Baby WILL NOT Nap! Help!!

Updated on December 08, 2009
J.R. asks from Overland Park, KS
22 answers

My daughter is now just shy of 3 months old and WILL NOT nap during the day. The only way she will even remotely sleep is if she is being held or "worn" (sling/baby-pak). She is my fourth child and I have NEVER had this problem or seen the likes of a baby that won't nap. It's driving me CRAZY!!! I have 3 other children (all under 5 yrs. old) and cannot be strapped down - literally - with her 24/7. She will sleep for a bit at night (around 10:30 to 5am or so, nurses and then wakes for the day about 8:30am) - and then she's up! She may take a brief 30 minute nap here and there but normally needs to be held just to do that...If she were totally happy and content throughout the day I wouldn't worry, alas she is crabby and obviously needs to sleep. She falls asleep easily but can never seem to get comfortable and inevitably wriggles or spasms herself awake. We've tried her on her back, stomach and each side to no avail - and she HATES the car so that's not an option. She's had gas since she was born it seems and I keep wondering if that's the problem. She was on Zantac for a bit but while she spits up less, she still seems gassy/fussy, so I don't think it helped AT ALL. The other downside to her waking herself is that she thinks it's time to eat. I feel like she nurses CONSTANTLY - really. She's a big girl - not so much chubby as VERY tall - but likes to nurse - a lot. She's too young to cry it out and that will just exacerbate the gas issue, so please don't offer that as a suggestion. :) Any ideas on how to get her to nap would be sooooooooo appreciated. Ya'll are the best!! Thanks in advance.

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J.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Have you tried swaddling the little one? I have a little guy that would do the same thing...startle himself awake. I bought a couple of those Swaddle Me blankets, and it saved my sanity.

Hope that helps. :)

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A.A.

answers from St. Louis on

Have you tried a swing? Mine loved the swing. Or, a sound machine-like ocean sounds. My kids loved the ocean sound machine and it helped drown out noises from the household activities. I also agree with the swaddling.
good luck.

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T.K.

answers from Wichita on

I don't know that I can really offer you a lot of advice other than some babies just don't nap! My first son was that way...never did nap. I was lucky if he slept 45 minutes during the day. My mom and aunt renamed him "King of Catnaps". He would snooze on a 10 minute drive to the store, but never took a true nap. Have you tried a really set schedule and a naptime routine, just as I am sure you have a bedtime routine for her? Maybe a shorter diaper change, baby massage, rock and sing kinda thing?

I will say that my son just turned 2 in October and for the last 6 months or so has turned into a fantastic napper. I usually get a 2-3 hour nap out of him now every day. It is a very welcomed change! :) Good luck to you...I hope you find a solution, but it may just be that that is how she is wired.

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L.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My oldest was like this. I also nursed and found after 4 months that she had a wheat/gluten issue. Once I removed that from my diet she became a easier baby and I was able to get her to nap on her own more but mostly in a swing even then. I got a list of info from the LLL that helped me find out what was going on with her.

Hope this helps.

L.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.N.

answers from Kansas City on

Swaddle! Will she sleep in a semi-upright position such as in a bouncy seat or swing? And talk to your pediatrician or a lactation consultant about gas-free diets. If she has gas you might need to alter your diet to help her out. What's mysterious, though, is that she seems to be sleeping through the night. You call it "a bit" -- but 10:30 to 5am sounds like a pretty darn good stretch to me. And being up for the day at 8:30 is perfectly reasonable.

So is there perhaps too much activity in your house during the day? My pediatrician told me that babies with older siblings in the house often don't nap well. Too much excitement, noise, etc.. It took several months for naps to even out around here. I don't know, just try to make the house mellow and of course make sure the baby has a quiet, dark, room to sleep in. Try a white noise machine to block out household sounds. And my advice to everyone who has sleep problems....pick up "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth!

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J.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I feel like I was just there! But it was 5 months ago. You are right, she needs to sleep and you can't be there for her 100% when you have 3 others.

I suppose you've tried swaddling? By that age my kiddo would not have liked swaddling, although she loved to be held to sleep.

We had a snugglenest with the side positioners which made her feel snug. that helped some. When I would put her down and she'd fuss, sometimes I'd just pat her bottom (she always rolled on to her side from day 3) and she'd be OK. she might be cold and when you remove her from the side of your warm body, she misses you. Have you tried a hot water bottle wrapped in a receiving blanket to nestle her next to, to keep warm?

(Oh, and my pediatrician told me that 3 mos is too young to let them cry it out, but at 4 months it's fine and they don't remember it or have any mental effects from it. Still, i waited until the 6 month appt, where the ped. chastized me for feeding her 2x in the middle of the night, listing umpteen different reasons why she needed to be sleeping through the night. So, we did CIO at 6 mos. and it went great. By the 3rd night, only 1 bout of crying that lasted 5 minutes.)

