Help with a Teenage Daughter

Updated on March 24, 2008
B.C. asks from Burleson, TX
107 answers

I have a daughter that just turned 16 this January and I am having issues with her passing the 10 grade, she all together has been a great child, other than the tipical teenagers know everything syndrom, But now she says high school is just so hard and she just dont grasp things. And me being a teenager that was pregnant at 15 with her I didnt really grasp it either, so kinda hard for me to help her. I am a single mother of 3 so I dont have the money for a tutor.I also cant help her much at home so she really doesnt study too much she will try and then she will ask me a question that I cant help with and she will get frustrated and put it up and say she will just ask her teacher tomorrow and never gets it done or she will make up a answer or just guess. She had a great dream and goal for her life, she wanted to be a neanatal nurse so she took medical term and health science tech to get started on her goal and she said the class was so hard she thinks shes not smart enough to pass it and continue on in college, she says it would be a waste of money to try. Please help me figure a way to help her out.

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So What Happened?

I took the advice of several of you mom's Thank you so much for your guidence, and the more the merrier... I called the high school and spoke with Britney's councelor and we are going to meet as well as all of her teachers,and we will have her tested for a learning disabillity this week if all works out as planned. And as a surprise to me they do have free tutoring after school Mon-Thurs 4-7 and in the mornings as well. Thank ya'll so much for the information.

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G.V.

answers from Odessa on

Tuff love!!
Take the things she likes the most and don't give them back till her grades improve! I have taken the cell phone, TV, anything that makes music except the clock radio. She had to bring home one of her school books and read something homework or not. Go talk to her teachers! Let them know you are concerned about her grades,etc... Sometimes that is all it takes. Sound to me like a case of being a hard head teenager. I have a 21 year old daughter and a 16 year old daughter. Hope this helps and good luck! Just remember you do the best you can do raising them and at some point they are own their own.

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A.T.

answers from Houston on

My heart goes out to you, I can totally relate. I had the same problem with my son, and so I went and talked with the school councelor and explained the problems we were having. She arranged for my son to have tutoring 45 minutes a day 3 days a week and my son would catch a ride home with others that would also be in the toutoring classes. It really helped to get the school involved. They don't know that you need help unless you ask.

Good Luck!

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

Call the school & ask to speak with the guidance counselor. They might even have free tutoring after school. Some schools do! S.

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D.C.

answers from Houston on

I would check with the counselors at her school and see if they have some advice concerning getting extra help for your daughter. They should have some resources... and if that fails, then check out the senior center and see if there is anyone who would like to help your daughter with her school work.. sometimes people are desperate to help somone else and don't know how to connect.. check with folks at your church too.

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F.B.

answers from Houston on

I understand your worries. 10th grade is hard on girls. They are not just worried about studies. They are also going thru emothions about growing up and fitting in. I have two suggestions: 1. Ask God to guide you and to put his hands on your daughter and help her thru her daily troubles. 2. The schools have grade counselors. Call your daughters counselor and talk to her. Your daughter may not want to admit her troubles to a stranger (that is an age thing). I have met many counslors and they are usually great people. They have the job because they have a unique feature to care about strangers. You can give your history to the counslor and explain that you don't completely understand the classes your daughter is taking and don't feel that you can tuter her but feel she does need to be tutered. The school will be able to offer many options for you and your daughter.
I wish you well and I will pray for you and your daughter.
If you need me, I guess you can reach me thru this site. Please over look spelling and grammer...lol

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D.W.

answers from San Antonio on

High school is hard and life is hard, don't let her give up. Remind her that she is smart enough. Stay in the present, don't focus on college right now. My kids go to tutoring after school when they are having trouble in a particular subject. Check with her school to see if it is offered, and I'll bet it is. They have enjoyed the tutoring and improved their grades tremendously. I have 2 14yr old girls and a 13yr old girl. And being young women they are struggling with self-esteem and will always find something to beat themselves up about. Always remind her that she is enough and she can do it! Good luck!, D.

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P.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi B., my name is P., mother of 2 boys now 33 and 20, both my boys had issues with school work and I would send them to the tutoring they have at school. It is free, the teachers have them in most classes, Either before school or after, for about an hour. I too could not afford a personal tutor. But since it was the exact teacher teaching the subject, they already knew what my child needed as far as
studying etc. It was a big help for me and my children. You should check into that.. By the way it helped them alot and they did pass that perticular class..Hope this helps..

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C.J.

answers from Houston on

Contact her school immediately and tutoring should be provided. I am a teacher of 25 years and tutoring is always available to those who need it. I would not think a learning disability would have gone this long undetected. Make sure she qualifies for services and ask many questions during the ARD process.

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M.V.

answers from Houston on

My 15 year old son also was a good student until he entered high school. He also had the same complaints. The teachers were harder the work was harder. He nearly failed his first semester of 9th grade. I had a hard time helping him too because it has been a long long time since I was in school and everything has changed. Just have patience with her and keep trying to help her. She will know that you want to help and that should help her in the long run. Keep encouraging her and don't let her give up her dream. Have her ask her hardest teachers if they offer tutoring in the mornings. Maybe some one on one will help her also. Hang in there.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know where you live but I would help if you are close to the Forney area. I was a high school teacher and I also was a single mom.
The schools are supposed to step in in situations like this. I suggest meeting with her counselor and then having individual meetings with each teacher. When I was working we tutored after school everyday. More than likely your school does this too and you can just help her set up a schedule to get help after school.

Do you attend church? This is a great place to find support for free or trade...

Good luck! M.

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D.F.

answers from Dallas on

When my daughter was a teenager I found that the counselors and teachers at her school were a great source of help. They might be able to hook your daughter up with a pier to tutor her. Don't give up on her and encourage her gently.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

Why don't you meet with a school guidance counselor and/or the math/science teachers and talk to them about the situation? I would think there are some low or no cost tutoring available or as someone else suggested try to match her up with a study partner. She's got to learn how to manage now, so that she can handle it in college. Also, you might consider testing to make sure she doesn't have any learning difficulties that might have been hidden up to this point. The school district will provide that testing for you. Whatever you do, please don't let her give up on her dream. If she really can't academically handle it, she may need to consider a technical school and become a medical technician and still be able to work in the neonatal area.

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R.H.

answers from Houston on

B.-
Have you contacted a school counselor or the teacher in the class that is giving her the most difficulty? Most teachers check their email, so you don't have to find time for a conference unless you want to. Just say you are concerned that she is having difficulty with the class, and ask if they have tutorial sessions- many teachers offer them either before or after school. It might also help to have another adult taking an active interest in how she does. Are you sure there are no social issues contributing toher problem, like teasing or bullying?

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

i don' know what area you live in but i know that in our school district the teachers always offer before and after school tutoring and on monday nights in the library there is also study time or so called tutoring that will cover just about anything that your child is having problems with so you might check with the school counsler to see if anything like this is available. don't give up on college

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

B.,

Please call your daughter's school and explain the situation. See if they have a teacher that would like to tutor her for free or if they have morning tutoring hours. If that doesn't work, call local tutoring agencies (.e., Kumon, etc) and ask if they have a tuition assistance program. You may also want to consider contacting Children's Hospital, Children's Medical City, Baylor and Presbyterian hospitals. Call their Human Resources departments and explain your situation. Ask if they have a mentor program or if they could see if there would be a neonatal nurse that would be interested in some tutoring. You may also want to consider contacting your Local Junior League to see if they could locate a member to help. Lastly, and it may take longer than you like, contact your local Big Brother/Big Sister chapter and see if they can help. Good Luck!

