Best Advice

Updated on August 18, 2007
M.B. asks from Middletown, CT
12 answers

I have a beautiful 18mo. little girl and I'm scheduled for a c-sec for twin boys in 2 weeks. Needless to say I'm getting a bit nrevous. I will have help from my mom and mother-in-law for about a month. It is after that time that makes me nervous. What is the best advice you have for me?

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A.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Go to babywhisperer.com and look at the Two Under Two and twin advice boards. There's a ton of helpful advice!

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B.H.

answers from Kansas City on

i don't have much advice b/c i don't have twins, but i do have three daughters ages 5, 2 1/2 and 1. but i would like to give you encouragment. God has thought that you are one of the special ones to get two at a time, so I'm sure that you'll do great. Just relax and take each day one at a time. Congrats!

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Y.S.

answers from Springfield on

I don't have twins, but my kids are 4, 3, 19 month and 5 month, so they're really close in age.
My best advice: Take all the help you can get! If you don't have to do it alone, don't. I had to get over my pride to let other people do my dishes and such, but it's so much easier that way.
Other than that there's not much to say, you'll grow with the responsibilities and get used to them quickly.
One more thing: Rather than letting people take the older one off your hands, let them take the babys (if possible and you're not nursing) and spend some quality time with her.
The best of luck to you and your family, you will do just fine!

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N.H.

answers from Kansas City on

M., The best advice I can give you is to allow everyone to do as much as they want. Don't turn down any offers to help. Prioritize, once you are at home by yourself. Take care of yourself and your babies,that is your only job. Everything else can be done later. Take it easy, Take it easy!!!

M.A.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi M.,

First of all, congratulations! Don't worry, let life bring you happiness and things will go well. You are evry lucky to have moms to help, don't be afraid of asking for help to friends if you need it, and try to sleep whenever the twins do.
Keep your doctors numbers handy for questions or advice on anything, just for your own peace of mind and also make sure that you have a car working fine in case you need it. You knoe how is with babies...it may not be serious but you feel better if the doctor sees them. Try to have everything that you might need organized to help you with stress, you will have less sleep and that makes mommy stress and tired so it is better to have everything that you can think ready.
Hopfully you 'll have two adorable boys and have no trouble at all.
Things to think about, your little girl will be walking and trying to touch the babies, so make sure you have something that will work for you when that happens. My friend end up putting her new baby on top of the table to sleep with no chairs around so the little walker can't touch him or wake him up. Of course on a portable craddle!
If you can afford it would be nice to have a number of a baby sitter that can come and watch your girl for a while so you can rest if needed. May be a childrens day out programm can work fro your girl so she can have fun and make friends while you have some relief.
And make sure you find time for yourself or something that you enjoy doing that include adults, may be not on the first months, but you will need it!
Last but not least...enjoy them as much as you can, they grow up fast!
When they turn 3 years old you will start missing the baby sounds.
Have a safe and great delivery and let us know!

Mariana Abadie
www.MyKidsfirst.com

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M.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm about to have a baby and have a one year old, but my advice comes from my mother who had me, and then twin boys a year and nine days later, and my sister who had boy/girl twins and then a baby girl 14 months later and a cousin who had almost the same thing.......

Be good to your husband. Don't forget to focus on your marriage and keep that number one, no matter what. The two of you are a team and need to get yourselves through the next four or five years, and then, you'll be sitting together at the pool watching your kids play together or at the park holding hands on a bench while they laugh and run around with one another - it will be worth it if you two can stick it out through these sleepless nights, diaper changes and crying. You both just need to keep your eye on the larger picture - especially at 3am when you're both exhausted, cranky and wondering what you got yourself into!! My mother would tell you today that having them that close was the best decision she ever made because the three of us kids are the closest of friends. And she's right, the best gift I was ever given was having my brothers, and they would tell you the same.
Compliment your husband, make time for him (which seems impossible - easier said than done :) ) and most of all - talk to each other about what you're both going through. Good luck!!!!!!

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N.K.

answers from Kansas City on

M.-
Congratulations! This will be a trying time, but such a wonderful time for you and your family. I had a c-section with my first child and then had a vbac with the second. Having help for a month will be such a blessing for you all. By the time they leave, you should have some what of a routine down. Try your best to take advantage of your help by sleeping and resting and most importantly, enjoying the babies!!! They grow up so fast. Don't get caught in making sure everything in the house is picked up and when someone offers to help out, take it! If you call any of the meal preperation places, they will put together your meals for free since you are having babies. There are several around the area to choose from and they are very reasonable.
Good luck!