Hang in there! It's a phase.

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L.W.

answers from Kansas City on

Have you tried swaddling? I don't let my babies cry it out either, but maybe just try 5 minutes or so? Also, when I had my fifth, we really struggled to help him be content and he nursed constantly like you described. It turned out he had sensitivities to milk...when I cut out all dairy from MY diet, it was like a miracle cure and he slept and was content. Good luck!

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A.D.

answers from Kansas City on

Don't know if this will help but as far as gas could try eliminating things from ur diet. I just read below and I too took out wheat n gluten. I think that made a Huge difference. If I want to I dulge I I eatvit at night and give her the next bottlebor two hoping it's out of
y system? Do any of ur other kids have sensitivities? Also u could try a baby probotic by natrens. That along with diet change really helped my little one with her gas issues. She's 10 wks n sleeping 6-8 hrs a night. Where before she would moan n groan all night in pain. She's such a happier baby which makes for happier mom:) Other thoughts walking her in stroller, music, baby massage, rocking, and sling( but u said u tried that). Hope it gets better.

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K.K.

answers from St. Louis on

my son was the same way with only napping while being held. I did not have other children, so i would just sit with him and let him sleep on me, it was the only thing i could do. have you tried letting her sleep in her car seat, not in the car? or maybe a bouncy seat or a swing? those are the only things i can think of to sleep. as for her being fussy and having gas, have you talked to your doctor about acid reflex. My son had that as well, (and that is why- we found out later- he had to be held to sleep because of the acid) he was on prevacid and mylanta starting at i think around 2 months or so. He is no longer on it, he is now 2, and has not been since he was around 1 or a little older. He was on zantac at first also, but it was not cutting it, the prevacid worked wonders. He was able to sleep on his own, but he would fall asleep being held and i carefully put him down so he wouldn't wake up. i hope this helps, hang in there everything will be ok!! good luck, keep us posted!

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R.C.

answers from Wichita on

She sounds pretty normal to me. She needs a lot of nourishment to keep up that growth! And may be in a growth spurt as well, and feeding even more frequently right now.

I'd agree lactation consultation might help if there is a food intolerance. I found taking nuts out of my diet for a few months helped, though my daughter was still very spitty.

As for napping, I think I would agree with the poster who said she's sleeping through the night and then some more after feeding, that's something a LOT of moms would give a finger or toe for, if not a whole leg. So there are ups and downs with every kid. Sounds like you really have your hands full though! Are you getting enough help?

And I totally agree with you, not to CIO! Even the American Academy of Pediatricians recommends feeding on demand at least until 6 months. Lots of highly respected experts now recommend finding other solutions to sleep problems than CIO, even into toddlerhood. Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? Elizabeth Pantley.

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K.G.

answers from St. Louis on

My youngest son was the same way. I would wear him in a Baby Bjorn. (He had the added lovely characteristic of wanting to be held upright while I was standing--no sitting allowed--and I had to be outside. What the heck?!) When he fell asleep, I would swaddle him, put him in our bedroom with a white noise machine, and play with the oldest boy in the other room as quietly as possible. Otherwise, he wouldn't sleep. I also sometimes gave him my finger to suck on... no binky for him! (He was so picky!)

I hope you find something that works. It took me a lot of trial and error, but something clicked eventually. God bless!

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L.C.

answers from St. Louis on

I would explore the gassy/fussiness further. It was not until my son was 3 years old before we discovered severe allergies to milk and soy. It never occured to me that it could be food and no doctor suggested it. He did the same thing - always fussed (MIL called it colicky but didn't fit the pattern of colic descibed online), couldn't be set down, had the need to be swaddled (even after 2nd birthday), lived in someone's arms or the baby swing, and rarely slept.

Its good that you're breastfeeding but if she does have food allergies, she could still be reacting to them in your milk.

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J.T.

answers from St. Louis on

Below are some things I can think of that you have probably already tried:

*Could she still have acid reflux & that is why she is uncomfortable whenever she lays down? Maybe that is why she can sleep only when you wear her?

*Have you tried Mylicon for the gas?

*Could she have an ear infection? It hurts when lying down & wakes up babies after asleep.

*Have you tried swaddling her?

*Do you think she could be overtired when you offer a nap? Look for early signs of being tired & try to rock her to sleep then.

Well whatever the cause, I hope you find a solution so you can get some sleep or at least some time to yourself!

J.

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E.W.

answers from St. Louis on

You have probably already tried this, but I am a big believer in the swaddle. It helps keep them from startling or otherwise moving that wakes them up. You could also try a swing. That seems to help some babies and keeps them upright if reflux is the issue.

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A.K.

answers from Wichita on

My youngest 2 were both reflux babies and didn't outgrow the reflux until they were nearly a year old. The way you describe your daughter sounds a lot like them when they were that small.