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K.R.

answers from Houston on

Hi B.,

I was also pregnant at the age of 15 and I know that it can be hard. However, don't allow your daughter to feel as though she can't achieve her dream of becoming a neonatal nurse. Go to her school counselor and see if she can recommend another student to tutor her.

Maybe a family member who can help out. I know that teachers can be less than helpful sometimes. They are over worked and underpaid and end the end it's our children who suffer. Also, let her know that because she doesn't comprehend very well to stick to small colleges that can give her that hands on help she needs. The United Way offers tutoring as well. Good Luck and tell her she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her!

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T.D.

answers from Houston on

Not sure what area your in but you might check with the school. They should offer free tutoring with the teacher or another student. I know our high school does it and it was helpful to my daughter.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

I too had a child at 15 and i also have a daughter that is 16. I can offer help from us, I am in nursing, ok, I am trying to get into nursing, and my duaghter is in all AP classes. If u need me to help, hit me back and we can exchange e-mails. If not, there is a web site that is call web MD and that is where i go to for help when it come to medical terms. They break it down in english and that is always helpful. Tell her to stick with it, the pain that she is going thru is called "learning" and yes it can be fustrating and irratating MOST of the time. I thought i was too "slow" to get it to, but then i realized that it will take hard work and determination. I guess nothing is worth having if you don't have to work for it.
Well good luck to both of you.
M.

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B.D.

answers from Austin on

Im not there with teenage life yet, but I work for an elementary school and my daughter attends the same school.
On times like yours, I connect with my daughters teacher's thru email and ask for help and ask if they have time to help her afterschool or if a student teacher or tutor (free at the school) can help out. Its worth her staying 1 or 2 hrs late.
There's always free resource at the school, its the parent that has to hunt for it sometimes.
I hoped I helped a little.

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L.J.

answers from Houston on

Hi, B. C. I'm no expert but I too am a single parent with 2 teenage daughters, one of whom is 17 and having trouble passing the math portion of the TAKS test. My suggestion is perhaps there is someone in your daughter's class that might be able to tutor her at no charge (or perhaps a very nominal fee. My daugther found that one of her peers excelled in math and the math portion of the TAKS test who has been tutoring my daughter. My daughter now finds the problems she thought were so hard are now easy since someone of her age has explained them to her. Also, I would encourage your daughter not to give up. Once we give up on our dreams, they will not come to pass. I know because I once wanted to be a doctor, but I let life and circumstances deter me from my dream/goal and looking back I wish I hadn't.

Hope this helps.

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D.P.

answers from Dallas on

What about her friends? Does she have any in the classes she is taking? Also, if you contacted her teacher & counselor maybe they could help. My oldest daughter helped her friends. It was like a party but helping each other with homework and difficult subjects. Blessings...D. P

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V.S.

answers from McAllen on

I too am a single mom widowed twice. I have had success with my teenage daughter who struggled too. There are free tutors at school. Sometimes the if someone else explains what they didnt understand from the teacher, a tutor expains in a way they understand. Distractios in class could be a factor. With a tutor they have that one on one hands on time. I encouraged my daughter to try as hard as she could and to try and pin point what kept her from understanding. I saw an Oprah show where certain kids brains were wired differently and learned differently,unfortunately the schools are not equiped to pin point those students and help them learn the way that makes sense to them. I thoght my daughter was lazy until I saw that show then felt guity. It turned out that those wired differently were more intellent then the average student. I would tell her that education is the key to having all the things everyone wants. If she pays the price now and studies hard, she will be able to pay her bills and buy all the toys (jetski)and travel and buy the cars she wants and never have to depend on a man or worry about having enough money to pay her bills and she wouldnt have to work so hard if she does it now. She is an honor roll student and has big dreams.When she was in elementary she had a problem with her 2nd grade teacher and that kept her from learning.I had her tested and she was average no problem with learning.They wanted to hold her back but I did not let them and I had faith and supported her and had her take advantage of tutoring and now she passes the TAKS above average and she makes honor roll. I ask her everyday how things are going in school and if she is understanding. I have relatives and friends that did well in college and if there are things I cant help her with I get them to. School is very HARD and she needs a support system. Talk to her teachers get her the help she needs its there and it is free once she pinpoints the thing that keeps her from learning her mind will open and it will get easier. I hope I helped you Good Luck I hope things get better for her.

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L.R.

answers from Houston on

As a teacher I see this all the time. The problem is not that she isn't capable of learning. The problem is that she has never had to stick through something difficult and see it through to the end. Do not let her use YOUR teen pregnancy as an excuse for HER lack of self discipline. You are the adult and it is time to step up and make your daughter get her work done. As my mother used to say, "You can do your work smiling or you can do your work crying. Either way, YOU ARE DOING YOUR WORK."
I am 100% confident that the teachers at your daughter's school offer FREE tutorials on a daily basis. She doesn't even have to go to her teachers. She can go to tutoring with any teacher on campus. Keep in mind that some teachers explain things in a manner that is easier for some kids to "get it." And that may be all your daughter needs. Money has nothing to do with your daughter's situation. If she truly wants to work in a neo-natal unit, she's going to have to be a lot tougher than a couple of high school classes. Be strong, be consistent, and be happy when she succeeds. :)

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K.T.

answers from Dallas on

Hi B. -

Do you have access to a computer at home? If so, there are resources all over the internet to assist kids with homework for FREE ! I would think that ANY of us would have trouble helping our kids with their homework these days because some of that stuff is so advanced. Whenever I don't understand how to help, I log onto the internet, type in the concept or the topic and voila, help appears. Does her school offer any after school tutoring or study groups? That can be another option. Give these ideas a shot and don't let her see that you have given up helping her achieve her goals. Because ultimately, if mama doesn't care, she'll develop the same attitude.

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L.I.

answers from Odessa on

Hello B.,

Your daughter may be one of those "bright" kids that has a processing disorder known as dyslexia. Is she a good reader and speller? Is math easy? One in five people have dyslexia and it is the MOST COMMON reason a child struggles in school. There is a gread video you can watch on the internet. Go to www.BrightSolutions.US. At the top, it says "Watch these videos". Watch the one that is "Could it be Dyslexia?" If your daughter has more that 3 of the warning signs of dyslexia, this may be here difficulty. If so, there are some things that will help her. Where do you live? I can help you if you think this is it. Write me back after you watch the video and let me know what you think. L.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

I would suggest you contact the school counselor, as the school may be able to help you with extra tutoring and mentoring. Also, your church may also have some options for you as well. If you don't currently attend a church, I will be more than happy to help you find one in your area.

Good luck!

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V.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Set up a meeting with your school right away. The counselor would be the first place to start and they should be able to arrange for all her teachers to be in the meeting. Talk to them about the situation and ask for their help. There is always tutoring available before and after school so she should be able to go to that but if all her teachers know that you are on board with them and willing to do what it takes, they will be thrilled. There are places on-line also that can help with homework questions ... it might be called "homework helper" but I'm not sure - the school should know or you can just google "home work help for 10th grade" and you will have many sites come up. 10th grade is a crucial year where kids will choose one path or the other - the key is being involved and knowing what she is doing academically and with friends every minute. This means becoming a private detective, call, email, write, make appts., (with her teachers) and do the same with her friends parents. They will thank you for it in the end and she will have no choice but to make the right choices!

