Anyone See That Dr Phil Episode on the Mom Wanting to Put to Sleep Her Children?

I don't find it unimaginable. A special needs child is very different from what this sounds like. I feel very sorry for this mother and hope she finds peace.

WOW. What would I do... I hope I never, ever have to find out. That is so saddening to me. I have a cousin who has a child like this.... he is a vegetable, and will die at some point, in fact they are surprised he is still alive. She takes such careful and attentive care of him, never complains, and loves him just like the rest of her children. I don't envy her, I don't know what kind of an emotionial connection I could have with a child who isn't really there- I loosely equate this to having an aging parent with alzheimer's. They are there but not really. Family gets no closure. My heart goes out to that woman...

(p.s.: I hope that no one on this thread is brazen enough to judge this woman because unless you have walked in her shoes, you have NO right.)

Wow I'd ask for their brains to be scanned to see the degree of brain function. I don't think anyone would want to live like this. I agree with her. This isn't the same as disabled kids or special needs kids. They are blind, deaf, and not able to move, eat or anything else. If this was an animal you would think its humane why do we expect less for humans. They wouldnt be alive without the feeding tubes.
I agree somewhat with people say its up to God but if it was without extra means the kids would be with god already

That's terrible for everyone involved. I'd have to see the episode or read more to really weigh in on this.

I do have a friend whose 3.5 yer old son has cerebral palsy triggered by strokes and brain hemorrhages that resulted from a blood clotting disorder. He was born prematurely but went home fairly healthy (breathing, eating) for a few weeks and then had more strokes and brain bleeds over several months and spent a year in the hospital. He is quadriplegic, legally blind, breathes with a ventilator, and has a G-tube and a J-tube for feedings and medications. He will never walk or talk, or even eat or breathe on his own. Every infection is a threat to his life. All that said, he is very much a part of his family and the community. His family has been blessed with excellent health insurance, which plays a huge role in his care. They have been able to set up what it basically a pediatric hospital room a home with all of his equipment in their home and he has nurses who come daily while his parents cover the rest of his care. They were able to fund raise enough to buy a van to transport him so that he can actually go places (prior to that he was either at home or the hospital via ambulance) and now our community is working on repairing their house so that they can make it safe for him to live there. The house is old and has a leaky roof, mold problems, outdated wiring and plumbing, etc. People are volunteering time and materials all this month to renovate their house. His parents are very serious about their religion (and always have been) so I think that their faith and the support of their community, particularly their church, sustains them. They are very positive and never complain about their situation - I should mention that they have 3 older kids, including a young adult son who is developmentally disabled. It's amazing to witness someone handle something so unexpected with grace and courage.

That said, it's easy to see the bright side when a severely disabled child is little and cute. Obviously dealing with teenagers and adults is a whole different ball game, and all parents of disabled children have to worry about who will care for their children when they are gone if they outlive them. Also, my friend's son can communicate pain and pleasure - he does smile and cry and, for at least now, can hear. I think those make a big difference too.

I honestly don't know what I would do in the circumstances that you describe. I suppose it's particularly hard when someone can breathe on his or her own. If someone were possibly in pain and totally non-responsive and on a vent, I think that I could, in OK conscience, remove life support and let them die a natural death. But to starve to death? No, I couldn't do that to someone. How awful for everyone.

I watched my grandfather slide into Alzheimer's. He went from a fun, warm, loving grandfather to someone who couldn't talk, was totally bedridden and couldn't take care of himself. While my grandmother chose to get a "do not resuscitate" order, at no time did we ever consider ending his life on our terms. It was NOT easy. It was heartbreaking to know he was "gone" before he died.

Many families face these challenges, or will. If it's not the child born with a condition, it's the parent who develops it.

Personally, I feel that a person's life and death is up to God. It is no more my place to end an old man's life than it is to decide that a special needs child should not go on. I'm not saying I don't sympathize, but I'm in the "not imaginable" camp. It is heartbreaking for all of them.

Can't imagine as my thought process would be to put my heart in between any bullet and their heart no matter what. My challenges are not hers so can't even begin to put my mind where hers is. I am blessed. I also believe the good lord gave each and every one of us so many heart beats and when we are out of them we are done. May no one have to ever make a decision about their childs life.

There, but for the grace of god, go I.

I would probably agree with her.............

If something like this happened to me, or my husband, where we were completely non responsive, no hope of improvement, inability to see, here, eat on my own - I do not think I would want to be a burden to anyone or to live like that. It's not life. But without difinitive proof (brain activity tests) we cannot say what these children see, think, feel. It has been known that people can fall into full body paralasys and still have full consciousness. (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly is a tearful example). I'd hope I would never have to make such a situation, but while imagining it... no, I wouldn't want to live like that. I'd rather move on to the next life than stay like that.

I watched an interview with the mother and in Canada apparently she can actually have the use of their feeding tubes stopped however, she said she would never do that due to it being cruel. I agree with that statement. She stated that the children she knew before the disease took hold would not want to live that way as it is not a life, they are existing. On the flip-side I cannot put myself in her shoes and it appears that she has done all she is able to do to help her children. The way this story was represented by the OP is somewhat accurate but none of us know the true story behind 1) the daily life for the mother, father, and other affected family members and 2) the condition of the grown children.

I cannot imagine being where she is and I hope I never have to be. Sometimes the hardest choice to make is the best choice. I'm not pro euthanasia at all however, it has been stated that the only thing keeping them alive is the feeding tube so when it comes down to it what life amounts to is the question. I feel saddened for everyone involved and based solely upon the minutes of video I had seen of her children it does not appear that there is any cognitive ability or awareness there. However, who gets to choose when someone can die? I don't believe that's left up to anyone or anything other than the natural course of life.

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