Daughter Flunking Two Classes

My daughter is in the 7th she also flunked math both this year so far and last year. She is good at math but just don't understand what the teacher teaches. Don't know what school she attends but try a homework club or some one in her class. Don't how she gets along with the tutor maybe not enough patience with her. Also try to get help from the teacher. That is what i did and beleive it or not it worked she now has a C- in the class. Good Luck

I'm a math teacher. What math is she taking? (Basic, Pre-Algebra, Algebra?) What kind of tutoring is she getting -- peer, college student, teacher? What type of science is it? Math and science are closely linked. About the not doing HW for Science -- do you know why? Sometimes its because kids don't like the teacher, the class/classmates, while other times it is just to rebel against parents. As a teacher I'm not allowed to say this, but honestly some kids just don't get abstract math until they're 25 yrs old, while some people never do. The biggest problem I have w/ students in Algebra is that the can't do fractions, decimals, percents and just forget about word problems(the whole point of math in the first place). Some can't even do multiplication tables.

Does the teacher give any practice tests she could do w/ tutor? Also don't be afraid to look for a different tutor.
Let me know if I can be of more help. I'm in North OC.

It sounds like she may have test anxiety. It usually manifests from something deeper that she is feeling. Talk to her about other things that may cause her fear. You may need to get more outside help for her.

A. G.

Hi M.,

Here are a couple more things to consider...

1) What time of day does your daughter have these classes? Could she be tired or hungry at those times? Is she eating a healthy, protein based breakfast that will give her brain the fuel it needs to learn? Is she eating a healthy lunch to last through her afternoon classes?

2) Has your daughter mastered the basics of math: addition, subtraction, multiplication, division? Oftentimes, middle school kids start flunking math because they can no longer hide the fact that they don't know their math basics...and they're too ashamed to admit it. Math is one of those "building block" style classes...if you don't get the stuff from before, it's almost impossible to learn the current stuff. Hopefully, her tutor is working things from that angle. Maybe it's time for a new tutor, if this one isn't successful?

3) Have you ruled out issues such as vision and hearing problems? It's amazing how long kids will go without telling their parents they can't see the board (and sitting in front is uncool). I faked my way through school with a serious hearing loss because I always sat up front (I was very uncool <wink>), so I know just how easy it is to hide these things.

As a classroom teacher (junior high and high school) of 16 years, these are the most often overlooked causes of poor grades that I've run across, both for my own children and my students.

You don't mention this in your post, so I'm wondering how you handle homework time, extra curricular activities, tv, phone use and all that. Does your daughter lose fun priveleges as a result of her poor grades? Do you provide time and space for her to do her homework, up to and including sitting with her at a desk or table to supervise (maybe doing studies of your own to model the behavior)? Do your household rules convey the message that education and good grades are the most important things? Students are incredibly perceptive and they know when parents are fussing because that's what parents should do and when parents really mean it. It's also amazing how many parents want their kids to get good grades but don't give their students the time and space to do it, favoring other activities. It's all about choices and tradeoffs and dealing with the consequences of those choices, both positive and negative.

Last but not least, research your district's policies regarding advancement to high school. In my district, if 8th graders don't have enough math credit, they're held back for another year of junior high. Perhaps being stuck in junior high another year, might jumpstart your student.

This is a tough situation. Hang in there! Good luck!

Hello M.,

Being a single mother is hard work. Sometimes when kids struggle in an area of education they get to a point where they give up. I believe in the power of prayer for every issue in my life. Pray about what's happening in your daughters life. It could be something more than just school. Remember parenting is not for cowards. And you taking in your daughter as a foster mother is a total act of courage and love. Kids at that age are hitting a very critical time in their life. Stay as close as you can to her and never take her for granted. I have 5 children and love them deeply. God is the only one who has given me the strenght and the courage to get by through the years. Allow "Him" to do the same for you. I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers

i would also wonder if she feels motivated to learn the materials. with math especially you have to get one thing before the next and is really hard when you get behind. i have a daughter that had really struggled with math but by 8th and now 9th grade is doing great. she is very self motivated tho.

my son on the other hand has always been great at math but doesnt seem to have the motivation to do the work. he does well on the test but wont do homework. i am trying very hard to instill recponcibility in him. knowing that when he gets into high school he will need to complete homework for the grade and that as you get older the teachers assume less and less of the recponciblity.

good luck and neither of you should give up. it will take time, work and patience from both of you.

