Afraid to Put My Child in Church Daycare Because of Germs.

Keep everything in perspective. The child care you mentioned sounds like a train wreck. Most child care places have rules that they MUST abide by. Hand washing after diaper changes, etc.
O. bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bag.
Try another place.

My advice to you is to breathe. Would I let my kid dig in a dirty diaper bin? Absolutely not. But my kids and their friends always drank out of each other's sippys. They wipe their snotty noses and touch each other. They are kids. Germs are everywhere. I wouldn't so much be concerned with what they are doing as long as you wash their hands frequently. You're right. Kids do need to be exposed to a certain amount of germs in order to build up immunities. It's fantastic that you love your child so much that you don't want a repeat of your bad past experiences. But be careful not to go too far the opposite direction where your child becomes afraid of germs and getting dirty because of your phobia, and then doesn't enjoy normal childhood things either.

Let me give you a different angle, a children's Nursery Worker,

I have volunteered in the church nursery at 3 different churches now for the last 15 years, cared for kids ages newborn-youth. I can tell you this, what you experienced is NOT the norm for church. Sounds like the nursery coordinator was not able to keep up with making sure her rooms were properly staffed.

For me, every sunday that I volunteer, I disinfect EVERY toy that is played with, no matter if it was merely touched or it was chewed on by an infant. I make sure I wash my hands, disinfect the whole room, and wear gloves while changing diapers(Cleaning off the changing table surface between every change.) My church also has a policy that if your child is coughing, green discharge from the nose, ran a fever within 48 hours, or anything else like that, they ARE NOT ALLOWED! No ands, ifs or buts about it!

Exposing kids to germs is a part of life, sheltering your kids from other environments due to germs, is a little hard to do. If you have them in nursery while they are young, they develop social skills, and such too!

I have to ask as you seem to be a lucky person to be exposed to all you where as a child. Do you get sick very often now!?! I bet you don't which is great, you were exposed at a young age which makes it easier now. I wish I had that as a child. I am a somewhat germaphobic as I make sure after every time I pick my children up from preschool/church/gatherings etc I give them a hand washing or hand sanatizer and when my kiddos come home from school they are required to change clothes mainly because of the baby in the house right now. That's it that is the best I can do while keeping them active in the winter. I do also avoid mall play areas because that is where desperate (dare I say it that way...not to be mean) moms bring their kids sick or not to get out of the house a lot of times.

My kids always got sick in the church nursery no matter what I did or how clean they were. One of my children, along with 4 other kids(former church not my current one), got Ecoli and Saminella from the nursery. My fifth child is 8 months old and I finally got smart and we've never put him in the nursery. In his 8 months, he's only had one cold and that's it. We don't even know when we'll put him in. We'd like to wait until after he turns three but we'll play it by ear. Our church now, is the worse and two of my other kids got sick every single week for 10 months. They didn't get sick at all when we were visiting churches to find one that we liked. I even worked a bit to see if I could figure out what was making my kids sick. But I found that I'd have the throw ups every time I helped. Sooooooo, I stopped helping and I stopped putting my kids in the nursery. My other kids are older now and they are fine. It was just until they were 3 or 4 years old that I had so much trouble. I hope this helps. Good luck!

I was worried about exposing my family to germs also. BUT, it all depends on the hygiene practices of the facility and staff I have learned. With my first child she was in a large daycare and sick frequently. We stopped going to church because we seemed to get sick every time we went. With my second child we stayed away from everything for about the 1st YEAR! Now, we are attending a new church and my kids go to a home child care once a week (I stay at home with them now). Any none of us have hardly been sick this entire year. My daughter is in preschool 3 days a week, we go to church on Sunday and I help with the kids club for the preschool age kids every Wed. night, so we are exposed to more potential germs than ever. But we practice good hygiene ourselves and I know our church and my friend with the home child care does the same. And that seems to have made the real difference.

Side note addressing some of the other answers: Is it good to be exposed early as some people are saying? I don't think so. Why have everything all at once, that doesn't make you immune the rest of your life! Viruses mutate, for example there are lots of flu viruses and vaccines each year only cover the most common ones for that year. So it's ignorant to think if you let yourself (as some respondents have said) be exposed early you are healthier later, as there will always be new viruses and germs around to make you sick. Why not avoid being sick as often as possible and enjoy life in between.

Try another church. Every daycare is different. My son goes to Kindercare in Dallas, TX. and they are great on hygiene. Kiddos wash when they potty, before eating, after eating, etc. The daycare ladies wear gloves when changing the babies, and I believe the cabinet with the dirty diapers go is locked so the kids can't get into it. You need to let him be exposed to NORMAL germs. Your mom was super lazy with the hygiene too far in the other direction. You're doing great in being aware of your issues and not wanting to pass them on.

The only way to not really get sick is to avoid touching your face - which is REALLY hard. I don't believe in the anti-bacterial stuff, because all they do is breed stronger germs.

Keep looking and you'll find a place that has a clean routine that makes you comfortable.

