Christmas and Kids

Maybe you could tell her that Santa only has room on his sleigh for a few presents for each child and sometimes he needs the help of others like Moms and Dads.

If you want to take this time to explain to her about the spirit of what christmas is all about, then this would be a great time.

Good Luck.

We have a five year old and while we try to get the main thing he asks Santa for, it would be impossible for us to buy everything on his Santa list, plus get him presents from us. We have just told him that his list to Santa is a wish list and Santa chooses what to get off of it, that he won't get everything he asks for and sometimes Santa gets him things he doesn't ask for. He just knows to enjoy what he does get. We've told him there are kids who don't get anything, and to appreciate what he does get. Good luck.

I am sorry to break the news to you but the money did not come from Santa!!! It came from God!!! Santa is not real, God is and he knows our needs and provides for those needs. So if you want to know what to tell your daughter, my advice is to tell her that Santa is not real and could not bring her any gifts this year at all. BUT God is very real and loves her and look at what he just did so that she would not be left out on presents. Honesty is the best way! My kids have always known the truth and they appreciate knowing that I would never lie to them and trust that I won't.

Santa is a fun idea growing up as a kid, but when you recieve blessings like your gift card, it was only God and God alone. I pray for you to see this eventually. Faith in God is an amazing feeling.

L.,
I have always told my kids that they need to remember those worse off than they are- My kids are told they get a few gifts for Christmas and a stocking full of junk- (they get countless things from family so I don't feel like too much of a scrooge) and I also take them to the toy store to pick out a toy to give to Toys for Tots every year. Kids are never too young to learn that they can't have everything they want, and that there are so many in the world much worse off than they are. Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas? I think not.

As for your daughter being clingy- I am sure she is because it sounds like you have too much on your plate. She will grow up fast and time with her is precious. Can you give up college until she gets into kindergarten? Just a thought. I know you probably can't give up the jobs for financial reasons. I don't know how anyone can work 2 jobs and go to college full time- when do you sleep? You have to be exhausted when you do find time to be with your daughter. Does her father help out?
Good luck to you and Merry Christmas.

At 4 years old I believe Christmas is a big deal, but it also has a meaning behind it.I think it is fun and good to believe in Santa because you are only a kid 1 time. Rest to sure that gift card came from god. He is always right on time when we least expect it.I get down on faith too at times but that is when god gives you something to make you realize that he has not left your side. So praise the lord for that. Another thing, I know in my town they offer the Christmas Sign UP for people who are having a difficult time to come sign up and get adopted by a company in your area. I know you may not want to take a hand out, but who knows somebody may need you when you are finacially stable. As long as your child gets something it is more than another child may open on Christmas day. I am a 28 year old mother of 3 that has learned very early that as hard as you try you may not always be able to give your child what they want. But that is the diffrence between wants and needs. My children don't get alot throughout the year other then school shopping, birthdays and summer shopping. I usally try to pick things up throughout the year so that when Christmas comes I am not in a bind....Maybe that is something that you can start doing. Keep the Faith and don't get discouraged because we go through things for a reason or a season!

I don't know if this will work or not but try sitting down and saying the elves don't have time to make everything that every child wants on their list to santa, and even if they did santa can't carry all that on his sleigh. As for this other little girl who is getting everything on her list well she is just spoiled it sounds to me and I don't think it's an appropriate thing to brag about what you're getting. We got our kids one present each from santa and that is what we do every year, we always get them one toy from santa, and we get them clothes, underwear, things they need and we also get them toys but only like a $10.00 toy each because we just don't have the money and even if we did I don't believe in spoiling your kids with materalistic things, spoil them with love, hugs, and kisses. I hope this helps, I hope you and your daughter have a wonderful Christmas. Oh also maybe try to explain that the elves can't make certain things. My daughter thinks the elves can only make dolls, trucks, and stuffed animals really, she said she wanted this carriage thing and it was like $50.00, I told her to ask santa and she said the elves can't make it, maybe if she thinks they can't do it, it won't hurt her feelings or make her think she has been bad.

hi, L.! I would get a small gift from "Santa" and other items- like necessities- clothes, mittens etc that you may need and explain to her that THOSE gifts were from nice people who wanted to make sure she was taken care of at Christmas because of the special kid she is.
I don't think there is any reason not to get her a little Santa gift nor tell her there is no Santa. She is so young and I personally believe that since you will be able to get her something from him, let her believe in the magic still.
You can certainly explain the other gifts as kindness of others etc.
Blessings to you this Christmas!

