Anyone Else Out There Have a Lazy Problem like Me??

Updated on March 08, 2009
E.S. asks from Fort Worth, TX
60 answers

WOW, I can't believe I got 55 responses!!! Thank you to everyone who is responding and will keep responding :) I am overwhelemed with gratitude!! All the info has been very helpful and insightful. I failed to mention that I am a part-time student at night, so I get out of the house 2 nights a week for this and have been doing it for the past 2 years. It's helped me in the area of taking care of myself. I am someone who takes care of myself. I always fix my hair, wear makeup, and put on trendy clothes...so please dont' think I'm just someone who lays in bed all day and doesn't do anything for myself. I seriously think something is wrong with my thyroid. I know it's LOW!! I have all the symptoms of it. Almost 2 years ago my obgyn (who I no longer see) discovered a nodule on my thyroid and referred me to a surgeon. After numerous tests, bloodwork, and exams it tured out I had a benign tumor on it. The surgeon insisted on leaving it there since it appeared to be causing no problems. All my blood work and levels checked out normal - but I kept telling them all my symptoms, but he said I was fine. For my last 6 month checkup I was referred to another surgeon in that practice because the one I had been seeing retired!!! I was not impressed with this last surgeon that I saw back in October. I'm seeking to find someone else, as well as a new OBGYN. So, I serioulsy think that my thyroid is off even when I've been told I'm fine?? That's all for now. I have to get back to reading all of these other wonderful responses.

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

Well E., I actually have 2 referrals for you. First, based upon your follow-up is for a doc. My doc, Karen Birdy is a hormone specialist. I use her office as my gp as well as my gyn. I just googled her to find a website for her and found someone else recommend her as a good thyroid doc on a blog. I didn't find a website for her (I could have sworn she had one before), but she is located in Benbrook and her number is ###-###-####. She takes a holistic approach to the body and does not prescribe any synthetics. I have been going to her for over 4 years. Sometimes there is a hefty wait in her office, but I just had my annual last week and I was in and out of her office in well under an hour.

I also have twins (g-g b. 2002), and I am a single mother and have been since their birth. Believe me, I understand being overwhelmed.

I never get the house clean. It is so hard to keep up with it all! I hate the feeling of everything being so disorganized and in disarray. I think the idea of flylady or declutter with Mimi is awesome to maintain, but I just found it wasn't enough to get me motivated. I found (thanks to Mamasource) a wonderful source to make my life feel so much less complicated. Tonia and her mom will come out and clean and organize your house. It is so much easier to maintain when you have a starting point. The best feeling is just the weight off of your shoulders from not having to look at the disaster that surrounds you in your home. Tonia will come out for a one time or as a regular service. I use her about once a month. You can find her on here under housekeeping to look at her reviews. Her number is ###-###-####.

Best of Luck!

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N.T.

answers from Dallas on

80% of all health issues are directly related to stress, according to the American Medical Association. In case you haven't heard of adaptogens, they are a category of herbs that help reduce the negative effects of stress on the body, restore balance, and support normal metabolic processes. (A lot has been discussed recently about adaptogens, even Oz on Oprah). Adaptogens help increase the body's resistance to physical, biological, emotional, and environmental stressors and promote normal physiologic function.

To learn more about fast acting adaptogen sprays and watch "The Story of Adaptogens Documentary" 10 minute video, go to VitalHealth.TunguskaMist.com

You'll have more energy and endurance with adaptogens. (You'll get the energy you need to get you through your hectic days)! Adaptogens also help elevate mood and improve mental clarity. (Natural alternatives to antidepressants).

That's awesome that you workout, watch what you eat, and take vitamins. Did you know that the body only absorbs 10-15% of what's in vitamins (pill or tablet form)? Check out the PDR chart on the site above to see the how intra-oral sprays absorb over 90% in comparison!

A great book that I recommend is titled Adaptogens: Herbs for Strength, Stamina, and Stress Relief by Winston and Maimes.

I also recommend listening to some energizing music that gets you going, or if you like Joel Osteen, you can listen to him online, which is very motivating!!!

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions, or need further advice and/or encouragement. I've studied health, wellness, and Kinesiology for many years and have a passion for helping people change their life:)

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R.M.

answers from Dallas on

E.-
It sounds like reading below, you have already received many good suggestions. I would just like to add one thing ... a very common but frequently overlooked condition in women is Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome. I do not know too much about it, but my close friend who was experiencing symptoms similar to you was found to have that. She has been undergoing treatment for a couple months now and is feeling much better. She went to Inanna Birthing Center -- they see women for a varity of issues, not just giving birth. You may have to search outside of the typical doctor's office to find a professional willing to look at your life and health in a holistic manner, which is what you most likely need. Best of luck!

R.

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi E.,

It sounds like you have nutritional deficiencies. Although your blood tests may be normal, the range of normal is pretty wide and applies to the population as a whole. I am a Chiropractor and I use Applied Kinesiology (aka - muscle testing) to determine nutritional deficiencies or organ weaknessess. By using Applied Kinesiology we can determine which organs are weak and prescribe the correct nutritional supplementation. There are several things that may be involved - your adrenal glands could be suppressed due to to much stress or caffeine, you may have an overgrowth of yeast in your system, your thyroid may be weak, your hormones could be out of balance causing depression. There are many factors. If you are interested in finding the cause and moving forward, feel free to call me at ###-###-#### or visit my website at sullivanchiropractic.com. Thanks! Dr. Sandra S.

