Dad Not Taking Mom's Advice

I betcha, with the way guys are, that he's only thinking he's helping. Guys have a "fix it" mentality, and he's probably thinking that he's helping you by asking people advice on things, such as what they fed the babies that were good sleepers. If I were you, I would express my appreciation to him for asking about information for you, and then explain to him that it's really important to you that you breastfeed her, even if some people say that formula fed babies sleep longer. He may not necessarily think that you don't know what you're doing. It probably makes him feel more involved if he's gathering information, even if the information isn't wanted or needed.

You can have a baby on a feeding schedule just as well if you are breast feeding. Breast feeding is ultimately THE BEST for your baby. It has soo many benefits such as helping babies fight sicknesses & it even makes it easier for babies to transition into solids because breastmilk somewhat takes the taste of whatever you eat so babies get used to different flavors...at least that's what i've read in several places. I have an 8mth old daughter & am also a 1st time mother. I had no problems getting my baby on a schedule. Of course when they are newborns or in your case only 5 weeks, they will be waking up at night, but that usually only lasts for the first 2-3 months. You can get all the info you need from a great website that La Leche League has. Just do a Google search for it (I don't remember the exact site). They have plenty of resources & information that you can show your husbnad from thousands of mothers! Also, there are MANY other resources on the web for the benefits of Breastfeeding.

Formula is fine for those who prefer it or cannot breastfeed but any doctor will tell you that breastfeeding is ultimately the best...if you think about it, Formula says it all in its name, its a formula created usually from cows milk & other substances that simulate breastmilk, so its not really as natural. In my opinion, the more natural, the better & as long is your baby is healthy & your pediatrician also gives your baby a clean bill of health, you are doing fine! You can get lots of info from your pediatrician too...maybe take your husband with you to the next baby appointment so he can hear it from them that you are doing just fine & that the baby is perfectly healthy.

Also, if you are planning to go back to work, you may want to start pumping your milk & freezing it, you can find out all the details on how long to freeze & the do's & don'ts on La Leche League website. I'm not sure how long you are planning to breastfeed but at least consider doing it for the first 3 to 6 mths. I personally am aiming towards a year for my baby.

Good luck & congratulations on your baby! Motherhood is great isn't it!

Jenny C had EXCELLENT advice. I just want to add that you may want to look into a lactation support group if there is one near you. I thought it was WONDERFUL for so many reasons along with the obvious of congregating with other nursing moms. It was free time with a lactation consultant nurse, it was great to get tips, to hear others problems and know how well you have it, to gain support particularly with not having your husband's full support right now with it, and to get the baby weighed and see the progress. We did it at Delnor Hospital in Geneva, but looks like you are in the city, so that's not close to you. May want to look into something like that close to your home.
Like Jenny said, you can schedule a nursing baby just as you can schedule a bottle fed baby. To me, it seems easier because there are no worries with amounts because you just don't know or care specific amounts when nursing. Scheduling is something you MAY want to consider just because it helps SOOO much with encouraging healthy sleep habits, since full meals allow for fuller naps and hunger doesn't interfere with sleep. It also helps the child to recognize the time for a longer period of sleep.
I just responded to a post about scheduling with the schedule we used when our babies were that young. They are capable of a schedule by 5 weeks old (I think 2 or 3 weeks is actually when brain development is ready for a pattern/schedule if I remember right.)
Best wishes to you and try to relax and just smile & nod, and take & leave advice as you see fit for your own child, as you know your baby best.

I am guessing that this is his first child as well. If that is the case, then he is probably being a little over protect, (at least one parent always is). You have to keep in mind that this is his little girl, too and daddys are always more "intense" about their girls. I would sit down with him and talk to him about the pros and cons of formula vs. breastfeeding. Mothers instinct usually trumps daddy worry, but you would be surprised at the insight your husband can actually bring to the table. He may not always be right, but he needs to feel like he is contributing to the situation, and it will also take a lot of of pressure off of you having to make all the decisions. Good luck!

I am assuming that breastfeeding is not the only issue that you are dealing with. I have always tried to avoid the formula fed vs breast feeding debate on Mother chat boards- mainly because there are times when someone finds out that they can not breastfeed and have to formula feed. I would suggest letting him read some of what you have read to come to these decisions. I have found with my husband that a lot of times I can come to a decision and I haven't brought him along in the decision making process so I get frustrated when I am ready to buy something or do something and he is not ready to make that decision. It has helped to either forward websites to him, allow him to read my books(he really doesn't do that too much!)

He sounds like he is old enough to understand that everyone makes different decisions and comes to different results. We have made many decisions because we do not want the result that has come from another decision that we have seen our friends or family make. At the end of the day this is your family and you own your families decisions.

Trust your instincts. Your husband is a dad for the first time just as you are a mom for the first time. So he doesn't necessarily know any better. You could get advice from some of your other mom friends but that doesn't mean its right for YOU just like advice he gets from his friends may not be right for YOU! If you are ready and willing and able to breastfeed and your daughter is doing great on breastmilk, there is absolutely no reason to switch her to formula - and no she will not necessarily sleep longer. She is just 5 weeks old and she needs to be fed on demand and doesnt need to be on a strict schedule yet. Give it another 4-5 weeks and then you can start nursing her every 2.5-3 hrs and gradually extend that time to get her on a schedule. But do what the two of you as parents to your child agree on. Using other people as an example ALWAYS backfires. Every kid and every parent is different. That's not to say that some suggestions may be useful, but dont do it just because you are told to. Be comfortable with it.

Good luck.
Aarti.

I didn't read all of the other responses, but just wanted to give you a little support because I dealt with the same thing with my husband when my son was born. Don't worry -- it gets better. As your child grows and flourishes, your husband will stop trying to control everything. I think the problem with my husband was that he wanted to make an impact as a parent, too and wanted to have his opinions matter. He didn't want it to be "mommy knows best". When you have a nursing newborn, baby is in mommy's arms just about all the time so I think he felt left out. My husband went so far as to buy a can of formula "for emergencies" because he was getting so much information from other people that was contrary to what I was doing with our son. I started giving him little jobs for instance -- I made him in charge of the sleep time routine which then ended with him giving me the baby to nurse. So, he would give baby bath, massage, read books then back to mommy to nurse and go to sleep. It gave me a little break, gave him bonding time with baby and let him come up with a good daddy thing that he could brag to his friends and his mom about. We now have 2 children and my husband has not tried to challenge my authority for a long time. He does help me come up with alternatives if I'm having a problem with something (like we're currently working on potty training) which is really our job as parents -- to find the best way to work together to raise these little ones.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with the stress from a man who doesn't have breasts or a uterus but thinks he knows more than you do! If breastfeeding is going great and working well for you and the baby, then there's absolutely reason to stop.

In this day and age, you should be able to find plenty of information that would support your (correct) views on parenting.

General books or websites to try include:
What to Expect - the first year
Dr. Spock's Book
anything on WebMD or babycenter.com
anything from www.apa.org (American Pediatric Association)
askdrsears.com (but beware, he's not very tolerant of formula use, but that shouldn't be a problem since you are bf)

Also, take him along to her well-baby checkups and ask your pediatrician for clarification on the issues being contended. Nothing like someone who works with babies and children (along with many years of relevant education under their belt) to support what you already know is correct. I'm saddened that instead of supporting you, he is nitpicking and probably causing you more stress.

And...as for the formula = sleeping through the night...I bet you would hear from so many mothers whose children take formula who do not sleep through the night. Many experts believe that there is not a correlation between the digestive system and sleep.