Being a SAHM

Hi! You could look into a local Mothers Club where you live. I belong to the Novato Mothers Club and I started going to a playgroup when my son was 5 weeks old. He is now almost 2 1/2. I met so many great moms and my son has so many great playmates.

Join a mothers' group right away - don't be shy - it will be worth it. Try Las Madres. Look up their web site.

I'm back at work, now, but when I was home these were some favorites:
-go for a walk
-go to the park
-running other errands
-maybe the library (depending on the baby)
-beach
-niles canyon railway in fremont
-vasona park in los gatos
-oakland zoo
-happy hollow in san jose
-Mommy and me swimming
-gymboree/little gym

You little one might be a little small for some of these now, but in a few months she'll be ready...Also, running errands (even grocery shopping) is a good way to break up the day.

Have fun!!! :)

This is the perfect time for baby to learn to self entertain. Just put him on a mat or blanket on the floor with toys or the play gym that hangs over his head and go do your chores, shower etc. I did this with both of my kids and they were great at keeping themselves occupied even as teens.

Lots of great ideas here! I think the most important thing is to get out of the house every day. I was never a joiner, though I know some women really like being part of a moms club. I spent many hours at different parks, the library and the zoo. Sometimes I went alone, and sometimes with another mom. I also did mommy and me swim lessons and kindergym through the community center (a great way to meet new people if you're shy!)
You will find your own routine, so relax and just try to enjoy this special time :)

Congratulations and this is NOT a silly question. My daughter was the same age last summer and I didn't have a clue what to do with her. This is what I've found thus far:
1-mommy and me yoga
2-story time at our local library-free and you can meet other moms
3-any baby music class-not cheap but again, you get to meet other moms
4-take your little one to the pet store and have your baby check out the fish, birds, etc. Lots of free entertainment
5-find a dog grooming place and have your baby watch the animals get groomed
6-I still struggle with getting things done...helps if you have a baby bjorn
7-mommy and me play groups?
8-some movie theatres have matinees specially for SAHMs and you can bring your baby to the movies..they turn down volume
Good luck!

Congratulations you have made it thru the initial hard newborn days, it will get easier for a little & then new challenges of difficulty with the bay starts crawling. Right now is a great age because you can leave him on the floor propped up or if he/she is sitting already even better. You can set him/her up, on the floor on a blanket with some toys & be able to get chores done that way-he won't be able to go anywhere if he is not crawling-just keep checking on him/her. I used to move my daughter from one activity to the next. (she is 10 months now) bouncy chair for 15 or 20minutes-till she got bored, swing-same, she would watch the dvd program your baby can read-very educational & FUN dvd for babies- 1 to 2 time per day (20 minutes each time) we'd go on a walk, outside in the infant swing, erands, read books, lay with her on the floor when she wan'ted some attention & play games like peek a boo, hide the toy (under a blanket & have them find it) tickleing...etc. When you get on a schedule of what you will do each day, it makes being @ home much easier & the hours go by quicker. I also would join a mama & baby group for play dates if you can in your area. My are doesn't have this so I ended up meeting someone @ the groccery store-of all places & decided to be bold & ask her if she knew of any mama/baby groups...she did, I joined it but then it ended up being not very active so her & I now meet once a week,the 2 of us & the babies & play in the park, get a coffee etc. Good luck & enjoy. They grow SO fast & when they start crawling it gets more challenging so go out to lunch w/ friends even if they don't have babies since your baby will sit in her car seat for now or let you hold them....when they crawl they always want to get down & it becomes more work trying to enjoy a meal out. haha. :) Have fun

Your feelings are very natural and normal. I would suggest trying to find some mommy and baby classes or social groups. It is so helpful to have other moms to talk to and it gets you out and about during the day. As for getting chores done, do you have a baby swing or anything that might entertain your baby for a while?

She won't be 5 months for long... Get a blow up swimming pool she can sit and splash in - or for the next couple of months you can put sand in one (get two, they're not expensive :) ) Join a mothers group or contact your local park and rec to see what they offer. Remember, bike trails are often good stroller trails. Look for your local Gymboree or MyGym or other fun place to take your daughter for an hour or two a week. It's a great place to meet other moms and babies. Babies love bubbles and if you blow them outside the wind blows them.

