Bedtime Question

I had messed up my childs bedtime, but letting her sleep with us everytime she cried till she was 9 mths. Now she is 18mths and she is on a great schdule and learned bedtime routine and looks forward to it. I put my baby in at 730pm and she goes to sleep by 8pm on her own. She listens to her cd and has a aqua light attached to her crib that she watches. Then she is up at 630am. Children dont sleep in, and also advice, i tried it and also heard from others.. the later you put them to bed, they still will wake at there morning time, my baby 630am, the only differance is that you'll have a cranky baby if you put them to bed later.. they need the 10-11 hrs of sleep. Hope this helped.

Yes, ignore them...you have to do what is right for you. I think sometimes babies just need some quiet alone time.

You are not doing anything wrong!!! Each child is different. I remember when my son was that age and hadn't napped well and was cranky I would put him to bed at 6:30pm. After a couple nights of an earlier bedtime maybe you can push her off a bit. But stretching the awake time usually only backfires. Actually...sometimes kids that go to be later wake up earlier. For some strange reason..the more sleep a child gets..the better they go down and later they sleep.
A book I found very usefull on this issue was "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." The author's name was something like Weissbluth. But the title is correct.
Hope this helps!!!

Firstly, always do what feels right to you. Don't let others make you question your excellent maternal instincts. I think it's great to have an early bed time. Just keep in mind that when we turn the clocks back an hour in Nov. you may need to adjust again :). Babies don't care what the time on the clock is. Remember she will be waking an hour earlier too. That's always fun! I have an early riser who wakes me up more reliably than an alarm at 6am, so my new wake up will be 5am until we can adjust to the time change!! The other thing may be to try an afternoon nap so she may stay happy a bit later into the evening.

Every baby is different and if she is happy then that is all that matters. My son went to bed between 8 & 9 when he was and infant and was up at 6 so later bed time does not always make for a later wake up time. You should not feel you are doing anything wrong no matter what anyone says. It is your child and you know her best. If she is content to be in her crib instead of being up and getting fussy and you get to spend quality time with her then what is the problem. Some babies need that time on their own so they don't get overstimulated and if she is soothing herself to sleep after being put down awake then all the better for you as she gets older. Just remember, nobody can tell you what is best for your child. They can suggest and you can choose to accept (try) or reject (ignore) their suggestion. Besides what better time for you & hubby to be able to spend time alone together (it gets harder as they get older). Hope this helps, or at least makes you feel better.

oh my gosh, i think what you are doing is perfect. my first did the same thing. went down at 6:30. people were shocked, but she slept until about 5:30-6am so she was getting her 12 hours at night which is what they suggest at that age. what's even better is that she has already learned to put herself to sleep because she is being put down awake. that's one of the hardest things to accomplish...congrats!!! my first fell asleep nursing or by bottle. so you are golden. also you get to do dinner alone with your husband which is what i enjoyed most. it will change down the road. but enjoy it now and don't second guess yourself. if they say something again, just tell them your pediatrician said it was a good thing. my new one is going down about 6:30 so i hope she follows suit with my first for sleeping through the night soon!

Hi R.,

Don't feel bad. What you are doing is a great gift: you are teaching her to self-soothe. In the first year, all kids go through many many changes and just when you thought you had the routine figured out, they change again.
She may be needing less nap time during the day... If she is not cranky and overtired, she is probably getting enough sleep. The playtime before falling asleep is normal. My son does it quite often, except when he is very tired.
If you need to talk to someone, JFCS has great sleep consultants. One of them - Lynne Bail runs the afternoon question time at the Watertown Network. You can stop by and ask her a few questions. If you need more than just a couple of questions answered, call JFCS and book a consult with her.
JFCS (open to all faits):
http://www.jfcsboston.org/fcs/sleep_consultations.cfm
Watertown Family Network:
http://www.watertown.k12.ma.us/wfn/childrensplay.html

I hope this helps,
A.