I would make a rule with her that all homework must be completed daily and that if she has incomplete homework or does not do it at all that she will be grounded in some form. Think of something she really enjoys and withhold that from her for the day if she does not do homework. I would have a conference with the teacher by telephone or in person to see what behaviors she is observing from your daughter in the class and also ask the teacher whether there is any type of extra credit work your daughter can do to bring up her grades. I would make an effort to spend time with your daughter talking about other things and doing things besides homework so that you can learn her interests, etc. ( I am not saying that you have not done any of this already, just trying to give you ideas in what direction to go.) Also, I would have her leave her watch at home on test days. I am saying this because she may have test anxiety and worry about if the time is running out on her ( I know this because I do have it and it started around middle school age...my math teacher made that recommendation to leave my watch at home and it seemed to help somewhat). Best of luck to you. I think everyone goes through their children not doing well in school at some time and it is very frustrating because you want them to achieve their full potential. I really wish you the best...I hope whatever advice you choose to follow helps the situation.

Hi M.,

I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this. I think one of the best ways to help her is by teaching her that you don't give up and continue reaching out until you find the solution.

Perhaps trying another tutor? Also, talk with her teacher, and school counselor about strategies to help her during the test to avoid "blanking out"

I also pray that you will get connected with people. I am also a single mom without family support, but have surrounded my children and I with lots of supportive friends. If you don't feel you have a place to start, a church is a great place to call for support.

Best wishes

The reason your daughter goes blank is that she's not really understanding what she's studying. She has misunderstood words in both math and science. Since math and science have basically their own set of words and terms, when a word is used that she doesn't understand, she is going to go blank. If you want to know more about why this happens and how to remedy it, send me a message. There are some really good glossaries you can use to help. She's not dumb she just needs to clear up her words.

It sounds like she is flunking math and not getting it because she is not doing the homework. Homework is meant to be a tool for students to practice the skills taught in class. It is like asking someone to play an all-star game and expecting them to win without ever practicing. That just doesn't work well. She fails the test (performance) because she hasn't practiced. You say she is being tutored, you may want to find a different tutor who might be better at explaining the concepts in her terms. Also, who is she being tutored by? Peer tutor? Teacher? Professional tutoring service? I would also get in touch with her teachers about your very valid concerns. Ask them about using homework contracts. This may help her get her homework done and turned in for credit. These contracts usually have rewards for sticking to the agreede upon terms and loss of privelages when the contract is broken. Contracts usually run week to week. I am sure if you do a google search for homework contracts it will turn up many good ideas. Be creative, communicate as much as you can with her teachers. I have a feeling she is failing science for the same reasons as math. Give yourself a big pat on the back! I commend for all your hard work as a single parent and taking the time and effort to ensure your daughters academic success! Kudos to you! Good luck, keep us posted. If you have any questions feel free to contact me!

D.