At this age there really isn't a way to explain it except to say that her mom and dad probably bought most of it and said that Santa brought it. Some families just say Santa brought all the stuff. Maybe you could share her list with friends and family?

I'm kinda having the same problem. My 5 year old has a short list but our truck broke down and the money we would spend on him is now spent. I've only bought one present and that was months ago. Now I'm kicking myself for letting my husband talk me into waiting.

I know this may sound weird, but it worked for me as an only child. My mom and dad went through a period of financial struggle...i can remember very well and i was 5yrs old ...(i'm 28 yrs old now!)even though my parents didn't out right tell me @ the time that we were struggling, i could still tell by looking @ other people trees and the gifts under them. but the best thing my mom ever did for me was taught me about the spirit of giving! what she did was took me to the children's hospital, to the burn unit, to be exact, and she showed me how those kids were spending their christmas. what it showed me was empathy, and I couldn't stop talking about it for days!so when christmas finally did show up, she reminded me about the kids in the hospital and i was happy about what i did get...the following christmas my mom's job did the santa wish list for the kids that didn't have much, and i went along with her and a couple of her co-workers to deliever those gifts and i remember how good that made me feel. so if possible try to "flip the script" on her. that christmas isn't about GETTING, it's about GIVING! and also remember this...i'll give it a good 2 weeks and those toys that she just had to have...will end up being in the back of the closet or under the bed somewhere! so don't go crazy on expensive things.try to at least get one big gift, like a little tricycle. or big wheel that come in a big box, and then the rest should be smaller things...personally kids just enjoy tearing the paper up! and she'll probably play with the box more than the toy itself! that's what small kids do. I hope I helped you..let us know how christmas went...oh yeah, don't forget that family members will probably get her things too...maybe forget about you, but will probably hook her up, so don't worry.

Hi L.,
I m a single lower income mom too. I haven't had that question but I know one thing I do is try to hit most of the local Goodwill shops and other resale shops at this time of year. There are lots of new in the box things out there if you can stop by even for 10 minutes on lunch or on your way home or something. I also might use little pieces of paper listing special things -- get to stay up late with popcorn and a special movie one night, those sorts of things, go to the park, have a picnic all that sort of stuff is free.
Aside from that, you can also post on freecycle or look on there, lots of things are given away and you could ask for a few of the things she wants.
And as far as what to say, I would probably tell it like it is, that we don't all get what we want but that many children in the world go to bed hungry and without a house or any presents....that we in this country overall are living a life very different from others. I don't think your 4 year old is too young to start to understand this. It is our job as parents to teach our children to understand life as we want it known.
Even if I had the money I wouldn't get my child everything, that is just not right in my opinion.
Walmart has some amazing deals this year and they do have lay away. It would be nice to get at least one thing she really wants....even if you have to pay it off over a few months. While it is good for her to understand these things, she IS a child and most of us can sacrifice just a little more to get one thing they want...I have given up eating out and my starbucks this month (eating out meaning drive through fast food!) so I can save a little.
I have also been selling some things on craigslist so I can buy some presents. But really, goodwill has saved the day! Go to the ones in nicer areas and you will find so much for $2 or $3 each.
Where do you live? Maybe I have some thing she would like. I am in South County in St. Louis. If interested, email me, lisaslearningland at yahoo dot com.
www.lisaslearningland.com
Best to you...I take it her father isn't helping, which is sad and much harder on you....
L.

L.

I'd tell her "everything we have is from God, he gives us what we NEED and not always what we want."

The whole Santa thing is a bit creepy. My daughter knows about Santa from songs and TV and stuff, but he's a fictional character and that's what I'm reinforcing to her. I don't want to build up a belief in that's untrue only to have it crushed later on. I think it damages my credibility if I do that.