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S.J.

answers from Dallas on

Hi E., I can relate! I had tons of energy before having kids. I taught in two schools, putting on two music programs every few weeks. I sang in a band every thurs, fri, sat night for 4 hrs plus set up and tear down. I managed to keep my apt clean, etc. Then I had kids. two in 3 years. I knew I was having the symptoms of low thyroid, (I gained a ton of weight, my hair was very thin and strange, dry skin, constipation, low low energy, depression and on and on) but... my OB said my thyroid levels were "normal". Well, I researched and found that even if your levels are in the low side of normal, you may not be normal! So I went to Dr.Launius in Lewisville. (after suffering 3 yrs!) I just went a little over a week ago. He listened to me and asked a ton of questions. He checked my reflexes, noticed my hands and feet were cold (i was wearing a warm turtlneck sweater), and he felt my neck and said my thyroid was enlarged. He said "I can tell by looking at you and from what you've said that you have low thyroid" but he did the blood tests and they sent me the results a couple of days later and called in my prescription the following monday. They started me in a 1/2 dose of Armour thyroid (the most natural and safest kind--better than synthetic) and I tell you, I felt better IMMEDIATELY!!! and that was on 1/2 the dose I'm taking today! He put me on 1/2 dose for a week and now "full" dose until blood levels get checked again in a few weeks. The dose will probably go up and up until I'm completely balanced. I am a different person. I mean, I feel normal! I can clean up my house and then some. and before I was sooooo dragging around and feeling so helpless. so it's worth it to get your thyroid checked or go to the natural Dr. that responded to you, she will definitely be able to help you. I don't really trust mainstream Dr.'s anymore. just the ones who take the time to know what's REALLY going on. Blessings! Stephanie

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

PLEASE get your thyroid checked and make sure that along with TSH, they measure Free T3, Free T4 (note: it MUST be "Free" and not "Total" to be accurate), TPO and anti-thyroid antibodies. If they do NOT test all those things, they CANNOT tell you it's not your thyroid. And, I would request a sonogram of your thyroid - even if tests are normal, you can have small nodules that indicate you have autoimmune thyroid disease. I and both my sons are hypothyroid - it is genetic and very prevalent these days.

Please do not accept a diagnosis of depression or ADD - those are just symptoms of a fundamental problem.

The nutrient tests others mention are also important - I can't recall if ferritin was mentioned BUT for me that is a biggie for energy.

I felt just like you when my kids were young, but just thought that was they way all mother's felt and it does seem there are lots that do, BUT in hindsight it was my thyroid dying - half my thyroid has been destroyed. Replacement thyroid hormone has made all the difference in how I deal with and feel everyday, along with high quality supplements (i.e., not something you can pickup at Wally World or Wal***, etc.), a good diet and exercise.

And, I tried Flylady and Confessions of an organized homemaker and both are helpful BUT only after you ensure that your are physically well. I can guarantee that some of these other mothers are undiagnosed hypo - it is rampant in our society - the book by Mark Starr - Hypothyroidism Type II is a phenomenal book for explaining why.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Read "Confessions of an Organized Homemaker" and learn how to keep your home maintained and dinner on the table. You're not alone, it's very normal. But go learn more and get informed and get ideas on how to do better, then apply them. Put the children to work to help too! That book helped me a lot with realizing what needs to be done and what can wait. I even made a yearly chore chart that just told me what month of the year I had to dust for cobwebs and then forget about it the rest of the year! I clean behind the stove & fridge every 3 months and disenfect the washer every 4 months. I don't ever really do a big scrubbing of the bathrooms. I just maintain, whenever the toilet starts to look dirty, I squirt in a little soap, take the toilet brush to it, and waa laa, bathroom is done for the day. Another day I might do the sink. Every day try and do dishes and general pick up of the house. On the other days just do 1-3 other things and you'll be good to go. Don't stress!!
Computer addiction might be your problem. Put a stopwatch by your computer and REFUSE to go over 2 hours a day, then maybe work yourself down to 1 hour.

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D.M.

answers from Dallas on

Ok, you might think it is complicated at first when you look at the web site, but check out www.Flylady.net. It is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time! It's free and it can not only help get you started becoming more organized and keeping a clean and blessed house, but it can make you feel better about yourself! Seriously! I didn't manage our house very well before my son was born and after he came I just became so overwhelmed and disorganized. I was stressed and unmotivated and FlyLady really helped me. My MIL told me about her a few years ago but I didn't pay attention. I was reminded of the web site a couple months ago and have made some seious strides! Good Luck!

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A.T.

answers from Dallas on

wow, I think its awesome that you see there is a problem and are willing to find a solution good for you! Have you talked to your husband about this? I can suggest a couple 'small'things to try (the key is small but if you go too big then you'll get overwhelmed and won't do anything.

