Confused and Stressed Weather I Should Take a Need Job.

hi K. i have been there when my first child was born i had to go to work when she was 6 months old and it was entrylevel but it did get my foot in the door and now i am staying at home with my kids but it opend up lots of opertunities for me it was with a photography company and now i have photographer beging me to come work for them! hang in there and it might be hard at first but you will make it. i also am looking to take in 1 or 2 children if you need some one i would love to give you more info! good luck!

Hi. I don't know exactly where you live but I am hearing that most daycares in the Camdenton/Osage Beach, MO are only accepting kids ages 2 & up. It is really hard for women that have small children. Daycares are having a hard time keeping infants because it is more expensive for the daycare.

Hi K.! Speaking as a mom and gramma I would say if the people giving you their opinions aren't there to help you in your goals, then disreguard their opinions. Friends and family should be supportive. I care for my 3 yr old grandson 5 days a week so that my son and DIL can make a better life for their family. I started a playgroup so he could interact with other kids his age and I am homeschooling him with preschool learning tools and my computer. If they can't be helpful, then they should not be giving you advice! Negative advice is not helpful. You have to do what is right for you and your family. I did it all when my 2 kids were small and you can too! I thrived on a hectic schedule and my kids did too. I hope the others can help you find a daycare solution that suits your needs. Good luck!
B.

This is your decision not anyone elses. if you feel it's the right thing to do for you and your famlly, then go for it. i understasnd what it's like juggling school, work and home. I am working on my masters, just took a new job (previous position eliminated due to merger) and I take care of my family. Not easy. I could have stayed home with my son, but I want to work. Our family uses that 2nd income and I love what I do. for me ir was a no brainer. There were people who said I should just stay home. But they don't pay my bills and DON'T offer any money to us.

Remember, you will always have people who don't feel the same as you, but you have to do what you feel is right. Not only for your family, but for you!

On the daycare end, what are you looking for? I'm sure we can help you find something that would be right. I do this for others so let me know if you need help.

PS...Don't let anyone steal your joy!

well i would be glad to help u and ur husband and babysit for you i slao am married for 5 years and i have 2 beustiful boys 3 1/2 and 2 1/2 i ove children of all ages they r fun in different ways let me know i live in west tulsa off of hwy 244 and 33rd w avenue .........

K., I found if you listen to everybody else in life,your not happy. You said you worked from home, there must be something you are longing for other than financial security.Think about it and don't let others influence you.Have you talked to your husband about this? good luck

I think you should go for it. If you really didn't want to do it, you wouldn't have applied for the job. Sometimes you can't listen to what people say. Not everyone is motivated. I usually work harder when I have a lot on my plate and accompolish things when people say I can't.

I'm 33 years old, I own a therapy company with 25 employees, I work full-time, have a 6 and a 4 year old who are very loved and they know it. You have to find balance and you can be an awesome mom even if you go to work or school. Stay motivated and prove all those people wrong. If you do regret taking the job, make sure it's because the job is bad, and not b/c you listened to all the nay-sayers. Good Luck, M.

Talk it over with your husband and follow your heart. Daycares can be a good thing and a bad thing. I had trouble with daycare care until my kids were potty-trained (too many rashes, not enough care). Maybe you need to take your time and find an a caregiver that takes care of some in their home they have to take fewer kids. Good Luck.

I know it's hard to know what to do when you're getting opinions from everyone, but you have to remember that it's your life, and you need to do what YOU feel is right for you. Talk to your husband; utimately, only his opinion and yours should matter. I know--I work in an alternative school setting at a job that most people would hate (and when I tell people what I do, most cringe). I love it! If I had listened to everyone's advice, I never would have been rewarded with a great job and a great staff...just listen to yourself. If you think you can handle it, go for it!

Finding daycare is tough. You just have to search, and search, and search some more. Word of mouth was how I found my sitter. If you call the county health department, they should have a list of people who are certified and have daycare in their homes. As far as the job goes, you have to take the job that will get your foot in the door. It may be for 6 months, or 5 years, but it will help your career. Also talk to your financial person at your school. If you are taking a certain amount of hours, the state will help pay your daycare, if not pay for all of it. Sometimes they even have one on campus. Good luck.