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D.M.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I am a teacher (8th grade math) and I see a lot of what you are going through. So first of all, don't feel all alone. Your daughter is being very typical. I think you need to call the high school and talk to the guidance counselor for your daughter's class. Explain to the counselor that you need to find a mentor for your daughter. Your daughter just needs a little more help/encouragment that you can provide right now. You want her to make different choices than you did at her age, but when she sees your life she may nor necessarily see past that. A mentor would be someone who could talk to her about choices, or a career or even just plain help with homework. If you don't get a response from the school counselor talk to a different school counselor. Keep looking until you find the right person who is willing to help. There are many of us in the teaching field who are seriously interested in the futures and success of our students so keep looking until you find one. In the meantime try to keep the lines of communication open with your daughter. As silly as it sounds every day you need to touch her-physically. Either with hugs- or if she isn't a hug type of person give her a quick neck massage. The physical touch will keep walls from building up between you. It's ok to disagree but you still are mother and daughter so try to not let too much space grow between you-which can happen if she thinks she knows it all. Also be encouraged that "this too shall pass" and she will not always be a teenager and your relationship will get better. I have a 27 year old daughter who is my closest friend, but we had a stormy several years there in between.

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D.C.

answers from Houston on

B.,
Talk to her counsler at school. Explain the problem and ask for direction. Maybe they could hook her up with another student to work with.
There are organizations out there that won't charge for their services. A ministries program, like Katy ministries, Bear Creek ministries, they are all over. DePelchin Childrens Center would be a good source for information. Don't let her give up, maybe an alternative plan. She might of taken on to much at once. Learning how to study is the first step.
I would keep on the school to help her , it's their job!! It's what they get paid for!!! Don't let her give up!

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V.N.

answers from San Antonio on

Have you checked with the school to see if they have an after school program. Our school has tutoring and credit recovery classes at school. Kids can stay after to get free tutoring or come in before school for help with individual teachers for the subjects she is having trouble in. Maybe even a friend that can help her with homework. I have a Senior and a Junior in school right now. My senior helps the junior since she has already had the classes and explains it better than I can, on the same level. College IS a great goal and she has to stick to it. There are scholarships and all kids of ways to get that done. She can't give up. Ask her to take smaller steps to her goal. Pick the hardest class that she has and get her the help. Talk with the school counselor, they can help her plan her classes and should be able to help with the tutoring part also. I know she can do it!!! The only thing standing in her way will be her own want it. How bad does she want it? It is like cheerleading--you have to cheer her on, and she has to cheer herself on. I want to CHEER HER ON. She can do it. Please check with the counselor at school. I think that might be a good start. Good luck. V.

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

B., many schools and/or communities have some sort of free tutoring program. Check with your daughter's Principal or guidance counselor. If nothing is available through the school you might try a local Boys and Girls Club or Y.

Good luck!

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

love on her , talk to school counselor seek advise on turoring optiond for free..there out there..i know it may not be cool cause of the H.S. thing but there are options, don't give up maybe she has for now but don't let guilt of your choice at 15 be an excuse or option to not know what you no now as a parent what would be good for her today at 15...if your daughter knows you had her at 15...I am sure that in her mind she fears that as well.. you guys can make it thru this....your daughter will as good as her hearts desires her to be....your local library will help as well..contact the department head of your High school in any of the areas of her classes she is struggling with..they will help you help her...I did this for my 11 year old son I pay $10.00 an hour though it is a sacrifice but hey it has really helped him and me from being stressed out ---your not the only parent who cant help there child with there studies 2parent homes go thru the same thing, they may have 2 incomes maybe 1 but it is difficult to be a parent and a tutor...not all of us are made that way....personally I am a sinlge mom with 1 child..I personally chose not to help him with his homework because I don't explain it like he has heard it at school. So I don't bother to try to be his tutor..because in the past we have never succeded so it's best for me to make the sacrifice for the tutor...in addition to this I was not very good at math...and well he is...and so the help I would give was not very good help! LOL...FYI some high scools have clubs like the ambassaders club which require the students to accumalate hours from there community ..and well thats where you can get FREE tutoring...

single mom with 11 year old son/ single parent since he was born!

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G.E.

answers from Dallas on

I'm right there with you on the homework help thing too. I am a mother of 5 boys ranging in ages 15 down to 2! My son's schools have a Skyward Access Program that I can log on to anytime to see everything, from papers that day to what they ate for lunch that day, and assignments or tests for the week! They also have a homework help thing online too. You may want to call the counseller at her school to see if they have it at her's. Now they can't figure out how I know so much about what's going on and what assignment they should have brought home that day! Maybe something like that would help? You can also Google homework help to get help on certain problems in specific classes. Best of luck to you!

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T.N.

answers from Houston on

Her problem might be self discipline and motivation. When I was about that age, my grades started dropping. My parents made me sit at the table everynight for a minimum of two hours to work on school. I would have to sit there whether I had homework or not. If I didn't have anything due, I had to pick a school book and read up on our studies. After that semester my grades were all A's and one B. The unfortunate part is, they let me stop once my grades were up.
Slowly, they began to drop back down. I would make this something she always does, even if grades are good. Use it not as a punishment, but a way of life for her right now. Looking back, it was the best thing my parents ever did. I just wish they would have made it a way of life for me. AS far as motivation, visit a hospital or something. Talk to nurses, and learn about other occupations in the medical field. Parents have a big role to play with this. I say this because my parents didn't push me and I needed to be pushed. She might be like this as well.

Good luck!

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M.T.

answers from Dallas on

Wow!
How wonderful! A single mom of three? How do you do it?

Anything is possible for she who believes!
Your daughter can fulfill that dream she has for her life.
I believe there are resources out there the first step is just to find out what they are.
I'm sure if you talked to her teachers or her principal they could come up with a few ideas on how to get her to her goal.
And goals are best achieved when written down. Maybe have her make a goal chart that she can keep on her wall in her room it can show her where she wants to go and each step it will take to get her there. Find out what she's up to? What's her passion?

These are two quotes that I like...

" The longest journey begins with a single step "

" Step by step prayer by prayer the Lord will always get you there"

M.

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L.L.

answers from Austin on

I understand your frustration. My 16 yo son has the same kind of issues. I would encourage you to check with the school about after school tutoring. My son goes to Akins and there is ALL kinds of after school tutoring for free and his teachers also tutor before and after school. I don't know what school your daughter goes to, but most of the schools have some kind of extra help for free, you just have to contact the teacher and school. I hope this helps some.

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C.L.

answers from Austin on

She is smart enough.

Can she stay after school with a teacher for help? Are there extra credit options for her?

What subjects is she needing help with? I will help your daughter for free. I can meet her at her school library or a neutral public place like Barnes and Noble or a public library if interested. [email protected]____.com or call ###-###-####
My name is C. Lawrence. I am married and I have a 7 yr, old step daughter. I would like to be of assistance to you for free.

Or if you have a friend who can help her, that would be another great option.

