Bedtime Chaos

Updated on September 12, 2007
E.W. asks from Cedar Lake, IN
7 answers

Hi there Mamas!
OK, I admit, I am not the most organized person... Bedtime in my house is getting REALLY chaotic. My 22 month old goes to bed about 8, but that is also when I am trying to put the baby down (the baby, by the way, won't sleep in his crib, so any suggestions there are appreciated, too). Does anyone have bedtime routine suggestions that may help us? My husband, when he is in town, gets home around 5:45 and wants to see the kids for a while also. Thanks for any input!!
E.

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

It is always good to have a nice routine for bedtime. I n my house, we always starts with a bath (every night) then change into pj's give a bottle, then bed.For the older child, no bottle, just a relaxing story then off to sleep. All this within 30 min. Have you tried putting your 22 month old to bed a little earlier, 7:00-7:30? Maybe she is a little over tired? Good luck!
As for not liking his crib, try a bassinet till he gets a little bit older, start putting him in the crib for naps, when he gets that down switch to the crib. At least if he cries during nap time he won't be waking up you daughter. Try not to let him sleep with you, or you may never get him in his own bed/crib!!

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S.G.

answers from Chicago on

You mentioned your "husband, when he is in town." How often is he gone? It might be easiest if - when possible - you split the duties when he's in town and he gets the older girl. This would allow him to get personal time with her, allowing time for reading, bath, whatever. This was our routine when our girls were younger; I put the older one to bed. Now that they're older, I put them both to bed!

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

I think the routine thing is important and can help. Depending on whether your 22 mon. old naps or not, or when she naps may also be the issue. I know that my daughter does not have a majorly elaborate night routine. Just a song and then we lay together in my bed till she falls asleep. She does fight it a bit but not usually only ocassionally. I do not agree with some of what Cindy told you. In fact I beg to differ and debate that what she told you is not the best for your child. Sometimes they sleep way more effectively in your bed and that is certainly no always the answer---to just "kick" them out of your bed. It has worked fabulous for us and my husband will not hear of pushing her off to the crib or her toddler bed. I have learned that it is also wonderful for me because my breastfeeding has gone on so long (27 months) and I have had such an incredible bonding experience with my toddler. So, long story short, let your baby sleep with you if the two of you sleep better and have to wake less frequently.
With regard to the bath etc. you do not need to do a bath every single night - in fact some children's skin gets way too dried out if bathed that often. I would do a couple or a few times a week. I think the mom who said to do that may have only one child (maybe I'm wrong) but it is highly inpractical to go through that intense of a routine with more than one kid on your hands -- especially if you have no help with them in the evenings. Make it brief like a book or song and that;s it. Lay with them or stay with them for a bit and they'll get the hang of it.

M.L.

answers from Chicago on

Good luck to you - I hope you find what works as all babies, children, families are different. I have a 10 month old who was a great sleeper at 3 months (was like he knew I was going back to work and he'd sleep around 8-9 hours). Around 4 months he started waking in the middle of the night and sometimes a few nights a week he would scream after our bedtime routine. It always depends w/him - some nights he'll sleep 10 hours, others he has a rough night!!!!!

I think we made the "mistake" of bringing him into bed with us when he wakes up around 5am - I used to think that we had to break him of this, but am starting to get a little more laid back and figure he's typically ok going to bed at night (around 7:30) and sleeps until about 5am. When he does wake up that early he will cuddle him in our bed and many times he goes back to sleep for an hour or two.

Bedtime routine - this is what I do (take it or leave it as I've said - my son is not the best sleeper!!!!!!!!!):
7:00 I put all noise making toys away, dim the lights and play music (this is while we're still in the livingroom).
Shortly thereafter I take him upstairs for a bath - every night I give him a bath - always have (he especially needs it now b/c he gets food all over him) - I just make sure to use a lot of lotion.
I then give him a small bottle and read to him as he gets sleepy. Then he goes to bed.
This routine sounds like forever, but he's typically in his crib by 7:45

Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 4 year old little boy and a 4 month old little girl. My husband gets home around the time your husband does. Our sons bedtime is at 8 and we put the baby down anywhere between 7 and 8. What we do is we alternate nights...I get the baby all night and put her to bed while my husband plays with our son and puts him to bed. Then the next night we switch. That gets everyone in bed at the same time. There are times when (if the baby is still awake) we all sit together and read our bedtime story. This works really well for us and keeps everyone on their bedtime schedule. One night a week I'm on my own putting them to bed. I start the baby's bedtime routine at 7 and hope that she's asleep by 8, then I start my sons bedtime routine. They usually get a shared bedtime story that night. Occassionally my son is up about a half hour past his bedtime, but he handles it really well. He's old enough to put himself to bed, I just don't like to let him do that just yet. I'm having a hard time with him growing up.

I don't know what advice to give about your baby sleeping in the crib, both of my kids slept in their crib really well. Hopefully he'll grow out of that, he's just a newborn now.

Good luck!
A.

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K.

answers from Chicago on

As for your 22 month old you should have a routine that will get your child to calm down and getting ready for bed. Bath every other night unless absolutely needed(its not good for childrens skin to take a bath every day),read a book,if a nightlight goes on then put that on,says prayers if you do,and let her know its bedtime. Start doing this at 7 and when your husband is home let him do it so he can also have time with her.
As for the baby even though he doesn't like the crib have him get use to it now. You don't want your child sleeping with you because its a very bad habit. While the baby is almost asleep lay him down. Yes he rather be in your arms but he should learn to sleep on his own in a crib. If he cries for a bit its alright try to sooth him by talking to him,rub his back,and even a pacifier. He will get use to it as long as you let him know its okay.

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C.B.

answers from Chicago on

Since your baby is only a month old you may want to try a swaddling blanket and a smaller bed like a bassinet or cradle. Newborns usually like being bundled up and in a small area like the womb.

I would try putting them down at different times. I would put the baby in a bouncer or swing while you give the 22 mth old a bath and then read a story. Do the same routine every night at the same time.

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