Try making it a habit every night to go to ____@____.com or earlier. Right before bed make a list of things you want to accomplish in the day. But limit it to 6 things... When my sons were first born my list usually had things like 'take a shower!' or 'empty dishwasher' since I was so focused on just taking care of the babies. Now that they are 2.5 and 5 I expanded it beyond 'routine' items...

Also, set up a reward system for yourself (I do this too). If I get the bathrooms clean I can check email. After I get the kids their breakfast I can sit down and eat mine :) I homeschool,so after learning time and lunch during their resttime I can scrapbook or go on facebook...

It seems that you enjoy some of the same things I do... and I know I can totally getlost in them... but we have tocontrol them and use them as rewards so we can getother stuff done...

Let me know what works for you...I am interesting in hearing how everything turns out...

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

Bless your heart - we have all been there one time or another. I did what you did - realize lazy life was not for me and asked for help - from my dear woman friends!

One friend said this about housework:
Clean one room a day. By the end of the week, it is all done. AND who cares if it is a bit messy as long as it is clean.
Laundry: Wash all pants together, all shirts, then all the little stuff. Of course mind your colors but do easy loads. Do a load or two a day but don't save it for one giant wash day-Yuck. That made me lazy too just thinking about it.

As for dinner: I was a late bloomer as a cook. Campbell Soups saved me. Try different meats with different soups then add rice or noodles or potatoes, veges. It will get you started in the right direction. Pick one favorite meal and cook that one to four times a month - we do spaghetti on Monday-worry free and we love it. Pizza on Fridays. Easy.

PS: Best roast recipe: high fry every side, put in pan with beef broth and let cook on very low 24 hours. Yum.
Add whatever you want as sides: Variation: Add tomatoes to stew (don't forget a pinch of sugar!) mushrooms or onions, or add veges on 2nd day into pan. Yum. Hubbies love this.

As for you. That is harder because you give so much. Start with lipstick every day. Then add makeup, then add hair. Only buy descent clothes to wear - not just sweats and lay a round house clothes. That will keep you always looking nice. Get out to the library. meet a friend at the local restaurant where the kids can play. Start moving - once in motion...
Go for walk in the evenings.

Get the kids involved in YOUR exercise routine. It does get depressing always being at a four year old level.

If you really want to get back in the swing of things, sell something on Ebay and give yourself a purpose.

You are not alone!!! Once you get started, you will feel better!

Good luck! PS: When kiddos go to Kindergarten-volunteer at the school. You will love that and I bet they will love you!
God bless, C.

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

E.,
i just wanted you to know that you're not alone. :) i too find myself in a "lazy rut"....it's like i know what i ought to do, i could even tell you how to do it...but i lack the drive to get it all done. Raising children is a tiring and selfless job. As mothers, we tend to put ourselves on the back burner most of the time. I have found for me that when i stay in jammies all day, i lack even more motivation. I really have to put myself on my own schedule..shower, eat, chores,errands etc. I'm a visual learner and seeing things written out really helps! As a child, my mother had a chore chart...maybe something like this will help you as well as keep your children motivated and organized! If my house is messy, that contributes to my lack of motivation. It's kind of funny, i LOVE LOVE LOVE to clean for other people but when it comes to my own home, i find it difucult b/c i know its going to get messy 5 min later! :) When i clean for other people, its still clean when i leave! :) i hope just knowing you're not alone helps! Maybe something like a chart will help (my friend used this for her family--even her husband--and it seemed to work well for them) I plan on using a chart now that my son is old enough to help out!
take care, good luck!
S.

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R.S.

answers from Dallas on

First I recommend you talk to your doctor about your concerns. Once you rule out (or discover!) any medical problems, there's alot of great advice given here by fellow moms.

I echo those who recommend Flylady(www.flylady.net)--you'll get e-mails each day with mini-motivations and some tasks you can accomplish in 15 minute increments. She also has a regular podcast. You can download one called "Crisis Cleaning" and another called "Weekly Home Blessing Hour" that will walk you through a quick cleaning at first and maintenance each week. She also has a Facebook page!

For menus, I recommend www.e-mealz.com. Most weekly menus come out to under $100 a week. One page is your shopping list and the other is the menu along with instructions. Easy to make food, and so far my 2 and 4 year olds have only rejected two meals in six months. You can choose by store, diet, allergies, etc. It's $15 for 3 months, but well worth it.

Please don't beat yourself up about this. All of us feel this way at one point or the other. Pat yourself on the back for asking for help--that's the first step.

Good luck!

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

YES! flylady.net will save you!