Our daughter has always gone to bed quite early, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I think it's great that your daughter can snuggle and wind down alone. (Even though its hard not to want to play/cuddle with her!) As far as stretching the evening, if you wanted to keep her up later, I would probably try to postpone bedtime by about 10 minutes or so every couple of days--a gentle way to ease her into a later bedtime! Don't feel like you're doing anything wrong, though! :)

Yes, ignore the advice of others and trust your instincts. A baby who can contentedly spend time in their own bed before falling asleep is a blessing! My first son was usually in bed at 7 and my second son (only 2 months) is often ready for bed at about 6, even with a late afternoon nap.

For us, the time they went to bed very rarely affected the morning wake time (with DS1, pretty regularly 6am, all year long for 3 years now)

If she isn't waking up at 5am, I'd say go with it - it might change in a few weeks anyways.

Hi R.,

Yes, ignore them. As much as they think they are "helping" you out by giving you "advice"...they donn't know your child as well as you do. When my now 5 1/2 year old was a baby, she would go to bed around 6-6:30pm as well... I had this guilt that I should have been spending more time with her after I got out of work, but the truth is, that is what she needed at the time...her rest, not play time. It sounds like you and your hubby are doing everything you can to spend time with her as well as keep a routine. Eventually she won't go down at 6, this is only for the time being I am sure. My kids started out going to bed super early but as they get older, they stay up a little later and later, not unreasonably later, but you probably get my gist. :) My girls share a room and are in bed in between 7:30-8 and they don't always fall asleep right away, they listen to their lullaby cd, talk to one another, fool around, giggle etc. I wouldn't worry about your daughter hanging out and having down time before she falls asleep...so long as she isn't screaming crying or anything she is fine. Keep up the good work. :)

If she is not screaming, GREAT! If she can put herself to sleep and plays contently in her bed, than you are doing a GREAT JOB at nighttime (better than ME!) I found that the later my kids went to bed, the harder it became and the later they stayed up (I figured they would just get exhausted but their bodies go into overdrive). Remember, what works for you, works for you-- despite what anyone else may think!

I would definitely ignore what other people say how long and what time your daughter "should be" sleeping and what they think is an acceptable bedtime. If you're little one is tired, then she should go to bed. Your baby is sleeping very well, self-soothes by listing to music and getting comfortable all on her own all in just a 1/2 hour time, then that is FANTASTIC!! My daughter was a good night time sleeper but didn't like naps, so we just really didn't do them (little cat naps only). Instead, she Conked-Out at night and I felt extremely fortunate when I heard what other mom's and dad's had to deal with at night (screaming, constantly awakened, hard to get back to sleep etc). My daughter actually would go to bed around 8pm and would sleep until around 7am with a one time feed/change in the middle of the night. I was totally lucky!! If your baby is cranky, trying to keep her up will only make her miserable...I've tried... (especially if she's sleeping as well as you have said). To make you feel less guilty about the early bedtime and if you're not already doing it, start your nighttime routine once she starts getting cranky...turn off the TV and phone, read stories, sing some sleepy-time songs together then put her down for bed with her CD etc. It will be a nice way to wind down, get some extra cuddle time in, and make her totally ready for bed. She's only taking 1/2 hour to fall asleep now, and that's AWESOME!!! You're doing a fantastic job!!

Hi R.,
Just wanted to give you a quick thought. When you go to bed do you fall asleep right away? Most people take that time to wind down from the day relax than fall asleep. Babies are not any different. It's great to put her to bed when she is still awake, sleepy but not over tired. I have two kids 3 and 2 and they have been sleeping through the night since they were 3monts old. When they do wake up I know something is really wrong. No one knows your baby better than you.

Best wishes
Kim

Count yourself one of the lucky ones! You are teaching your daughter how to soothe herself and enjoy her quiet time in her crib. My daughter has always laid in her crib and listened to her crib music player and cuddled with her animals before falling asleep-- and she's almost 2 years old now. Now I can put her down for naps and bedtime and she is content and happy (not screaming and crying like some babies). I think it was because we allowed her to enjoy this alone time and she knows it is okay. Also, babies get tired of being held and handled so much during the day, I think they like some quiet time. As long as she is safe and secure in her crib, she is fine! Better than fine! Do not feel guilty!!