Check out these sites for other ideas: http://reddingrecreation.org/
http://www.visitredding.org/thingstosee.cfm

Look into a Mothers' Club in your area. They have playgroups (which at this age are more for the moms), but eventually the kids will play together. They often have speakers on various subjects, newsletters and you can get advice from more experienced moms as well.

Join some moms' groups. I found one in my area I love on meetup.com

Hi! R.:
I had worked full-time since I was 19 and had my first baby at 38 and was a stay-at-home mom!! I didn't think I would know what to do but you just figure it out. I used to go to the mall during the summer because it was cool and let him venture a little in the play area there. Go online and find a mom's group in your area.....those are great!!! Too bad you're not in Stockton as there are a few of us within a small group and it has been great! As for chores, good luck!! My house was always spotless prior to babies and then.....well, I get to it if and when I get to it. You can't stess yourself over it.
Good luck and let us know what you end up doing!!!!

My boys are 5 and 7 and I have been at home with them since the beginning. Everyone has there own routines and yours will just come too you, no one can tell you what to do because you and your child are different from everyone else. You may get some good ideas (Don't get me wrong, I am not knocking any ideas) I just think you will find your own groove in time. Most important- enjoy the time you are getting to spend with you child. Good Luck!

Dear R.,

Being a new mother at 22, there are no silly questions. I will say I think you are very fortunate to be able to stay at home and raise your son. I have family members working as firefighters and the wives and girlfriends seem to have a pretty close relationship.

Have you made friends with the other fire fighters families? If not maybe you that have a big BBQ, potluck before your husband goes back to work. I’ll bet you will develop a really supportive network and make some lasting friendships.

Blessings…..

Hi R.,

You will be just fine :O) I know it's scary to be "the mom" when you've never had to do it before, but now you have to do it alone. You can do it, R. :o)

Sure you want to make your baby entertained, but it doesn't mean that you devise all these plans to entertain your precious baby. Your baby will be entertained by watching you!

With my 2nd baby, I made sur to make MY chores a part of everyday life. This way he knew, even as a baby, mommy had to go "rotate the laundry". With my 1st son, my world revovled around him :O) I dropped everything for his "whimper" or needs. But, doing that can be exhausting on mommy.

My suggestion, develope a morning routine that gets YOUR chores done, because babies are happiest to entertain themselves in the morning. Then, after your babies nap, you are "stress-free" because your chores are done, and you are dressed :O) The rest of your time is to play with your baby.

R., the trick to being a SAHM is to "juggle" life with children. You know, the laundry, dishes, bills, etc... The sooner you try to implement a routine for yourself, the sooner your baby will expect you to do things for yourself.

You cannot get overwhelmed, because if your baby is only 5 months old, then you still have 2 years to practice being a SAHM according to my life :O) That's about how long it took me to figure it all out....maybe even longer!

~N. :O)

R.,
You will do great!! Just relax and enjoy :0) I was also nervous about being home alone and wondering if I could take care of my baby and the house at the same time. Like others writers wrote you need a routine. In the begining I wrote everything that needed to be done and broke it all down into days.
Some thoughts was when in the kitchen I put my daughter in her bouncer or bumble chair (learning how to sit supported) and let her play while she watched me clean my kitchen.
I took showers during her naps with the monitor in the bathroom with me :0)
Cleaning living room and doing laundry she was in her swing or jumper.
Cleaning bathroom I put her in her play pen with some toys. I didn't want her around any fumes from the bathroom chemical odors :0)
I also did my chores in the morning so I got it all out of the way and before it started getting hot.
We also went for walks around our neighborhood (in the mall on very hot days), meet up with other mothers with babies her age, went to little gym, grocery shopping, or just shopping.
Hope this helped :0)
T.

Hi R.,

Nope, not a silly question at all! I found it helpful to plan at least one activity each day that was outside of the house. This is good for baby because s/he gets to experience new sights and sounds, but mostly it is a sanity saver for mom. You can join a mom's support group (most hospitals in the Bay Area have them), find a walking group or just go out on your own (the Starbucks by my house saw a lot of me!), join your local mom's group and see if there are any play groups, join the Y or other gym that has a heated pool that you can take baby in, etc... Again, I felt like if I could get out of the house at least once a day then things were good. I didn't feel so cooped up and like I had to the baby's sole source of entertainment and stimulation. Lucky for you, summer is almost here so you'll be able to be out and about a lot. Enjoy...

