Cub Scout Question for Experienced Boy Scout Mamas (And/or Dads)

Updated on September 06, 2012
S.A. asks from Chicago, IL
16 answers

My son just started Cub Scouts. We had a meet and greet tonight to get to know the den leaders. They are a nice couple, and this is their first time leading, although the den father is an Eagle Scout himself.

I wanted to ask if in your experience, the whole family was involved in the majority of the outings and events? I have been told by MANY friends with sons that Cub Scouts involves the whole family (unlike Girl Scouts where the meetings are usually just the girls with the leaders, and the events are just the moms and girls).

A couple of us were asking if we could bring our other children to some of the outings, and our new den father told us no, that it was mostly just for the scout and one parent. I asked about the Pinewood Derby for example because I know they even have a sibling race during that, and he still said no.

This couple only has the one son, so I don't know if it just his own preference to have it that way, or what? I know that other dens within the pack include siblings so I plan to bring my older and younger children to some of the pack stuff anyway. I won't bring them to the regular den meetings, but I don't see why they can't go on the bigger outings and events with the whole pack?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for your replies. This info is very helpful. I definitely won't bring my other kids to the den meetings or the go see it's unless he invites them (which I don't expect he will). But since I know a lot of people with kids in older dens within the pack bring all of their kids to certain events, I will probably just bring mine to those (like Pinewood Derby, Pack the gym nights etc...) I am not one to drop them off and leave, so I will be there with them making sure they're not in the way.

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

Yes and no. As others have stated, weekly meeting are for you/dad and the scout. Others will bring siblings to the meeting and it is a COMPLETE distraction. Now the trips, camp-outs, award ceremonies are family friendly.
And just like any organized activity, there will expenses and requirements that seem extreme at times. Good luck.

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M.K.

answers from Columbus on

My son is an Eagle Scout, my husband was the Troop Leader and I've been an assistant so I've been involved with Scouting for a VERY long time! This is how it is for us: the den meetings and camp-outs are for the Scout only! Pinewood Derby and Blue & Gold dinners are for the whole family. Attendance at miscellaneous "outings" and other events are determined by the Scout Master.

If in doubt, just ask. If this is the first time for the den leader, he may not know exactly what's going on yet. But I DO know, It is VERY annoying to have little siblings and extra family members at certain events that are meant for the Scout only! Trust me, I've been there!!! Sometimes, parents would use us as a babysitting service!! They would just drop the kids off and there would be siblings at the meetings and NO parent!! Even at Pinewood Derby it gets totally out of hand because the parents don't watch their children, or there again just drop them off; they run around like crazy and it gets VERY chaotic!!!

You'll learn pretty quickly what events you are welcome to attend with other kids!!

Good luck!!

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D.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

In out pack, it's primarily one boy and one parent. Exceptions would be announced ahead of time as 'family members welcome' events. Family is invited to watch Pinewood; attend 1 particular camp, awards picnic. But that's about it. The problem our den ran into with extra family members present was the older/younger siblings wanted to participate in some of the activities - which cost some money (leather tooling, etc.) Hard to say no to a kid, but the den can only afford so much. Also, the more people present the more distractions the leader has to deal with. Hard enough to organize 7 boys, much less 14 siblings providing lots of distractions.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was a den leader for five years. I assume it varies by Pack or even Den, but in our Den/Pack the Den meetings were for the Scouts and perhaps a parent only. In the early years I liked to have a parent or two present to help with behavorial issues. As they got older I felt more comfortable having them on my own. I would NOT have wanted any siblings at the Den meetings or anywhere we were working on a specific requirement because it would have been too distracting. It was also difficult as it was to control the scouts sometimes, much less their siblings.

However, our monthy Pack meetings were very family-friendly and often included the entire family. Our Pinewood Derby encouraged family members to participate and even had an "Open Class" race for siblings and parents who made a car. My non-Scout son participated in that several times and had a blast making a car with his dad and brother.

For camping trips it was generally the Scout and one parent. I don't think siblings were allowed on camping trips. The ony times I knew multiple parents to attend were when all of their children were involved in Scouting.

It might depend on the age and activity level of your other children. We did have younger siblings at Pack meetings who could be disruptive and distracting. They were never told they couldn't attend, but they sometimes distracted from the activity/entertainment or their parents had to take them out into the hallway. It does seem strange he told you siblings couldn't attend the Pinewood Derby when there is a sibling race.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

its definitely just his preference. in our den (im the assistant leader) we dont allow siblings during the weekly meetings, but everyone is allowed at all events, thats how cub scouts is supposed to be. if you are having an issue or are upset with the den leader, you should definitely let them know how you feel then speak to the cub master. if you dont like what they have to tell you you can always switch packs.