Hi R.,

The short answer to your question:

Yes, IGNORE the people who are making you feel like you are doing something wrong. If that works for you and the baby seems happy, there is nothing wrong with that.

She is only 6 months old, you will have PLENTY of time to play with her, cuddle her, etc. There will come a point when she will NOT have the same schedule and she probably will buck you on her bedtime. Enjoy the time if it works for you!!

Good luck!!

you are doing the RIGHT thing. Ignore other people who think they "know better" than you. If your baby is tired that early, put her to sleep. My son wouldn't fall asleep that early, but he did need to go to sleep by about 7 eventually, and people thought *THAT* was early (once we explained why we couldn't go out to some evening events b/c we couldn't get, or afford, a babysitter all the time...)believe me, we even got comments like "He goes to bed THAT early?" :-)

Yes, he does.

I had friends whose babies needed to go to sleep around the same time yours does, 5:30 or 6, so they just went with it.
she won't do that all the time, but she's little and needs her sleep, so go with it.

as for letting her talk and self-soothe for 1/2 hour? LET HER DO THAT AS WELL...trust me...you'll be glad you did. think about it: as adults, we don't always drop right off to sleep...we lie there and think and move around a bit first (at least, I do.) Babies don't always drop off the second you put them down. My son would coo and move around for a bit before sleeping. at first I felt like you did; but then I realized he just needed to do that first. LET HER. Its good for her to learn to wind down and fall asleep on her own. good luck

You shouldnt feel guilty at all, your the mom and its your child, everyone does something different. It is a very early bed time but if that is when she is ready than there is nothing wrong with that. The only thing I can suggest if you like to change it is to make your whole schedule change, try to make you stick with a routine everyday so that she gets used to the things that are going on. I dont think you should try to keep her up to late to see how late she will sleep in cause then she will always think that she gets to stay up late. My son is one and from about 4 months on we have had the same routine...he goes to bed at 8 sleeps till about 8, 8:30 has a bottle than breakfast then goes down for a nap between 10 and 10:30, he gets up and eats lunch we play and then he goes down for another nap aroung 3..dinner and play time. Its very easy if you can get a schedule going and I know its not that easy for everyone but it doesnt hurt to try. I dont know if this helps but good luck. And dont feel guilty if it works for you and your family then leave it at that.

My son is 10 months and has been going to bed between 6-630 since he was about 6 months and loves it, he plays for a few minutes or maybe 1/2 hour and then falls asleep, but before I lay him down we spend about 5 minutes just quietly rocking in the chair, but he loves going to bed early and usually sleeps 6-6am, it gives us time at night to ourselves.

My advice is to let her sleep. If she's not waking up at 4 AM wanting to play, then all is well. I think this is completely normal. If she is getting up way too early, try to stretch out the bed time, if not, let it be. My first never slept, my second was sleeping through the night at 4 mo. old. Just remember, babies tend to have their own schedule, when she gets a little older, then you can set her schedule for her.

R., Do NOT let others freak you out! You have to do what works for "your" little one. My son is 2 now, but his sleep schedule has changed at different ages. I have many friends that put thier babies to bed at 6-6:30, nothing strange about it. It seems to me she likes as what my husband and I call "down time". Some nice self-soothing/quiet time is great and will only help when it comes time to not rock her as much. Good Luck ps never had luck w/streching the evening awake time, still got up at the same time!! K.

I know you feel guilty but believe it or not you are actually doing your child a favor by putting her to bed still awake & in months/years to come it is a HUGE reward. Your child is learning to soothe herself and be comfortable and safe in her bed and put herself to sleep. Some parents will wait till their child is fully asleep before putting them to bed. Then when the child does wake, he/she is completely freaked out because that is not where they fell asleep or cannot go back to sleep on their own because they no longer have the soothing comforts they need to fall asleep (aka mommy or daddy’s arms, being walked or bounced or a swing). Allowing your child to lay awake in bed and soothe themselves to sleep is a very valuable lesson you are teaching and will do wonders well into the toddler years. Not to mention, their sleeping habits will ALWAYS change. She may go to bed now at 6 but in a few months she could very well be back to 7pm. Don’t listen to other people’s opinions – on this one. This is your child and you are the ones that get up with her in the night if she wakes-not them.