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M.B.

answers from Wichita Falls on

A lot of schools have free after school homework helplines. Also, some provide tutors for free. Maybe calling the school to get some advise and direction would be good. They usually have ways to help. Good for you to intervene now.
M

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D.J.

answers from College Station on

I can relate to your issue with you daughter.I was going through the same problems with my daughter. She is also having a difficult time,this is her first year in high school. I didn't have money for a tutor either so I went to her school and sat down with her counselor and came up with a solution. My daughter goes to tutoring at school morning and after school,there she get's help with all her school work. Each day she is to go to a different teacher in order to bring her grades up,and it is really helping her. So maybe you can try talking to your daughters' counselor to see what can be done to help her. The tutoring is free and any student can attend.

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B.S.

answers from Dallas on

I taught at a charter high school for 6 years and most of my students told me the work was too hard. Most of the time they weren't trying and some really were having a hard time. Have you gone to talk to her teachers? If you and your daughter are serious about getting help the teachers are usually willing to help even if it is before/after school. I had kids that would come in for me to explain things one on one and it helped. I know we had a math teacher that gave up his lunches to help a small group struggling to pass the TAKS test by having them come in for extra help...and he was one that I didn't think would do that. Plus the school counselor might be able to suggest a free tutor!

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S.K.

answers from Houston on

Does she have any friends or older teenagers who may be able to help tutor her. Maybe going to the library on the weekends as a resource to look up info on the subjects she's having problems with. There are pretty much websites for all type of subjects. -Hope this helps!

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

Call your daughter's school counselor asap. Schedule a time to come in and have a conference with the counselor, your daughter and yourself. Counselors have access to all kinds of scholastic assistance, and they are usually very happy to help in any way possible. If the counselor is aware of the problems your daughter is facing, they can get her on the right path toward reaching her goals. Don't let her give up, even when the going gets really tough. Best of luck to you both--

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M.A.

answers from Houston on

Take some time and contact her teachers and I'm sure that they will find a way for her to get some type of help that won't cost you any money. Alos keep encouraging her she is young,some of us just need to try harder than others.What ever happens don't let her give up, she will do great nothing in real life is easy.I will keep the both of you in my prayers.

Tha nana

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T.G.

answers from Dallas on

Talk to her school counseler. They are usually very helpful. Explain her goals and frustrations. They will have resources available to help your daughter and usually have after-school tutoring that is free, also.

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P.B.

answers from Dallas on

These are very tough years for teenagers and for us parents. Call and ask the teachers if they do tutoring before or after school (most teachers will or they will let you know which teacher does in the subjects she needs help in). You may want to sign her and the other 2 kids up for Big Brothers/Big Sisters to help mentor your children (as for as I know it's a free program, your kids can get some turoring through the program also). If you live close to a college or university, try calling the the Department of the subject she needs help and ask if one of the college students does any tutoring or mentoring or you might be able to post a notice that you are looking for a tutor. Also you might want to challenge her to study more and get her grades up and then you will pay for her to take driving school, or a cell phone, whatever she may be asking for. Also ask around for anyone who is a retired school teacher to help.

Good luck,
P. (parent of a 17 yr. old daughter)

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P.C.

answers from Dallas on

As an educator, I would suggest you find a teacher at her school that she likes, even if the teacher does not have her in class, and talk with the teacher (preferrable female)about helping your daughter with work that she does not understand and about mentoring your daughter. I don't know what your educational background maybe, but if you could take some classes to help you help her and allow her to see you trying to achieve a goal then she might try harder. In my experience I have found that interest shown by some outside party, i.e. a teacher, will help to change this situation and encourage young people to set and reach goals. Your goal setting for yourself and for her is very important. Let her know your expectations of her and be honest about your struggle with teenage parenthood and how you feel about not being able to help her so that she knows that you want more for her. And learn to pray together for each other and about the things that you want. There are several programs i.e Girls Inc, Boys and Girls Club, even some recreation center and churches who provide free tutoring and other programs to help young people stay focused. Seek information online for programs in your area. Also try to get her involved in some youth programs at church or in the community that will encourage positive thinking and self-esteem building. Join a church, if you are not a member, or a non-profit organization that your entire family may become a part of so that this scenario will not play out again with your other children. This will set the tone for what all your children will do.

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L.S.

answers from Houston on

I am the mother of high school age children and a high school teacher. Call or email her teachers and let them know she needs their help. Teachers want their students to be successful, and we care a lot!! Can she stay after school or go in early for extra help? Also let her counselor know what's going on so they can stay on top of the situation and make sure she gets the help she needs. College is so important - even two years at a community college will make a huge difference in what kinds of jobs she can have and how much money she will be able to earn. There are two-year nursing programs at many community colleges, and financial aid/grants are available to help pay for it. Hang in there, Mom!

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

Most teachers at high school offer before school and after school tutoring. They are more than willing to sit down with an interested student and give them extra one-on-one help. Talk to your daughter's teacher(s) and find out when they offer tutoring and offer to drive her there in the mornings or maybe pick her up after school if possible. Remind her that education is important and reinforce that by sitting down and trying to find the answer even if you don't know it. Have her help you or show you how to start a problem. That way she can see how important learning is to you and she will value it more herself. Good luck! And don't give up. Education is freedom and can't ever be taken away from you.

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E.M.

answers from San Antonio on

If your daughter is real serious about becoming a nurse than don't let her quit! All schools have councilor that will guide your daughter for colleges and scholorships. The councilor can find your daughter a tutor(like another student)for free. There is help out there for her, she just need to step up to the plate and go for it. Tell her to go to a councilor or a favorite teacher, they will help and guide her. Don't let her dreams pass her by! Don't let anything get in her way (like boys) from pursing her dream. Stay in school! Good luck!

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B.D.

answers from Dallas on

These are some resources to try....
1. School Counselor
2. Teacher of the class(es) in question
3. Classmate who is doing well as a study buddy
4. Big Sister Program
5. Contact local hospital who has a neonatal unit. See if they have a nurse who would be willing to talk with her/shadow for a day...to keep her motivated. Inquire about volunteer work at the hospital (preferably neonatal or a related area).

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

Have you tried to talk with her school counselor or the teacher of the subject she is having so much trouble with? These days, most school personnel can be contacted by email if you can't go in person. She certainly needs to visit with someone at school before it's too late.

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T.S.

answers from Houston on

I come from a family with a history of ADD. I was not interested in school and could not pass a math test to save my life. I went back to school at 27 and made high scores in my Respiratory Therapy classes. I learned how to study and work around my undiagnosed issues. I did not have the tools at 18 to accomplish my goals. I wish that someone would have explained that my inability to make good grades would change when I was ready to make an effort. She may need some time to grow up. I would incourage her to get her highschool diploma and take at least one college course a semester while she deals with the real world. Explain that those classes will count towards her degree if she decides to step it up a notch down the road. It is never to late. I will be praying for you and your daughter!

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S.C.

answers from Houston on

My first thought is that she can go to tutorials after school and maybe that will help. Have you emailed the teachers? Sometimes letting the teacher know your child is struggling and you are aware of it, and that you are an involved parent is a good thing.... some teachers will put forth the extra effort then to help a struggling student. Does she have a friend or someone else in class that she would feel comfortable with calling and asking for help? Have you really sat down and tried to help her figure it out? Use the internet... we google a lot in our house when Mom or Dad does not know the answer!