Hi R.,

I became a SAHM after my third child was born. So, I was freaked at the prospect of figuring out what to do with them all day. At that time, I was going to be alone all day with a 4yo, 2yo, and a 5mo. This is a normal reaction. However, I quickly discovered that I needed a plan for each day, but it had to be flexible enough so that if something came up I could go with the flow.

Initially, I had a hard and fast schedule done (my job was project managing so I went a little overboard). I realized quickly it was not going to work. Now, I have daily goals. For example, Monday is laundry day, Tuesday is grocery shopping, Wednesday is vacuuming, etc. This way I can not do everything all in one day. And, my DH is so supportive because he knows when things are going to happen. Also, he lets things slide if it has been a hard day with the kids.

So, make sure you come up with a plan (babies love the swing, do a park day once a week, fold the laundry after the baby is napping or down for the night). Then, discuss it with your husband and get his buy in. When you have 2 people tackling one kid and the stuff around the house, it is a lot easier than one doing it all.

I hope this helps.

D.

I went out to playgrounds and parks all the time. I hated being at home alone. As for chores - it's really hard. You just do them when you can.

The only thing I can add- being a CHRONIC precrastinator - is make a schedule for your errands and chores so you don't end up with 8 loads of wrinkly laundry to fold that you washed last week. I still do that sometimes - I HATE folding laundry. Anyway - join a moms group - I joined one through our medical insurance where once a week you went in a group session to talk with an advice nurse, ask questions, weigh babies compare notes and then off to Starbucks. I ended up bonding with 3 other moms and we still get together once a month - our "babies" are 4 now!
Also - I've posted play date requests on this site and met some cool moms in my area so give that a try too!

Get to know your neighbors... if there is a 10 - 12 year old that lives close by, hire them to be a "mommy's helper" for the summer. You don't need to pay them that much because of their age and the fact that you will be there while they're "working" and they can entertain the baby while you get some things done. Have them come over for a couple of hours every day...

Hi R.,
I know this was suggested, but I strongly urge you to join a mother's group. I was reluctant as I thought I wouldn't have anything in common w/ the women. I was professional career driven person (& still am and have trouble coping w/ that at home) and figured the others in the group would all be homely homemakers. Boy, was I wrong! I've been in a playgroup for a couple of months. The women are pretty cool! If the 1st playgroup you join doesn't seem that great or you don't have much in common w/ the women, look for another one.
By the way, you'll be plenty busy w/ a 5 mos. old w/o looking for activities to do w/ the baby. Best of luck and enjoy!!

Hi R.,

Being a mom is a hard job and I can understand how long those days can be. You need to find some good mommy and me stuff. Check out your local library, they probably have reading times during the day. Your baby is never too young to take them to Parent and Me swim lessons. Your baby will love the water and you will meet some other moms. Google some local moms groups or mother's clubs.

Also, check around for some stroller fitness programs. I own a Baby Boot Camp franchise and love it. Not only do the ladies get a good work out but it's a playgroup for the kids and a support group for the moms. For me, it's also added income for owning and instructing my own classes. I love it.

Finally, don't be afraid to start up a converstaion at the park or grocery store. There are many other women looking for friens and are feeling the same way you are!

Good luck,

J.

Look for a MOMS Club in your area. MOMS Club is designed for stay-at-home moms because the activities are scheduled during the day, when you're home with the baby. My chapter has activities planned for almost every day of the month, so there's always something to go to when you're feeling isolated at home. It's a wonderful way to meet other mom's who are staying home, creating friendships for you and for your children. You can look up a chapter in your area at MOMSClub.org. I joined 4 years ago and it was the best thing I did for myself! Best of luck, R., and congrats on your new baby. :)

Hi R.,
Don't stress too bad. Just do what you can do. You will develop a routine that works for you around your baby.