Hi R.,
You are doing the right thing for your daughter by putting her in her crib when she is tired. If you keep her up later, she'll actually wake up more during the night and/or sleep less hours. It could even interfere with her napping during the day. The fact that she has quite time in bed and then falls asleep on her own is great! It is such an important skill for babies to learn and it sounds like she is already there. My son is a year now but when he was about 4 months, he started getting fussy around 5:30-6 so we started putting him down for bed at that time. I'm home all day so I was happy to put him down so early, but my husband felt like he was missing out on time together. We read up a lot on the topic and spoke with the Pedi and all agreed that we had to do what was right for the baby- and that was letting him sleep when he is tired. I mean, we wouldn’t delay feeding when they are hungry, so we should not delay sleeping when they are tired. It's our job to give them what they need, when they need it. Eventually, that early bedtime moves out more and more and you’re LO will be able to stay up longer. Just remember that you are establishing healthy sleep habits now for your baby.
As far as what other's are saying... don't worry about them. Every baby is different, so every mother will have different experiences and opinions about what is the right thing to do. Just do what you know is best for your family and your baby.
The book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth is a great resource. I highly recommend it to learn about the importance of sleep with babies up to age 3.
Good Luck!
L.

I find that people ALWAYS have an opinion and have no problem telling you what to do. IGNORE IT! Every child is totally different and what works for one, may not work for everyone. My son is 6 months old and he is exhausted and cranky around 6 - I work full time and have a 2 year too and we typically get home between 5:30 and 6:00. I actually put him down for a nap around 6 and then he gets up around 7, has his bath, and eats his last bottle of the day. He goes to bed around 8 and then sleeps until the morning. Selfishly, it works out better for us because I can make dinner and get my 2 year old to bed and then have one on one time w/the baby to bathe, etc. I think they are in that in between phase when they just simply can't stay up between the afternoon nap and bedtime. And it's much better to have them rest when they need it. My baby gets frantic when he's over tired and has a hard time going down...if we put him down when we recognize he's tired, he plays for a few minutes and then goes right to sleep. Best of luck.

First rule of new parenting...dont listen to what other people tell you! You knkow what's best for your baby. Good luck!

Hi R.

Someone told me when my first child was born to do what works for your family. THAT was the best advice I ever got!!!! I always try to consider other peoples advice and if it dosen't work for us then it dosen't work. So I absolutely say ignore what others say. Each child is so different, that is why you as the parent know them best and what is best for all of you. My youngest goes to bed around 7:00 she lays in there for a while before she falls to sleep. She is happy talks to her self, even sings, plays with her crib toys and then finally goes to sleep. I think she just needs time to unwind like adults do. Eventually as she gets older your daughter will probably change to a later bed time. My thought is that if the three of you are happy and content then you are doing the right thing. I hope this helps a little. good luck!

R.-
I have a 4 month old and we do exactly the same! SHe is in bed sometimes by 6:30! If you read Healty sleep happy baby. What you are doing is exactly what the book says to do! She is learning to self sooth herself and fall alseep. Don't feel guilty about it if you did the other way you would have a crying unhappy baby! I know my friend has a 8 month old and her baby did the same bedtime and by 8 months has moved up to 7:30! GOOD LUCK!

HI R..
My daughter at the age of 6 months was going to bed between 7-7:30pm and waking up around 7am. Plus she was taking two naps during the day (a morning nap around 9:45-12ish and and afternoon nap around 4-5:30). Is she taking naps during the day? Your daughter may just require more sleep and/or if she starts to get cranky, maybe she does need some time to be by herself in her crib to unwind before bed. I just think... all babies are different and you have to figure out what works for your baby. If she needs that extra sleep time, I don't think you should feel guilty for giving it to her or let others make you feel like you are doing something wrong.
Relax, sounds like you are doing a great job.