There is no problem with you asking some questions. Like, are the children taught proper handwashing after noseblowing, bathroom, touching food, etc. Also look into their policies regarding sick children. You can't prevent parents from dosing their children with motrin to hide a fever, but you can obviously see runny noses, red yees, rashes, pink eye, etc.
Another thing to try is donating sani-hands wipes so they can use them on the way in the door to clean hands and faces.
Also, check on how often they clean their toys. I know when I worked at the Goddard School, they had a routine to wash the toys in a bleach solution each night. (The most used toys of course, not all of them) They only put out certain toys, and then they were washed and other toys were used until the were dry and ready for play.

These small things help with infection control. We can't put our children in bubbles, as easy as it would be. LOL

OMG! The church daycare that you had been too is very much NOT the norm!! I've never seen anything like that. You should definitely try out the new one - I can almost guarantee, especially since it is run by a MOPS group, that it will be better. The church should be able to provide you information about its childcare to help you feel at ease as well - if they have a website, it might even be in there.

As for exposing your kids to germs and still keeping them healthy, you are right that exposure to germs in important in building up their immunity. The key to preventing those germs from getting them sick though, it proper hygiene. Too much exposure is not a good thing, and as you know, kids should never share sippy cups, etc., and the trash should be off-limits. Washing your hands frequently with alcohol-based hand sanitizers or just plain soap and water for a minimum of 30 seconds each time is SUPER important, as is keeping a child well hydrated to boost their immune system and flush out germs.

I applaud you for "stepping out of your boat", and for wanting to volunteer at the church daycare. Your child is very lucky to have you for a mom!

Go for it. Good job wanting to go outside your comfort zone and realizing you don't want to be extreme either way. Yes, a diaper pail should be avoided - and I think normally is. If you are volunteering, then you will see and be able to help on the germ control side. And, simply pray - putting your child in God's hands for protection; the Holy Spirit is named as the 'Giver of Life' in the Nicene Creed.

My church nusery is not like this. Sometimes the kids DO get each other's sippy cups, but it is not allowed. No one ever digs in the diapers.

Where you were was not your Church Home. You will know when you find it and then, volunteer for the nusery. They will ADORE you for it!

Good luck.

No wonder you are hesitant! That church daycare sounds like a crappy place. I run our church toddler ministry and we have very strict policies to prevent unneccesary spread of germs. I would never allow what is going on in the nursery you are referring to. Hopefully the new church you are looking into has better practices.

We can't avoid germs alltogether but we sure can be smart and not let kids dig through a dirty diaper pail.
One thing you can do, is let the nursery/daycare coordinator know that you are concerned about the way things are handled.

In response to the last poster, exposure to germs makes us healthier in the long run because the body's immune system is like our muscles: It needs to have a workout to get stronger. Exposure to germs creates antibodies which in turn keep us healthy. An immune system that is not exposed to germs can acutally overract creating allergies. It's that simple.

That does not, of course, mean you shouldn't wash your hands after using the potty, before eating or that you need let your child eat dirt or lick raw chicken. But there should be a balance between allowing exposure and keeping your child safe. Keeping a child in a germ-free environment is liable to backfire on you in the long run.

And little kids get sick, period. Their immune system is like a blank slate and every illness writes a new line of immunity. Your son will get streph throat, he will catch colds, the stomach virus will come to call. Try to take it in stride. Sickness is like evil: It's part of life and without it we could never appreaciate the gifts of good health and goodness.

Don't let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch.
We live on a ball of germs.

Try the other one! You're right that kids need germs to build up their immunity but the one daycare you talked about seems like it was being almost negligent b/c of the understaffing. Try a different daycare (it'll probably still be unsettling to you b/c it won't ever be as clean as you are due to the nature of children!) adn volunteer! The kids would benefit and you'd be happy too it seems like. Plus your son will have a great time as 23 months is old enough to start socializing. Word of caution: your child will get sick more often being in daycare but studies have shown that kids who arent in daycare will get sick more often in kindergarten when they're finally exposed to germs. so it's kind of a do it nor or later thing. the illnesses will wane after a few months.

I didn't read the other responses, but I feel your pain! A few things I do for my kids. They do get sick, but I think these things help...
As you said, wash hands. I especially try to wash hands, or if I can't do that, use a baby wipe or even hand sanitizer as soon as they leave a play or public situation where they were touching things. I do this myself--even after just running into the grocery store to pick up one item (touching money, etc.) In the winter, I give them about 1/2 tsp. of elderberry extract everyday. If they start to come down with something, I increase that. Elderberry extract is wonderful for fending off germs, colds, flu, etc. I also give them Little Critters immune gummi bears every day. And I do sometimes decide to skip certain events. We didn't go to church last week because we flew to Ireland on Tuesday for Christmas, and I didn't want to chance them getting sick right before our flight (after leaving them in church daycare). BTW, our church daycare is great about cleanliness, etc. I also will not take them to indoor play places at this time of year, or mall play areas. Good luck!

