Can't Get up in the Morning

Ugh. I'm with you, and reading for advice. Although I'm a chronic insomniac, and am frequently awake until 3-4 in the morning (and then up between 7-9 depending on the day).

The only 2 times in MY LIFE I've been up early (and been alert) on a regular basis was in the military, and when I was living on the beach...waking up and going for a swim every morning. So about 4 years out of 29. For me, without adrenalin, it just doesn't seem to happen.

Alrighty! First off this is a mega lifestyle change so gradual is the key. I myself am not a morning person, but learned some key things to making myself pretend to be one when needed. You're whole family has to be on the same page - you are all trained not to get out of bed. Acknowledge that it takes 11 weeks to fully change a habit and give yourself a break if you don't get it right away.

Plan ahead. Lay out clothes for the next morning. It eliminates a chore and makes the morning a little easier. Plan breakfast - make a weekly menu to choose from or make specific menus for each day. You'll have breakfast on hand, and therefore something to look forward to. If you drink coffee program your coffee maker or prep it so you just have to hit the button. Cold coffee sucks so you'll have even more motivation to get out to the kitchen.

Avoid the snooze button. In high school I would hit it three times every morning. That was my magic number. I'd loose my morning and be rushed to make it to school on time. So I set up two alarm clocks: on opposite sides of the room away from me! I had to get up to turn them off and it woke me up enough to have the resolve to get my morning started. Set up an alarm clock for your daughter too - get her a fun princess one or something along those lines and help her set it at night. Make it a part of your routine and fun! She won't like it in the morning but she'll adjust.

Open up the blinds right away. Studies show that natural light ups serotonin levels. Serotonin is a "happy drug" for your brain (you prolly know this, but I didn't want to throw it out without an explanation). Open up the blinds in your daughters room. Open them EVERYWHERE. Sip your coffee together by a window to get a double whammy. Caffeine and natural light! WOO HOO!!! Or your tea, or your juice. Just try it by the window.

Pink, orange, and yellow are happy colors. They also boost serotonin (color theory here) so try to put something with one of those colors in eyesight - maybe by the alarm clock strategically located away from your bedside.

Bedtimes...actually you're pretty good on this depending on when you want to get up. But if you want an earlier bedtime take it slowly. If you suddenly switch your body will feel antsy and you'll end lying in bed awake till the time your body usually goes to sleep. You are trained on this schedule. So try this: pick your bedtime and start scaling back by 10-20 minutes. Do it in stages. So say you want to be in bed by 9. The first few days (we'll say three) keep your normal time while you adjust to the new alarm clock location. Then the next three go to bed at 9:40 or 9:50 (depending on what you want. And so on. If you and hubby want to do this together compromise at 10:30 and start scaling back from there. But do it gradual and give yourselves time to adjust.

So you can kick it off with making a list of suggestions and call a family meeting (include daughter as this is for her too!). You guys can toss around ideas, make a date to start trying it out, and work together on getting to your goal. If you are seriously wanting another little one now is definitely the time to start getting this going. Getting one out of bed while trying to take care of a new one is quite the battle. Plus you may end up with an early riser (ugh - I have one).

And last of all, as I said before, if it doesn't work out instantly don't give up. This kind of change doesn't happen overnight (no pun intended!). You can totally do it. Best of luck and I hope something here helps.

I agree with the response below about slowly making changes and adjusting your schedule. Depending on what time you need to get up, you may need to be planning on 8-10 hours of sleep. Your child may still need around 12 hours of sleep. On weekends when you don't get up, how long do you sleep? Consider that part of that sleep is your body trying to catch up and part of it is what you naturally need.

Next, some people do not hit their deep sleep and REM sleep until the end of the night, where people that are naturally morning people hit it much earlier in the sleep cycle and then their bodies naturally fall into a lighter sleep making waking easier.

If the alarms are going off in the middle of your REM sleep, you are losing valuable time for your mind and body to recharge, you will feel groggy and extremely tired and it will be difficult to get up. Adjusting your sleep cycle will definitely help with that.

I always had that problem and then one day my husband and I were talking and he said he had a friend who never used an alarm. He would tell himself he wanted to get up at such and such time and he would wake then. He felt better not being jarred awake by a blaring alarm. So my husband tried it and it worked. For me, I had more adjusting to do and had to use a week of vacation to practice and not feel stressed about oversleeping since my husband had to get up and leave 2 hours before I had to get up. But just a couple days went by and I was amazed at how easily I woke up on time without the stress. My mind would become aware of the fact that it was nearing time to get up and I would go into a lighter sleep and it was easier to wake up on time with no alarm!

Now, I always try to go to bed at the same time to make sure I get enough sleep, but those few nights I stay up super late for some reason, I still wake up on time, just feel tired. So I make sure I go to bed on time the next night to avoid getting sleep deprived and over tired.