I would highly reccommend the book healthy sleep habits happy child. It will really help with all your sleeping questions. It will help you get some shut eye too.

Honestly I wouldn't worry about them. If she seems content with the new bedtime keep it. My son is also 6 months old and goes to bed between 530 and 600 and sleeps all night. I have 3 kids and he is my youngest. My second child also a boy goes to bed at 7 every night and he is 2, my daughter is 5 and goes to bed at 800.

OH my gosh!!! You are doing everything right. Having her alone in her crib will teach her independance and self soothing!!! Don't listen to those other people! It sounds like you are fine. When she wakes up cranky, its ok. Leave a toy or two in her crib that she can play with and she will be fine. That is what we did with our 10 minth old. SOmetimes she is happy other times not. But don't worry you are doing GREAT ! ! !

E.

Early bedtime is KEY for a lot of babies! My LO is NOT a great napper, and if she misses a nap or has a short nap, she gets an early bedtime - often 6pm. She has been in bed as early as 5:30pm some nights! Yep, she'll often wake at 5:30am or 6am, but hey, it's 12 hours of sleep.

I'll take an early wake up over a cranky overtired baby that then wakes up half the night because she can't sustain sleep.
A later bedtime has never worked for us for a later wake up. She gets 11-12 hours of sleep as long as she is in bed before 7pm. After 7pm, she only sleep 10-10.5.

I think what you are doing is great! You'll looking out for your DD's best interest and giving her the rest she needs!

Sounds fine to me, that you are teaching her to self soothe and be able to put her mind to sleep herself, a very important life skill, not just a baby thing. I wouldn't stress about what others think. Do what is right for your baby, not because what others say or how they react. Some will always make judgement comments, and you will notice it more and more as time goes by, from bedtime, snacks, potty training, you name it. Who says one thing fits all? And just as soon as you are used to your baby's routine and schedule is when I found it would change lol.
Good luck,
D.

I'd stop listening to your friends and family, seems like your daughter is adjusting well to the new schedule. Don't ask me why it works this way, but almost any advice I've ever seen on getting your little ones to sleep a little later in the morning is to put them to bed a little earlier at night. Sounds to me like you've got it figured out and I'm sure in the time she's awake she's getting plenty of mommy time. Remember getting her enough sleep in 24 hour period is one of the most loving things you can do...she's happy and healthier and so is mom.

R.,

The same thing happened with my daughter when she dropped the 3rd nap of the day. Now that she only naps twice she is SO ready for bed by 6pm. Last night it was all I could do to hold her off til 5:45pm for her bath. She's tired by then. My daughter also still wakes during the night to nurse - some night once, some nights twice. And I have never been able to switch her time to later so -in theory she would sleep later - doesn't work from where I sit. My mom said it never worked for her either. The one nice thing for me is that some mornings, not all my daughter will come into bed with me when she wakes up and fall back to sleep and give me another hour or 2. However, she was up this morning at 6:45am, nursed and didn't want to sleep any more.
As for the other people that are telling you that you are doing something wrong - just tell them you are her mother and you know her best and what is best for her. I think you are doing the right thing for your daughter.

L. M

Hi R.,

It sounds like your doing a terrific job at being a first time mom. We all had those questions and feelings, "are we doing this right?"
I have 3 children twin girls 5, and a son 4. I had to get over people and what they thought. I spent lots of time wondering the same thing...they think I'm a terrible mom because....
Newborns sleep a lot. At 6 months old she is not a newborn anymore and her sleep patterns will start to change. As long as you have a consistant schedule for her, everything should be fine. It is normal for a 6 month old to go to bed at 6pm, she will be waking up plenty more times during the night. My children go to bed at 7pm and they are 5 and 4. Sometimes if you change a babies schedule to go to bed later and get up earlier it works but not always. I suggest doing what works for you and your little girl. And YES, ignore everyone elses opinions! Your doing great! Hope that helped!

