Conversaton About Death???

A. my son did the same thing at that age. He started to notice everything and asking about everything. This is just the beginning of all kinds of akward questions. Just be honest with him. You only have to tell him what you are comfortable with. Tell him about heaven and that everything is okay. Just let him know that you are okay with your mom having passed. Most kids get most worried about that part. I wouldn't tell him how it happened. Maybe you could just say that there was an accident if he asked how it happened. That way you can talk about your childhood with your mom with him and not worry about anymore questions.

hi A.,

my son only being 1 this hasn't happened yet, but I would say honesty is the best policy, the love and logic book that I am reading says that if they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to know. Death as painfull as it is, is a part of life. My real grandma died when my mom was 18, so I am sure eventually I asked my mom the same question your son is asking you. I'm sure that Barnes and Noble has a book that shows life to death, maybe if you read the book together it could help explain it and make it easier on you too!

My husband's grandma just passed away and we had to explain to our 3 year old the exact thing. We just told her that she went to Heaven to live with God and that she was an angel watching over her. She had lots of questions and we answered them the best that we could. I would suggest not lying to him or ignoring the question because that will just cause more confusion down the road.

I think all the respones are great. When you do tell him. Let him know that she would have been so proud of what a nice big boy he is or how smart. This kinda make them smile during this serious conversation.

I agree with some of the other moms telling a child that death is a long sleep probably will scare him, he is to young to understand that meaning. You should be up front and honest with him so he isn't scared of death because it isn't a scary thing. Just tell him what he needs to know as a 4 year old and to get him to understand at a 4 year old level, he doesn't need to know all the details of how people die. If you don't explain death to him someone else will and odds are you aren't going to want your son to know their explaination because that will just lead to more explaining for you. Short and simple is all he needs to know. Good Luck!!

I have to disagree with the response about telling your child that she is "sleeping." I have had a few friends who have regreted this explaination, it makes the child afraid to go to sleep. When my Aunt died (she was extremely close to my 4 year old) we told him that sometimes God comes and asks people if they want to go home with him, and his Aunt wanted to go home with God. This way, it makes the child less afraid of death and our son hs handled it quite well. Every now and again he looks up at the sky and waves, he says he is waving at his ChaCha (that is what he used to call her). Good luck!

Keep it simple, but honest. Only answer his questions directly, without alot of additional facts, until you think he can handle them. As harsh as the word died seems, that's likely to be the only word he will likely understand. Where is Grandma? A simple "she died before you got to meet her" will work. How did she die? She had an accident, and couldn't get better. My son surprised me with how much he knew about death without being taught by us. They pick up things more than we give them credit for. And he'll learn more about your mom's passing from how you handle the questions with body language, more than the words. So the key is to try to keep the answers as matter of fact as is possible, with such a painful topic. If he senses that you are worried about his reaction, it might make him more likely to think there is a reason to worry.

Just be honest with him but dont over do it with details....where is your mom? answer.....She is in heaven watching over us

Where is heaven? it is a place to go when you die

why do we die or does every one die? the answer is yes but we are here on earth for a very very long time (kids at this age dont realy have a defined thought on what TIME is)
will you die mom...yes i will but not for a long long time

these are just some of the conversations questions and answers my 5 yr old asked me when he was 4
hope this helps

my father passed away when i was 7 months pregnant with my 5 yr old and I swear they have a "bond" my son tells me things about my dad that I KNOW he never heard me say and he does things that ONLY my dad ever did...... he will tell me papa told me this or that and I only can beleive him.....to make this even more interesting I am adopted.....I also know my birth mom and he knows that grandma rose had me so Nana could raise me thats all he needed to know for now.....

Hello A.!

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HI A.,

I lost my father 7 years ago and my MIL 1 year ago. I had pictures of my dad around and when my now 5 year old daughter would ask me who she is I told her it was my dad. That he died before she was born. That worked tell she got a little older and she had more questions. I just answered them honestly with out detail. When my MIL died I told her a good thing and a bad thing happened. I said that grandma died and that is sad cause we wont see her any more. I told her we would be sad and missed her. Then I sad that grandma is now in heaven where everyone is happy all the time. I told her grandma had a new body that wasn't sick any more. That we couldnt see her but she could see us and it was wonderful for grandma that she was in heaven with Jesus. My daughter talked about death for awhile and was a little concerned about us (her parents) but all that is normal and she now doesnt say much about it.

R.

I lost my father 24 yrs ago so my boys never met him. Growing up I always told them that he died and went to Heaven. As they got older I explained more to them.

Right now we are facing death again my FIL the only Grandpa in their life has only days to live. We are spending as much time as we can with him right now. But the boys are now 13 and 15 and understand he is not going to be with us and will be going to Heaven.

I think allot of it also depends on your faith. I have a daycare girl who is like family to us and she calls my FIL Grandpa. She is only 3 and she asked just today. I just told her that he is very sick and will be going to Heaven soon. That is all she needed to know..

I would get a pic of your mother an explain to him that Jesus needs people to come be with him sometimes and that shes lookin down keeping yall safe