You need to do what is best for you My husband works at Dell in OKC and I stay home with the kids My daughter is 5 and in kindergarten this year and I stay home with my son I would love to go back to work but we would have to pay for daycare and I don't want to do that to my son I know a lot of people don't have a choice but if you feel you need and want this job then you need to take it and not listen to what others think you should do with your life it is your life and you need to do what is best for you not anyone else and ask your husband about it and see what he thinks because it will affect him to

Do what feels right for you and your daughter. What does your husband think...of course you should take in his opinion as well but as for everyone else I would just disregard. Part of being a "grown up" is doing what you wnat and what's best for your family no matter what outsiders think. I've had to learn that here lately as well. Good Luck!

K.,
Alright, it sounds like I'm talking to myself. I married my high school sweetheart almost five years ago now. We have two kids and one on the way. I am in school fulltime (15 hrs.). None of our parents have their bachelor's degrees and they've pretty much done anything and everything possible to discourage me from going.

My philosophy. My life growing up was hard. My children deserve better than that. I am going to finish my degree and then I'm going to teach. Why? Because my kids need to know that I loved them enough to make a life for them. Follow your heart and push through. In the end, it will be worth it. Ideally, yeah, it'd be nice to not have to work, but realistically, these days that's not really possible. God bless!

Do what feels right for you and your family. Sure, it's nice to stay home with your child for as long as you can; but if building a career is important to you, go for it. An unhappy, unfulfilled mommy is not a good thing. It's not as if you will be stuck, anyway. If things aren't working out you can always put that on the back burner. I didn't do anything with my degree before I had my daughter and didn't want to after. Now, I'm in a totally different field, sometimes I feel because I didn't take enough initiative while my knowledge was still fresh... however, my degree was in film and video (an art's degree, not technical) and it really takes a lot of networking and sociallizing to get into that field in Oklahoma. Or maybe that's just an excuse. Anyway, if your husband is supportive and you can find a good daycare, follow your heart. The Rainbow Fleet is a good resource for finding the daycare that best suits your needs. You can look at their website: Rainbowfleet.org or call them at ###-###-####. I'm not sure what area you are in, but they cover central Oklahoma.

Well hun it will all work out in the end everything allways does and if it's not for you GOD always has a way of getting you out of or helping you to his will and always trust in him and never think any less than that okay

love S.

K., I wanted to let you know that you should NOT feel guilty or that your decision was wrong. Keep in mind, it's YOUR decision. My mother made me feel VERY guilty when I returned to work after the birth of my 1st. But I have to say that I was a better mom for it. It made the time w/ her more precious than it already was. I appreciated my time more than ever. Just know that whatever YOU decide, it will take time for all to adjust, but everyone will... make no mistake about that. I am in sort of the same position as you w/ child care. Currently I watch a couple of kids in my home, but that is only bcz I couldn't find daycare for mine so I could work outside the home. I do enjoy being home, but I miss the adult interaction... kinda helps keep ya sane. But all in all, things will work out for the best! And when the time is right, you will find the right person to care for your little girl!

K.,
As someone else pointed out, home daycares take fewer kids so it can be more one on one care. That's not necessarily true. It does take time to find the right person. Personally, I'd rather see you go with someone with years and years of experience. But, you could just as easily find someone that's burned out and won't admit it. So in other words, there is no "best" scenario. You need to ask the right questions. Pop in without calling first. I always smile to myself when someone calls me last minute and say's something like.. I know we were supposed to meet later on today, but I'm in the neighborhood now. I always tell them to come right over. People like to get a feel for how things really are at a time when the provider isn't expecting them. Some providers feel this is rude. But I understand completely. Consequently, I try pretty darn hard to make sure my house is always clean and the kids are always happy, clean etc. I take great pride in children having a nice clean bottom with no rashes. If my parents also change the kids enough at home, we can go a year or more without even one incidence of rash. I also suggest to take a look around the kitchen and look for signs of lots of junk food. I've even had a couple parents ask me if they could look in my cupboards so they would get an idea for themselves of how I cook and what I feed the kids. Also, ask to see all the areas of the house, not just the areas the kids sleep in. You really shouldn't be looking for the good housekeeping award. But you can look for signs of ashtrays, beer cans and other periphinalia laying around. I would never want my child in a place where they did that on or off duty.

