Child Not Wanting to Participate in Group Activitites

I've been teaching gymnastics to 3-year olds for 19 years, and what you're experiencing is not uncommon at all! Especially for that age.

Many 3-year olds won't admit they're scared, or don't really know what's going on so they act snotty on the outside. Don't take the snotty attitude as being rude. She is just unsure and that's the way she chooses to display that emotion.

If she's a young 3, then my suggestion is try a parent-tot class. We often put 3-year olds in a parent-tot when they refuse to participate in the regular 3-year old class. It's OK, even if the class is younger (typically it's 18 months to 3 years for our parent-tot) and parent-tot classes help them get used to the classroom setting WITH a parent. Usually it only takes one session and then they're off and running on their own!

If a parent-tot class is not an option, then talk to the instructor. He or she should know how to handle it best with the style they teach. I usually let the parent come in and sit with the child until they get comfortable. Not all instructors can do that. Some of the 3-year-olds sit on the sidelines for 2-3 classes just watching. Then suddenly they join in like they've been there all along! The trick is not to push it too much (a little pushing is necessary). And also, know your child's limits. Some children love to put on a drama show of tears, then as soon as the door shuts they magically turn off the faucet and have a blast.

Otherwise, just give it some time. There is a WORLD of difference between a 3-year old and a 4-year old, believe me! Don't waste your money, try again next year. In the meantime, take her to the pool, or put on some music at home and let her free dance. No need to rush the structured classes. As long as she's moving and learning to love the activity on her terms, there's plenty of time for structured learning at age 4 or 5!

Hi,

My son was very much like that. He is 5 now and still does better in activities where there are few kids or just him alone. He is just reserved and more of an introvert and I've accepted the fact that he's not going to go out there and be the life of the party. He has many other qualities that other kids lack and are way behind on. Don't force your daughter. My son has gotten a lot better in the past year and she will too. Just let her do her thing. Encourage her, but if she is scared or just doesn't want to do ballet, then that's what you have to respect. See what she enjoys when she's not in a class and just with you, and find something along those lines. I wanted my son in soccer and other sports but he is just not inclined towards those things. That's just who he is and I know now that I have a bright little boy, who has been reading since he was 3 and is very intelligent but he will never be an athlete. He absolutely does not like crowds and big groups. Again, he is much better about that now but his personality still leans towards being alone or with just 2-3 kids.

Good luck,
Aarti.

Three is still a very young age. If she doesn't want to participate, I wouldn't push her. I agree that parent/tot classes may be the way to go, at least until she is 4 years old. However, I would try to, at least, have her do some activities, where you are not present. Maybe a play date at other child's homes so that she is used to being with others when you are not present. It will help build confidence in her and quell her fears when there is a separation from you.

Perhaps they will give you a refund or at least prorate it.

Good luck.

She is being stubborn right now but it is her age. Dont make a big deal out of it & simply say to her "We will not go to dance anymore since you dont want to participate, so you let me know when you want to go again." I did this with my 3 1/2 yr old & she cried & said she will do it. So now she is so proud of herself after gymnastics she always says the same thing after class "did you see me do everything like the teacher said?" You may also want to take her to view a class before signing her up so she can get a feel for it before you spend the money.