I was HORRIBLE at math in school. I did get Ds and a few Fs in the junior high years. I just did not get it, and my mind, too, went blank during tests. My mom tried tutoring, but it was just more of the same. I still didn't get it and it made me feel like an idiot! With a 145 IQ, that is simply not the case but I didn't realize that back then. In 7th grade I was put in a remedial math class and it was the only time I ever got good grades in math. That class was the best! I actually understood. My mom, a teacher and principal, was not much help. All I ever heard was how I wasn't trying, I wasn't living up to my potential, I wasn't working at it hard enough. That just sucked all willingness to try right out of me and caused me to feel misunderstood and unsupported. The thing to remember is that grades are just grades, but your relationship with your daughter is light-years more important. I went on to become a successful adult. My lack of math skills never hurt me. I actually worked in the accounting field for 14 years, and now I run a successful non-profit organization. My youngest son is currently in the third grade and struggling to learn his times tables. He came home from school earlier this week quite upset because his teacher had written on one of his math tests "You are falling behind!" You'd better believe that I am not going to be making the mistakes my mom did in this area. My son is a great kid, and very smart. If math is his weak area, I can certainly relate. We will find fun ways to work on this, but I will never, ever make him feel like he is lacking in some way because he "doesn't get it". I've learned that few things matter less in life than how you did in math in junior high. Hang in there! Try new and creative ways to help her, the internet is full of them. Try Sylvan. try a new tutor. Sit down and do her homework with her. Be a hands-on mom. You signed up for this, and 12 is where the rubber starts to hit the road when it comes to parenting.

It must be difficult for you being a single mom, juggling work and caring for your child. I suspect that your daughter might also be craving your time and attention, since you must be very busy trying to manage your work life, home life, and daughter's life.

She might just prefer that you spend time with her helping her with homework (even if she doesn't realize that). Maybe that quality time is what it takes to motivate her.

I have a 12 year old boy and we have to stay on him constantly. I am not great with math, so I sought help from the school district here in Long Beach. They have free tutoring at the Parent Center's in the district after school. I also talk with his teachers using email. There is an online program that the district just started using this year that helps alot. Try to go to your daughter's teachers or counselor, or even the office staff for suggestions.
I know how frustrating it is. I wish the best for you and your daughter.

http://www.learningsuccessinstitute.com/
Please read the book DISCOVER YOUR CHILD'S LEARNING STYLE - Children Learn in Unique Ways - Here is the Key to Every Child's Success

This really helped me understand MYSELF (how I learn, how I see the world, confirmed what I love and don't, what I respond to and don't) and helped me understand my children.

I still want to do the online learning style assessment for me and my 8 yr old son. For me so I can best "reach" my son (who "hates" school.)

The problem with tutoring sometimes is that they are using the same methods to teach in class... which isn't working for your daughter. Maybe she is an auditory learner... and needs to hear herself speak aloud for her to "get it." Maybe she is very visual and would do best if she saw drawings (not boring, basic numbers) of math examples come alive for her. I HIGHLY recommend this book! It's so great and it can't hurt! You are already spending big bucks on tutors... but understanding her learning style will help both of you (and the tutor.)

time to be tough with her, put her on a contract, you have to be the homework police, your letting her get away with this, is why.. talk to the teacher, if she misses any homework no tv and start taking things from her, nip this is the butt now mom , when she reaches high school, she will not know what hits her there is tons of homework

The best thing that worked for my children that were doing less than great was me being in constant contact with their teachers via email. I'm in Las Vegas, NV and at the time they had an "In-touch" program for parents to log onto the website and see current grades and missing assignments. They've just changed it to "parent-link." I'm not sure if San Diego has something like that. BUT, generally most (if not all teachers) have email that they are very good at keeping up on. Ask them for assignments or what ways you can help your child.

I've noticed that if I can keep up with what they are turning in or NOT turning in, it can start to improve grades. Also, what has helped in the past is to have set homework time where I am available to help them and where I can see that they are actually doing it. It's SO normal for them to not be into school at that age. Both my teens went through it (my 8 year old even does!) and still fall into it if I don't keep up on their assignments and with their teachers. One of my teens is definitely better about keeping up on her own than the other, but it's just a personality thing. Good luck and don't give up! :O)

HI M.,
By any chance has she been tested by her school for learning disabilities? There are a variety of them out there that can affect a child's performance in math and science. If she does have a disability than tutoring may be of no help to her.

