Child Spacing - Santa Rosa,CA

I'd go to Nursing school NOW and have more children AFTER you hold your license.

I have a 5 - almost 6 y/o, got my Nursing License 12/2010 and will be having baby #2 this July. I'm going back to school for a higher degree in August, knowing it will take just over a year to get that higher degree.

Having some children OLDER while others are younger will help later on, my daughter is a fabulous Mommy's helper, I knew this BEFORE my pregnancy because she would help me a lot when I was a Nanny (she was 6 months to 3.5 years old).

I have 2 sets of kids - LOL - all from the same dad - but we had our first 2 kids one year and 23 days apart from each other, it was exhausting and I honestly didn't know if I would want any more kids. Then they got bigger and we decided that we did want more kids - so we had 2 more - they are 17 months apart. I was trying to have them closer because as the kids got older, them being so close together worked out really great. 17 months is still good, and it is nice to have the 2 older kids that are capable of helping out. You could always go to school now and then have 2 more kids a little later like I did. I don't regret it at all, and am actually thinking about having another......but we'll see - hubby would have to get on board, and I am not so sure if that is going to happen or not! LOL

Take a look around at the parents with 4 kids. The mothers look exhausted and they don't take vacations like those families with 2 kids. Your life will consist of lots of laundry, constant messes, tons of dishes, loud noise, possibly 4- 5 sports games in a weekend. Think flu season...forget vacation, you'll use up all those days tending to your sick children. The expense of having 4 kids is huge and you will never get down time. Babysitters will charge $20 hour to watch your 4 kids. You'll need a house cleaner because you'll never find time to clean the toilets. Ok...sorry so negative, but just want you to seriously think about what it means to have 4 children. Go for your nursing degree and you'll be proud of yourself, your children will get more of your attention if you stop at 2 and you'll be able to travel with your family. You'll also have time for your husband if you stop at 2..maybe even 3.

My sister got pregnant with about 3 months or so left to go in nursing school. She said it was perfect that way.

Personally, we didn't plan either of our pregnancies & they were closer together than I would have planned (kids are 17 months apart so when first born was only 10 months old, I was pregnant again), but I now that we're through the hard part of 2 kids in diapers simultaneously, I wouldn't change it for anything!

How many years is the lag? (In our area its a 1-2 year lag between completion of prerequisites and entry into a nursing program).

If you've got 2 years in front of you and your body deals with being pregnant well... sure... go for 2 more. OTW... you're looking at 2 years of school and then maybe 1 year to specialize and 1 year as a 'new grad' nurse (no say in your schedule whatsoever). OR if you've got a year or less... wait and have your second 2 kids after you finish your new grad year. You'll have 2 close together, a gap of around 4-5 years and 2 more close together. That'll put the older 2 solidly into elementary school... which will keep your daycare costs from pricing you out of working. One thing that's great about being in school is the subsidized daycare & far fewer hours you need to get covered; but as soon as you start working that means ponying up the cash. In our area... for 4 kids (2 potty trained, 2 not) that would total about $4500 a month. (2 non-potty trained kids is $3200 a month).

Anyhow... just some thoughts.

i had the same problem, i have 2 children that are 26mos apart. i wanted to go to school, i am a SAHM, and like you my husband works a good job, we own our home, etc. i wanted to do nursing. my husband did nursing school for a bit, and he always told me that it would be way too hard to do it with 2 liitle ones running around at home having to take care of after getting out of school and then homework on top of it. my youngest is about 2 start kindergarden, i am turning 33 on mothers day. and i am now thinking about doing the nursing (like you just to fall back on). the scheduling is still crazy, and my husbands schedule is not good for me to go back to school, so i would have to figure that out. but i waited because i wanted to be there when mine were little. but i would do whatever works best for you and your family.

!

Push through with school, or it will never get done.

Husband will have to help with the kids and the household. He can do anything a woman can, except breastfeed.
Parental chores are not gender based. :)

My Husband works and goes to school.
We have 2 kids. 4 years apart.
He will be graduating soon.
It took time, but is worth it.
Yes, going to school IS a full time job and you will have to be studying a ton. At home and at all hours. And keeping up your grades and/or internships. Thus, Husband has to help in ALL aspects.
Does he know that and will he do it????
That... is a crucial component, when a Spouse is attending school.
The other Spouse, will HAVE to, pitch in, everyday.

I had a friend in college that was going to school while pregnant. She did it. It was a real accomplishment. Even when having bad morning sickness... she went to school. She worked hard and plugged away.
It was NOT easy... and then when her baby was born, she had help at home (Grandma) and she continued on with school until she graduated. THEN she immediately continued, and got her Master's Degree. And her child was just under 1 year old.
It is hard... but she did it.