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J.G.

answers from Dallas on

I can completely relate to your post. I have 3 boys 7, 5 and 5 months and the youngest does not sleep through the night. I also work outside the home part time. I like you do not like to cook. I love scrapbooking and can get reeled into Facebook and lose track of the time. Of course, you most important job is caring for your boys! Here are a few things that I do to help me stay up top of things. Even on the days I don't work I make sure I wake up and take a shower and dressed before my big boys wake up -this helps me stay on top of my day. I have set days I do things (this changes week to week depending on what may be going on in the week - I have to do this because I work part time). For example, Tuesday is my laundry day and I usually clean bathrooms on this day also. I do all my laundry in one day and I may have to do one small load another time in the week. I also plan out when I am going to clean the bathrooms, dust, mop, etc for the week. I plan out my meals before I go grocery shopping and write the meals on the calendar for the week. It can be really crazy after school trying to make dinner and do homework and care for the baby. I also try to make meals in the crock pot on the days I work. You said your children are 4 - I would involve them in helping you by putting away clothes, moving clothes from the washing to dryer, unloading the silverware from the dishwasher, gathering the small trash on trash day are a few things my 5 year old helps with. I personally use scrapbooking and fun computer time like Facebook as personal rewards for accomplishing the tasks for the day. This is never perfect but it is what I try to follow this. I also find having a little quiet time before I pick up my big boys from school is really helpful. That's all for now - my laundry is waiting.

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A.P.

answers from Dallas on

I have just found this website called flylady.com that has really helped me. It is wonderful!

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U.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hi E.,
I feel like I could have written your message myself; I can totally relate (even to the scrapbooking and facebook). I have 2 daughters, age 4 and 3, and pregnant with #3. I'm also a SAHM, my kids are with me all day (no pre-school) and I have a hard time having energy and motivation to do housework, cook. I don't even work-out. I feel like all my energy is toward the kids, with entertaining them and discipline. I always think it is my personality, that I can focus on one thing at a time. I try to give myself credit for what I do and make small changes here and there. I hope when my kids start school full time, it will give me a sense of freedom and motivation and energy.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

It sounds like you are either depressed or overwhelmed. Somebody here replied to a different question by recommending www.flylady.com. Check out that website...it may help you too! It's meant for clearing out the clutter in your house but seems like it would work well for mind clutter too!

Blessings to you!

M.
Our pediatrician misses us. So does the pharmacist.
Check out my Mamasource profile to find out why!

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi E., you are not alone. I too, had the extreme exhaustion and overwhelmed feeling. I wasn't getting anywhere with my GP so I booked a physical since I'm 36 (and my insurance covers one every year). Sure enough it started with my thyroid being a mess. Three months later it led to finding I had two discs in my neck that slipped out and were pinching my spinal cord. I had that surgery last week. My mom did some asking around and wants me to see if my GP will check me for fibromyalgia. Someone she works with had my same symptoms for years. My husband cooks for me, too because I don't enjoy it, but I don't think there's a pill that will change my mind on that! :) I'm going to look into my D and B counts from another response you got, sounds like a good idea. Good luck and hang in there!

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

Do you think that this might be caused from depression? If not, I know that excercising increases your energy. Also, eating healthy helps with that as well. I would attempt to try and turn the t.v. off; and not use the computer for a week. See what happens. Just some thoughts. I am not an expert considering I can be lazy sometimes as well when I am over tired. However, I do notice when I opt to turn the t.v. off during the day that I have more motivation to do other things.

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hello E.,

I feel the same way! I just started a consultation with a nutritionist. I do know that I have some food allergies and that affects me too. have you been tested for allergies? did they check you vitamin D level? (blood test) the range should be between 32-100 ... trust me, you don't want to be on the lower range. I was at 27. then got an RX for a weekly pill fo 50,000 units and that has made a HUGE difference!!!! you need to figure out what are the healthy levels for you. I'm also taking emergen-c ....I like the raspberry flavor (I get it at sprouts) see how different foods make you feel. it might take 12-18 hrs before you know. for example milk makes me very moody. however yogurt makes me pms on wheels any time of the month. have your vitamin B levels checked too. good luck! ~C.~

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E.R.

answers from Dallas on

What are you doing with your time? You didn't say? Playing with the boys? Watching TV? Surfing Facebook? Sounds like eiher a depression or addiction is at hand.

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T.P.

answers from Dallas on

E., you don't sound lazy to me, you sound overwhelmed! And, once things get a little out of hand, it is hard to know where to start. I know the system below works and you might want to try it.

Get a stack of colored index cards and a same size recipe card file box. Color code the cards by days of the week. Write out the chores to be done that day and what time to do the chore and don't worry about the rest. You can include tasks for your husband and children. Things like cooking and washing dishes and picking up the den before going to bed at night should be on every day. It makes it nicer to get up to the next morning.

I made a schedule for a co-worker who can not keep up the laundry. She says it is working well. Her card reads as follows:

Last thing at night:
Start a load of light weight clothes in the washer.
First thing in morning:
Put that load in dryer, start second wash of heavier clothes that takes longer to dry (Jeans, Sheets, Towels)
Before leaving for work:
Fold light weight clothes, put 2nd wash into dryer, start a third washer with shirts or things that need to be put up as soon as the dryer stops. Go to Work.
Return from work:
Fold heavy load, put 3rd washer load in dryer.
As soon as the dryer stops, fold or hang up that load.

That basically gets 3 loads of laundry done a day. She also has 3 bedrooms and washes one set of sheets every other day so she doesn't have to do all sets on the weekend.

Something as simple as running dish water and soap in the sink before you sit down to eat so each person can rinse their own dishes and put them in the dishwasher, or, wash them after a meal, saves you time when you are tired in the evening.

