Acting Out in 2 Yr Old Son (Twin)

I think that it's a good idea to have him re-evaluated through Early Intervention. You can ask for a medical diagnostic and have a very thorough evaluation with a developmental pediatrician and a team of therapists. The Erikson Institute in downtown Chicago is wonderful and I would highly recommend it. There are behavior therapists that would be able to help you as well. Good luck!

With it getting worse, I too would maybe try for another evaluation, for tips on how to help him and prevent his becoming set off if nothing else. Seem like he's overwhealmed very easily, like that's what sets him off? with the new situations and interacting with others? When our son was diagnosed with the sensory processing disorder, he was evaluated first by an OT at the therapy center our pediatrician referred us too. Then early intervention, though he was about to age out anyway, and then the school district since he was just about to turn 3 at the time. All 3 were free evaluations and they thankfully all agreed (though who's to say that first diagnosis didn't help the others to agree, who knows) After about 8 months of OT, he is a completely different kid. We don't have the daily struggles as we used to. There are surely tough times still especially in new situations and some kinds of transitions, but he has come such a long way with that early help! Also in the other areas it affected like eating, digestion, and wearing clothes are not such a major issue anymore, along with the social/emotional/behavioral. Now he's more like a typical strong willed kid. Strong willed, but self-controlled/regulated. Best wishes and hugs to you!!! I know what a struggle it can be! Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job in a very difficult situation :)

Hi. My son was/is in EI (about to age out), and he continued to have issues, despite the fact that the testers said he didn't have any besides speech. I finally went to UIC (they have a great reputation in this area), and they did diagnose him. Having the diagnosis, I was able to take it back to EI & they came out to retest - lo and behold they agreed. My point is that they really need to be pushed at times & you have to be a strong advocate for your child at all times. If you sense something is wrong, there probably is. I encourage you to ask for another/different evaluator. I also encourage you to get your child tested somewhere else if you have the insurance to do so. Your child is at an age where they can truly be helped to overcome their issues. If you wait until they're 5 or 6, it will be much harder for them to overcome and live a normal life (if, indeed, something is wrong). They diagnosed my son on the "normal" end of the autism spectrum (PDD-NOS). I was really upset when I heard it & disagreed with the diagnosis. I think that the docs are freely giving out this diagnosis, even when they are unsure, because it helps us get our insurance companies to pay for the services. It ended up to be a blessing because my son is getting all the services he needs - only good has come from it (and we will an easier time getting into a good CPS school). If they end up being wrong about the diagnosis, so be it. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me directly at ____@____.com luck!

Your son sounds like mine did. He was a miserable baby yet sometimes very loving towards me. My husband was gone a lot also, so I was left be myself with 3 children from 7a usually until midnight. He rarely saw the kids because he worked weekends too. I couldn't believe my child would pitch such fits. He has 2 older siblings and wanted to be by himself, he just didn't like being with anyone. I thought he was autistic but it turns out he has allergies that cause him to act this way. He could not tell me what was wrong because he did not know why he felt the way he did. He is allergic to milk, eggs, peanuts, grass, trees, just to name some. I never knew there was this type of reaction, one time he did have hives after eating peanut butter, so I decided to have him allergy tested. My allergist said that his behavior can be affected by allergies. We started him on shots for outdoor allergies and 3 other allergies, but we just changed his diet for food allergies. He became a different boy about 2 weeks after changing his diet. Good Luck!!
C. B

I don't really have any suggestions for you but just wanted to send you some hugs. Sounds like you have a lot going on! Hang in there!

Hi J.! I know how you feel! Boys can be very challenging when the terrible twos come around. My son started with the tantrums around 18 months and they got continually worse throughout year 2. We turned 3 in February and I'm amazed at how he has calmed down. I used to tell people that it was like a lightswitch for temper tantrums was turned on at his 2nd birthday! I couldn't go anywhere! I now have a 16 month old boy who is already ramping up! He throws himself in the floor and kicks and screams! It's quite a production!