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D.E.

answers from Houston on

B.,I have worked with teens for the past 20 years in a variety of capacities. I would be more than willing to help your daughter. I am presently the Executive Director of an accelerated learning school where we teach our student how to learn. Once you have the right tools, you can learn anything. In addition to learning systems we work on goal setting, affirmations, positive self talk, vision boards etc. Our students have enjoyed remarkable successes. Your daughter deserves to reach her goal of being a neonatal nurse - let me help. Please check out my website at www.newamericanschool,com and email me at [email protected]____.com my name is D. Elder.

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

I can relate to your situation. I was a single mother of 2 for about 4 years. Their father passed away. My oldest daughter (I now have a 5 year old) has always struggled in school. There are resources at most schools - after school tutoring, student mentors, etc. If you can't get help from the school, try utilizing some of the private foundations that might be in your area for help (look in the yellow pages under education or ask your church or family doctor). Always continue to encourage your daughter. She is probably dealing with a lot of peer pressure at her age on top of the issue of thinking she's not smart enough.

My oldest daughter will be 19 this year and has started college at a local junior college. Her goal is to be in the EMS field, EMT preferably.

Your daughter will be fine - she just has to get through this phase. I'm sure you are a great mother!

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K.P.

answers from Houston on

Is there free tutoring available at school? Many districts provide free after school tutoring. In our district, they even have a tutorial bus to drop those kids who needed to stay at school late for tutorial.

Or contact those teachers who teach the classes she's having trouble in & they may have some suggestions or even be available themselves to help her when they know she wants help. You never know, if you don't ask.

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A.N.

answers from Austin on

Hi, B.. My heart goes out to you.

Maybe it would help if your daughter had a friend or friends that she could study with, and really study. This wouldn't be for fun, and you could and should make that clear to her. Study buddy.

When I was in high school, I had certain friends that were above average that I studied with because I was not a very good student at all. It helped me a lot. I made it through high school, and then attended college.

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G.G.

answers from Dallas on

I too had a daughter with academic issues in high school as well as her "not wanting" to do her work. My suggestion is that you contact her school counselor to discuss the problem or contact the teacher(s) in the classes she struggles with. Between all of you there should be a solution that will make your daughter less frustrated and want to continue school. The school should be able to address your daughters' problems. We live in Plano and although it took much of my time (e-mails, phone calls, etc.) to contact the appropriate people at school my daughter did graduate. Keep after the school to make sure they work with your daughter. It's my understanding that the "system" is there for your child. Good luck and hang in there.

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C.W.

answers from Dallas on

B.

You need to talk with your daughter's school and her teachers. Most schools have tutoring programs and her teachers will be able to give you advise and other resources that will help. Most teachers are willing to help because they want their students to be successful. Your daughter might have to stay later at school to get the help she needs, but it will help her pass and avoid summer school which she will dislike even more.
I have no doubt that with your support and encouragement she will achieve her goal of becoming a neonatal nurse.

B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

It sounds like she needs help with study skills. A really fantastic way to study is to make flashcards. If getting correct answers is a problem, talk with her teachers and ask for a copy of their teacher's text, or even photocopies of the chapters that they are working on. It has answers in them, and you can help her to make flashcards of questions on one side and answers on the other. If she makes the cards themselves, it helps her to remember the answers better. Something about writing it down, helps to put the "picture" of the correct answer in her mind. Then the flashcards can be used for quick 5 or 10 minute study sessions, that she can do on her own right before a test, or at home in a fun game-like situation with you. Before you know it you both will be learning something and both of your confidence levels will improve. Kids are as smart as they think they are. Help her to BELIEVE that she is smart. Remind her of all the things she is smart about.... even if it is she can text quickly, or she is great at fashion, or whatever she is good at. If she can be good at one thing, with some perseverance, she can be good at anything. I also never met a teacher that wouldn't give free extra help to a child who asked for it. Go with her to ask for help. She is probably ashamed to ask herself. There is no shame in needing help. Everyone needs help on things in life.

I am a 37 yr. old mother to a 2 year old boy, and daughter to a wonderful teacher of 38 years.

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

I have teens that are not very "self-motivated" as the teachers mentioned. My husband and I have just gone through rounds of individual conferences with each of the teachers and they have all been willing to help. When I discussed hiring a tutor, they actually told me I shouldn't spend the money, and they set up an after school tutoring schedule for my kids at no cost. I have found that when there is communication with the teachers and they know that there is support at home, they will go above and beyond. I do not expect that from them but am pleasantly surprised everytime. So I guess the short answer to my long answer :) ... go meet with her teachers. Best of luck to you!

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A.H.

answers from Dallas on

I know what it is like to be a single mom. I'm there now. I have 1 child instead of 3 though. Alittle easier. Have you talked to your daughter about after school tutoring with a teacher. There are usually programs through the school with student tutors. You might want to look into that. It doesn;t cost anything the majority of the time and it's with a fellow student. I hope that this helps some. Take care and you are in my prayers.

A. Hoffa

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H.F.

answers from San Angelo on

B., I know you got a lot of responses, and I wasn't able to read them all, but I have some ideas too.

First of all great for you looking out for your little girl!! The most important thing is to keep her motivated to do well...there are so many other distractions at that age, drugs, boys etc and getting into those things are way easier than working hard at school! Does your community have a big-brothers big sisters program? Is there a professional adult out there that you could have help her. Take her to the neonatal unit of your local hospital to help keep her motivated. Make college mandatory, not optional!!! I have a Master's degree, but I started out in a community college then transferred to a University later on. In community college, the classes are small, the teachers are great and are usually working in the fields that they teach and IT IS WAY CHEAPER THAN A FOUR YEAR UNIVERSITY! Your daughter just by having a dream and a goal shows that she is smarter than half of the jokers out there with four-year degrees. Don't let her be too hard on herself. If you live in the Del Rio area, or even if not, I may be able to get you in touch with an adult professional who could spend a little bit of time "mentoring" her. If you are interested, call me at ###-###-####.

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

You need to call or email her teachers at once and see what they have to offer. Many teachers offer tutorials before or after school (for free). Ask her counselor at school if he/she has any advice. Another student may be willing to tutor your daughter for service hours. Don't let your daughter fall through the cracks, keep her motivated!!!

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

You definitely need to go to the principle or the school academics counselor and talk to them about this. There should be something they can do. So much for 'no child left behind!'

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K.N.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I know that it is difficult to help teenagers sometimes. Have you had a meeting with her teachers or the school counselor. The school should have resources for help with students that want help. I know it is hard when you are working full time to have a meeting. You obviously have acces to a computer and I think all schools now have email accounts for the teachers and counselors so maybe an email connection would help. My husband is a high school teacher and he tells me that he would take extra time to help students that reach out and are really interested in getting better and getting help. I would hope that other teachers feel the same. Good luck and God Bless.
KN

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M.A.

answers from Houston on

Hi B.,
You may want to see what type of help your school district can offer. I would call the district office and let them know that you would like to get her tested for any learning disabilities. Now she probably doesn't have any anyway but this will get you in the door for free help. Plus you never know, sometimes people just get anxiety before a test or in a certain subject (Math for me)and it is really hard to concentrate and focus and therefore absorb what you should be learning. Either way they can teach her techniques to handle the anxiety or maybe even free tutoring. There is nothing worse than feeling like you are drowning in a subject. It can get really depressing and then someone can end up making longterm decisions for a short term problem. A lot of kids choose to drop out rather than go on feeling "dumb". I would look for whatever resources out there and even ask friends that are good in the subjects she needs help in to tutor her and barter for their services. Maybe offer them dinner or sewing if you do that or babysitting, petsitting, whatever you can do.