L.,

I agree with you that Santa is all about the spirit of giving and the joy of recieving at Christmas. At four it is a shame to expect your child to "give up" Santa. I would get one special gift from Santa and mark anything else as being from you. We have always let the small things in the stocking and one large unwrapped present be from Santa on Christmas morning. The rest of the gifts are always from family members. Our family has always limited the number of major gifts to three. I would let your daughter know that every gift is chosen with great care and love. It isn't improtant how many gifts are given it is the thought behind each gift that counts.

I would also encourage her to give small hand made presents to family members. Or if you can pick out a child from an angel tree to give a present to this Christmas. If the angel tree is not an option visit a hospital or retirement home with homemade cookies. Working at a church dinner or shelter is also a way of giving back. After all the idea behind Santa is teaching the joy of giving.

God Bless,

J. N.

I have been in and still in a situation simlar. I don't know what your faith is, but i can bet you one thing, santa sure in hell didn't bring you that gift card so you need your faith restored in something lil more believable than santa. When you do, teach your children the true meaning of christmas, they'll understand more than you think, and have her to revise her list to just 3-4 of her favorite things. After 4 years of parenting I know you know that after a week or two she's not going to remember what the hell (santa)you brought for christmas and she might even want a new toy she didn't put on her list. And haven't you heard of not keeping up with the jones's. Why base your christmas off of someone else's, they may have the finanical means to give at christmas. So mom, it wasn't santa it was a gift from God through that organization. That rejuvination should be geared towards someone else, keep the faith, (lose santa). So what helped me: teaching the truth about christmas, giving gifts through out the month of December, buy a small cake & sing happy birthday(what kid don't like cake and ice cream)and give a gift back to that organization for another child that might not have a christmas. Now you are not at a total loss. This is advice from a mother of 3(13,7,1) 29 yrs old

First and foremaost you must let her know what the holiday is truly about. I have A sincere rule in my home about honesty. When they get to the age that they begin to ask questions such as this it's time to come clean and just tell her that money is tight. While alot of people may not agree with me, it sounds like you have a very itelligent daughter that has probabley already asked herself if there really is A santa. I never came out and told my boys that there was no santa, Just sat them down and let them know that money was getting scarce. They seemed to understand and I still and always will put some little something under the tree "from santa". They find it sweet and like it very much. Even though they know he's not real now (they are 8,10, and 15). The santa present is never very expensive 5 dollors or so. This leave's the "santa" thing there, while at the same time allows the child the knowledge that parent's buy most of the item's and with A little time they figure the whole picture out on there own.
Hope this help's.

My boys get one present from Santa, and the others are labeled from Mommy and Daddy, or whoever. When we went to see Santa at the mall, my oldest was only suposed to tell Santa one gift that he wanted. (He asked for two things, but one was a baby sister, which Santa has no control over, heehee!)
My boys will always get one gift from Santa. I still get a gift from the jolly one every year, but he hasn't updated my address from my mom's house. He's busy tho, and he knows he can count on her to get it to me!
So I would pick one special gift to be from Santa. It's not good to get too much stuff, anyway, and your daughter will have more fun with a few special things, than everything under the sun. And we as parents just need to realize that ourselves, even tho we want to give our kids the sun and moon and stars; that's what makes a good parent.
Happy holidays to you both!

J.

L.,
I completly agree with you, Santa is something that every child should be able to hold onto as long as they can. What my family did when we couldn't afford alot of stuff on Christmas was this: The biggest present would be from Santa, then grab a few smaller ones and mark them "From: Rudolph" and "From: Blitzen" That way, no, she won't be getting everything on her list but, after all, reindeers can only carry one present in their mouth, and they chose her. Right now my daughter is only getting 4 things from me for Christmas, but only one is "from me" the others are from Santa, Rudolph and Blitzen. That should help her keep her innocent wonder a little longer, and it should help you keep your Christmas spirit. :) I hope that this helps!!! Let me know how things work out hunnie!!!

my mom was a single mom and she use to tell us b/c our cousin always got so much more then us.. was that she had to help santa with the gifts and she could not afford to give as much as my aunt and uncle...
well it worked and my brother and i were ok with that answer.. i hope this helps you .. good luck and merry Christmas

Here is what I have told and still tell my children....

