ADHD Mothers

Updated on July 13, 2007
B. asks from Lake Orion, MI
9 answers

I am working on a paper for class dealing with what the parents of ADHD children go through. I was just wondering if anybody out there could respond to some of the day-to-day struggles that occur, or how their behavior in school/learning effects the parent/teacher, etc...
If anybody could contribute, I would be very appreciative. Thank you.

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C.R.

answers from Detroit on

If you ever do a paper on having an spouse with ADHD let me know. My husband has ADHD.
Good luck!

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K.W.

answers from Saginaw on

My son, who is now 22, was diagnosed with ADHD when he was approximately 12. Prior to that time, he had numerous problems at school (making &/or keeping friends, following teacher's directives etc.) and when I asked a teacher if it was possible that he had this condition, she told me that it was the "cop out of the 90's." Due to his "antics", he was shunned by his class which was led by his teacher, to the point of making him sit alone in the corner facing the wall or the class being made to applaud when he brought in homework. At the time I was unaware of all of this going on and once I became aware, I took a major approach to trying to correct what I could. I wanted to share this whole experience first to give you a heads up on what some of the kids may come to bear who have this disease. The problem I found with ADHD that is still affecting him is his immaturity, especially when it comes to making and keeping friends. His hyperness can still keep him bouncing off wall to the point of total frustration to anyone around (and unfortunately, because he also had an anger problem, no medication worked well with him.) He never did finish his schooling (which to a large degree I still blame some on that first teacher back in the 5th grade) and he has a problem keeping jobs or anything that he soon grows bored with. I am hoping that with age a lot of this will improve so that someday he can be a happy and productive part of society. In the meantime though I give thanks for what he is, a loving devoted son who would give the shirt off his back to make me happy, and a handsome son with a smile that could melt the coldest heart. I hope this helps a little.

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Y.R.

answers from Detroit on

My 15 year old son has ADHD and has had it since he was 5. he was evaluated for a year before I decided to put him on medications. I personally do not recommend Ritalin as I could see him going up and down when his meds wore off. He was also on Adderall which worked very well (it was an all day pill), but after a few years, it just didn't work very well. He is now on Concerta which seems to be working well.

As for schooling, you must be VERY invovled with the teachers and principals. In middle school, no matter how much i talked to the teacher and principal, they just didn't want to take the time. When he went into high school (9th), i met with the counselors, principal, therapist and some of his teachers. I told them I had a horrible time with middle school and assumed this year would be as terrible. Well - he received all A's and B's! The first time in his life. I was constantly in contact with the teachers via email. If one said he was having problems, I told them to move him away from the windows, sit up front and work with him (telling him more than once) with his direction. All of the teachers were wonderful in working with him. THe best thing i can say is CONSTANT COMMUNICATION with each of his/her teachers. Yes, It was FHS! They are wonderful!

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J.H.

answers from Detroit on

My children don't have ADHD, however, my mother is kind of struggling with this.
My eight year old brother is extremely hyper and very smart. He finishes his schoolwork quickly and then disturbs the class. The teacher and principal at his school keep trying to force my mother to get him put on ritilan because he makes more work for them by them having to give him mire wirk or attention to keep him busy. Even though my mom has gotten several notes from his doctor saying he is not ADHD and does not need ritalin they school persists and tells her about once a week that they think he is ADHD.
I think that if it wasn't for me mother thinking for herself and not listening to what a few whiney educators were telling her that my brother may have ended up on a medication with horrible side effects. I feel sorry for the parents who they've told this to and who have went to their doctors and told them that their children has ADD, instead of fully explaining everything and having their child misdiagnosed.
My brother can spend hours playing video games or reading a book he is interested in, he just gets restless in school when they don't challende him enough.

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

I have 2 children that are ADHD. You can email me personally at [email protected]____.com with specific questions. I'd be glad to help!
C.

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L.W.

answers from Louisville on

Hi, my son is 11 and has ADD but does not have the hyperactivity part of the disorder. Math is extremely difficult for him in school and it has to be our biggest struggle over all. His teachers say he cannot remember simple concepts to build on them and so therefore he can never make progress. We have tried several ADD medications which have helped but the side affects are very severe for him. If you have any other questions please let me know.

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S.C.

answers from Benton Harbor on

I have an ADHD child and omg he is so hard to handle. My doctor has him on Adderall xr 15 mg. He will get into these screaming fits that are horriable. SOmetimes i have to walk out of the house just to deal with it all.H e has his good days and his very worst days. He tends to be very violent and mean, specialy when he dosent get his way. My son is 7 will be 8 this year he was diagnosed in 2005, When he was a baby till 5 years old he never acted like this but its gotten worse since then. It's very hard and I am hoping with him growing up that it gets better and the doctors assured me it would and other mothers that their children have this some say they do and some say they dont so im stuck wondering..

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S.N.

answers from Saginaw on

I have a friend that's son is the only child I've ever known that is a confirmed case of ADHD. By this, I mean, he had a specrtogram done, and the pattern is truly there. What I've noticed in Tyler is that when he's not on his meds, he can be very loud, active, and defiant. When he's on his meds, he can be sleepy and lethargic. Dispite the fact that the boy is bright, he is in special education classes, because the small rural school district he resides in does not know how else to deal with him. He was diagnosed ADHD at 4 years of age, and that was ten years ago. He can be very focused, when he is in a situation where he can be active. At a very young age, he started mowing the lawn, because he wanted to, proved he could do a good job, and be safe about it. When he's doing this, he is so focused. When he plays baseball, he is equally focused. And he is a very good, and safe motorcycle rider. I've always thought he could be a racer.

Also, I was raising my nephew for a time, through an informal arrangement. He was an untreated case of ADHD. We all knew it, but my sister refused to pursue it, claiming it was just the teachers being lazy. The thing I noticed most with him was that he would do his homework every night. I checked it, and kept him strongly on task. However, he routinely failed to turn his homework in. I asked him why he didn't turn it in, since I knew it was finished. He simply would say, I forgot. I asked him doesn't the teacher ask everyone to turn it in. He said no. But, I knew(through talking with the teacher) that it was more like he just wasn't paying enough attention to hear her when she did. Almost every ADHD child I've ever known could be very focused, as long as the work they were doing was active and physical. There's a part of me that thinks that many ADHD kids would thrive in a classroom setting that allowed for a more creative learning style. The vast majority of children I've known with this condition were very bright children.

If you can give me a more direct idea of what kind of questions you would like answered, I can forward them to my friends that have ADHD children.

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K.A.

answers from Jackson on

I have 2 4year old boys that are ADHD and let me tell you I could pull my hair out most days. From the time the boys get up in the morning until they go to bed at night they are everywhere all at once. Both boys go to preschool, seperate ones because I wouldn't put that kind of torture on any teacher. We have one of our sons on risperdal and the other one does not take anything yet. We are trying to see if the meds will realy work before we put both on it. Both boys have been kicked out of school for behavior problem.Both of the boys are very smart, but they just cannot sit still long enought to apply what they do know. Both of the boys get very frustrated easily. As a mother it is very frustrating, You want the best for your kids, but what is that? Both Boys are very loud, they can not sit still for more than 3 seconds. They have anger outburst frequently, and for no reason. Yhey act like they are not listening to you when you are talking to them, but they can repeat everything you just told them. There are so many things I could tell you about them, but I would be here all day. If you have any questions you can email me at
[email protected]____.com

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