This is a tricky question.... if you have all your pre-reqs done, how long does that last before you have to retake them? I did a one year nursing program, as I already had my BS in something else, and it was a TOUGH year. There were other girls there that had families and did fine, but they did it so that they could work full time afterwards. The program wasn't cheap, so that was part of it. I would also think about what kind of nursing you would want to do-- most people say you should do a couple years in med-surg before going into something specific. I didn't do that, as I wanted to go into peds, so I went into NICU right off. These days, it is harder to do that as the economy is down and nursing jobs aren't as available (or at least ones that you want!).
Now that I have 2 kids and another on the way, I haven't worked in 2 years. And it is great to stay home. I'm also now living in a smaller town where I can't get a NICU job, so I'll have to do something different when the kids go to school. If I were you, I'd wait. But, if your pre-reqs will expire you might have to start. You just don't get this time back with your kids, and they are so fun at these ages! Good luck and I hope you have fun with whatever decision you make-- Anne

If I were you, I would definitely START nursing school while you are still at home... but continue to have/attempt to have kids as "planned".

There are plenty of nursing courses that you can take online... and most schools that I know of offer online courses. Don't overload yourself, but take the general education courses that are required at home, and then when your kids are going into school... take advantage of that time to get your hands on classes and clinicals done.

My SIL has 3 boys and she took online nursing courses and held a full time job and it is a LOT of work and scheduling. You can do it, but unless you really NEED to become a nurse soon (financially) then I would take your time. Your kids will only be babies for a few years... if you had each one "about" 2 years apart, sure you may have to wait 10-11 years total before they are all in school full-time (elementary and up) - but you are only 3 years or so from your 2 year old entering kindergarten... right now you could probably take on a class or two online and get it out of the way, while still staying at home with your two. It might be a challenge, but isn't that what being a mom is all about? If you took 2 courses every semester, that is 4 per year... in 5 years you could have 20 courses done!
by the time your kids are all in school you could be 50% or more done with nursing school, all from home... and then you could go to school full time and be done in a year or two, while not having to wait a long time to have your kids.. which are an 18 year 24/7 commitment per piece.... at minimum.

Of course you could wait till they are all in school to even start... but then you will have to spend the full amount of your time in school full time, and it will coincide at some point with your oldest in high school, which may become overwhelming as you prepare for her and then her sister to leave the nest. It might be nice to be done, or at least almost done with YOUR bulk of school before your kids are out of middle school.

Of course, no matter what you do- there will be challenges! Good Luck no matter what!

-M.

If I were you I would wait until the kids are older to go back to school. If you don't intend to go to work right away, it's kind of silly to put off having the kids you want to go to nursing school. Besides, it could be 2 years before you get in to nursing school with the way the lottery's work to get in to nursing programs. And once you get in it's VERY intense (I have a good friend who is currently in nursing school and he never see's his family between going to school and his residency he is gone 6-7 days a week). Just stay on top of the current requirements to get in to nursing school so that over the next few years if they add a course to get in that you can take it.

Looking 15 1/2 years into your future, when your children apply for college -- they may get more financial aid if they are closer together in age and going to college at the same time. When the schools figure the "estimated family contribution" (EFC) they then divide that figure by how many siblings are in college. So if your EFC is 50,000 and you have one child in college they would expect you to spend 50K on that child. If you have 2 in college, you would be expected to spend 25K on each, so they might get more aid. Some of that aid might be more in the forms on loans and not grants and scholarships. Financial planners will tell you to start saving NOW!

Nope, I have an 11 y.o. daughter, a 6 and 7 y.o. son and a 9 month old son.

If you can afford it i would go back to school. Going to school will be a little different than working a full-time job. You will more than likely have shorter hours and still get holidays and breaks to spend with the kids. I would highly recommend school right now if you can swing it.

I guess it depends on if you want to continue to be a stay at home mom being able to devote your time and energy totally to your kids or if you really want to return to school. I know for me I could not imagine leaving my kids when they are little, so I chose to stay home. If it is not necessary to go to school and get a job then I say wait. They are only young once.

It definitely depends on your personality. Some people can juggle a thousand things and handle an inordinate amount of stress. Since you would be doing it just for future and have no specific need, I'd recommend waiting! I've heard nursing school is stressful, but I also know a mom of 2 who is almost finished, but she has a lot of $ and family support. I just had my first at 32 and I want to have 2-3 more close in age. I don't want to have them spaced like my siblings: 2 1/2 yrs apart, 8 yrs, 15 yrs apart-I hardly know my two youngest siblings! We waited til my husband was almost done with sonography school, he'll finish in Aug. Then we plan to try for #2! Whatever you decided will be the right choice for you and your family! Good luck!

I wish I had finished school. I have major regrets. I'm 30 now and husband wants a third, and I've agreed, though it doesn't make me happy. I wish I would have gotten pregnant with my third two years ago when my oldest was one. I would love a baby, but I feel exhausted and don't want to go through that. My first two children are exactly two years apart. I wish I would have done all my kids about 18 months apart.

I do have a friend whose a few years older than me and her children are in school now and she is in nursing school now... but she was still going to school while her young ones were home. She is happy she waited to go to school until after, because she basically explained that she decided to enjoy the time with her kids then, knowing that she would be bored and more able to go to school once they started.

I think it is the fear of the unknown. I flip flop about finishing school all the time. I have 2 years left on my degree. if we could afford it, I would be there right now. I pretty much loathe being a stay at home mom most of the time, so it just depends on where you are at.