Updated

I didn't read the other responses, but I feel your pain! A few things I do for my kids. They do get sick, but I think these things help...
As you said, wash hands. I especially try to wash hands, or if I can't do that, use a baby wipe or even hand sanitizer as soon as they leave a play or public situation where they were touching things. I do this myself--even after just running into the grocery store to pick up one item (touching money, etc.) In the winter, I give them about 1/2 tsp. of elderberry extract everyday. If they start to come down with something, I increase that. Elderberry extract is wonderful for fending off germs, colds, flu, etc. I also give them Little Critters immune gummi bears every day. And I do sometimes decide to skip certain events. We didn't go to church last week because we flew to Ireland on Tuesday for Christmas, and I didn't want to chance them getting sick right before our flight (after leaving them in church daycare). BTW, our church daycare is great about cleanliness, etc. I also will not take them to indoor play places at this time of year, or mall play areas. Good luck!

Try another one, unless you plan to home school your son will be exposed to germs once starting school anyway. I think its better their exposed at a young age, before school begins than when school starts and they get sick and have to miss a lot of school. Also, teaching good hygiene is a great idea and will help, so be sure to do that.

If you didn't feel comfortable there - you should go somewhere else. However, be realistic in your expectations. Kids share everything - if it's not a sippy cup, all the toys go from hand to mouth to hand to mouth.... Teach your child good hygene and control what you can. Expose him to othere kids and yes, germs... eventually he will need to go to school, and you want him to have somewhat of an immune system building up. I understand you are concerned as a good mom would be. Good luck!

I was a little like you at one time, but now I take vitamins that I know truly have boost my immune system. I get sick very infrequently. When I do get sick it is mild and passes quickly. This has allowed me to feel a bit "protected" and I am no longer a germ-a-phobe. Instead of going to extremes to avoid germs why not try boosting your immune system. If you'd like some suggestions for vitamins and herbs shoot me an email.

ACk!!!!!!! That daycare sounds horrible!!

You probably won't find a place that meets all of your criteria. In childcare settings there will always be germs. But I would look for one that has a good cleaning schedule and that is mindful about nose wiping, surface cleaning etc... I would so much rather my child be in a place where he/she was exposed to *some* germs than an environment so sterile that they couldn't really play or covered in chemicals that are more harmful than a germ.

Good luck!

try the new church keep an open mind not all are germ riddled sespools. It sound like the old one was not very well managed this one may be different and if you are there to help even better. Dont keep you kid from playing with other kids just because of germs.

I have germophobia too, so if you are that disturbed about the germs, don't put him in the daycare, check it out before you do so, sit with him in the daycare or wait until he gets older when your nerves can handle it...

To this day, I still don't understand this idea that to be exposed to germs (a.k.a. SICK) builds up ones immunity. Our immune system is its strongest when we are not sick. I don't get it! We keep our immune system "healthy" by not getting sick. We get sick by putting our dirty/contaminated hands into our eyes, nose, mouth. We can't see germs but they are indeed everywhere.

I was a sickly child too. I was not taught to wash my hands before eating lunch and snack at school. I was not taught to wash my hands after going to the bathroom each and every time. I learned these practices as I got older, as I became educated on how germs are spread, how we really get sick...and how to avoid getting sick. I have 3 children with another on the way, and I can honestly say that my children are hardly sick! Hardly. I've had ONE cold this year. It's great to be healthy! It really is.

The problem you will face no matter where you go is that not everyone practices good hand washing, not everyone understands that cups and foods and utensils should not be shared. BUT, if you find yourself in a place you love, you could be the one to begin teaching the others that sharing a sippy cup is not healthy for the children. The truth is, we are exposed to germs everyday. Germs are not bad they are everywhere but when they invade our bodies, well, now you have a bad situation. You don't feel well, your body is working hard to fight the infection and the only good thing about getting sick is that you will never catch the same virus twice. If that is what folks mean by "building ones immunity," then I'd say that is crazy. The BEST advice I can offer you is to begin teaching your child what to do and what not to do. Teach him that it is NOT okay to share someone else's cups, not to share food, and to always wash his hands before eating and especially after using the bathroom. Teach him how to use a paper towel to open a door after washing his hands in a bathroom so he doesn't get them dirty from the germs he cannot see on the door knob. These are the things you can instill in your child and he will always remember throughout his life.

try volunteering .. bring disenfectant soap with you... teach your child how to wash his hands as he gets older.. good luck.

As a child I was told if I didn't have my coat on I would catch a cold. It had nothing to do with germs in my mom's opinion. Things have changed and mom are more up on how to keep their kids from getting sick. Good for you trying to keep your son well, but you can go too far. Not exposing him to other people and children is impossible. Your first experience should of been different. Kids going through the diapers isn't normal and understaffing isn't safe. MOPS would be a good group for you to try. Moms wouldn't take their kids to it if they where really sick. Lessing chance of your son getting something serious. Your son will get every cold going around kindergarden if you don't get him out while he is young. You are doing a favor my getting him exposed little a time, instead of all his first year of school.