First off...don't listen to naysayers...you are the mom and you know what is best for your child. Secondly...all three of my boys generally go down early. I am a SAHM and am with them all day long. By 6pm it is time to go upstairs, take a bath, brush teeth, read stories and go to bed. By 7pm they are all in bed and two are usually already asleep. It does not matter what time they go to bed...they are all early risers, unfortunately. So I might as well have most of my evening to myself and my husband.

Everyone does it their own way...this way works best for us.

Good luck, H. Z. (SAHM 5, almost 4 and 14 1/2 month boys)

R.,

Both my children go to bed early. My daughter is 22 mo and she goes to bed at 6:30 and my son goes to bed at 7;30 and he is 5.5. He went to bed at 6:30 when he was a baby. You need to have a routine and it seems like your daughter is setting hers. What ever works for your family it what you need to do. Just ignore the people that are giving you a hard time and do what you think is best for your child.

Good luck and stay strong .

Hi R.,
First of all, do ignore those that question your ability to use common sense together with your awareness of your child to make good decisions. Our first child always needed some time by herself to settle and her ability to self-soothe has stood her well for the last 17 years! She needed to go to bed early- i had to put off the bath until 6 to keep her up unitl 6:30, but sometimes she just crawled to the stairs and whined as she looked up there, where her bed was! Do what works for your family and never feel guilty!
My girls are now 14 and 17 and had (and continue to have) very different sleep needs that changed a bit throughout their different stages and ages. Stick with what works but be flexible.
A little about me: mom of 2 teen girls, wife and owner of a paint-your-own pottery business and art studio with classes for children and adults in Mansfield called K. johnston Artworks.

I don't think there is anything wrong with puting your daughter to bed early (6pm) if she seems adjusted to that. I remember my cousins going to bed at that time as they were very early wakers. I have a 5 year old son that has ASKED us if he could please go to bed as early as 6:45 on very many occations..and didn't awaken untill just before 7am. He really likes his sleep. He also enjoys listening to his lullaby CD's. I just figure I am fortunate enough to have a child that enjoys his night routine (SLEEP!) My oldest (now 16YRS) on the other hand HATED to go to bed and still is a night owl. I have to "fight" with him to go to bed even on schoool nights. I go to bed early myself , but when I awake..and he is still up..I get upset with him (11pm or so)..I just cant believe he can be OK to go thru a school day and then football practice or a game..but he does..and with great grades to boot. I just guess we are all programed differently.and what ever works, works. Keep doing what you have been if it makes everyone in YOUR immediate family happy! Dont listen to reletives, although some advise is great...not all is right!

Ignore them!! I had the same issue with my daughter. She went to bed at about 6:30. Nobody could believe it. I felt guilty until I realized it worked for us, why keep her up for crankiness? The whole day was better if we stuck on that schedule.

I love how family and friends always think they know better than the parents of the child. Putting a child to bed later will NOT make her sleep later. trust me, I've tried it. And as the mother to a 3 year old, who still needs someone to put him to bed at night (or at least lay in bed with him at this point) you are doing it right by getting her to lay there contently and eventually fall asleep. Do I think 6 pm is early, yes. but its not my place to tell you to keep her up until 7 or 8. and even if you did that, she's probably still be up at 5:30.

if 6 pm works for your baby, that's great, she is young at 6 mos old, she needs her sleep at this point, eventually she'll stay up later and you'll be able to spend extra time with her then, until then, tell your family and friends to mind their own business. :-)

good luck!

D.

Every child is different-so do what works for your daughter. If someone is well rested then they will not go to sleep right away. You are teaching her to calm down and sooth herself to sleep.

R.. ignore the peopple that bother you . your daughter is perfectley normal. some one always have to but there word in . you sound likea good mom. your daughter likes to sleep there is nothing wrong with it. mayby soon she will ouuuutgrow this. my daughter did the same think. also ask your doctor if she is heathy . so good luck to you .
B.