Before going to bed, the kids have to pick up their toys (hopefully in all rooms; but, if not, at least the common area). If your husband is already helping out, this would help him too and make him feel like he has the support of his family too.

Be very specific when writing the task and write down a time to have the task completed. Be sure to schedule some down time for you too! A nap would be nice but so would a good book while the kids nap.

It is a good way to look back on the day and see what you have accomplished and enjoyed. All guilt free! Good luck and God Bless You.

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M.F.

answers from Tyler on

Twins! Wow that must be an adventure everyday! lol What a blessing. I am on facebook all the time as well and love to scrapbook. I don't have the time lately for scrapbooking because I have a newborn little girl. She will be five weeks on Monday. Soo very sweet. My son is almost four this month and loves her and is such a good brother. Me and my husband have been married for three years now and together for five. If you ever need someone to talk to..I'm one of millions on this site with a good ear. :) M.

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K.G.

answers from Dallas on

Your not lazy just overwhelmed. I was in your shoes, couldn't figure out where/how to start. I finally got on the computer and started "googling" that is where I found Marla aka The FLY L.. Check out her website www.flylady.com there you will find out it's not just you and you can begin to set up your routines. It's as easy as shining your sink. I promise. Good luck!

Kelly Green
Mom/Clever Container consultant/PSD

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

Please go to the doctor and get your thyriod checked!!! Simple blood test to rule out an illness. I didn't have thyriod problems until after my two boys were 5 and 3.

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L.G.

answers from Dallas on

I scrub and sweep my floors daily. It is never ending with kids. YOu are not alone. If you want a temporary fix (and I do me short term) Get some meds from your GP. I am not talking Xanax, something weaker. Give yourself a break. It will take the edge off and maybe you will not feel such a sense of hopelessness. I did, and it helped.

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J.L.

answers from Dallas on

E.,

I don't have any advice, but I wanted you to know you are not alone!!! Thank you for being courageous enough to admit this on here. I am in the same spot as you. I just had my thyroid checked yesterday and am waiting on the results. I would love for there to be some reason to explain these feelings so I won't feel so down on myself. I do know that I may get a clean bill of health. I think sometimes we just have to push through and make ourselves work hard even when we don't feel like it. I'm trying to depend on God right now and praying hard that he will help me to feel motivated. It's sooooo hard!!! Again, thank you for asking about this. I am being blessed by some of the answers as well.

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J.B.

answers from Tyler on

Have you ever worked outside the home? Were you lazy in your job, too? I was. I realized after 4 years of marriage, practically sleeping standing up, and caring for 2 babies even, that I was depressed. I got help when my hubby said he wouldn't live like that forever. I didn't blame him. Counseling and meds helped me tremendously. Also, you might explore food allergies that are making you feel this way. After years and years, I discovered I have an allergy to gluten. It made me feel tired all the time. Since going gluten-free, I have energy!!! You just have to examine all your symptoms and what other things are going on in your life. Don't depend on a doctor to solve it. They only treat symptoms, never look for the cause!! Then there's also some people who need structure--get up at a certain time, do certain things at a certain time. I was always better if I knew someone was coming over. Good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

That very well could be the problem. It could also be stress. Six months before I got pregnant with my daughter I was at work and I lost every bit of energry I had. I went to the doctor he tested for Epstien- barr. It came back positive. It is the same thing as mono. Turns out that I the stress I was under set it off. My husband was in police academy in Austin. I was working full time as a medical assistant in a pretty physical job, packing to move 5 hours from my family and friends. I had 4-5 debilitating headaches a week. It was the hardest time of my life. I felt it was even very hard to breathe.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

E.,

I didn't read all of the previous requests, but one thing I haven't seen is exercise. It is the last thing we want to do after taking care of everyone else all day, but it will make you feel more alive and much happier.

I had a similar experience, and my doctor said I had stress induced fatigue. When I started running and doing yoga again, I felt like my old self again. Your family will thank you for it!!

Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

I TOTALLY feel ya! I am exactly what you described. If you are taking care of yourself by diet and excersice, you might as your doctor for bloodwork. If that comes back all normal, then there are a couple things it could be. Mild depression, hereditary or temporary...You don't have to have all the crying, and other symptoms that can come along with depression. Your doctor might be able to assist you in getting on an antidepressant for awhile. Depending on your childhood, there may be some underlying issues that a counselor could help you resolve. It's tough being a SAHM of twin boys! You might need a boost of medicine for a bit. Also, are you fueling your spiritual life? This is just as important, if not more important, than diet and excersice. A healthy balance of each is good. Likely you are having issues in more than one area to some degree...that's where others can help you.
Take care.

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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

E., I have that problem. I do work full time and have my son full time and my daughter part time and my husband none of the time. Our family is very complicated! My husband is dealing with a custody battle for his daughter and must live in the state of the court dealing with the case. But I do feel the same way. My kids are a bit older they are 9 and 8 but when they were 4 I can remember all those feelings you mentioned. I found that counseling helped me. I just need a time and place to deal with me and talk about the way I felt. That may help. I was not depressed just overwhelmed and being able to talk about it to someone neutral helped make the feelings small. Hope this helps you somewhat.
I also am addicted to facebook. Look for me my email is ____@____.com we can be friends there too!

