Child Being Teased About "Fat" Mom

I would speak to the camp councelor/director. They might not be aware that it's happening. It might give them an opportunity to do some activities around difference and acceptance. Also, it will make them aware so they can listen for it and address it.

Sorry to hear about this... any teasing is terrible - no matter if it's true or not. What I saw once on "Little Bill" (cartoon) is the dad taught the child to just say "So..."very neutrally every time an insult was given. Eventually the bully was aggravated enough to stop because it didn't bother the child. Of course, this was fictional tv, but maybe it just might work!

It sounds as though your teaching her well. The thing I say to my son whether it's him saying something or someone else saying it is that's not nice at all just think how you would feel if someone said something about you.You would feel awful. When he comes home and someone has said something not so nice I just keep telling him to say that's not a nice thing to say. ow would you feel if I said that to you? Or called you a name? It usually works.Once he stands up for himself they usually never say it again. I hope this help. T.

Oh M. I'm sorry about what your going through....kids can be so rotten along with some adults.First off don't lose weight for anyone but you, and second-you sounds like you are handling your daughter very well with your explaination of peoples differences. In time this also will pass-your daughter will stay brave and mature through it...and maybe this will be the motivation you need.You sound sweet-stay strong.It's tough sending your kids to school, you just want to protect them from every hurt there is.

M., I can relate to the hurt feelings and frustrations you must be experiencing. It seems that many children, and even some adults, lack a certain social filter that causes negative things to be said & done without any concept of consequences. I liked what Sheree said in her comments to you. I think if you try to put a positive spin on the situation, "more of my mom to love" etc. I think it will eventually diffuse. I am not sure where your spiritual journey is at this moment, but understand this...you are a child of God! You are perfect in every way because you are made in His image. I just started reading a book titled: "How To Talk To Your Children So They Will Listen and Listen So They Will Talk" In there is a lot of great tactics to diffuse sticky situations and help kids to feel validated in their feelings without acting them out. It may help your daughter percive things in a healthy way without getting hurt or offended. I hope this helps. You are in my thoughts today! :)

Hi,
It's unfortunate that the other child is allowed to tease your child like that, without the camp staff intervening...or are they aware? While your daughter may be being told you're fat, I'm sure other children are being bullied by this same child for things that may or may not be true. More important that discussing body image with your daughter, I'd make sure she understands that it's not okay to say things like that to anyone, regardless of any truth involved. In fact, most times when kids tease like there, there ISN'T any truth involved...and it's not okay then either.

I would also speak with a camp counselor and let them know what is going on and how it is effecting your daughter. Usually they will address it with the other child. I would not approach the other child's parents, though.

I applaude you. Be you and be proud. As a child who was teased about my mom being Bi-polar I think it would be helpful for you child to know how to respond to such insults. As in "So there's more of he to love, don't you love your mommy?", or something. Let her know that it's OK to feel bad when people hurt your feelings, and to share these experiences with you. Deb

Unfortunately not all parents teach their children the same values about differences in people. It really is a shame.
The only thing that I can think of for her to do is to respond the the teases in a way that might make the other child realize that it doesn't matter what size you are. Maybe she could say something like "well there's just more of my mom to love" or "my mom might be bigger than your mom, but I wouldn't trade her for the world".
The thing with such young kids are, they will say almost anything that comes into their mind even if it's hurtful. Sometimes they don't even realize what they said is mean until it's made clear that they shouldn't say things like that.
I wish you the best of luck.

I am also overweight, and am worried about the same thing when it comes to my son, who starts preschool in the fall. I am just shocked that kids tease other kids about this. I would go to the teacher right away. if the child were a bit older, I might say wait, but I would definitely get the teacher involved. get these kids in trouble. Maybe if you see the teasing child with his or her parents, say something to the parents.

as for what to have your child say, I don't think you should have your child brush it off, I think its a good idea to have your child start standing up for herself at an early age, because wether we like it or not, teasing is a part of life and she should learn what to say. maybe tell her to say something like "that's not very nice" or "your mean" or say something like "how would you like it if I teased you about something" and just leave it at that. I think the bulk if it should be going to the teacher, and if the teacher does nothing, go to the principal.

so sorry your child has to go through this at such a young age. :-(

D.

Hi,

I feel you and your daughters pain. I grew up having a very over weight mom and I also remember being teased about it. However, I never felt I could tell my mother how I felt for fear of hurting her. The fact that your daughter has come and told you what's been happening is a wonderful opportunity to be saying to her exactly what you have been saying. You may not think it's helping the situation but she does hear you, and her knowing that she has your support/help/understanding is important. She WILL REALIZE that the kids who say these things are doing it to be hurtful and that these are kids she won't want to have as friends. Most kids go through some kind of teasing growing up. I deal with it with my children as well. She's stronger than you think! Keep the communication going and let her know she's not alone.

Good Luck!
C.

This is not teasing. It is flat-out bullying. The camp staff needs to be informed immediately. It's not about your weight or whether what the child says about you is true - it's about a child deciding to be directly critical to another child on an ongoing basis. Most schools have anti-bullying programs in place. If the camp doesn't have one, the director needs to establish one immediately and train the staff. This is not acceptable, and allowing that child to continue to talk like that is not doing the child any favors. Good luck!

I would suggest something simple for your daughter to do, and make it easy and practice with her so she will know what to do the next time a kids says you are fat. How about, if a kid says something, whether in camp or school, she can say IMMEDIATELY, LOUDLY: "Miss Jones! Mary is saying mean things!!" Tell her to say it loudly and not be afraid. That's why you should practice with her. You can be "Mary" and say, "Your mom looks fat." And have her pretend the camp counselor or teacher is to her right and have her jump up and say: "Miss Jones, Mary is saying mean things!!" If she practices it enough, she will get used to it and not be afraid to do it. Tell her NOT to be embarrassed. Just do that every time and kids will eventually stop saying things about you. Tell her to use that line ONLY if they are saying something about YOU though. Tell her not to use it for anything else. Otherwise, she might start doing that for every mean thing every kid says! ha-ha! Good Luck if you decide to try my idea!

I am not thin either even when i was i had lots of friend who were and still are not i also have thin friends we all get along quite well and stay away from that issue. except one friend and I discuss our own issues with the other as a sounding board knowing the other is just listening to the others vent.
I know if my child was saying that I would want to know. I would only correct my child for being not nice if the person telling me was doing so tactfully. An dyes i would at least say something to the cam couselors I woul neve rhave the nerve to talk to another parent.. I might not be so tactful as i like... Good luck and Chin up !!!

just kkep on doing what youre doing. As long as your child knows there are differences in people, thats the best you can do. When you start kind if it becomes a problem go to the teacher. Ive dealt with lots of kind teachers and they are kind and understanding about tons of situations. Hang in there yourself, most of us are in the same boat and dont look like we want. When school starts get involved and meet some people there soon both of you will feel better . Good luck