the first thing i want to say is make sure your daughter knows that you support her, that you are on her side and you want to help. that already shows, since you have arranged a tutor for her and you are obviously concerned, but i have found that it is so very important that our kids know we are there for them. the public school system has a way of making them feel like failures if they can't "get it" or if they have difficulty learning the way their peers are able to learn. it really irritates me actually, b/c kids who are bright and confident totally change b/c of things they are told at school: they lose confidence and think they are failures when, in my opinion, the system has failed them by making it so hard to feel successful. there are way too many demands on kids; i absolutely do not believe the amount of homework and the level of difficulty of classwork they are getting. it is so different from when i was a kid -- it's like they are not even allowed to be kids anymore!! i don't know if i am helping, i basically just want to say that the system is imperfect and kids get crushed within it everyday.
now that is enough about the school system. i think that your daughter does need to do her part. she needs to be trying her best, otherwise she does have to accept some responsibility for the difficulties she's having. i suggest giving her extra privliges if she does her homework and any other "simple things" she can to help herself, and consequences if she does not do those things.
she does need to try. i feel sympathetic for her (and for "kids these days" in general); however, they still need to work their hardest to put forth effort to succeed.

I am not a teacher but I know my daughter struggled in comprehensive reading. We sent her to Sylvan and this made a tremendous difference. She is in College now and was in Sylvan through the late junior high first of high school. I see her papers and they are outstanding. Sometimes the children just need a different study program to "get it". I really recommend.

Oh, 7th graders...I teach 7th grade Lang.Arts/Social Studies, but I know the story. It's a really hard year for kids. They're stuck in the middle, obsessed with socializing, and hormonally distracted. Honestly, there's a TON of research about how, chemically, 7th grade is typically a challenging year. Hang in there.

You're right that doing simple assignments should keep your daughter from an F. However, starting at this age, she needs to be intrinsically motivated to succeed. They are no longer willing to work hard for external purposes (like parental approval). So, you need to figure out a way to motivate her otherwise.

Begin opening communication with her teachers. Have your daughter copy down her assignments in a planner every day and get it signed by her teachers. That way, you know the work has been written down accurately. When she gets home, you can check and make sure she completes the work. Then, initial your name in the planner, showing the teacher that she did finish the work, in case it doesn't show up in class the next day.

Email your daughter's teachers once a week requesting her current grade in their classes. Ask if they are available for additional help (at lunch, b/f or after school).

Have your daughter set a goal. Maybe there's an event she's looking forward to that you can tell her, "If you have a C by then, you can go." The most important thing to remember is to stick with it. If she pulls off a D+ by the time of the event, don't let her go. Have her set another goal. This time, just maybe she'll pull it off.

Best of luck to you! You're already doing a great job, just by asking for help. She's lucky to have you!!!

My son is the same age, and is having the same problem in science. Last year was even worse. I had to hand deliver his late assignments because he would "forget" to turn them in. Yes, I agree that sounds rediculous, but I didn't want him to fail. I have backed off this year because he seems to be more responsible as far as the homework goes. Obviously your daughter is struggling in the math and science, but this is still the first quarter. Her class will move onto parts that she understands. I really think it's a maturity thing too. So many successful people I know (one a dr. and one a lawyer) at one point did terrible in shcool. We all learn at our own levels. I completely agree with another response from ateacher that 12 years old kids aren't completely developmentally ready for the more advanced math concepts. Don't worry she'll be fine. Make sure you check her homework planner every day (if your school uses them), and remind her that your on her side. (Tough age...isn't it!)

M.-
Have you looked into Kumon? It's like Sylvan but it gives the child more self responsibility. It's also a lot cheaper. What's probably happening is the same thing my son went through... he was missing something from a few levels ago. They will give an aptitude test that will show them where to start with her and go from there. The do not offer a science program but the math is very effective and they give Kumon dollars for every correct assigment and the kids can use those dollars to purchase fun things from the store. The pricing varies but it should be about 120 a month per subject. She will go twice a week and also have assignments to complete at home for the days she does not go. My son went from scoring well below the state average on the STAR testing (california req.) before Kumon to scoring an off the charts high score the following year. It really worked for us.
Good luck! I know how trying it can be when our children are struggling in school.
Let me know how things work out. Take care!
A.

