Boys Fighting - Mexia,TX

Hi H.,

I don't really have any advice, but I am also a mother of 2 boys ages 3 and 7. They too seem to fight constantly. I think its just a boy thing. They are full of aggression. Now that the older one is playing sports again, things have settled down a bit. I think its because he has something else to put his aggression into. Don't know it that helps, but at least you know you aren't alone.

M.

Hi H.,

I have two boys 10 and 12. They used to fight alot but now they don't fight nearly as much.(at least not when I am around) I use the same trick my mom used when my brother and I would fight. She would make us hug each other and say "I love you" to each other. When my boys were 2 and 4 they didn't like it but they would hug each other and it would clear the air. Now, at 10 and 12 they would rather run naked through the streets than have to hug each other and say "I love you". When things get heated between them I ask them "Do you two need to hug it out?" and I get a resounding "NO". If it continues I do make them hug it out. The first time they hug it is usually not sincere and I tell them that they will have to do it again until I am convinced they really love each other. I usually have to make them "hug it out" about once every 4-6 months. It worked for my mom and it works for me. I hope it works for you or you find some other alternative. Good luck.

I have 3 grown boys. The closest in age are the youngest and they are 3 years apart. From the get go, I always told them how much they loved each other and how they will always be best friends. Well if you tell them that everyday, they will believe it. My youngest is 15 now, middle is 18, and the oldest is 24. They are still very close. Remember stay calm. When they are argueing go in with them and say why are being mean to your best friend. He loves you so much. He is a great big brother or little brother. You will be amazed how positve words can influence a relationship. No different with your husband or anyone else. Good luck.

I don't think it's because they are boys or because of their age....I have a 9 year old boy and a 5 year old girl and they fight like cats and dogs. I get so sick of it I tell them not to even look at each other. I feel your pain....

It is important for you to let them know that their behavior is unacceptable. If you are a Christian it would help tremendously for you to stress the importance of love and respect in a family.
Also, if you take your four year old aside and let him know that as the oldest you expect him to set the tone and take the lead with his younger brother. Help him figure out what makes him so angry and then help him figure out ways to deal with it, thus setting the example. It will take time, but it will help. Try to help your 2 year old to understand how he should show love to his brother.

I also have 2 boys 3 1/2 and 18 months, honestly i used to try to stop everything, now i just let them fight it out, if its yelling i make them go to their room and yell it out, now with the actual fighting (hey i wont lie its all day everyday, unless the baby is taking a nap) i do let them fight it out but if i think it has started to get to aggressive i make them stop or i get pillows and tell them to pillow fight it out, by the time i know it they are laughing and getting along. Or if they want to yell alot give them a pillow and tell them to yell in the pillow if they are going to yell other wise dont yell (you can call it the yellin pillow or something). But, dont worry Im guessing its a boy thing and boys will be boys, as much as my boys fight they also stick up for each other when they are playing with other kids and they are being mean to one of mine the other will give that kid a pop or something, so i know how ya feel, hang in there hopefully one day it will get better!! Ha we got boys lol!!

TWo words for ya! THE NANNY! There's an awesome book available, also she has a tv show. I loved her disiplinary advice and it works hunny!
Go find more about her on this webpage!

http://abc.go.com/primetime/supernanny/index?pn=epguide

~C.

Hold them close, tell them you love them. You wanted two sons and now your prayers were answered. Tell them that and also that they will be together for the rest of their lives and they should be happy and love each other, just like you love them and it would make you very happy. Suggest things you can do together and give them things to do. I guess lead them and set a good example. Be patient and they will do the same. Let's pray.

when my sister and I fought my mother used to threaten to lock us in the closet together until we learned to get along. So last summer I tried just that with my 2, only not the closet, their bed room.
I didn't think it was fair to the neighbours to hear their yelling so i told them to go to their room, they could yell and beat the snot out of each other all they wanted, and to come to me when they needed a bandaid.
All the way to their room they grumbled about whos fault it was but shotly after they got there they were talking about ways to "convince mom that we can get along so we can go back outside".

My 8 & 9 year olds are litteraly 13 months and a few days apart... the best thing I have found is makig them hug, I say "we love each other, we don't fight each other" and make them hug, even if it's ten times in 5 minutes... now that they are getting older its funny, one will be yelling and the other will "mock me" and hug the other one say "we love each other"... it is funny at my expense but has curbed so much through the years! I also make them say nice things while they hug... like "your a good brother, you are funny, nice ect... I don't believe in psych babble because every family and kid is different, your 2yr old is at a frusterating age (I'm right there with my daughter) of wanting to be like his big brother, help him mimic positive things big brother does... they won't get along all the time but some peace is possible!
~ D.