Bed Rest with a 16 Mo Old

I was in the hospital for the last 8 weeks of my pregnancy with twins and had a two-year-old at home. It was the hardest 8 weeks of my life and I was an emotional wreck. I don't know that I have great ideas, but I can tell you what I did. I love reading, but actually I even got tired of reading after the second week. I watched a lot of movies and became best friends with Oprah and Dr. Phil. One person came in with a bunch of stamping stuff one day, that was kind of fun, but she'd need someone to help her. I also did some needlepoint and knitting. I think that the important things for her to remember are; there will be an end, the longer she can go before delivering, the healthier the twins will be (having babies in the NICU with another child at home is no fun either), it really does get easier. I think the first year everything was so overwhelming and there were lots of times I did not think I was going to make it. I can say now (my twins are 4) having twins is a blast!

If she'd like someone to e-mail with, please feel free to give her my e-mail.

If at all possible have her go get on DSHS insurance i believe one of the things they offer is for someone to come in and help in this situation. I know if he is the only one working they should qualify for assistance. The other option is to hire a nanny. for a few hours a day so that she can get off her feet. I have two kids and im due June 16th and they almost had to put me on bed rest and i laugh at my ob..apparently they have no idea what it is like to be an average income family with no way to pay for in home care. anyways i would tell your friend to look into the DSHS thing it is nothing to be ashamed of. I had to get on it becasue we couldnt afford ins through my hubs work.

Reading stories to the 16 month old may help (if she likes stories. She might consider taking up a stay-at-home job. I recently started my own business with Reliv, a nutritional company, during my last pregnancy. I originaly looked at Reliv because of the superior nutrition they offered and I wanted that for my baby while I was pregnant, but the buisness has been an uplifting experience and it is a real opportunity. Since Reliv, I've had the best pregnancy and recovery (3x quicker than my first), I am happy, and have more energy, I have made several new friends, the support from the company and others is incredible, and I can do all of my work over the phone. Visit www.reliv.com, or call me at ###-###-#### or 888.306.2791 pass code: 4226

I just want to let those who are expecting baby's and are deployed to a war zone there is a free birth doula program. A doula is someone who supports a woman and family in birth, postpartum, and sometimes on bed rest.

I also am near Ft. Lewis, and I am a doula. And a mom of 5 kids, with the youngest being 11 years old. I have been on bed rest a few times.

Some of the things that helped me where to put an ice chest next to the bed or couch, or chair... Before your parents leave, have them make snacks, sandwich's, and other easy to grab and eat stuff to put in the ice chest. You also want to put in juice, water, and milk.
Keep in reach cups, and other items like diapers and wipes, games, books, craft things (like cross stitch).
The idea is to build a cocoon around yourself of things you need.
As for the little one, you have things for her to do. I hate to say it, but TV might help alot.

I hope this helps, and if you need anything else please let me know.

I don't know much about the military, but is there a way that they will pay for daycare? I am not a big propenent of daycare, but if it is only for several months it may be the way to go. That way the grandparents can take her in the am and pick her up in the pm and mom can get the proper rest she needs.

Hi E.,

Have her check out the website www.sidelines.org. It's specifically set up for women on pregnancy bedrest. She might get some tips/ideas from there.

There's also a book I've seen recommended on some different websites called Pregnancy Bedrest. Maybe you could buy it and send it to her. Here's a link:

http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Bedrest-Journey-Wanda-Hal...

It must be tough being so far away. All you can do is listen to her and support her that way. Hopefully her pregnancy stays healthy and she can keep those babies in as long as possible! Good luck to her!

~J.

She should check out Operation Special Delivery...whereby she can get doula services for free since her husband is serving. We have a lot of postpartum doulas in training that might be willing to donate time to come and help her out now. Also, if you contact the local high school and ask for volunteer babysitters for the toddler I bet you would get a great response.

Tell your friend to get in touch with Tacoma Parents of Multiples. They have a website with contact information: www.tacomamultiples.org. They should be able to help her out.

My favorite for 16 month olds is a bunch of colored card stock and tiny safety scissors. My daughter would sit for 2 hours through church quietly cutting up everything into tiny tiny bits. Great for their fine motor skills and a good quiet way to keep them busy. Then you just vacuum. No washing anything!

Perhaps she could find some junior high girls (ages around 11-12) who would like to come over after school to play with her daughter. At that age, they love babies and don't expect to paid very much. My daughter lives in an apartment complex and she had 2 neighbor girls come over often to play with her daughter. No pay required. They loved it.