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D.G.

answers from Lubbock on

Have you ever heard of the website flylady.net? The website has been a god send for me in helping keep my house and other things in order (somewhat) She helped me adapt routines which I have altered to fit my lifestyle and schedule. She is also very uplifiting!

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know if you've heard about FLYlady, but it's a sort of program to help you establish routines to keep your home in order and just feel better about yourself. If you go to flylady.net everything is there. The website might be a little overwhelming at first, but one of her big things is taking baby steps and not expecting perfection. If you get a chance, check it out!

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

I get like this too - and then one day I'll just snap and go workout for 90 minutes, and then clean the whole house... followed by 3 weeks of not doing another thing. It is frustrating. I have always been prone to depression and ADD. The ADD part is more noticable when I have 50 different things going and can't seem to finish 1. My husband and I work together from home and he noticed it about 3 yrs ago. I just thought I was spacey, but after seeing a psychiatrist and taking Strattera daily, I've really got it under control. I also use the following website http://www.menus4moms.com/ - we don't homeschool, and I also don't always do what the whole menu is, but it's nice to have a baseline to work with. It also will send you emails daily about cleaning. I love this. It breaks down the whole thing into about 30 minutes/day.

Another thing - allow yourself (and have your husband help you enforce this) some decompression time every day in order to get started. Mine is the time I check emails, drink my coffee, and do Mamasource/Internet in the morning. Everybody knows that the Strattera hasn't kicked in yet and I need my time to come around!

hope this helps!!
C.

Oh - and I also take vitamin C in those packets of "emergen-C" - they really help you have some energy too.

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T.B.

answers from Dallas on

I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but it sounds like you are mildly depressed.
I didn't want to do anything extra, I would do the bare minimum and sleep away the rest.
I went through this and thought the doctor was absolutely out of his mind, however I went on a very mild antidepressant and to my shock it worked. I didn't not stay on them very long but it was enough to get me out of the funk. There may be some natural remedies out there but I don't know any to reccomend.
Good Luck and God Bless.

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

I too am a stay at home mom. I have a 17 month old boy. I cant imagine having twins full time! I have had my thyroid checked. Nothing was wrong. I just try to tell myself that I had alot more time before I was a mom to clean and cook etc. Now I have my hands FULL!!!! Dont be h*** o* yourself. If you have yourself checked out and nothing is wrong just tell yourself that you are raising your boys and keeping them from harms way! Just do the best you can do. Dont overwork yourself to keep up the house and everything. I still get the cleaning done...eventually!!! And it also helps that my hubby cooks and will clean too! Good Luck!

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N.L.

answers from Dallas on

Just as the other mothers have suggested, it could be nutrition, thyroid, depression, So I would definatley talk to your doctor about all the above. Also, you might consider getting some exercise. It would build strength and stamina and exercising releases endorphins that make you feel really good too! As far as cooking goes, I absolutely love the website www.allrecipes.com It is recipes that the average person posts, and what I love is that each recipe has many suggestions on making it better or if there is an ingredient that you don't have there are suggestions on what you can use to replace it. I would try starting out w/one recipe a week. Find something you think you might enjoy to make, and just follow the recipe the best you can. After you have made a few hit dishes you might enjoy it more. Espeically if your family really love them too! I get great satisfaction knowing I am doing good by trying to cook a wholesome meal for my family! Especially when they clean their plates!

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

Have you had your doctor check to make sure your thyroid was ok? I went to the doctor to be checked out because I wanted to sleep all of the time. I could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I would go to bed by around 8:00 almost every night because I had absolutely no energy to do anything. I am now on thyroid medicine and things are much better.

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A.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi E.-

When I read your post this morning, it took me back about 4 years to when my youngest was 3. I was SO TIRED all the time. Truly exhausted. Each morning I would think, I can't possibly have the energy to get through this day! I think that motherhood is exhausting!! 4 year old twins require your constant attention.

I will tell you that it sounds like you are doing everything right-exercise, vitamins, good diet. I do think that you can start small and feel some accomplishment/control over your life. It helped me to get out of the house with the kids. We did the library reading hours/playgroup dates/etc. Adult interaction face-to-face helps tremendously! I always felt better knowing that ALL moms are stressed to some degree.

I have heard from friends that the website "flylady.net" helped them get control. It starts with telling you to keep your kitchen sink clean...and walks you through the household chores. "Spend 10 minutes cleaning 1 room". I sort of did that as well.

Start with baby steps. And know that you are so not alone in this journey of motherhood. It gets better with each passing day/month/year. I look back now and wish it had not gone by so fast, as well as wishing that I had had the energy to truly enjoy it!

I hope this was helpful. Best of luck and God Bless,

A.