Hi M.:
I can understand,it being overwelming,raising a teenager,by yourself,and not having the support or benifit of having family around.I commend you,because,while you may feel you've run into a wall here, it appears,to me that your doing a sensational job. You got her the extra help she needed,by hiring a tutor. What I've found,in my own experiences with teens,is that they need more assistance in learning (Good study habits) more than anything else.If it were me,I would seek a tutor,that taught study habits instead of just math.Your daughter,then would benifit from not merely the math instruction,but how to study, so she could get past her problems with science as well. I know how important friends,and socializing is for girls this age, and I think I'd use that as leverage,in getting her to pay more attention to her homework. Friends come to the door,and that becomes priority over the studies. I'd set the rule,until her grades improve. No socializing,until your homework is complete.If she chooses to do it,shortly after she gets home, great,then she has the remainder of the day,to do as she pleases.I'd request to see the completed work. Don't think your alone,most teens,begin having difficulty,when they beome more social,and when peer pressure comes into the picture.You can feel proud of the tremendous job your doing,keep the lines of communication open always,but don't be afraid to set rules and guidelines.She needs them,and believe it or not she wants them.I wish you and your growing daughter the best.

Hi M..
First off way to be an awesome concerned mom! I'd agree with those moms who say she may be craving your attention. I don't mean she is failing intentionally, but other aspects of life can affect schooling. Let her know school isn't easy for everyone and you understand some subject might be harder for her, but she just has to work at those ones even more. Do participate in her schooling, find her syllabus, get her organized with a homework planner that includes a space to write assignments and tests. Make time with her everyday if possible to go over her assignment for homework, whether its just checking her homework or rereading the discussed section of the text with her. Say "Lets learn together." And she has to do her homework, at that age its not an option. tell her there will be consequences for not completing assignments, but at the same time rewards for good grades and progress reports!
Also, what time of day are her math and science classes? After lunch? Kids tend to be more tired at that time. Is she eating a well balanced lunch?
Where does she sit in class? I hated Math and science in school and college. It was hard for me too. But I realized I did better in class when I sat near the front and took notes, I learned so much more from class lectures and notes than the textbook. If she is able to write in her textbook have her write small notes in the margins. If not get her a notebook for each class to take notes.
Have a parent teacher conference. Find out how the teacher teaches, her expectations. Then have another meeting with your daughter involved. Your daughter has to know their is a network team of at least the 3 of you that want her to be successful. Maybe weekly emails with the teacher can keep you informed of whats going on in class. Back to the top, I mentioned progress reports. Ask the teacher to create a weekly or daily progress report. It can just be a weekly syllabus that has space after each days assignment for notes from you and the teacher. Have your daughter get it signed each day by both you and the teacher. That way it holds all three of you accountable for staying on top of her studies. At the time it is signed by the teacher she can ask if your daughter understood that days discussion. Creates good relationships too!
Like it or not it'll be like you're going through 7th grade again!
Best wishes most of all!
I have tons of good ideas that can help your daughter, don't be afraid to ask.
I can also show you how to make more time in your schedule to be able to spend with her, especially if its just the 2 of you every second counts!
Good Luck!

I went through the same thing w/one of my daughters last year. We had to really buckle down 4th quarter to get her to pass. Ughhh... Anyway, the "I don't get it" really turned out to be I'm not studying and memorizing the rules and information.

The tutoring's EXPENSIVE and was an expense we couldn't afford but still invested in and in hind site, wish we didn't.

I ended up spending about 2-3 hours a day with her going over all of her homework, and just going over each aspect over and over and over again until she memorized it. And, that ended up being what it took. In math, it's going over each step and the order in which to take the steps. In science, memorizing what things are and their definitions and where they are, ie., parts of the eye. And, just doing it over and over again, testing her, seeing what she didn't memorize and doing it again.