She might be able to find thise girls in the neighborhood. Perhaps her parents know some of their neighbors who would know of children. She could ask at churches or even perhaps the school.

This would not be as satisfactory as full time help but could help a little.

If the parents are church or other group members they may be able to ask for some volunteer support for their daughter.

She is probably eligible for home nurse visits thru DHS. The visiting nurse may have other ideas.

I hope that she can find some help. Staying consistently in bed would be impossible with a toddler. Years and years ago my mother was confined to bed after the birth of my youngest brother. A neighbor watched my toddler brother until I got home from school. I doubt that my parents were able to pay her much. Eventually church friends took care of me while my brothers went to live with an aunt and uncle. Even tho being separated isn't the ideal, sometimes it's all that's possible.

Perhaps the parents could help pay for daycare.

Some suggestions for physical space would be to place mom's bed directly on floor so the little one could climb up on it, to have a small refrigerator and box of prepared food next to bed, allow more use of TV and videos than one might ordinarily want to use. Also rotate toys so that little one has variety. And definately prevent baby's access to any other part of basement.

If I were her, even tho I didn't feel well, I'd cultivate some new friends; perhaps thru her parents, the Internet, or neighborhood sites that provide supplies for crafts.

Use a cell phone, on which you don't pay long distance charges, to talk with old friends in other parts of the country.

I wonder if there might be an organization that provides support for housebound people. I know that she can order books from the library on the Internet and have them delivered by mail.

I know all of this is difficult. My heart goes out to her. If I lived near her I'd visit and help as much as I could. Wouldn't be much but every bit does help. I think there will be other people in her city who would do that if they knew that she needed it. I just don't know how to get the word out except thru church and other organizations.

I would put myself on the floor to rest on a mattress in a child safe bedroom with lots of toys for the toddler to play with and let her just play and crawl all over me. She will love having mom down at her level and will play very happily I am sure. Mom will just have to get up to feed and change her. Good luck.

E.- I was pregnant with my little one while my husband was deployed to Iraq and althouh I don't have much help for ideas to help keep your friend down, I think a web site that helped me a ton might help her get through this difficult time. It is called Operation Baby Blanket and it is a yahoo group. I was adopted by other ladies and was given so much support and assistance during my pregnancy! It was really a blessing! I'm sure there are plenty of other moms on the site who would have great advice and would love to offer advice and support for your friend. I'll bet there are even some ladies at Ft. Lewis who would be more than happy to help! Good luck!!!

I would suggest she contact her local twins club as well.

If she is "near Ft. Lewis" and her hubby is in Ft. Lee, then she's a milspouse (military spouse). Have her contact her ombudsman which is another milspouse and see what she might suggest. Usually we milspouses love this kind of request and rally around someone in need. It's just a matter of reaching out. She'll have a chance to pay it forward in the future, I can guarantee that.

I'm two hours south of her so let me know if an emergency comes up.five-oh-three, nine nine two, oh-two six seven.

When I had surgery, my aunt (who lives in another state) sent a care package. She sent new toys, movies and activities that would keep my 5 and 2 year old busy. Having new things kept my kids entertained and focused so that I could rest. It's tougher with a 16 month old but new activities might keep her entertained. I would check with your friend before you send her a care package. Find out what things her daughter enjoys. Also it sounds like they have limited space. My girls loved the books that have buttons to push, they make sounds or play music. They weren't too annoying and didn't take up too much space. It's great that you want to be a support for your friend. Good luck.

I know this isn't going to sound very helpful but...

Even though I'm sure your friend is thankful for her parents' support during this time, it would probably help if she moved in with another stay at home mother.

When I was pregnant with my third kiddo I was put on bedrest. With a 5 y/o and a 2 y/o this just wasn't possible when I was by myself all day. I ended up moving in with a friend and we co-parented (as much as was possible while I was in bed). The kids all got to play together and I was able to stay in bed or in a recliner most of the time.

My husband and I are in the Ft. Lewis area (hubby's due to be shipped to the war zone pretty soon). I'm a SAHM myself and I would be more than happy to help out in a couple of weeks. Even just having someone over for a few hours a day can help.

~A.

When I had to go in for surgery and was on bedrest afterwards I got what is called medical daycare through DSHS. Also I was put on bedrest with my second pregnancy when my son was 18 months old, as much as I hate to admit it I used the tv to entertain him so that I could stay on the couch. Also found it helpful to get an ice chest and fill it with snacks and drinks in the morning to last through the day so that I didnt have to get up as much to see to my son's needs. I know it is tough to stay in bed when you are already a mommy. The hardest part for me was not going crazy out of sheer boredom.