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi E., your not lazy your just stuck in a rut.I just had a baby 5 months ago and he is my first child.I was just like you I couldn't keep things organized or cook. Finally I figured out that I could not sleep when he slept. I had to get up and take that oppurtunity to clean up or cook.some times I go room by room. One day ill clean the kitchen and the living room and the next day Ill do the bathrooms and so on.also have u tried keeping your boys entertained while you cook or clean. Maybe with some educational videos like barney or sesame street.it works every time.Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

Relax ladybug, we are not suppose to be super moms and super wives. Housework is NEVER done!! There will always be something that needs to be washed, dusted, vaccumed or cleaned. Enjoy the time with your kids and husband. I'm not saying let the house go completely, just do what you can and keep up the best you can. Don't stress over the fact that your house is not Martha Stewart perfect, don't worry about it. As long as the kids are clean, clothes washed and the dishes are done you are doing good. When your kiddos get older and they can help and don't need so much done for them it will get easier. I was in the same boat when my son was a baby and a toddler. I was stressing and killing myself to have the perfect house. My sister gave the best advice, CHILL. Make memories with your children and give them your time, the house work will always be there. Now that my son is eight and can help with a few things like putting his laundry away, picking up his dishes, taking out the trash and getting his own cereal it does help. Good luck and go and make some memories.

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

Have you considered the possibility that you may have mild depression? You mention not ever being like this before you stayed home with kids, so maybe that is the problem.
Maybe spending more time away from the house whenyour husband is home, seeing adult friends and being yourself will boost you up.

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J.J.

answers from Dallas on

So after 48 answers, I am actually going to suggest something different - and it may sound weird. I think you may need to get even more on your plate! All the things you talked about in your post were for your family. But what do you do for YOU? I know I start to feel drained and lazy sometimes. I love my kids dearly, but unless I take a break and do things for me sometimes, it seems that I don't have the motivation to do anything. I hope this doesn't sound selfish. It's hard to explain. I guess it comes down to this: when I am happier and more refreshed by enjoying myself, it feels easier to take care of my kids and home. Whether you join a book club, take a class, whatever, try refreshing yourself with just YOU time. It might just be the spark you need. Good luck and God Bless.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

If the regular drs aren't helping, it might be time for a different approach.

I had problems with low thyroid about 10 years ago and had all the symptoms/results you're describing, but it showed up when they did the blood tests: TSH was low, so were all the thyroid hormones. (Make sure the doctor tests for ALL the thyroid hormones, not just the regular ones). However, I've heard that you can have thyroid problems even if your thyroid checks out okay. If you're on the low end of normal, your body might still need some thyroid medicine.

And no, I don't think you should call yourself lazy! I read a book about 20 or so years ago called "Side-tracked Home Executives" It was hilarious and described me to a "T". You might just be sidetracked!

Something that might help is to take pharmaceutical grade (nitrogen processed/cold-pressed) Omega 3 oil. Don't just buy it from the grocery store - make sure it's processed the right way or it won't really do much good.

Sorry this is so long.

Hope you get to feeling better!

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

Vitamin B 12 or complex injections have helped me.. I get them weekly...

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D.K.

answers from Dallas on

This sounds like depression to me. You need to carve out some "you" time and go to the movies, go shopping, do something only for you for a short period of time each week. This will give you something to look forward to and help with the pressure of being a stay at home mom. If that doesn't work, have a long conversation with your doctor. He can prescribe something really mild to help out.

D. Kimbriel
Grandma to 2 beautiful boys

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P.M.

answers from Dallas on

Have your dr check your thyroid. I was the same way when mine stopped working. I was the energizer bunny and then just hit a wall and stayed there for 9 months until I misscarried and that is when we found the issue. Hope this helps!

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B.L.

answers from Dallas on

What kinda Vitamins you taking? Have you thought maybe depression? It is kinda weird that you will take care of yourself, but feel not up to taking care of your house. There is many things that cause energy drain. A second opion would be good.

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N.J.

answers from Abilene on

I know exactly how you feel. My twin girls are 7 now, but until they went to pre-k. It was so hard to get ANY done. Dinner was always late, clothes piled up. I was so tired and fatigued I couln't see staight. :) Part of it, is that your so tired from taking care of twins. The energy you spend in the first 2 years of their life is crazy. Now that they are 4 and can do a ton of thing by themself. Your taking more brakes, and getting a few mins of me time in. Those few mins of me time make you feel so good, you want more. :)

I had postpardom after my girls for like 2 years. That made mine even worse. The meds made me sleep a lot, and made more more tired than I already was. I got off the meds, and my mom started taking them to a day-care 2 to 3 times a week. I started feel MUCH better. Then we moved and they went to pre-k, and I started finding me again, after I caught up with my sleep. :)

As for the house.. Your kids are more important, and you'll find a routine that will help you get the stuff done around the house. Just start with one room at a time, and look at the smaller picture, not the whole house at once.

hope this helped

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

Your sons are old enough to help with some of the straightening. Now is the best time to teach them how to put away their toys, clothes, and shoes. Make them responsible for cleaning up their messes.

After you've got the boys picking up after themselves (and don't think you won't have to remind or nag them about it. You'll have to do that until they are old enough to move out of the house!) pick another thing you want to focus on. Maybe you want to learn to cook? Start watching Food Network shows with easy recipes, like Rachael Ray or Semi-homemade like Sandra Lee.

You say you're addicted to Facebook? Why not try limiting your access to this for 30-60 minutes a day, maybe in the evening when everything else is done and the boys are in bed.

