Can I Have Another Kid?

Updated on April 04, 2011
R.B. asks from Albert Lea, MN
15 answers

My eldest and first son is already 3.7 and he was born premature in 30 weeks. After he was born we suffered a lot to bring his immunity and grow him as a full baby. Now he doesn't have any problems and already rocking and going to preschool. And from june he is going to Junior KG. He is very energetic and active and a very happy baby. Last year by the same time I concieved again and we were really happy and from the doctor's assessment I was carrying twins as per my HCG counts but nothing was seen in Ultrasound. And I had to lose them as they were not growing and I had missed abortion and a D&C done by my gynecologist. After that she advised me to give atleast 3 months time to recover. But I really got scared and though on my husband's advice was npt ready to get pregnant again. But now seeing my son who loves children and started asking "Mama Baby" and "I want two babies", I have prepared myself mentally that we should have another kid. But I am still scared as my son was born premature and the second abortion episode. However I try to think positive I keep getting scared about all that. I fear that though I become pregnant again and carry a healthy child will I be able to give birth to baby to the full term. Are there anyone who have given birth to a premature baby first and again a normal full term baby? Please help me out so that I can plan for another baby with full ease.

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So What Happened?

I am feeling better by the answers from these lovely moms. But still little worried and praying to Lorn Almighty that my pregnancy should go very well.

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N.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi , I dont know anybody who's gone thru this before but just would like to tell you to always be positive and be happy. Miracles happen in this world all the time! :) My best wishes to you !

4 moms found this helpful

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

My sis had 4 miscarriges and also had to do a d&c. She never thought she could have a successful pregnancy.

Well, several years later, and 4 years of trying to have children she has 4, healthy kids! One was premature with health problems, but is perfectly fine now.

You may have other hardships in pregnancy, but you may not, and have great joy in a new child. I hope you the very best outcome :)

3 moms found this helpful

E.B.

answers from Seattle on

I had an abortion when i was 19. not the best time in my life. also something if i could turn around and be given another chance, I would have loved that baby more then anyone thing on this earth. I now have a tattoo in remembrance of the baby i was given and how i was to scared to keep it. moms who are pro life..please no hate mail on this portion please. It takes alot for women to even admit to other women they have gone this route, due to the very sided opinions on the matter

This being said, when i finally was in the situation where i preggo and married, my son wanted to come at about 25 weeks. I was put in the hosiptal. Given lots and lots of medicine. and after four days i was sent home on strict bedrest..i am talking bed pan bed rest. I could only keep him in there to make it to 37 weeks. which is a far many more weeks then your first. I was preeclamptic(spelling) and my heart rate sitting was 160 or more.

I went on to having two separate pregancnies after that. The 2nd he came on his due date. the third made life a lot harder for me at the end. I was in labor for 3 weeks, not progressing at all contraction everyday all day my body stuck at 2.5 centimeters approx. In three weeks we went the L and D eleven times.

That is just my story of having a lil' premature... do this with your guidance from your doctor, get on right diets. you can have healthy baby. Your hubby may need sometime to wrap his head around it. He is not only risking loosing another baby but he maybe focused on what it could do to you too. mentally, physically and emotionally. take care of you and your family and we will pray for you!!

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Each pregnancy is different.

My 1st child was born 1 week early.
I then had a miscarriage. And D&C.
I then had my son. Perfectly normal pregnancy and he was born fine and healthy.

My Doc also said, to wait at least 3 months, after the miscarriage, before trying to conceive again. That is what I did.
After that I conceived my son.

You did not have an "abortion." You had a miscarriage.

Take prenatal vitamins. Even if trying to conceive or before.

Other than that, talk with your OB/GYN... about your concerns.
They have the medical knowledge.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

Everyone is differnt..what happend to you may not happen to someone else. you are 4 years older than before and possilby healther (or not). the best you can do is be positive and get your BODY prepared...the better your body is, the more chanced you have at carrying a child. get on the prenatals, get exercising and eating healthy...drink LOTS of water (no smoking etc) worrying about the what ifs causes stress almost as if yo uare willing yourself to not conceive/carry...perhaps your body was not prepared to have twins...
when in doubt, bring your question to your OBGYN...they may have better insight. I wish you luck

2 moms found this helpful

A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

My first daughter was born prematurely. I became pregnant again and had a miscarriage. I then became pregnant again and today is that baby's first birthday! She was born between 37 and 38 weeks. Please speak with your doctor about your concerns. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Talk with your doctor again and get a referral for a obstetric specialist if she thinks you need one. I know many women who have had multiple miscarriages and then one to three healthy pregnancies and babies. I know women who had great pregnancies a few times and then had a premature baby the second or third time around. Every pregnancy is different! Unless you have a diagnosed medical issue that can cause certain problems, you would probably be fine with another pregnancy, but only a doctor who has your medical history and has examined you can truly say anything for sure -and even they can't be sure a pregnancy will or will not miscarry or end prematurely. Good luck with everything!

2 moms found this helpful
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A.F.

answers from Tyler on

Only you can decide if you want to try again, I myself have not given up,
I had a m/c in 2004, a preemie in 2005 (6 1/2 weeks early with a complete cleft palate & cleft lip), a m/c in 2008, a m/c in 2009, a beautiful term little girl in 2010 and a m/c in 2011 (our little surprise) and I am not giving up. I am doing what I can to be healthy and to successfully carry a baby full term. Will it work out for you, I don't know and you can't know unless you try. However it is hard to have losses especially multiple losses, so even though I am not giving up I realize that it may just cause me more pain in then end.... however that blessing of a baby that I might have is worth it ~ to me and to my dh.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.Y.

answers from New York on

If you are having a lot of fears and questions you could get a notebook and try journaling all that is on your mind. If you write a little every day or almost every day for 2-4 weeks you will have a lot of material. then you can get a good idea of both your feelings and what questions you need to ask your doctor. Then you and your husband can sit down and talk to your doctor and see where things stand medically.