Whether or not to take the job is simply your choice. It is hard to have it all, do it all etc. School is hard, kids need us and she might become more needy at night because she'll miss you. But it doesn't have to be a bad experience.

Suzi

mixed emotions, i am all too familiar. this is the time when you ask yourself what you really want (with the little one included of course!) and then just stick to it. everyone has an opinion, but only you are right! follow your heart.

As a fellow mother of a 14 month old and a student I can relate to your decision. I went back to work after 11 weeks when my daughter Grace was born. It was the HARDEST thing I think I have ever had to do. At that point I had earned my degree (two months before she was born). It was a degree that I chose to apply to any area because I couldn't make up my mind what I wanted to do. I then found a 1yr bridge program into nursing so I began taking pre-req classes so that I could do this (mostly online)
Then I lost my full-time position due to lack of contract renewal at my company. I took a few weeks to enjoy time with her and then had to find a job. I now have a PT job and take two classes in anticipation for the one year program. During the time I was not working I wanted to keep Grace in daycare, I could see how much she enjoyed this time with other kids and I could see how much she was thriving and advancing in her motor skills. My delima will come when I will need to go to school Full-time. But rest asure I truely believe that the daycare for her and working/school for me is a necessity for sanity for all. You deserve your time just as much as she deserves hers. It is a difficult balance when you load your plate but just as rewarding. There are always going to be sacrifices to obtain the rewards in life and this is your stepping stone to the utopia you envision. Good luck and don't be so h*** o* yourself. To have a happy family the every family member has to have some happiness and if this is what helps you then it is the right thing.

Always follow your heart. It is important to always follow what you "feel" is the right thing not what you "think" is the right thing. None of us has the advantage of fore sight, therefore none of us absolutely knows what is going to be the best decision in the long run. But if you follow your heart you most likely won't be wondering "what if" later on. I'm sure you heard the saying "different strokes for different folks". I am a stay at home mom of 5 kids and I personally could never imagine going back to school or to work until my youngest is in school. But that's me following my heart. Only you and your family can make the decision you feel is best but I will say, We most often regret the opportunities that we have past up. Not the ones that we took.
Good Luck to you, and I hope that my totally P.C. answer has helped at all.

If you have teh means to do so and you truely WANT to stay hom ewith your kids, that's a great thing, but it's not for everyone and not even possible for most people. If you want to do it and you think you can handle juggling things around, then go for it! If you are unhappy, your kids will be too.

K.,

Don't fret any negative connotations or grief that others are giving you about taking a job or juggling too many things. Only you know if you can handle it all and I am sure you can. It sounds like you took this job for networking purposes (to get your foot in the door)and to make things better down the road for your career. That is great. You can juggle a career and be an awesome mommy at the same time. If your job is way too stressful and you begin to bring that stress home with you at night and it effects how you are to your family, then I must say no job in the world is worth it. I am a stay at home mom right now and that's just because I had my second child and it made more sense to stay home with the two. I have done the corporate thing my whole life and you can find balance. If one has to suffer, that being your job or your family-DO NOT LET IT BE YOUR FAMILY. You will have major regrets. It may be hard to realize but your daughter will love going to daycare. All kids needs that interaction. With your busy schedule, just make sure and find special "mommy" time with Kailey. Just ask for God's guidance. I always ask for him to direct me or put me on the right path and he does. Just don't ignore it when he gives you the answers. Good luck. It will all work out!

First, why are you having trouble finding day care to take her? It was very hard for me to send my daughter to day care..but the bottom line is that she loves it. As long as you find some mommy and me time, I think you will do great. The question really is, what do you want?