My advice to you...first, remember he's 2 and a lot of his tantrums come from comminuication issues. He can't always tell you how he is feeling or what he needs. Be patient and show him some extra attention when you can. Ask a lot of questions to see if it helps him communicate with you. Second, children always test the person they are most comfortable with. The fact that he throws his tantrums around you means he trusts you most. That means he will test you most. Stick to your guns and follow through with everything. Give him two choices and ignore the following tantrum until he makes a choice. I always used to say, "I'm not going to listen to your screaming, so when you're ready..." and walk away. I know it's hard!! I caved sooo many times! Last, when dad is home, make sure that dad spends some 1 on 1 time with him doing something he really likes...and you should find ways to do the same. You can use it as leverage when you need to negotiate with him during a tantrum! Good luck! It will get better...and remember, not all issues need to be labeled by a doctor...most of them are just what kids do!

I'm so sorry you are going through this difficult time, particularly since it's mostly alone because of your husband's long work hours. I would suggest that you have him tested again. To me, it sounds like he may very well have some sensory issues, as well as ADHD. I've had a few friends who's children's behaviour was very similiar to what you've described and in the end that what it has turned out to be. Since he's only 2 you can push the evaluation through the state birth to 3 services. It just much more difficult to get services once they hit three, because it has to go through the school system and their standards are more difficult. But, if he has a diagnosis going into the school system, they're more inclined to provide services. Push for it - it will give you peace of mind to know he's been evaluated and it will give the family peace if you can help direct his behaviour once you know what you're dealing with.

can be just age or could be what he is eating or drinking when my son was in the age grope he would act out , we found out some chemicals in our food caused him to get aggresive. It took time to learn what ones to avoid but we did.

Rent a video called 1, 2, 3 Magic. It will change your whole life around. We rented it from the library and that was after 3 different friends recommended it as the only thing that helped them out.

After a year of trying to change things on my own, we rented the video and wished we would have done so when my son hit 2 (2 years earlier).

~C.

I love the book "The Happiest Toddler On the Block". I suggest that. Good luck!

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Best wishes,
J.

I ditto a lot of peoples responses as well. I have twins as well that are 2. They are both boys and one acts out as well and is embarrassing out in public. I can very much relate. We are still part of th EI program and actually this week we are having the behavior therapist come out for evaluation. She came out a year ago. Thought he seemed fine, but gave me a good pep talk. It was kind of what I needed to hear. We just talked to our boys neurologist today and she mentioned as well that is hard to know what these little people are thinking. If it is an age thing or a sensory issue. Since they are 2, I probably would get them evaluated again through EI. Good Luck with everything. You are definitely doing everything possible. Hope you can solve the situation soon!

Hi Jennifer--
As I read your story, i can't help thinking it is still a sensory issue. My friend's son was not properly diagnosed by EI and his issues have taken years to get under control. I, on the other hand, had great experiences with my daughter in EI. Another friend of mine has a daughter who didn't get help until kdg. I would call them again and fight for Occupational Therapy. The sooner the better for him...and for you. Even if he is never diagnosed with a sensory disorder, he will still benefit so much from the OT. And if they don't help you, I'd try outside therapy like The Pediatric Place. You sound like a WONDERFUL mom!!! My daughter has special needs and I continue to work on the OT stuff. It's a struggle, but it sounds like his behavior is a cry for help even though he doesn't know it. Take care and good luck. Let me know if I can help you in any other way.

Just a guess, but maybe at his age, he is surrounded by females all the time and with the father working all the time, that may be the structure that he needs.

It is possible that if he had more of a male figure around him, his attitude would change. I do believe that the father has to work like he does, but more of his attention to the son can make a lot of difference.

I think it is very true that it is harder for a women to raise a boy to be a man and you definately need help. If your husband can understand what is going on as opposed to you just telling him what happened, he will step up to the plate, if he can. If not, your problem has potential to get worse.

I know people think that when their child doesn't act they way they feel they should, the first thing they do is take them to be evaulated. This tends to put a lable on kids that shouldn't be there when the answer is right at home.

Just take it under consideration and talk to your husband instead of using insurance on a problem the two or you can solve.

Some good advise on parenting: Dvd by Barbara Coloroso, Winning at Parenting Without Beating Your Kids. Fun and informative!