M.A.

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L.H.

answers from Houston on

Hi, B.,

My daughter is the exact same age. You have already gotten fabulous advice, but I also wanted to add that the teachers all have email now - email them! It makes a big difference - they know you're involved, so they stay accountable to you.

The free tutoring is excellent! Sounds like you have a good plan in order - best wishes to you!

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D.W.

answers from Austin on

B. don't frette love. It too shall pass. I would suggest that you go and get her some index cards. I love the medical field but found that just reading the material didn't quite sink in. You should just have her write down the terms and definitions as flash cards. I got to be a phlebotomist that way, through EMT training and French believe it or not. You can do flashcards with her when you do have time and make it a game for all the kids instead of her. You will be surprised as what a child and grasp. I know she feels like she can't grasp it. I was in a auto accident two years in a row and I know my brain suffered a bit but I keep on pushing forward. I want to be Registered Dietician. I hate math and science can be very hard but guess what at 38 I have to tell myself,"I can do anything I put my mind too." Just remind her that she doesn't really want to take that attitude into life for it will be easy to be sucked into doing anything to make a living and even easier to give. I haven't given up although my body wants to sometimes. Tell her she will be a nurse with a little creativity to keep her motivated. Take her to a hospital when you have time and see if she can meet some of the real nurses and get help from them. I have a 15 1/2 year old and know that keeping them motivated is hard but I do it by being her example. Also tell her to surround herself with items(i.e. pictures, scrubs, sethscope whatever) to visualize her goals. I am surround by pictures of places I want to go. I got my passport last year and I will be going somewhere anywhere this year. All dreams are possible lady and tell her if she needs help she can always have you write to me and we can see what we can do to help her reach her dreams. It takes a village to raise a child and we can be great neighbors.

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B.D.

answers from Dallas on

I would like to suggest that if you attend church somewhere that you see if someone there can either spend time with her and help her or if they know someone that can help you with that situation.

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T.M.

answers from Dallas on

Talk to her teachers. See if there is a tutorial program at school that she can attend. All teachers should have some sort of set tutorial times each week. I am a teacher and if a parent came to me with this concern, I would do anything I could to help. Don't give up on her, and don't let her give up. Continue to encorage her to keep trying, even when she feels like giving up. Tell her every day that she is SMART. The fact that she doesn't get it does not make her dumb. I teach the kids that struggle with math at my school, and I hate it when my students think their dumb just because they don't get the material. Their not dumb. The material is just difficult and they have to work at it to learn it. Good luck... and good for you for helping her be the best she can be! She's blessed to have a mom that cares!

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S.J.

answers from College Station on

Maybe she is taking courses which are too hard for her at this time in her life. However, the choices she makes today affect her future forever. Maybe she needs to cut back on phone time, friend time, socializing, tv, and/or game time. Sure she needs her friends and time with her friends to grow with them, but they should not interfere with her future plans if this is part of the problem. You know with being a single mother of 3, most of all- she must have the will and determination! As for her study habits, maybe she could find someone who is SERIOUS about studying and they spend a few hours a week feeding off each other's knowledge.(Not someone who would be a distraction) I am a mother of four, at your age I left my ex husband. I was a stay at home mom for twelve years. I did not have an education past high school. So, when I entered the world of single life with four children, I had no work experience, no college education and no money! My most important rule to my children: they must complete homework everyday. If they did not have homework, they were to study something or read a book. I have always been over protective, they (my children) were the only thing that kept me going 12 years ago. To this day, I have overseen the friends, where they were going and who they were going with. I did not allow them to stay at a friends that I did not know the parents, I basically had to develop a friendship (with the parents)of sorts before I allowed stay overs. Over protect? Not really, I strayed them away from problems by knowing about the friends and the friends family first. I tried to be involved as much as possible with school functions and kept them involved in school activities as well as our church and community. Let her know you stand behind her, you believe in her dreams and she has the ability to do whatever she sets her mind to. Don't let her give up, if she gives up, she has already lost! I entered into the single life with four beautiful children and the determination to make it! My oldest now is married and has 2 beautiful daughters, my second owns and operates his own business, my third child has been modeling for 3 years and continues her future in modeling, my youngest she is still actively busy with her dance and athletics in school. My life is full and blessed. Please keep your chin up, girl this goes by so quickly. Believe in her and she will accomplish all her dreams! Even you will be amazed with what will happen in both of your lives. Let someone from church or school lend a helping hand, she will be thankful she continued her education and stayed on course. May God Bless you and your family!

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T.B.

answers from Dallas on

You didn't say whether she studies a lot or not. She may just have to increase her studies or ask her teachers for help. If she shows genuine concern for her education, I can't see why a teacher wouldn't want to help. At the very least, a teacher could get her connected with a student who is doing well to help her out. That would be a good way to start. 10th grade was especially hard for me and I was an "A" student. Good luck.

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K.G.

answers from Houston on

My daughter was accademically very successful. Around middle school her grades started to drop very slowly. In high school her self esteem was beginning to suffer. She couldn't find things (homework and assignments), felt like she was studying a lot and working hard and not getting anything done, distracted, bored, etc. We all knew she was bright and she was still in honors classes but it was becoming a struggle (not with topic but study habits and techniques). It turns out she had the daydreamer, space out form of ADD. With medication AND intervention (understand herself, habits, what meds do and what she needs to do) she is now in at UT studying engineering and much happier.

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S.P.

answers from San Antonio on

Sorry to here that your daughter is haveing a hard time-and of course as a parent ,I hear your concern, what about getting free tutoring at school by teachers before or after school, or by a friend. Maybe speaking with a counselor about her goals so she can get more support from the school, I hate to see someone with potential give up and I know she has potiential because she wants something in life and this means she has drive.I wish you and herthe best

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C.P.

answers from Austin on

This is a long shot but I'll throw it out there...public schools that have been identified as "in need of improvement" for 2 or more years are required by federal law to offer free tutoring services to students. I have no idea which school your daughter goes to, and I know not many schools in Austin have been so identified, but just in case...here's a link to the list and description of services.

http://www.austinisd.org/schools/details.phtml?opt=rn&amp...

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

Have you talked to her teacher's? Maybe if they knew the situation they would be willing to help tutor her before or after school at no charge.

Maybe they school has a tutor program set up.
Good luck.

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N.P.

answers from Houston on

Hi B.,

Does her school offer tutoring before or after school? That might help with her schoolwork. I have a daughter in the 10th grade as well and we let her go to tutoring from her teacher if she needs additional help. Also, I keep in touch with her teachers via email so they are aware when she doesn’t understand the curriculum. The teachers will give my daughter extra credit, when she asks, to help improve her grades. The school counselors should be able to help your daughter pick the right courses to take that may be more suitable for her interests. Hope this helps!

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J.K.

answers from Austin on

If your daughter goes to a public school, you should ask the counselor, or the teacher if there is free tutoring available for your daughter either before, or after school. It also sounds as if your daughter needs some help with self-esteem and could use some counseling. The school should also have counselors for her. If she is motivated to succeed, she should make progress with a little extra help. J. K.