R.,
It sounds like you are really quite fortunate to have a content infant that has her own rhythm for sleep. It doesn't sound like she is in distress. If the situation is comfortable for mom, dad, and baby it sounds like a winning match to me. I am not sure why grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends feel the need to tell parents what they are doing wrong or judging the choices parents make.
My children are 10 & 12 and I have had to say to her(my mom)... " You have raised your children, your way and now I am a parent and I get to make the choices about raising my children. Please refrain from telling me what I am/am not supposed to do. My child/children are not in danger. I am an adult and I take good care of my family. Take this time to enjoy being a grandparent and let me be the parent.

Good Luck
MP

Your daughter is tired, you put her to bed, she finds a way to settle herself down and get comfortable, she's not unhappy, and people are criticizing you?? Forget it! "No one can make you feel guilty without your permission." I forget who said that - Eleanor Roosevelt maybe? You have found a way for your daughter to self-soothe, a really critical skill. YOur alternative is to constantly stimulate by playing with her because she's still technically awake, even through she is cranky - she's telling you she's DONE playing and being stimulated, and you are responding to her needs. You cuddle, wind down, and then let her do the rest of it on her own. Now compare your baby, who can settle herself down, to all those kids other moms write in about to Mamasource, who haven't learned to do this yet, and the parents have to go in 50 times a night, keep putting toddlers back in the bed, and everyone's exhausted! Which life would you choose? Don't you go to bed, relax for a while, try a few positions to get comfortable, and then fall asleep? Would you rather go up every night totally exhausted, because you waited until you were completely dog tired, and then fall asleep before you head hits the pillow?

You are doing fine, but you just don't know it yet. You obviously have great instincts, you are "reading" your daughter's signals perfectly, she's not crying or hysterical, she's content, and your only problem is your mother and some friends. When I had my baby, he didn't come with a user's manual, so I had to figure out this stuff by myself! And his schedule wasn't the same as everyone else's.

Get used to the criticism or just brush it off with confidence - you're an ICU nurse so you're highly skilled at recognizing critical needs in others. I think you would know if there was something awful going on! Instead, you've identified a need in your daughter, and you've addressed it!

When your daughter gets a little older, you'll get a lot of pressure to put her in endless activities - so there's always going to be that comment about why don't you do it this way or that way. We got a lot of pressure to sign our son up for soccer, karate, piano, and so on - an activity every day. Aside from the cost, we didn't want him become the kind of kid who needed others to provide constant stimulation. He had religious school and ONE activity - sometimes he picked soccer, sometimes basketball, and so on. He tried different things, and he had a lot of time to play with neighborhood kids in pick-up games, create stuff in the sandbox, ride his bike, build things with blocks and train tracks, do crafts, read, and other things. Today, he is a creative and interested kid, passionate about one thing (running) but highly adjusted with lots of friends and a ton of confidence. He's an independent thinker because we didn't put him in situations where everyone else told him what to do every second.

All I'm saying is, you're going to have 18 years of people telling you what to do - but you don't need to lose your way here. It's FINE to ask for ideas and find out what other people do, but then you filter those suggestions and choose what works for you. Your daughter is not going to go to bed at 5:30 when she's 2 or 7 or 15. This is right for this time in her life, so stick with it!

Good luck!

6pm is a perfect bedtime. My daughter went to bed at 6 for the first 2 years of her life. And PLEASE don't stop doing what you're doing. The fact that she's content and it only takes her a 1/2 hour or so to fall asleep means it's working well for her too. Take it from a mom with THREE kids, none of whom would fall asleep on their own. You are blessed and instead of feeling guilty take pride in the fact that you're doing something awesome for you both!! She needs to know how to fall asleep on her own and you're getting the early evening/quiet time that you need!! GOOD JOB!!

you are doing the right thing! there is no reason why anyone should be horrified by your children's bedtime routine?!!?!? this is how we started when we put both our children to bed and now when it's nap time or bed time we give hugs and kisses, read a book and get put right in bed. (they of course don't hit the pillow and go to sleep, they play and also fuss sometimes) this method teaches your children how to put themselves to sleep, which in my opinion is desired my many a mom who still have to rock etc. to get their little ones to sleep.

you know your child what's best for your child... it's just hard to explain it to others at times. good luck!!!