Some people learn differently and others have a more difficult time. My 2nd daughter's just going to be the one in the family who has to do it over and over again until it's memorized. My oldest daughter "gets things" after the 1st round. They're all different.

Good luck!

S.

Lots of great answers here, and I'll try to keep mine short. I started struggling with math at about the same age as your daughter. Two things:

1. Make sure she has a regular, consistent schedule for doing homework each and every day, even on the weekends if necessary. Make sure she has a clear space and all the materials she needs. Take away any and all excuses for not doing homework that she could possibly come up. Check her homework each night to make sure it is completed before she has any tv, video games, phone calls, etc. YOU need to be consistent on following up with her so she doesn't think it's okay to slack off.

2. Aside from the encouragement and making sure her homework is done (and the tutoring, although if that isn't working yo might need a new tutor), don't focus too much on the math. Play up her strengths in other areas and make sure that she is developing strong interests in the areas she is good at. Good in English? Buy her a journal and encourage her to write in it every night and/or see if there's a teen/pre-teen book club she can join. Great in history? Take her to the local museums, Renaissance Fairs, re-enactments of key historical moments, etc. Look for subjects and topics that cause her eyes to light up, and guide her to delve deeper, learn more, and experience those things in real life. If it starts to feel to her that math and science are the most important things in the world, and she's still not doing well, the pressure could very well cause her not only to not improve in those areas but also start slipping in other areas. (Yep, that happened to me.)

Here's how my story ends: I continued to do poorly in math all through 8th grade and high school. I barely passed so that I could graduate. In college (I went to a community college first) I took a required Algebra class in my first semester and got...an A! Part of the difference was the teacher, but partly it was just because I wanted to be there, wanted to get a college degree (I got it -- in English literature), and knew this was a chance at a fresh start. Just know that a couple of bad grades will not ruin your daughter forever, especially if she is able to develop her strengths to balance these weaknesses. :) Good luck!

Hi M., I'm sorry your daughter is failing two classes. But is she not doing her homework because she doesn't understand it? If she truly doesn't understand it and tutoring isn't helping then the class is too difficult for her. Can you make an appointment to talk to her teachers? Math and science were always a problem for me, but I always did my homework. I'm a school teacher now. So I can understand your frustration. If she can avoid failing a class by doing homework, have you set up homework guidelines for her at home? Could she just be lazy or have a learning disability? Is she passing her other classes? Keep us posted.

Greetings,

I'm also a single mom of a 13 y/o 8th grader. I've been where your at, have you tried going to a site called Study Island? This is a great site that really helps along with tutoring and its fun for kids!

Best of luck,
J.

Homework is extremely important for her to do. You must set up a schedule for her to do it in the evenings. It is that practice that will help her take the tests. My nephew refused to do homework but got A's on tests in 9th grade and he flunked math and science...silly to flunk if you know the material:(

She is seems like she is too immature to take studying seriously. You must help her at this time to become organized. Middle school children often relied on the teacher before fore organization, but that she is in middle school she does not have one teach and she must make the effort to kept track of assignments herself.
Set up a specific place for her to study and keep her books, paper, pens, etc. Turn off the TV and other distractions (soft classical music is OK and some think helpful). Get her a little calendar book (can be purchased usually at staples, office depot, etc.) that has room to right in all assignments. Also put in when big assignments are due and help her to divide them into sections and put due dates on those sections. You will have to check the book at first daily to see that she has the assignments written in it and you could even check it off the ones as she completes them. You may need to set up a reward system at first. Make a little chart for the week (or use her calendar book) putting a star on each assignment done. If she does all during the week, reward her....out for an ice cream cone, a friend overnight, something else not too costly but something she would enjoy. After she is doing it weekly, change the rewards to monthly.

Also make sure her notebook is set up appropriately so she can find everything by class. You may want to get a pocket folder to put in each class section that she puts completed assignments so she can find them when it is time to hand them in.