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J.J.

answers from Austin on

tell her that if she wants it bad enough that she will buckle down and get her work done even if that means going in early and staying late to study at school with her teachers. tell her that only hard work will get her where she wants to go

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L.M.

answers from Houston on

I have a 15 year old in 9th grade and I am not single mom and my husband and I have had trouble with our daughter as well.

I think the advice about meeting with her teachers is great. We did that and it made our daughter realize that we would keep track of what she was doing and her progress and that we truly cared about what she did. Her issues were more being lazy and thinking she could just get buy with doing the bare minimum and not fully paying attention which is why things seemed hard for her at times. I also emailed all her teachers once every couple of weeks to find out what she was doing in class, how she was doing, what assignments, tests or projects were coming up and if she had any incomplete work and when I got back the responses, we talked to her about it and she was shocked at what we were able to find out and that has made her realize she had to get things done and showed her that no matter what we cared about her future.

I'll admit, I'm a college grad and High School is hard to figure out. :)

If the case is that is it is truly hard, try googleing ways to help students studying on the internet, you will find so many helpful ideas for free. Also, you can goolge to find free online tutoring help. Those are everyone. I know our Church does it for free a couple of nights a week, so try a church to see if they offer tutoring.

One last thing, is that there are sites that explain different subjects to kids and give them example problems to work. My kids use it all the time from my 5th grader to my highschooler.

One site is: http://thrall.org/homework/

This site has different sites to go to for help online that is free.

Also, continue to motivate her about her dream. She can do it, she just may be a little pre-occupied right now with being a teenager and she just may need to focus more.

Hope this helps and good luck.

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L.P.

answers from Houston on

I am a high school teacher. Yes, 10th grade is a tough year. Please make her go to tutoring with her teachers!! They will be more than happy to help her out. Schedule a parent/teacher conference through her 10th grade counselor. They will set a date and time for you to meet with all her teachers or specific ones she is struggling with. Tell her to hang in there....The students I teach also do not have much homework help from home. Many days I have multiple students in my classroom doing homework before/after school.

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K.A.

answers from Houston on

Get in touch with her counselor and teacher. She may not have asked for help. I have 2 15 year olds in 9th grade, one with special needs. I send emails to the teachers if I suspect a grade is slipping. They may have before and/or after school tutoring provided by the school. But most certainly get in touch with those teachers whose classes she is struggling in.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hi B.,
I am also a single mom, but my son is only 4. However I am also a teacher and I know that your daughter's school should be offerring after school tutoring (for free) by her teachers (not a paid tutor). I know it is hard to juggle work and home life without help! You may also consider if she has friends that do grasps the concept and see if they can get together...sometimes kids can explain things better to their peers than teachers can (on their level and in their language). I know this isn't much but maybe something to consider. I do not know if you have contacted her teachers, but you need to. As a teacher if I know the parent is concerned and explains to me the situations at hand I am even more willing to help. I will help anyone that needs it but if a student continually comes to school without homework completed correctly, doesn't stay for tutoring and I haven't heard from the parent I begin to think the support isn't there to help reinforce what goes on at school.
Good luck to you and your daughter.

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R.F.

answers from El Paso on

If your daughter is in public school request to have her tested for possible reading problems also request the free tutoring that is offered. Your daughter is probably smart enough to achieve any of her goals - she just needs to break the tasks down into manageable parts. Set timers for homework - 15 minutes then a break - it will cut down on the frustration. Praise her doing her best and offer encouragement. Encourage her to volunteer at a hospital in her spare time - this will also give encouragement.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

B.,
My name is J. and I am a professional tutor. If you don't mind, I'd like to make a few suggestions that might help your daughter. Since she does have career goals (commendable for a high-schooler), you must do everything you can to keep her on track. Don't let a decision she makes as a teenager set the course for her whole life.
First, have her tested for learning disabilities. The schools are required to provide that testing (they won't tell you that - it costs them money!). Make an appointment with her school counselor to find out how to do it (be pushy). If she is just now experiencing problems, it is probably not a learning disability, but you have to be sure. Otherwise, its like a doctor trying to treat a disease without running tests to find out what it is.
Second, all high schools provide free after-school tutoring. If she is failing, she can get free one-on-one tutoring through a private company (I think it's through the No Child Left Behind Bill). These are the exact same companies that tutor privately, but the state pays for it. Again, ask the counselor and BE PUSHY!
Third, it sounds like your daughter has poor study skills, which most students do. She should be able to find answers to her homework in her book and notes, and not need you. Giving up is just a symptom of teenage-hood, don't worry too much about that. Just be firm, take the book, and help her find the answer. If you can't find it, do a search for homework help online, or just search for the topic online to find the answer. You will set an excellent example by not giving up until you find the answer, and teach her how to be proactive about her homework (and life!).
Lastly, I would be willing to give you a couple of hours free if you are in the area (I'm near White Rock Lake.) I could give her a few tips on studying. Please email me personally and I will send you my phone number.
[email protected]____.com
I am also the single mother of a teenager, so I am sympathetic. Just keep reminding yourself:
This too shall pass! :-)
Hope this helps!
J.

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

Two free workshop/seminars are available at Genesis United Methodist Church, 7605 S. Hulen, Ft. Worth, TX 76133, ###-###-####. One is on communicating with teens (just finishing up, and will be given again but as yet not set in schedule); the other is on various behavior situations with both teens and children. The teen/children workshop is being offered Saturday morning, 9AM-11AM, Feb. 9 and repeated on Feb. 23. Child care available with reservation (so we can have ample caregivers). Please call church for reservation, ###-###-####, Ed Jones, ###-###-#### or me--J. Clarke ###-###-####.

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Ms. Mena is a substitute for the colony schools and she does some tutoring. If you tell her your situation should would be glad to help. If you would like to get a hold of her let me know.

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

Hello,

Blessings to you as you attempt to help your daughter. It appears that she is struggling with self-esteem issues and possibly some learning problems. I would first suggest talking to her school counselor and requesting help and counseling for her. You must be persistent and do not take "no" for an answer. Another suggestion is Psych-K. It is an amazing healing modality that can help your daughter clear old beliefs that are blocking her success. Works on any age including little ones. Call Peter Gonzales for a sample session for only $30. Tell him L. Galvan sent you. His phone number for Austin is ###-###-####. We will be working together in the future to offer this gift to teens in schools.
Healing Blessings to you!
L. Galvan
Soon to be a Psych-K Facilitator
www.circleofstonesjewelry.com

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D.F.

answers from Dallas on

Tell your daughter not to give up on her dream and to continue to do her best. How about getting her to seek a tutor through the school?

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T.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hi B.

I know you have gotten so much great advice already. I am also a former tutor and I will be teaching science in the fall. I use http://www.learningscience.org/ for lesson plan ideas sometimes. But there are a lot of online interactive lessons for students. It is free and covers a lot of topics for all grade levels.

It is great that she has a goal and I wish both of you the very best of luck! If you ever need help feel free to send me a message.

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P.H.

answers from Dallas on

Where do you live? My 8 boys go to a charter school
in Denton and love it. It is a small public school that
is more like a private school.

Pay

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L.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

There are options at the school. The teachers should provide tutoring or the school should provide help after school. There are also websites that can help. These days a lot of books are online with help for certain problems. Just google the name of her textbook, or the name of the class along with "homework help" and see what pops up.