Try raising the head of her crib. My husband built a wedge to put under the mattress for our youngest ds that was a bit higher than recommended and it made a world of difference in how he slept. We would swaddle him tightly and put him in the crib and he would sleep very well. If we tried laying him flat he would not sleep at all. With my older ds he would only sleep - day and night - if he was strapped to me in his carrier.

Google "Tucker Sling" to see the type of wedge I'm talking about. My husband decided to make the wedge himself out of plywood and place it under the mattress after seeing the pictures on that site. I didn't buy the actual sling either but improvised instead by placing rolled up blankets under the sheet at ds's feet to keep him from sliding down. It worked very well until he learned to roll over on his own but by that time the reflux started getting better.

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S.H.

answers from Hartford on

If she startles herself awake, you might want to consider swaddling her. My son was able to break out of the receiving blanket swaddle at a young age, but the Miracle Blanket is a good tool for swaddling them at this age. When my fella is fussy from being tired - I wrap him in the Miracle Blanket, give him a pacifier and roll up a receiving blanket to keep him from unintentionally spitting out his pacifier. If he is still fussy, I just rock him with the pacifier in his mouth - holding him against my chest so once again, he doesn't spit it out.

If she is particularly gassy, you might want to consider altering your diet (which is what I did) - and finding creative ways to get good burps out of her.

You are probably already doing all of these things - just thought I would throw these ideas out there. Good luck.

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S.F.

answers from St. Louis on

One small thing that may help is to use a shirt or blanket that either you, or preferably Dad has worn or slept with (so it has a comforting and familiar scent on it) to cover the bottom of the bassinet that she is sleeping in. BE CAREFUL that it fits over the mattress snugly because (of course) you don't want it to get bunched up and pose any kind of hazard to her.

We had a LOT of trouble getting our first to nap (she too, wanted to be held all the time) and this made all the difference.

GL to you!

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A.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Consider food allergies.
My son would not nap and was quite fussy for months. He was also gassy, but didn't have much spit up - until he couldn't tolerate certain foods at all. Then he started throwing up violently. He would want to nurse constantly - to soothe his tummy ache, I believe, but eating just made things worse. Cutting out the foods he was allergic to made all the difference in the world - I suddenly had a satisfied, well sleeping baby. The pediatricians ruled out food allergies when he was 2-3months old, but had to change their minds when they got proof on a paper after his 12-month visit.

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M.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Swaddle that girl as tightly as you can, would be my first thought. My daughter was the same way with gas and we rubbed her belly and bicycled her legs, which helped a little. We also thought that Gripe water helped--which is a totally natural supplement that helps digestion, with ginger and celery root. It worked wonders with our girl.

I'd check for ear infections too--especially if she'll sleep in a bouncy chair or semi-upright. Our girl didn't sleep well until she was 8 months and had ear tubes!

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K.P.

answers from Wichita on

My daughter was much like this 30 years ago. She had massive yeast problems, that were exacerbated by giving her amoxicillin for the staph and strep she was diagnosed with at 1 day old. She was never diagnosed with colic by her pediatrician, but that was surely the category of ailment most conventional doctors would have diagnosed her with. Today, I would just take her to my chiropractor/kinesiologist who could solve the problem. Without access to such a doctor, I would put my baby on Primadophilus Jr. to begin to restore the good bacteria in her intestinal tract. This product is available in health food stores. It's in capsules that can be opened up and mixed with breast milk or formula. There are other good probiotics available, for example, through independent Advocare distributors (check online). All of this culminated in my daughter being diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome at the age of 10. That's when I found the chiropractor/kinesiologist, who solved most of her problems. She does, however, to this day suffer from intestinal issues like acid reflux. She's just able to control it now with probiotics, Prevacid (which is now available OTC), and diet.

S.B.

answers from Topeka on

Snuggle her real tightly in a blanket, where she can't move her little hands and feet when startled in sleep. This will comfort her so much. Make sure you lay a shirt with your scent near her while she sleeps so she can have the feeling of closeness with you.

Otherwise there is always the crying out method. Let her cry until she falls asleep. You have to do something to keep your sanity.

Good Luck

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

agrees w/leah. my son never seemed to have an "off" switch - he would eat himself sick, literally. then he would spit up constantly. if i tried to cut back on his eating he'd fuss and cry like crazy. so they said he had reflux. the dr. ended up putting him on soy, which only marginally helped...he has always been in the 97th percentile for both height and weight...we never did really figure out what his issue was. (have to admit he never had probs sleeping, sorry, can't help with that!) but i know what it's like to have this kind of eater. they did put him on zantac too for awhile and it didn't seem to help either. i'm sorry this isn't helpful - he eventually just settled down and i guess started to realize when he was full. although it was very gradual. but i just wanted to say that i've been there, and feel your pain! if it makes you feel better (sure it doesn't!) he was my first so knowing you have three others and this is still an issue, makes me feel a lot less stupid! sorry girl, hang in there.

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