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L.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Hello M.,

First off congrats on the twin boys!! I was just in a similiar situtation I had a 23 month old and just had a baby boy back in April via C-section. I have to admit it wasn't easy even with having help because my daughter didn't understand why mommy couldn't do everything for her that I normally do. But after about a week of it she was a little better.

Just please do one thing while you have the help. Get plenty of sleep; take advantage of it. Because crazy me that I needed to stay awake and just kind of entertain my help. I was dragging so bad. I finally after two weeks of no sleep started taking advantage of having the help.

Making some meals up ahead of time really helped out to. I made some and then froze them. That away all my husband, my help or I had to do was throw it in the oven. It made it much easier.

I hope this helps a little bit. It's tough at first and I just had one baby so I can't imagine an 18 month old and two babies. I wish you very best of luck!

L.

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B.S.

answers from Kansas City on

WOW! You're going to be SO BUSY! :) The best thing you can do for yourself and those around you is to SLEEP and REST at any chance you get. My own kids are 14 months apart and I thought I had it hard when I brought #2 home! I imagine 2 newborns and a young toddler will be a bit more work than I had. ;) But you know what, you will adjust and you will learn what works for you and your family as you go along. Try to develop a routine/schedule for feeding and sleeping (meaning make them ALL sleep at the same time so you can rest!) And DO NOT worry about the housework for a little while, hubby can help out with that and you can both work on it during the times he's off work like on weekends. If you have family or friends offer to help with housework, cooking, babysitting, TAKE their help! God knows you're busy and He's sending angels to assist you!
Congratulations on your two upcoming arrivals and I hope the delivery goes well for you.

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J.A.

answers from Kansas City on

M. - I'm the mother of 6 month old twin boys as well (born 2 months early, 4 weeks in the NICU). I have to tell you that the first 3 months are so, so hard! I'm saying this as a mom who only has twins. You also have another kiddo to take care of. Absolutely get some outside help. My MIL would come over during the day just so I could sleep. And then my mom came and stayed with us for several weeks. I can honestly say I don't remember much of those first few months. I'm so glad I had some outside help otherwise I might have jumped out the window. Feel free to email me anytime... I have a lot of twin boy clothes if you are interested :-) ____@____.com

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W.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi,
Well I would have to say the best thing you can do is get you twins on a good feeding schedule/sleeping schedule. If you are breastfeeding good luck, I had a friend that had a terrible time with it (she has twins and 2 older kids), if you are formula feeing you will be able to get the schedule down. Also assign 1 person to each baby or you take care of the babies but write down when they ate, when you changed them and so on. This way there is no mass confussion. The first few days out of the hospital will be the worst the babies are all confused. Get lots of sleep benefits of a good sleeping schedule. W.

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V.G.

answers from Kansas City on

My twins girls just turned a year old a few days ago. I have foru other kids the youngest of wich is just about to turn five. So I didn't have a toddler in the house when the girls were born. I But i have done the baby/ toddler thing.
This is going to be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. It is lso going to be one of the hardest and most trying. It's really really hard. And you really really can do it.
So I have several little piesce of advice that you can take, or not.
First. Don't let enyone tell you you can nurse twins. Mine are a year old and still nursing. It can be done. If you want specific advice on nursing email me.
Second, Having twins is really a wonderous expeience. Don't let yourself get so caught up in how hard it is that you forget to cherish it. When things get really bad i load up both girls and take them out. Everyone stops you, everyone
wants to see them. It's amazing. And it makes everyone happy.
Third, there are likey to be people coming out of the woodwork to help. Let them. Let them hold a baby. Let them change one. Let them rock one. Let them help. Keep in mind too that it is easier to get someone to hold a baby while you get the dishes done than to do the dishes while you hold the baby. Trust me you will get alots of baby holding time. spread the wealth.
Practical stuff. If you have trouble telling them apart a sharpie marker on the big toes of one of them is very helpful.
The best stroller I have seen for the first year or so is the doulble version of the Snap and Go. I don't have one and it wouldn't help me much now but it's the one thing I really wish I had.

This is a really wonderful amazing thing. And it's very difficult. and you -can- do it. Take care. and good luck.

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