Looking for suggestions on how to get my 3 YO to stop playing games at bedtime. We follow the same routine nightly brush teeth, read a book or two, pray, and get a cup of water. He is becoming more difficult to keep in bed, he keeps finding excuses to get up. We have a child lock on the inside of his door so he cannot leave freely and he knocks. I have tried telling him I'm not coming in but he will cry or sit and play for endless amounts of time (up to 2 hours before I cave). He takes a 1 1/2 - 2 hour nap during the day and typically sleeps about 10 hours at night. We have tried letting him stay up a little later (we normally put to bed at 7:00) to see if he was going down too early with no results, he still plays games and goes to bed even later and he just wakes up earlier. Of course our 6 year old follows the same routine and never plays games (goes to bed at the same time and is sawing logs by 7:02 pm and not up until 6:00 am).
Any suggestions?
Thanks for the great suggestions - I have already tried the Supper Nanny trick tonight, we'll see how it works, he was a little startled when I came in covered him up and just left!
Just to clarify we do not leave him locked in his room unattended and we have a monitor in there. My fire fear is the opposite - what if there is a fire and he leaves his room and I can't find him in our 4 level split house - this way I know where he is...and we have a fire alarm in every room of our house wired through the whole house. Just wanted to clarify - I'm not a negligent mom!
Be firm and don't go back in. Easier said then done, but it will usually do the trick. And I lock my son in. As for the fire comments-really, when they were in cribs, could they get out on there own? I look at it as he is now in a much bigger crib, and I would much rather have him locked in than walking down the block. The lock was pediatrician recommended and now he won't sleep without it.
You need to try the Supernanny trick. When he gets up he is looking for attention. You simply pick him up or turn him around and take him back to his bed. Cover him up and walk out. Don't say anything at all to him. Not even "it's bedtime". Nothing. Repeat this as many times as needed. He won't get what he's looking for so it will stop. We did this with our son when he was 2. Took a couple of weeks if I recall and that was the end of it.
Just a question-you don't leave him locked in his room all night do you?
I used to struggle with my 2 year old daughter for 2 - 2.5 hours EVERY night. Then I cut out her nap. Now it takes at most 30 minutes. She is a little whiny from 4 - 5pm, but we try to go outside at that time to counteract that.
Our rule is no toys in bed, but books are fine. So he takes a few books to bed with him and is allowed to read them. We've given him a flashlight (which has since run out of batteries, twice) to read by. This allows him to decompress alone in bed, but not stay wired by playing with toys.
I agree with the supernanny technique, and that is what we used with ours any time he ever got out of bed (totally against the rules). Just stick to it! As soon as you cave, you're done for a LONG time!!! ;)
A co-worker of mine used to put their kids down between 6:60-7. Sleep i believe is vital, but for working parents, seeing your child for an hour in the morning then 2 hours afterwork does not seem realistic. (not sure of your schedule, I'm an 8-5er) My daughter is 4, rarely takes naps and is in bed by 8:30. Maybe taking out the nap would help, or at least limit them. It can all depend on the day. More active, earlier bed time. I felt with my daughter, age 3-4 was a time in her life she really started exploring the world around her. He will get past this in time and will have a better understanding in night time rules. Good Luck! It will get easier!
Well i am going to try to give you an answer. however, this does not always work for me. Sometimes we try moving bedtime up to an earlier time so that they can go through their procrastinating and all of that at a reasonable time. When we give up on that plan, we try cards. I write out three cards with "Mommy" written on them and I tell the oldest that he can only call me 3 times after he goes to bed and once the cards run out, then he may not call me anymore. It worked for a while. Our true saving grace however is that the knob on his bedroom door jams sometimes and he is terrified of having the door closed. LOL, so an everso slight threat or mentioning of closing the door usually does the trick. But none of these things works everytime. The other thing is, I think its okay for them to have some alone downtime with books or a book on tape before going to bed.
My three (nearly four) year old occasionally pulls out all the stops trying to keep me from leaving her room, so on those occasions I tell her fantastic lies, which she never seems to remember in the morning. Sometimes I tell her that I have to let the dog out (or walk him) and that I'll come right back (which I never do.) Sometimes I say I have to do all the dinner dishes first. If she insists they are done I tell her I have to rewash them all because they are still dirty. Lately, after she gets tucked in, she'll say "I'm hungry!" to which my response is usually "You should have eaten at dinner" because I will not fall into the bedtime snack trap. Tonight, I told her I was going to go downstairs and cook her a turkey dinner. She fell for it. She did come out once after 5 minutes to ask if it was ready, but I told her it would take a few hours yet and that I will wake her up when it's ready. That was an hour ago. I don't think she'll be asking for turkey at breakfast, but I will let you know if she does.
I think putting him back into bed is the best thing. And just stick to it no matter how long it takes, cause this fase he is going through will pass if you are consistant. He is getting used to playing and you letting him. As soon as he gets out of bed, it should be right back in. He will ge tthe hint and hopefully sooner than later. Good luck!!
My daughter is 3.5yrs old. She goes to bed at 8:30 and doesnt always take a nap anymore. If your son is taking a 2 hour nap, going to bed at 7:00 is way too early. He doesnt need that much sleep anymore. Try letting him go to bed a little later especially if he is still taking a nap. Also, locking him in his room, is not a good idea. The neighbors had a lock on their kids room and they all were in the bedroom at the same time and they all got locked in, they had to yell out the window to passers by to get help. Not a good idea.
I never had a problem with my kids going to bed, so I am amazed at how many people do have issues with it.
My kids weren't perfect by any means, but when it was bed time, it was bed time. I started it when they were babies and they just didn't mess around about it. Sure, there were nights they were really sick or something like that, but the "I need a drink" or "I'm not tired" never cut it with me. I never had locks on their doors and I never stayed up all night putting them back to bed. But, I sleep trained them early on. They could sleep in their own bed, they could sleep in a hotel crib, they could sleep on Grandma's spare bed...they could sleep anywhere because when it was time to go to bed, it was just time to do it.
You kind of answered your own question when you said it can be up to 2 hours before you cave.
DON'T CAVE.
Everytime you cave in, thinking it will be easier for that night, it just sets you back at square #1. Which, just shows your child that if he wears you down enough, you WILL cave in.
He needs to know you WON'T.
You're the parent and he needs to know that bedtime means being in bed and not getting up and goofing off. No discussions, no debating, no negotiations...in bed means IN BED. Period.
And you have to stick with it. Every single time.
You might be surprised at how well he goes to bed once you implement a couple of rules and stick by them. No locks necessary. No closed doors necessary.
Just get firm and be consistant. He's not used to it, so he will rebel, but you can still get it worked out.
Best wishes.
Our 3 year old was a nightmare at bedtime as well. We had tried everything that we could think of and nothing seemed to work. I actually came across a book called The Sleep Fairy by Janie Peterson and we were at our wits end so we figured we might as well try it. We really didn't believe that a book would be the answer to our problems but some way it was. I couldn't believe it by the end of the week our son was staying in bed and going to sleep. It truly was a miracle for us!
I have found that when my boy was 3.5 he slept better at night with no daytime nap. It was a difficult transition but now he gets the 10-12 hours at night. I now have most mornings from 5-7 or 8 to myself and an uninterrupted day..no more heading home to nap. Of course any car ride still puts him to sleep but we look at those cat naps as a bonus for us. Good Luck!
By the way...he falls asleep usually within 10-15 mins after bath,books and backscratching...summer is here! Let them get tired!
