I don't know what it is but I can't get my 4 yr old boy to poop in the potty. We talk about it and he knows hes supopsed to but just doen'st. He's been in underwear for some time now and I am just tired of cleaning it up. I have tried putting him in pull ups but that doesn't seem to upset him. I tried the sticker chart. I never had this issue with my daughter so I am at a loss.
He has pooped a few times in the potty but thats it and its been at least a month. The one time he had runny pooop he would say oh I've got to potty and makes it to the bathroom and poops. We then get super excited like he won the lotto. Next day when he's back to normal he will hold it and then poop in his underwear or poop in his bum then go to the potty to get whats in his bum out.
Does anyone have any ideas for me??
I used to make my son clean it up too. He would dump the poo in the potty, and then stand on a stool to rinse it out. I didn't make a big deal out of it, just said very matter of fact,"you made the mess, you need to clean it up". My Mom thought I was horrible to do this, but hey, after having to do it two or three times, he decided to poop in the potty. It worked for us.
Good Luck!
My story is just like DVMMOM's so I won't rehash it. I'll just tell you what worked for us.
My daughter was nearly 4 and almost ready to start daycare and demanded a pullup for #2 every time. My aunt came over one day and told her if she would go in the potty, then she'd bring her ice cream. "Any time of day, any day of the week, just have your mommy call me and I'll bring you ice cream, just as long as you poop in the potty." And for a couple weeks, every time she asked for a pullup, I'd remind her of Auntie's promise and ask her if she wanted to try the potty instead. Finally, after 2 weeks, she said yes. And I called my aunt, and bless her heart, she really did drop everything and bring DD ice cream. A few days later she did it again, and we dutifully took her to McDonald's and got her a treat. This went on for a while, till it was happening every day, and even though she'd say "now I get some ice cream" she didn't notice that we stopped following through (thank you, short term memory!). So we stopped with the reward, but the behavior kept up.
I'm not a huge fan of the reward system, but this worked for us, maybe because the reward was delayed and she'd forget. Good luck!
We struggled with our daughter getting her to be okay with pooping on the potty - she wouldn't poop her pants, but she was afraid of going on the potty so she would just hold it in. She would get constipated, it would hurt, we would have to put her on stool softeners, she would still be afraid of going poop because it would hurt, etc. - the whole vicious cycle.
What our pediatrician recommended was getting her in the habit of sitting on the potty for 10 minutes twice a day, after eating (breakfast and dinner). Even if she was insisting she didn't have to go, still making her do it. Her incentive to stay put was she got to play games on my phone while she sat and waited, but it had to be 10 minutes (unless she happened to go before the 10 minutes was up - then she was able to get up and play on the phone another 30 minutes or so). It got her used to regularly trying to poop, sitting there for a while to give it a chance to come out, getting it into the toilet, getting over her fear, and giving her rewards for trying +/- succeeding. It really worked well for her and now at 5, we don't have an issue and I don't really worry about it - I don't see a poop at home every day but she says she goes at school fairly often (and thank goodness we have not had an issue as far as not wanting to go anywhere but home!).
I would try something like that, and then also have some kind of big reward (i.e. trip to arcade, special toy, etc. - whatever his "currency" is) for when he meets a big goal - for example, 10 poops in the potty with no accidents, or poops in the potty for a solid month and no accidents. I would also remind him of what kids who poop their pants DON'T get to do - like swim in a pool!
I had the same problem with my guy but he was 1.5 years younger so I know this works:
http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm
Remember these 2 words - "power incentive." You'll read the details at the link. My guy's was a Toy Story video, he was literally running to go poop in the potty in a little over 24 hours and never went back!
Also, at 4 I would have him flush the poop he removes from the underwear, help rinse and scrub them, clean up any mess on the floor, toss the messed clothing in the laundry, put him in the shower or bath to clean himself. Make it not worth his while to poop on himself because it takes time away from his activities. Also get rid of pullups, they feel like a diaper to them so it's no biggie to poop in them.
We had the same issue when my younger son was about the same age. I solved the problem with "poopy prizes" . I bought a bunch of dollar store items that I knew he would like (was close to summer so a lot of pool/outdoor toys". I showed them to him and told him that he got one every time he pooped in the potty (started with the least little bit, then expected more :) ) I then show him the "big" prize (something he had been wanting for a while) and said when he pooped in the potty for a whole week with NO accidents he got the "big poopy prize". Just one accident started the week over again. Oh yeah! I put the big prize out where he would be able to see it every day for inspiration.
This worked like a charm! He immediately started trying to poop ALL the time! Within two weeks he got his big prize and didn't have any problems after that. The reason I think it worked is that he was working toward the prize, which made him push on past the fear of going in the potty. By the time he got all the prizes, his fear was forgotten!
Good luck!
P.S. Reading the other posts reminded me of something else we did with it. We told him that his poops liked to be flushed down the toilet so that they could join their friends. This sounds so funny, but I used this for both my boys. We would flush them down and say "bye bye poopies, have fun with your friends!" I laugh when I think of it, but they got into it!
You've gotten some helpful responses. Check out the link GrammaRocks listed – I didn't have to use that approach, but have heard from a few moms that they got very good results using it.
You have to figure out what time he goes and take him when it's that time. Have bathroom books and then give him something he likes (reward system). Be totally excited when he does go.
Good luck!
My son loved Thomas the Train at that age. So, I bought several of the trains (4) and a 6 pack of little jet planes. I put them individually into brown paper bags and I set the brown paper bags onto the counter in the livingroom (somewhere he could see them every day). Then, I told him that if he went poop in the potty, he got to pick a bag and see the prize inside. Thankfully, the first thing he picked was one of the Thomas toys. After that, he was HIGHLY motivated to poop in the potty and he loved picking out a bag. 10 was all it took for us and he was trained.
Also, I just read the other answers and the cleaning up afterwards is also highly motivating. My son had a bad habit of pooping in the bathtub. He did it twice and I cleaned it up and then I told him he would have to clean it up. He did it once and had to clean it up (and I mean the whole shebang - cleaning the poop out and then cleaning the whole tub and disinfecting it) and he never did that again. I think once they are involved in all the "work" of it, they are motivated to not do it again.
Good luck,
L.