Many people have miscarriages and then have healthy babies after that. My grandma had 1 baby, a miscarriage and 4 more babies (the last at 42) and that was in the 40's and 50's so there was much less medical help available. Another friend of mine had 11 miscarriages along the way to having her 2 healthy children (she had an injury to her reproductive organs and other medical issues). Unless your doctor tells you otherwise you probably have a good chance at a healthy baby.

I have 2 kids and both were full term but spent some time in the NICU. Now at 5 and 2 they are both doing well and are healthy. But having my first one on the respirator for 10 days was very scary!

1 mom found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

This is not advice exactly, but I want to tell you what happened to me. I had one full term completely normal pregnancy. 21 months later, I had a 26 week preemie (he's a typical 16 yo now!), when said preemie was 9 months, I miscarried at about 12 weeks.

THREE FULL YEARS later I had a perfectly normal full term baby. So yeah, I think the baby machine needs some time to recupe, you know?

I'm so sorry about your twins :(

I wonder what the docs say?

1 mom found this helpful
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C.D.

answers from Milwaukee on

It is completely possible. My first was born at 32.5 weeks and they couldn't determine why. I too had a miscarriage at about 10 weeks (spontaneous abortion, people have trouble with the abortion word but it is the technical terminology). My third pregnancy was very closely monitored and I received Progesterone shots weekly from mid-second trimester to 36 weeks. The shots were most likely not needed, since my son did not come until 39.5 weeks. Completely different pregnancies and deliveries. The fear is always there but success stories do exist. Good luck to you and your family.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.K.

answers from Omaha on

I would agree that it is completely possible. In my first pregnancy, I too, had a premature baby. She was born at 28 weeks. The ultrasounds indicated that she was not as large as she needed to be, and they didn't know why. After a week of monitoring, the doctors decided it was time to take the baby by C-section. Once she was delivered, she spent 6 weeks in the NICU. She weighed a whopping 2 lbs. 4 oz. at birth, but was up to 5 lbs. when we brought her home. She is now a very healthy, normal 7 year old.

After the delivery the doctors conducted some blood tests to try to determine why this happened. It turns out that I have a blood clotting disorder called Factor V Lieden. It created calcium deposits and blood clots in the placenta, which inhibited nutrient flow to the baby. During my second pregnancy, they put me on a blood thinner, and she was delivered by a planned C-section at 36 weeks. She, too, is completely healthy, and ready to turn 4 in August.

Do you have any ideas why your first was born premature?

1 mom found this helpful
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A.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I know two people who had preemies earlier than your son - one at 25 weeks (a healthy, typical three-year-old now!) and one at 29 weeks (she is petite, but healthy as well). They both went on to have healthy, normal pregnancies after their preemies. It does depend on why your son was early, of course, and if I were you, I would definitely want to see a high-risk ob, just to be careful.

As you can see from the other answers, many, MANY women have miscarriages & end up having healthy babies later. That is what happened to me! Good luck & try not to worry too much, OK?

D.G.

answers from Lincoln on

My first was born at 29 weeks, due to a placental abruption not because of the other complications I was having! A 53 day stay in NICU but "caught up" by 3 years. Never thought I would have another because of all my problems. But surprise fast forward 10years and there I was pregnant. Scared to death the whole way thru what would happen if i would be able to carry the baby to term. I was stitched at 14 weeks, progesterone shots for a few months, extra ultrasounds, 2nd glucose test (not because I failed the first but because of something that I can't remember!!)...at my 36 week check they monitored her for over an hour to try to get movement because I wasn't feeling her and some leakage that wasn't water. But everything checked out and they thought I'd make it to my schedule c-section 3 weeks later. That night full blown water break and contractions. She was delivered the next morning. Officially at 36 weeks so technically a preemie but to me full term. She was twice the size as her sister and no NICU stay! The nurse practioner at my ob office told me it was normal that I would worry all the time after my previous experience. So Yes you can have a healthy pregnancy and baby again. But the worry probably will never truly be absent. You know too much. Just keep going to your appointments and call with any questions or worries. And keep supportive people around you! Good luck!

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

My response is less to "Can I have a baby" and more to the "hows". I had a normal first pregnancy, and during my second, I miscarried around 12 weeks, and they did a D&C. We waited the three months; I was far enough along that my doc was concerned about my body's recovery. That is the primary reason they suggest waiting--miscarrying IS being pregnant for a while, and especially if you were pregnant with twins, your body was putting energy and nutrients into helping that baby grow, and getting pregnant again takes another big toll on your body. Let your body recover first. So my third pregnancy, which started 4 months after I miscarried, was very rough. I don't know whether it's because my miscarriage was physically difficult, or because I was so nervous and anxious. I lost a bunch of weight because I was so anxious (20 lbs during my first trimester) and my doc tried to hospitalize me for a week but there were no more beds in the OB wing of our small hospital available. I was put on medical leave from my job. Anyway--I don't know the Whys of your miscarriage or your premature baby, but generally, I would think you could definitely have another baby. Talk to your doctor. And, since you're so concerned and anxious (as I was) I would also strongly recommend getting a referral to someone to talk to. A good therapist helped put my anxieties in perspective. Good luck to you!

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