It has reduced a lot of stress, a lot of running behind and a lot of always being late to things in the morning.

The other suggestion about setting out your clothes works great too! I also put everything I need all together on the kitchen counter, including cell phone, car keys, notes, items I need to bring with me for the day etc.

If I am stressed and have a lot to do, I keep a notepad next to my bed with a pen. If there are tasks running through my head, I simply write them down. Then I can relax and sleep well knowing I won't forget them the next day.

And last, never keep your cell phone in your room and if you can, shut it off at night. The radio signals have been linked to brain wave distruption which shows a negative impact on sleep patterns.

Happy Sleeping!
A.

My husband and I have the same problem. We now have two separate alarms. Mine is by my bed and his is in our bathroom. The volume is set all the way up so he has to get out of bed to turn it off or it constantly goes off. Mine goes off a little after his. They are always set about 15 mins before we really need to be up and that gives us a little cuddle time before the morning rush. It also helps to get enough sleep so you feel awake when the alarm goes off. Hope you figure out something that will work for you.

Your body has a natural time clock but you have to be the one to set it. So I agree completely with the person below. The other thing is routine, routine, routine! Even on the weekend get up the same time every day. Set your internal clock. If you still cannot wait up, I would be concerned you are going in to the deep sleep you need. But if you feel fine during the day this is probably not the case.

S. - I've always been a morning person - not so much because I'm opening my eyes to a raging energy blast, heck no! - but because I've always had the experience of feeling productive, energized and otherwise happy by noon of the day that I do get right up and get going. (In fact last week I committed myself to getting up at 6:30 to exercise before I wake my 1st grader at 7:00, and I've been waking before my alarm now!) This is especially noticeable in the summer when I go out to water my garden first thing before the sun gets over the trees. Being outside is VERY energizing!

You've had a couple good comments already, so I guess my two cents would be that you are associating a great thing - cuddling and together time - with being in bed. But if you are able to get up together and enjoy together time in the kitchen over waffles, or outside checking on the sprouting tulip bulbs, or whatever you like to do together, then your association will shift, and getting up will be easier.

My husband and I try to get to bed as soon as possible after we get the kids down and the loose ends of housework/paperwork etc tied up. Then we read, have some "together time" ;), or just talk. That is really valuable time for your relationship, so don't toss it out the window - just move it to the evening instead. In fact, oftentimes my husband reads the bedtime stories to the girls in our bed, and if I'm free I go join them and we are all comfy and together then.

It's mind over matter, really. You can do it!!

My experience with 3 kids over 20 years has been the later they go to bed, the later they get up. the earlier they go to bed, the earlier they get up. You may have to gradually 1/2 hour at a time, make bed time earlier and earlier, for you, your husband and your child (or you can even do 15 minute increments - over what amount of time is up to you.

I'm a night person, so I never put my kids to bed very early, so they never got up very early.

You've gotten a lot of great advice worthy of attention. Let me just add one thought:

There was a year of my life that I was always foggy and sleepy, and getting up mornings was really tough. One day I found mold growing in the back of a closet (moisture apparently penetrated from sprinklers outside the wall). When I couldn't find a way to keep the mold away, we moved. My sleepiness stopped.

I have since found out that other sensitivities (to perfume and other fragrances, household cleaning products, and many other chemicals) can make me sleepy (or jumpy, depending on the intensity of the exposure). They also disturb my breathing when I sleep, further affecting the amount of quality rest I am able to get at night.

So keep allergies and sensitivities in mind in case other solutions don't work!

This is a problem for a lot of people. I struggled with it for years and years. I finally had had enough and went on a search for help. The one place I found the most inspiration was a article titled How to become an early riser by steve pavlina. Here is the site if you wish to check it out.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/05/how-to-become-an...

I read this with interest because I have the same problem. I have struggled to become a morning person for YEARS. I can never make it stick, but it's much worse when I'm stressed. I read the Steve Pavlina article and I'm afraid that doesn't work for me, I just plain can't function right the next day at work. But that may work for others. I also am interested in the cell phone thing and am going to take mine out of the room and get an alarm clock, pronto.

If you have time (and if I do, now that I'm thinking of it again), maybe try to do some research on circadian rhythms. That's what is supposed to control us 24/7. we do things naturally better at certain times of day than others.

when I had night classes, I used to take a nap in the afternoon. At first it was hard, I couldn't wake up after 1/2 an hour, but would sleep for 2 hours. After a week or so I adjusted, was able to drift off sooner and wake after 1/2 hr. I was then alert for physics from 6-9:30, and actually still went to bed and got up at the same times as not taking a nap. I just felt better the rest of the day, and woke more easily.

Best wishes, thanks for bringing this up.