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V.C.

answers from Dallas on

My husband was den leader for our youngest son's den. It was a real pain in the rear to have the siblings at our meetings! They would wreck our house. It was like the parent wanted free sitting for the sibs. My husband did not want to tell them not to come, so I started teaching Bible study that night.
I don't see why they would not be able to come to some if not all of the events though.
As the boys get older, imho, it should be boys and men. We had a couple of women who intimidated their way into our troop as leaders and the boys hated it.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

All of the family were involved in our CS pack. Siblings were most always welcome to any event and always at campouts, however, they were never invited to participate in the CS activities since the scouts were for working toward merit badges. To be honest, taking siblings, depending on the age, can keep the parent from participating or watching the CS b/c they have to keep up with the younger child. It was never just one parent though. We always had sibling races for Pinewood Derby and Raingutter Regatta as well.

If you do take siblings, please know they are not a Cub Scout and are not to be a part of their activities unless specifically stated. Definitely do not take them to pack or den meetings - those are for the scouts alone.

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

Really?? I was a leader for several years. We always made it sibling friendly . We let the whole family come. but the Scout did work with each other while siblings did other things . And we did have a sibling race also so they could do that part. We had cook outs Fishing Outings. Change your den then. You can go to a different town or den that lets family in. It really supposed to be that way.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

I can understand the den meetings but the outings are pretty family oriented. Maybe it's because he is new at this, even though he was an Eagle Scout, it's not the same as being an adult Leader.

Just take them anyway or talk to some other parents that have more experience.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I was an assistant den mom for older child for one year and the head den mom for the younger son for 4 years. Your siblings are welcome to attend the Pinewood derby and cheer on all the kids. As a parent, you and your children are welcome on pack night - we had the dens sit on the gym floor with their leaders - the families that came sat in the bleachers and watched the activities.
Camping, outings, overnights are usually done with the scout and the parent. Pack meetings are weekly and are only the leaders and the scout. Also, according to boy Scout rules, if the leaders are a married couple, they must have an assistant leader that is not related to the couple who are leaders - and the asst. must be present at all pack meetings.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

My son is an Eagle Scout. My experience is that weekly and monthly meetings are for the scouts and parent(s). Dinners, events, outings are for the family although there are some that are mainly the scouts. For those especially, you would want a parent to be with the other siblings to not interfer when there are doing scout specific things.

We used to go on yearly scout camping trips. I camped at a different site (less primitive) and did some of the outings and some meals with the group while hubby did all the scout stuff with our boys (he was one of the adult leaders).

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Our cub scout pack/den does not mind if everyone comes to meetings or if siblings come. But usually it's nice for me to have a little break for a while. My husband takes our son and I stay home for our daughter most of the time. But on some of the big events or big meetings we all go. Our daughter loves running around with the big kids and the other little siblings when we do that.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

I have been involved with Cub Scouts for 7 years and Boy Scouts for 2 years. Our Pack does involve the whole family with pack activities. We had the sibling races for Pinewood derby. There are also family camp and Fun with Son every year.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Moving a lot... There's no one standard / it's really by the area or even pack to pack. Sometimes scout+parent only. Sometimes whe family.

Now that my son is s outing, it's the kid+parent only paradigm that is in play, here.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

In cubs, the den meetings and such were just for the scout. Things like the Pinewood derby, some campouts, raingutter regatta/picnic were family oriented. We found Cubs to be more family centered than Girl Scouts, where a father can't help with anything. When he moves up to Boy Scouts, there are more family oriented things that with Girl Scouts - the courts of honor, the fundraising dinners/breakfasts, our son's troop has a yearly family campout.

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R.L.

answers from Chicago on

Each pack is completely different. If you want the whole family involved then you might want to investigate other packs in the area. If your son is a 1st grader then a parent has to be with them the whole time. Because year parents are new at this I woul consider checking with the rest of the pack. A lot of packs have more than 1 den for each level. If you want to check out more packs you can call your local council & they'll let you know the other ones are located. Our pack is in Plainfield/Joliet area. We involve the whole family in everything that we do. There are a few events that we don't allow siblings to participate in due to time constrains. We have an event every month. Good luck and I hope you find the right pack for your family.

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