Again, I Come for Help!!! Hitting.....

Definately a phase. I have two boys and one went through it at that age and the other one is following suit. What I did when he hit or swatted at me I would tell him we do not hit and put him in time out for one minute (I have a specific place I use for time out...1 minute for 1 yr old). I then go to him when time is up and explain in his words that it is not nice to hit people and then I give him a hug and tell him I love him. I do this everytime to show that what he did was wrong, I forgive him and still love him.

Hi B.,

I think this is a phase children go through. With my son, telling over and over again how it's not nice and hurts people's feelings seemed to do the trick. He would also try to hit me when he was about 3 or so. When this started happening, I would have the same conversation with him and then we desiginated a "chill spot" for him. When he was in this spot (we had one for our house and one for his grandparent's house)everyone knew to leave him alone. This, as well as, reiterating how you were not supposed to hit worked really well with him.

Hi B.,

When he hits, take his hand and stroke whatever he has hit (your face, your body, the dog, etc) and say "gentle touch." You can teach more gentle touch by playing a game - get a feather, a soft blanket or toy, a baby doll. With each thing show your toddler gentle touches - model for him and then have him do the same. To move through this phase, just remember to be consistent - tell him "gentle touch" EVERY time and be sure to show him how a gentle touch feels. By doing this you are focusing on TEACHING rather than on punishing him and he knows what kind of touch you want and like.

All the Best!
R.
http://www.noblemother.com

It is a phase ... with my son I would take his hand when he hit and say no hitting that hurts when you hit. It took a little time but he soon realized that this was unacceptable and doesnt hit just to be hitting anymore.

In my opinion, it's a stage but he won't grow out of it unless you teach him that it's wrong. Have you tried giving him a one minute time out in his crib or playpen? That's what worked for us. Our son started hitting when frustrated, so we gave him a one minute time out every time he would hit and since he hated being separated from us, he learned quickly that if he wanted to play or sit with mom or dad, no hitting. Good luck and I hope he learns not to hit.

it is a phase kids this young have a hard time letting you know what he wants or needs. try to figure out why he is hitting, does it happen when hes tired hungry over stimulated? if youre anything like me you have a hard time finding the right way to discipline a 1 year old. i feel that time outs arnt good b/c they really dont understand why they are there. help him find the words and this too shall pass

Try firmly grabbing his hands IMMEDIATELY --EVERY time he does it, and --sternly and seriously-- say, "NO!" Don't YELL. Just let him feel that 'mommy must be having a bad day and I'd better not mess with her'! LOL

my 14mo old has been swatting, especially when i or daddy hold him. so everytime he does it, i fake whimper. he then will feel bad, sometimes he'll cry too, and then he hugs me. i do the same thing i did when he bit me while nursing. just say that hurts mommy! he hasn't completely stopped, but i think he is understanding that it hurts...be patient, this too shall pass :)

yes, it is a phase. Just be consistent and whatever you do, stick with what you say. Try to put him in time out but he may not stay. You may have to sit there with him and go over why he is sitting there. If he is watching tv when he hits, turn it off and tell him why you did it. Do not go into a lot of detail, they don't understand much. "No hitting" or "hitting is NOT nice" are enough words. I am sure some may disagree but it is your choice, you may want to swat his hand when he hits. Remind him that he has misbehaved and when you tap his hand, ask, "do you like when ppl hit you?" "hitting is not nice" "no sir, we do not hit". My daughter's hitting or biting was short lived but that is how I handled it. Every personality is different though. Taking him away from the friend, the situation, telling him it is not nice should eventually be enough.

I think it is a phase, just keep saying NO
It will work one of these days.

It's definitely a phase. I have 2 boys, 5 and 2 1/2, and they both went through it. My younger one was worse about it and still does it every now and then, but it's usually when he and his brother are fighting. Just keep telling him no and eventually he'll get it.

When my boys were that age, they did the same thing. Everytime they hit, I got down to their level, squeezed the hand that hit (tighter than the usual touch, but obviously not painfully hard) and used a firm voice, looking in their eyes, "It is NOT OK to hit." I said the same thing everytime, my husband said the same thing, and did the same thing as me and we NEVER called them "BAD," or like so many southern women, I don't get this one -- "UGLY" (I never even heard someone say that until I moved to the south, it's AWFUL) negative words will make a negative stiuation worse. It is a phase and with consistency, will pass quickly. :)

I don't know what advice you've been given so far, but I ran across a book last week that has transformed my approach to parenting:

"On Becoming Child Wise" by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam, M.D.

This is part of a series that covers Babies, Toddlers, Children, Preteens, and Teens.

In a nutshell, the approach this particular book promotes getting to the heart of the matter by instilling virtues into your little one. You would be teaching him how to show love to others instead of hitting them, and teaching him how he should (or not do)do to others what he would want (or not want) done to him. This would be termed as giving a good substitution to his bad behavior instead of just trying to suppress the bad behavior. Now, since he is one, you would demonstrate more by showing him rather than telling him. For example, you would show him how to touch gently or give hugs instead of hitting.

Does this make sense?

I hope this helps,
L.

Hey B.~

I don't know how much help this will be because your little on is so young still. My mom would make me sit in time out for each time I hit....five minutes per punch. My older sister used to make up times I hit, just so she could get me in time out...LOL....some things, we just don't forget!!! As I got older, about five or six years old....I used to have to do dishes, everytime someone complained of me hitting to my parents, I got a weeks worth of dishes, and when you are that young, you learn pretty quick. I was ADHD, never on any meds for it, but was taught to control my actions first and foremost and to take accountability for them as well. This is one way to try....let me know what happens. You have to start young with them, showing you are the boss....hard to put a 1 year old in a chair to stay, but they will learn and respect you once it clicks with the child. Good Luck and you are in my prayers for it.

Everything is a phase, but this one can last for a year or two. They don't need to be taught to hit (by cousins); they are born with that impulse. The terrible twos start around 18 months, give or take. There's an excellent book by John Rosemond (www.rosemond.com) called Making the Terrible Twos Terrific. It explains why they do all these ridiculous things they do, and how to get them under control. It's available on amazon, or try the library.