My daughter self-imposed her 7 pm bedtime when she was about 4 months old. A year later, she still goes to bed at 7. Sometimes she's tired earlier, but I don't get home until 5:30, so I keep her up a little for selfish reasons. Anyway, often, even if she's tired at 7, she will be awake in crib for 30 min to an hour, talking to herself, sometimes fussing. Like you described, she seems to prefer that to being up and playing. I have tried keeping her up later, but it has NEVER made her sleep longer in the morning. In fact, the later I put her to bed, the earlier she wakes up, leaving me with a very fussy girl!
My opinion is that you are doing the right thing, and you should ignore the comments from others. You know your baby best. She is tired, she is not upset, she's safe and it's a positive thing for her to be able to spend some time by herself.

Do not let anybody make you feel guilty. You are doing exactly what you need to do for your baby. My son used to go to bed at 6:00 also. We just could not keep him up any longer. He wanted to be in his bed. Everybody has an opinion, but you know what is best for your baby.

R.,
my daughter has an early bed time also and she is fine with it. I found that a few times she went to bed earlier was because she was tired and needed the sleep. Also she could be going through a growth spurt and needs the extra sleep. You know whats best for your daughter! Don't let people make you feel guilty for it. She is your daughter not theirs and you do what you think is best for her. Your healthy daughter is proof of that!
N.

i dont see a problem with what your doing. every baby is different. my son at that age used to go to bed at 630-7ish. its what he needed. if shes fine in her crib then why worry. my son still winds down before he goes to bed and hes 2. i put him up in is room at 7:30 and he just sits up there talking to himself for a good half hour its good to give them that time alone too!! dont worry what other people are saying. it used to drive me crazy. if you want to strech her bedtime out just try putting her down 15min later everynight. her body will adjust. but if she likes her bedtime at 6 then thats fime too. sounds like your doing whats right for her. dont listen to other people only you know best!

Okay I did not read the whole thing only because I have the answer. It is FINE to let her lay in her bed awake as long as she is not "freaking" out or really crying. My son is now 21 months old & used to fall asleep within 10 mins. Now it can take any where from 10 mins to 30 or even 60 mins. I asked his pediatrician & he said it is fine as long as he is quiet & not throwing a fit. He will babble to himself quietly, listen to his music, talk to his favorite stuffed elephant or play with his glow worm. He is perfectly happy & eventually falls asleep & wakes up happy as can be.
I used to feel guilty too with him just laying there awake but there is nothing wrong with it. Plus by doing this you are doing the right thing by getting her to fall asleep on her own which is so important! So good job mom & keep up the good work. Stop feeling guilty. She seems to be enjoying herself to me!

Hi, please don't feel guilty about letting your little one 'wind down' before bed by herself. The fact that she is doing it is great. Think of all that she learns in a day, its her way of processing it all & it is very good for her. As far as early bedtime, both of my kids went through the same thing. I actually put them to bed at 5pm for a stage. You are the Mommy and you know your child best. Be true to yourself and trust your instincts! Tell the other people to back off...Mommy knows best!

Hi R.,

If she's happy lying in the crib, but fussy and overstimulated when up then Duh!

As far as babies as concerned, as soon as you get one routine established they change. They are growing and developing so rapidly that what worked one day won't the next.

This is your baby, nobody else knows her as well as you. Listen to advice, sure, but then follow your own gut as to which advice you should follow.

Don't worry, your daughter will let you know when she is not happy. Keep up the good work. God Bless.

J. L.

You are absolutely doing the right thing! I agree with all the other moms who have posted so far. You are doing your daughter a great service by teaching her to fall asleep by herself. It's a great confidence builder for her, plus she gets the rest she needs. It sounds like she has already discovered that her crib is a happy place, even when she is still settling herself down to sleep. Good for you! Keep up the good work and try not to get discouraged.