Doing homework should affect her grades and her outlook in school. Children who do better like school better and continue after high school. Hope this helps. Talk to her tutor too and see what suggestions she has. If she really blanks out on tests, speak to the teacher too (if her homework shows that she is doing well and understands, the teacher may be able to give her a less stressful setting to take the test...depends on the flexibility of the teacher). Also talk to the school councilor and see if there is any extra help available through the school to help your daughter. Sometimes they have tutoring available.

I hope this helps and you are able to get you daughter on track studying and even feeling that she is a capable student so she will enjoy school.
H.

Well it's great you have a Tutor for her.

At 12, this is a hard age... they are changing so much, and yes, hormones too, for a pre-teen.

Is there anything that may be contributing to her lack of "ability?" Do you think it is TRULY her lack of ability or learning....or a lack of motivation? Is she generally a "happy" child and has normal friends/activities/social dynamics/etc.???

Your daughter, per your request, says that she just doesn't "get it...." and goes "blank." Perhaps... is there maybe something that causes her to not be able to concentrate? Math a lot of times is memorization of things and patterns... maybe, help her learn methods of remembering...or mnemonic memorization methods... etc. Some kids just learn differently... ie: some are visual, some are auditory, some of kinesthetic... etc.

You said she does not do her homework....is it just because of her lack of "ability?" If she is having trouble... I would speak to her Teacher(s), and seek advice from them.... or ask them how her behavior is IN school... academically AND socially...

The thing is, there is usually a way to help a child....if that solution can be found or the "reason" why can be found for why the child is having trouble...

Perhaps she just needs "help" and company while she studies... and with you? My daughter is like that, but she is much younger.

For me, I was never real "talented" when it came to math too... it took me awhile to catch on. No I wasn't "dumb" ...but my Mom would get frustrated with me too, because she tutored me (and she was a brainy Math major in college & a Valedictorian), and she never understood WHY I was not so "fast" with Math. Oh well. But, I excelled in many other academic areas. But, well, so I never was an "A" student in Math... but it was grueling. But I did good in Science. Just Math was my weakness. But I survived.

So maybe, just her "lack" of understanding Math, is now giving her a hang-up about other things... and making her self-confidence shaky in other areas. Maybe this is just making her not want to try anymore.

Try and see what her Teacher would suggest.... start there. Even at this age they are not "grown-up" enough to do everything by themselves. And just keep supporting your girl... at this age, they are also quite sensitive and really get affected by what others think of them... keep her confidence alive.

All the best,
Susan

If your daughter is being tutored and math and still doesn't "get it", then I suggest you formally ask to have her tested by the school district. Give a letter to the principal asking that she be evaluated for an IEP. This put's in play some legal rights you have as a parent, and that your child has as someone who potentially has a learning disability in the area of mathematics. The results will give you a direction to go in this area. If she is found to have a learning problem in mathematics, then the school must give her a free appropriate education to help her in this area. This would take a huge load off your shoulders and she would be getting professional help.

About the homework and studying issue...that's yours to grapple with. You need to consider witholding privileges until she proves all homework is complete, such as no TV, no cell phone, no computer, no ipod, etc. You need to stay in close contact with her teachers and apply consequences if she fails to turn in homework, like no allowance, no sleep-over, etc. From my own experience I can tell you I had tremendous success in keeping in constant contact with my child's teacher and confronting my child immediately when work was missing. Meetings between you and the teacher, can be very uncomfortable and embarassing for a child to sit through. If ommission of homework is intentional or laziness on the part of your child that should help.

Is your child missing homework because she's too disorganized to keep track of her assignments? If that's true, then both that and the math problem could be possible signs of trouble with attention deficit.

As you might have guessed, I have been down these roads. The good news is we got through and our daughter is now getting ready for college and has conquered missing homework problems. The math issue...it is still just extremely difficult for her. Some of us are just wired that way.

Good luck, and email me if you want to talk.

J. Davis
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