Also, keep in mind that unless you are planning to homeschool the boys, they'll be off to kindergarten in just another year or so (depending on their birthday). You'll have a bit more time to get organized then. In the meantime, do they go to daycare? If not, maybe you should consider sending them to a half-day program 2-3 days a week. Then you can use that time to clean and get organized.

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

I think u answered u r own question. U r addicted to facebook, that's why u cant leave it to complete u r chores. I know several people who complain that they get sucked into it everyday.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

Im also a SAHM with 4 year old twin boys (and a 8 year old daughter) and usually Im a clean freak, but I really understand what your saying. I was so good keeping up with everything until about a year ago, when the boys got super active. Seems like whatever I clean just gets dirty again within hours, so it got really frustrating. If you've been checked out by a doctor and your healthy, it just sounds like your overwhelmed. Just try to focus on the most important things to do, getting stuff you do/use everyday organized, etc and then once that gets done move on to other things. Also, make sure your taking time out for yourself. I found I am the most overwhelmed when I havent had some time to myself (somehow I dont mind cleaning if Ive gotten to sleep in or had a night out with the girls!).
Good luck! Right now it probably sounds hard to start, but once you get going and things gets organized/cleaned little by little it will get easier. : )

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A.F.

answers from Dallas on

I wouldn't call it lazy. I was the same way, I've got 4 small children, and I got to the point where I didn't want to do anything either, because I was tired all the time. I talked with my Dr and he suggested B12. Instead of taking the B12 pill, he suggested the liquid you put under your tounge. You put a dropper full or two under your tounge for 30 seconds then swallow, and it works faster. It's been a God send for me. It's over the counter and you can get it at pretty much any pharmacy.

I hope this helps,

A.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I thought of a number of things that could be the problem. I used to work with a woman who was tired all the time and finally was diagnosed with an illness called chronic fatigue or something to that effect. Could be your thyroid. If all medical results are normal, could you be depressed? I would, also, mention this to your doctor if it is a possibility. If that is not the problem, maybe you just need to get more active and get outside and go for a walk every morning. I know when I'm inside for several days because of the weather or sickness, I become lazy and I have to force myself to get active again. You said you work out, but nothing is better than getting outside in the fresh air and getting some exercise with or without your kids. It wouldn't hurt you or your children to give it a try. Good luck and don't give up trying to figure this problem out.

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D.W.

answers from Dallas on

I drink SPARK, from ADVOCARE. you can go online and checkit out at www.advocare.com/0402179
You can email me at ____@____.com

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Go to your Dr and have your complete blood count done.

I was tired so much, even with normal sleep and eating.....my blood was checked....I was anemic. It was more complicated than just anemia...I had plenty of iron but my body does not absorb it. Same with some other nutrients.

It was amazing what some B12 shots and high doses of vitamin D did for me.

Now I make sure I am on track with those nutrients and I also drink DanActive daily.

Good luck!

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P.F.

answers from Dallas on

used to until I started drinking MonaVie, 2oz in the morning and 2oz at night. Check it out www.the-team.biz/MV949918

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

E., sounds like you have a lot of people out there who can relate. I have been a full-time working mom and just lost my job, so am now at home for the first time with my son who just turned five. I started falling into the same rut you were in and couldn't figure out how I couldn't get it all done now with no job, when I seemed to have everything so together before. The answer is STRUCTURE, SCHEDULING and PLANNING. Get up and dressed like you are leaving for work and get the boys dressed too. In fact, they are old enough to start dressing themselves with little help. Create menus and action items for the week. Put those boys in some kind of class to give yourself a few minutes each day to take a deep breath and do stuff like your facebook--limit your time on that though. And, by all means, include them in cooking and cleaning tasks. My son loves to help and he learns so much about being part of the family. He can now make scrambled eggs all by himself and made them for his ex-nanny and her husband when they came to watch him one night recently. Once you plan ahead and put structure into your life, I bet that your energy and motivation will return. Try it for a month--I think you will be successful! God Bless.

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S.

answers from Dallas on

I would definitely say get your thyroid and other hormone levels checked, start taking a good multi-vitamin and B complex vitamin, and hire some help! I think most of us would be at least a little overwhelmed with two four year old boys in the house! ;) Or four year old anythings - girls, dogs, etc. Try to find a way to have a housekeeper or babysitter or combo for a few hours once or twice a week. And after you've trained her to do things the way you want them done, start using that time to get out of the house and do something you enjoy. Exercise, go to the bookstore, meet a friend or hubby for coffee, walk around the mall - something that is for your mental health only! I know times are tough - if you can't find the $$ for extra help, find a mom you can trade time with. My neighbor and I sometimes do that (her boys are around the same age as my girls). Good luck!

Just had another thought: be sure your doctor runs a complete work-up on you. I had mono for a long time and could not figure out what was wrong with me. I had absolutely no motivation or energy for anything. It not only zapped me mentally, it also made me very apathetic and unable to have initiative. It's worth checking out and unfortunately, easy to confuse with depression or laziness. Also, buy your vitamins at a good health food store and ask for a recommendation for something to give you adrenal support.

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