Santa gets with parents to make sure that they want their kids to have all of these things they ask for. Example: Santa and I didn;t think the 4 wheeler was a good idea because we don't have anywhere to keep it or anywhere to ride it or Santa didn't get you the big Doll House becuase we don't have anywhere to put it, etc. You know it is really hard any more when other children get every little thing they ever wanted and some of us can't afford that and you know even if I could I don't think I would, it takes away the whole meaning of the season.

Well.. I have a friend who is single and cant get all her daughter wants on her own.... and she is a good girl.. She just told her hun.... Ya know... Santa gets all girls and boys something special for that child.... but ya know how santa cant be all both mall's in town.. and in the next town.. How he has lots of helpers... Sometimes he has moms and dad's help out. and well sometimes the moms and dads well feel like that little gift is nice.. but they want a BIGGER gift for their kid and well sort of up grade it....
We dont up grade our gifts cuz it is what Santa wanted you to have!! we dont want to get him mad!!! and appear to be greedy!!
BUT we cant say anything to the other childrent.. Cuz Santa does not like that... so We just grin and bear it...

It is not about the gift. or how much it cost!!!

Some kids dont get much for christmas. if anything at all...

She gave her mom a great big hug and said Thanks mom for helping santa give me MY gifts all the years!!! I dont want to be greedy!!!

Good luck and Merry Christmas!!

Hi L., and Merry Christmas! That sounds like a hard situation. Everyone has their own personal way of going about telling their kids about Santa, Rather than telling her "there's no santa" maybe let her know that santa is like a cartoon, he's for fun.. Just a guy dressed up in a red suit who helps kids. (Maybe explain to her the story of St. Nick) Show her all the different Santas who help people. Maybe helping her write a letter to the people who helped make your Christmas special would be a good way to show her how to be thankful, and it will make her feel pretty good I'm sure. I don't know about your beleifs, but maybe share with her the story of Baby Jesus, too. Just some suggestions, I hope everything works out for you!! Feel free to let me know how things are going :)
Eventually, she'll find out that Santa doesn't fly around the whole world on Christmas Eve, and give everyone what they want.. I do think honesty is the best way to keep a trusting relationship w/ your daughter.

L., what may help is what my mom did with me when i was growing up. She too was a single mom. What I believed was that Santa brought you one special gift. Some years it was something big, other years it was something small. She said it just depended on what Santa thought I would like. Hope that helps. Good luck and God bless.

You should be honest with her. Don't crush her spirit but be honest. Nobody gets everything they want and neither will that little girl. Her parents are giving her a false view of the real world. The job of a parent is to prepare their children for the real world with all the love, support, & direction we can muster up. Honesty fosters trust. I agree you do have a long way to go, first you need to be honest with yourself. Try to be the mom you always wanted.

I would just explain to her that not all of the gifts her friend is receiveing is from santa! that her faminly is also getting her that stuff and she too will have a great christmas.. and if santa were to bring every boy and girl everything they asked for then santa would be very much so out of toys by the time he got out of the state you live in or town!!! you too could narrow her list to want you think she really really wants!! taske her to see santa make sure you are standing there so you can hear what she tell him get those items. she is not likely to stop in the middle of the christmas day excitment and say hey santa didn't get me this and he didn't get me that, and if she does just play it off like she got some really awesome things! my four and five year old know santa does not bring everything they ask for i told them to only ask for what they really wanted my 5 year old asked for 3-4 gifts my four year old wants everything she sees but she asked santa for 2 things so therefor i do know what to get them that will make them happy. the day after christmas we go through their toys and donate alot that they don't think they will play with anymore! it's a neat way to make them think they are helping other children who do not have a christmas! i hope i helped aorry if i rambled on... I hope you find the right thing to tell your daughter, and i also hope you two have a merry christmas regardless of your financial situation i too had help from an organization, and know how it feels not to be able to fulfill all of their requests at christmas time, just remember she will be happy with anything under the tree I can almost garauntee! i hope everything falls into place for you this time of year!!