Hi R.,

Yeah for you and congratulations!! You are so lucky that your husband was able to stay home with you and your baby for so long. I know the anxiety that you are feeling though and believe me this too shall pass. When my son was 5 months he was taking a morning nap and an afternoon nap. I would plan things around his schedule. Often times before his afternoon nap I would put him in his baby bjorn and we would walk around the block. I would talk and sing to him and he loved it. I loved it too and I wish that I could still do this, but he's a little too big now. Another fun thing to do is to take your little one to the park. I've met some of my newest and closest mommy friends at the local park in my neighborhood. We now plan things to do with all of our little one's and it's great. We've created a great network. You can also post a question on MamaSource seeking moms or a moms group in your area. You might be surprised! If your little one isn't sleeping the library for story time is a great place to go. Our local library has a story time that includes infants and it's great. My son loves it and I've met several moms there as well. Best of luck and don't stress it!!!! Once you start getting out there with your little one you'll meet other moms in the area and before you know it your little one will have more friends than you - I know that mine does. :)

Take care!!!

It's hard to entertain a baby all day! You can put the baby in a sling carrier or a backcarrier to have your hands free for chores. Also, at that age most babies love wind up swings and "bouncers." Take a lot of walks, and take them to the park. Reading is something you can do, because you read a little, then the baby wants something, then you read a little more, then the baby needs this or that--- it's an activity that is not ruined by being broken up into small chunks of time.

I was anxious about being a sahm too. I found that my daughter pretty much entertained herself given the right stuff to play with. A laundry basket with balls in it is infinitly entertaining to a baby that is cruising. There are so many great suggestions. Here are mine:

--get a baby carrier (an ergo, bjorn, etc) and wear the baby while you do things like vacuum or dust. Use a pack-n-play, swing, or gym mat for the baby in or near the room you are cleaning in.

-- go on walks and go to the park- tummy time can be had on grass outside too you know

-- join a mommy group. There are lots of free ones and there are also non-profits with a minimal fee like Las Madres that help organize playdates with other moms in your area. I'm a member of Las Madres and I love it.

---Many bookstores and libraries have regular baby lapsit storytimes (these are my favorite)-- many of the Santa Clara and San Jose Library system libraries like Campbell Library, Saratoga Library, Rosegarden Library have them as well as and several Barnes and Nobles. It's another great way to meet other moms with babies your child's age.

---There are also Mommy and Me days at several shopping malls that are free, you just show up with your child.

--go to the beach
--read to your baby
--play games like "peekaboo" and "how big"
--give her different textures to play with
-- show her all the plants outside (I do this when I garden)

I think you get the idea. Have fun!

Be sure to take some time out to play with your baby, but also let him/ her play with toys in a play pen or other safe area. Only children need to learn to play by themselves or they will drive you crazy. With my son, I schedule a couple hours a day that he gets my undivided attention. At your baby's age, that could be go for a walk or some other activity. Then throuout the rest of the day I interact with him as I am working and may take a few 15 minute play breaks but other than that he needs to play by himself.

Find a group of moms with kids the same age. Las Madres was a life saver for me! Perhaps your ob or hospital or church/temple/mosque will have suggestions. Being with other moms helps you find ways to get out of the house. Do something free every day. Find a library story time (even Barnes and Noble has free weekly story time). Go to the park. Walk around and look at the flowers and the birds. Sing. Talk to your little one. Find some time for yourself - this is key! There are lots of unemployed teens this summer, some of whom have taken the Red Cross babysitting class and will know CPR and have additional skills. If you can't pay them, maybe you can swap a skill like teaching them to cook (or making brownies in exchange for an hour of babysitting) or sewing. It is overwhelming but you'll make it!

Hi R., being a sahm is so rewarding, but of course like any job there will be challenges in a given day too. I've been at home with our 3.5 yr old since birth and I wouldn't have done anything different. Being a mom is a job like no other. A mother's influence is like no other caregiver. My husband's salary was just cut but we are blessed to have our needs taken care of in our troubling economy. Try to find a moms group for the summertime, community center, library, church, summer camps etc to fill up your summertime. Before you know it, you'll be a pro. :>

One of the things you can try when you have a chance is a Gymboree Play and Music class. All of us in the Bay Area offer a free class the first time. If you like the class, you can then decide to enroll. It would be fun for you and the baby and would allow you to meet other parents of babies of similar age. For a look at what we do and our class schedules, check www.gymboreeclasses.com.

J. F.