Accidents Happen?

Hi A.,
It can be difficult when a previously "trained" child begins to have several "accidents" but if she is doing it daily it is no longer and "accident."
Try to figure out if something has happened to cause her to be uncomfortable with the toilet (ie. overflowing toilet, constipation, another person, etc.).
If it is none of these. Offer her a reward (ie. a sticker or 1 skittle or raisin or whatever you choose) when she goes for 1 hr without pooping her pants then ask her if she want to try the toilet. Every hour that goes by, make a big deal about her NOT going in her panties (maybe use a party horn or something like that to make it a celebration).
Have her sit on the toilet every three hours if she has not pooped. Read her a book or something to keep her on the toilet and encourage her to "go". If she doesn't go after 5 or so minutes let her get off but put her on again every 30 - 60 minutes so she will have the opportunity to "be successful."
When she does go, make an even bigger deal about that one (call daddy at work or grandma or a close friend so that they can gush to her over the telephone about what a great job she is doing)
I guarantee if she is being stubborn, this will win her over.
Of course you do not have to continue this intensely for more that a few days as she will pick up on your approval really quickly. Then when she takes the lead, remember to let her know how pleased you are with her choice and maybe give her a sticker or draw a smiley face on her hand or something every so often to reinforce her good choice.

Happy mommying,
A. K

My daughter went through many phases like you have described, and I think the other posters have accurately detailed many of the reasons that may exist, and some of the things that can be done. I mostly want you to know that yes, this is within the range of normal, and you can expect that periods with accidents may continue until she is 5 or 6 (although they will get less frequent and less severe).

A.,
All of your thoughts are possibilities. Is she in a new situation where she isn't comfortable taking herself to the bathroom, or is she around new and exciting activities that she doesn't want to leave? At her age, someone should make sure she sits on the potty and tries to go at least every 45 minutes, even if she was doing better earlier on. Is she getting attention (even negative) when she has an accident? Kids will do almost anything for attention. Is it possible she has a bladder infection? They can be common in girls who take bubble baths for reasons I do not recall but can happen in children of either gender with our without bubble baths. With our son, we tried our best to stay neutral while implementing "natural" consequences for accidents when it was clear he had no interest in staying potty trained (he had no physical reason for this -- just a control thing, I think). He always goes to the bagel store with his dad on Sat mornings. On a Friday that was a holiday, we took off his diaper for good and explained that he no longer needed them. When he had an accident, we were supportive and reminded him that there was a potty nearby (we carried one into whatever room he was in). After another accident, we were still supportive but explained to him that the bagel place does not allow people who pee on the floor to come into the store and that, unless he went the rest of the day without an accident, he would not be able to go to the bagel store (darn that strict bagel store policy!). He had another accident. We told him how sorry we were that he would not be able to go for bagels the next morning, but if he made it through Sat without an accident, he could go to music class on Sunday. Strangely enough, music class had the same no peeing on the floor policy. Go figure :) . He was very upset when his dad actually went to the bagel store without him, but I explained that Daddy really wanted to bring him but couldn't until we were sure he wouldn't pee on the floor -- out of our hands, bagel store policy. A natural consequence of having accidents was not being able to go places that did not allow kids who peed on the floor. We were able to stay out of a power struggle (which we had ended up in the first time we tried about six months prior -- had to give up, wait, and start all over again) because we were on his side. We just couldn't go against these pesky policies. Sure enough, that was the end of the accidents. We also had him sit on the potty every 30-45 minutes just to try for the first several weeks, all went to the bathroom before leaving the house, and used a sticker chart to reward him for successes. I hope some of this helps. Good luck!
K.

I think she might be to into what she is doing, ie playing, my son used to do the same thing, we even went back to rewarding him for going potty in the big boy potty and then from there he never wet his pants.

Now remember every child is different- your child may be having accidents every day, or maybe she is forgetting .. this is normal. Both my boys' were complete oppposite- one hated diapers after 1 and the other could not get out of these things til they were 4 so - normal!! Just dont' stress over it, just relax and take it one day at a time. Good luck ~

Hi A., The newness wears off of everything after a while, when it is no longer fun and getting the attention it was at first, it just becomes something that takes their play time up. Go back to the beginning and say about every half an hour "it's time to go potty" don't ask if she has to go, because the answer will be no. Make a game of it, go to the bathroom and try, but sit there with her and read or play with a toy or something to occupy her for a few minutes while she relaxes and tries. Get her back into a routine of being dry. Bladder infections could also be an issue. No bubble bath in the tub for a while to see if that helps. Good luck C.