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D.L.

answers from Dallas on

I'm sorry you have going thru this, teens can be very frustrating, I know I have two.... we recently put my oldest on ADD meds (his request) AdderallXR and he went from C's to A's/B's....

TUTORS: Please check with your high school counselor, I know at my kids' schools the National Honor Society offers FREE tutoring because they earn community service hours..

best of luck to you ---
D.

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M.W.

answers from Corpus Christi on

My heart goes out to you! You are carrying a tough load, to say the least! This is a cycle that has to be broken, and it's going to take a LOT of work, from both you and your beautiful daughter, to break it. I'm sure there are some mentors out there who will not charge money to assist your daughter with her studies. The challenge seems to be with her self-esteem. High school is such a tough time to be figuring out who one is, and struggling with coursework only makes it harder. My suggestion is, to the best of your abilities, is to POUR into her truth, about who she is as a person, and what she can achieve in her life. You have to POUR, past your school challenges from when you were a teen, to launch her farther. It's going to be tough!! I would check with the YMCA, the library, the college and the church to see if there are mentors available who would help. Maybe your daughter can work in trade. I got ballet lessons when I was young by cleaning up the studio (my mom was a single mom, too). I truly wish you the best, B., and will be praying for you. We all want the best for our kids, and it's hard to watch them struggle.

Take care,
M. :-)

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S.N.

answers from Austin on

B., your school should have a Counselor that can talk to you about getting help for your daughter. There are usually literacy programs that are free and offer tutoring for people that would cost you nothing. Another thought is contacting Big Brothers, Big Sisters as they might have a suggestion too. Your encouraging her is going to help a lot. Good luck.

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V.S.

answers from Houston on

Hello,

im sorry to hear how your feeling, i too was i young mother at 18 but i graduated. There plenty off time i wanted to drop out too but i started thinking i wound'nt want this for my children. I have yall checked into after school programs in her school? They should have something to help her, if not then there not doing there job. Good luck with everything.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

1. Bigbrothers bigsisters. She may be a little old for the program - but if she isn't, a big sister in the medical field would be the perfect study buddy.

2. Talk to her teachers. I am required to set up tutoring hours when I am available to my students - the minimum is 3 hours a week, but most teachers will be THRILLED to set aside time for an interested student who is struggling. Best part - it's free during that time. Call the school and find out their policy.

3. Remind her the cost if she doesn't try. A lifetime of wondering what if, and if only.

4. Make flash cards with her - medical terminology is MEMORY. Straight up, no ifs ands or buts. My Mama dropped out of the FOURTH grade. She couldn't explain things to me past multiplication, nouns, and verbs. She helped with spelling - by calling out the words and having me spell them to her (she was looking at a sheet). We made flash cards for math - all the way through "big division". We made flash cards for medical terminology, and she'd go through them with me - laughing at some of them, and for some reason those stuck better than the rest.

Just because you haven't been there, doesn't mean that you can't help her... and it could be that your cheerleading, encouragement, and EFFORT on her behalf would be enough to stop this "stinkin' thinkin'" and get her going on her own.

If you're near Wichita Falls, give me a yell - I'd be happy to work your daughter into my schedule, gratis.

S.

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T.B.

answers from Dallas on

I have a 13 year old in 8th grade that needed extra help in math. I couldn't help her either so I went to the teacher which didn't help much either. I found a young mother who was attending on-line college classes who gladly spent an hour tutoring my daughter for free. Any time she has a problem, we can call this young mother who gladly helps my daughter. She was a God send and I'm praying for the same thing for you. Don't be shy asking for some help for your daughter and the school may know someone who would be willing to help tutor your daughter for free. It doesn't take much time but it does take some effort! As one mother to another, please don't let her dream die! You sound like a very attentive mother because you are seeking advise for her. Please keep encouraging her because you may be the only positive influence in her life right now!

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J.A.

answers from Amarillo on

I'm sorry for your and your daughters struggles. I think there are some free homework help websites on the Internet, you might help her look into a couple of those. I also suggest having a meeting with the principal and teachers, they can usually set aside 30 minutes or so each day to help a kid struggling with homework. Sorry I don't have better advice but tell your daughter to keep her head up and to keep trying! If she can make it past high school she can do anything!

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J.P.

answers from Houston on

Has anything significant happened that might have brought on these feelings of not feeling smart enough to do this work? Does she feel like she doesn't get enough attention from you? I know it's tough when you're a single mom trying to balance everything. I, too, was a young mom (3 kids by the time I was 21) and I worked full time, so I know what it's like. I don't know how old your other kids are, but if there's any way you and your daughter can get out and spend time together, without the other kids, it might help. It seems like those teenagers who act like they know everything are really dealing with low self esteem. Maybe you already do this, but if you can find ways to sincerely compliment and lift her up each day, maybe it will help her confidence. I'm sure you're a wonderful mother, and it says a lot for you that you're reaching out for help. The best thing you can do is love her and make sure she realizes it!

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S.O.

answers from Houston on

I must get mine late, because I didn't see this one till this morn, I'm so pleased that you got all the right answers and was able to tell us what happened. I remember how hard it was for me, and asking for help not understanding and being scared to death of your future and really do a loop on your self esteem so I want to applaud you for taking action, keep the tutoring going let those teachers know to keep you informed, there are so many parents that don't care they are more than willing to stay in touch with a parent that does. They have email, they have schoolnotes.com where teachers put what is going on in their class you put in your zip and it will find your school then you can check to see if the teacher is using that sight. I know Cyfair teachers use it. you can also email them from it and anothe tool the teachers use is myteacherpages.com and you can see what their whole grade is doing. Stay involved like you are and I'm glad she is doing the tutoring. I have one that lives there!! Then I have 2 that just ace right along. The tutoring gives that one on one and answers those questions they can't ask in class. Good luck B.

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know about in your town, but in my town there is offered free tutoring. Have you checked with the principal, teachers, etc. to see if maybe this is available to you? Some of the tutoring services offer this based on your income, etc. Also, some teachers are willing to take time out of their own schedule to help tutor students. Just some thoughts.

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T.S.

answers from Longview on

I see you got some answers.

fwiw my kids did the after school tutoring when they had rough patches and it did help. We also were reccommended to try the local colleges. Sometimes there will be students that will tutor for little money just to get the community work they need for their own grades or to get some spending money.

You can also look at local boys/girls club which are through the city. They usually have extremely cheap services for after school kids.

Good luck,

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

I was going to also add(sorry I did not read all the responses)that she can also find almost everything on the internet--my neice gets help with math, physics and much more on the internet. She goes through free tutorials which "teach" her how to do it--I hope this also helps--Good Luck--I also wanted to add that reassuring her that she can do anything is very important--You really can do anything you want, even if you have a learning disability. Teaching her to get over her stress and fears by believing in herself will give her the attitude she needs to accomplish anything in life.

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D.A.

answers from Houston on

I admire both of you for wanting to better your lives. Talk to your daughter about how she needs good grades to become a nurse. Have her talk to a counselor about how she can best meet her goals. If her classes are too difficult for her so she's failing them, let her scale back. The public schools have tutoring programs that can help kids - have her ask her counselor, or you ask the counselor. They're there to help. She'll need good grades to get a scholarship. Scholarships are out there, but it sure helps if you've got good grades.

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