bathroom and then she runs into the bathroom and something catches her attention before she actually gets on the toilet and then she dribbles a little in her underwear. I have yelled at her and told her that only babies go potty in there pants. I have not spanked her nor will I, but I did put a diaper back on her one day and said if you are going to be a baby then I will put a diaper on you. That soon came of and she put her underwear back on. She tells me she doesn't want to pee in her pants, but then she does do it again and again. I am not sure if it is some behavioral problem or does she have a health issue. Is this a phase. What are your thoughts.

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So What Happened?

I would like to say thank you to everyone for their feedback. I am glad that other moms out their are experiencing or have experienced what i am going through. I will say today my husband and i were both making sure that she went to the bathroom. Believe it or not she stayed dry all day. I awarded her and praised her. There was no yelling or disciplining. I explained to her what a good job she has done. She was.so.excited when i told her i was going to give her a surprise for doing a great job. We will see as the days go on. Thanks again foryour support. Happy Holidays!

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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

I know it's frustrating, but this really isn't at all unusual. Try to stay positive. Here's some info you might find helpful:

http://www.childperspective.com/potty-training/toilet-tra...

Hang in there! :)

1 mom found this helpful

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S.D.

answers from Austin on

Yelling and shaming her are only going to make it worse and give her emotional issues as well. Accidents are still going to happen and you need to keep things positive and encouraging. Like you said, something catches her attention. So, maybe you need to stay with her all the way to the potty until the accidents are under control. Or give incentives for keeping her panties dry. She's actually doing very well to be this far along.

5 moms found this helpful
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P.M.

answers from Portland on

It's a pretty common phase. Lots of toddlers put some good enthusiasm into making the switch to underwear and enjoy the accomplishment of a new skill mastered. But then the ongoing responsibility hits, and they are less enthusiastic.

Rather than yelling or shaming, which might get a child feeling less capable, I'd stress the advantages of staying in pretty panties. Sympathize with her understandable distraction from getting the job done, but tie accidents to a natural consequence, like making her take care of her own underwear; getting it to the laundry room, foldilng it and putting it away when dry. And teaching her a routine for cleaning herself off after a leak. Point out casually that it's faster and easier to get to the bathroom on time.

And don't give up on appreciating her potty successes, not with a crazy dance or anything, but just a smile, a touch on the shoulder, a "I'll bet you're proud of yourself, just like I am!" occasionally. Kids want and need notice for their accomplishments, even after they're old hat.

I'd also avoid telling her only babies wet themselves. Technically, it's not true. Many women do, too, after childbearing or at menopause. You don't want to give her too great a horror of accidents – they are embarrassing enough!

3 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I think it's a normal phase. Be grateful it's just a little drip in her panties. My daughter has been regressing for about three weeks now too and has been pretty tough on my sofa. It's only when we are home. If we go out and about she can stay dry all day. Getting angry will serve no purpose, except to shame your daughter and possibly make it worse. You can try to go back to diapers for a little while, but if yours is anything like mine, she won't stay in it (especially if she associates it with being a baby). So...we ruled out any medical issues. My daughter is fine. ANd we have started a reward system. I have these little stones (the circle kinds people often put around plants or the bottom of fish bowls). We call them treasures. When my daughter makes it she gets a treasure to put in her box (which is simply an old water bottle that she drops it into). If she has an accident we don't scream, yell or shame (even though there are days I really want too because it is so darn frustrating!), we simply have her clean up the mess and herself and she has to take out two pieces of treasure. When she gets all the treasure, she gets a toy we bought for her. Yes...it's bribing her. But this mama is desperate to go back to pee pee free days. My patience, washer and furniture can't handle it.

3 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

It's pretty normal. I wouldn't threaten her with diapers or tell her she's a baby, even though it does get frustrating. It defeats the purpose of progressing... especially since it's just a few little accident drops. Have her put her dirty underwear in the laundry, wipe up and get new clean underwear. Usually, kids get distracted doing other things and truly just forget to go until it's too late, especially around this age. Try reminding her to go more frequently until she's back on track. Both my boys did this until they were almost 4!

*read your update, Way to go!!

2 moms found this helpful
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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

Perfectly normal. Just ignore it, don't make a big deal out of it, and it will pass soon.

2 moms found this helpful
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N.O.

answers from Chicago on

Honestly, it seems a little mean that you would yell at her like that. She is only 3. Yelling at her, and putting a diaper on her, while using the words that you did, would only shame her. I'm a little horrified. Please be gentle with your daughter.

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C.R.

answers from Seattle on

I think that's extremely normal. In fact, I'd be so envious of a mom who never had to deal with little accidents and think she just might be lying! :) Do you remind your daughter to use the potty? My daughter STILL needs reminders and she's 3 1/2. She once in a great while has dribbles in her panties. Also, she had a UTI not too long ago and was dribbling in her panties, but had no other symptoms. I'd take your daughter in just to be sure. Ask her if it hurts to go potty or if her tummy hurts at all.

Honestly, I think yelling at her will only make her feel stressed and anxious about the potty. I think you'll set her up for failure because if she becomes anxious about using the toilet you're going to see a whole lot more regression than just a few drops in panties. If you get into a power struggle with her over this she might flat out refuse to get on the potty at all. Kids progress and regress ALL the time and it's totally normal. Just relax, breathe, this too shall pass.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Do not yell at her. Try as you may, you absolutely can NOT physically make her not have accidents. She'll figure that out soon enough and use it to control the situation. It can become a huge power struggle, and the harder you fight it, the harder she'll fight back by having accidents. Don't mention it at all or make a big deal out of it at all. She's probably just getting very involved in life and it delays her going to the bathroom and she leaks a little on the way. If you want to do something, start giving her a little reward when she makes it to the potty without leaking (Look! No leaks! Great job - here's a sticker!). If she does leak don't mention it. If she leaks and she asks for a reward say very nicely "Not this time because you leaked a bit. Next time lets try to get you to the toilet faster so that you don't leak and you'll get a reward."

1 mom found this helpful
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M.D.

answers from Chicago on

Accidents happen, even if you dont want them to, they just happen.

that is what we say A LOT at our house about everything.

I wouldn't yell, even tho you are frustrated, they usually feel bad already.
Just get on with your day.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.F.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter will be 3 on sunday and she is doing the same thing. I think it is a phase. She has had a couple of accidents lately and they always happen when she gets really into something. Dont worry to much and i always remind myself she is only 2 and almost 3. Have her "do laundry" if you think it will help.

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I.O.

answers from Chicago on

It's pretty normal. My daughter is ten and I still remember those days well. We did two things to help get through the phase. First, she had to help wash her own undies - even if she had something more fun to do. Second, her "back-up" clothes were not her favorites. So she knew that if she had to change clothes she might be wearing something old that she didn't really like ( she was a fashionista even at a young age). The key is to keep your patience and find something that will work as an incentive for her.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I have four children and have worked in daycare for many years. Just yesterday I had a 4 year old have an accident because he was having a very busy and exciting day and waited too long. It is very common once a child gets potty trained they kind of end up "taking it for granted" and waiting till the last minute. They feel as if they have mastered it and their attention turns to other things. I think some gentle reminders to stop and go potty during the day should do it. Also if you see her doing the potty dance by all means ask her to stop what she is doing and go potty. We all wait too long sometimes, especially when we are preoccupied. I wouldn't worry about her regressing and I don't feel there is a need to threaten her with wearing diapers. She sounds like she really wants to be using the potty and I think some reminders during the day should keep her on track.

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